Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Cuckolding Takes Place

Jim and I returned from dinner at around 10:30 and found that my husband had prepared our home for our arrival. There was music playing that I did not recognize. It was very dark piano music, a jazz artist that he had discovered on the internet. The only lights in the house were candles. There was a trail of white rose petals that led to the door of the bedroom. As Jim and I followed the trail into the bedroom, we could not help but notice that the trail of white petals led to red rose petals that surrounded the bed in an imperfect, scattered ring. My husband knelt beside the bed and inside the ring. His head was bowed and in his upstretched hands he held a single glass of red wine. Jim took the glass from him and took a sip. He handed the glass to me and I finished it, placing it back on the nightstand beside our bed.

Jim took me in his arms and kissed me. He began undressing me, but I stopped him. I asked him to go into the bathroom to get undressed and told him that my husband would remove my clothes. This gave my husband an opportunity to spend a few private, intimate moments with me before his transformation would occur. He undressed me with great care. He planted small kisses on my feet and my thighs. I ran my fingers through his hair. When he was completely done, he pulled back the covers of the bed and I lay down perfectly beautiful before him, wearing only the necklace that I had chosen to serve as a tangible reminder of the new life that I was ushering in for him.

Jim then walked back into the room. His naked body was very impressive. He had an athletic chest. His penis hung semi-hard between his legs. It was not enormous, but it was larger than my husbands and it was very beautiful. He matched my stare as he approached me, and he put one knee on the bed as leaned over me to kiss me. His one leg remained on the floor as he moved his mouth over my neck and down to taste my chest. I was extraordinarily aroused and I closed my eyes and moved my own hand betweeen my legs where I allowed it to massage and moisten me. He moved his own hand over mine and manipulated my fingers so that I had the best of both worlds, both the softness of my own feminine touch and the strength of his hands working together for my pleasure.

I opened my eyes to see that Jim had grown fully erect. It had been a very long time since I had put a penis in my mouth. I had abandoned long ago and forever the notion of servicing my husband. At this occasion, however, I was suddenly struck with a desire to put all of Jim's cock into my mouth. Again, with one leg on the floor and one on the bed, he positioned himself in such a way as to accomodate my hunger. With my eyes again closed I put my mouth on his balls, ran my toungue up the length of him and finally swallowed the head of his cock. My eyes opened to see my husband gazing intently at my lust. I pulled my mouth off of Jim only long enough to smile wickedly at my husband. When I returned to sucking my lover's cock, I kept my eyes affixed on my husband's eyes. He was at once transfixed and far away.

When I had warmed Jim to his satisfaction, he pulled his hard cock from my mouth and for the first time committed himself to the bed. He lifted my outstretched legs and postioned his knees in front of my body. He pointed the head of his cock at my warm opening with military precision. He paused, knowing I had a very clear plan on how we would proceed at this point.

I held out my hand for my husband to take. I had him rise from his knees and I deliverd his hand to my lovers cock. I suspected that he might do so very gingerly, as if he was holding something he found offensive to touch. He surprised me by wrapping his fingers around the base of Jim's cock and holding it with an almost erotic grasp. With his other hand, he held the tip of Jim's cock just below the head. He guided it to my waiting body and positioned it on the warm, wet lips that had so long been reserved only for matrimonial pleasures shared between husband and wife. I watched his gaze go from Jim's cock to Jim's eyes.

"Tell him," I said.

"I want you inside her," he told Jim.

"So be it," said Jim, "I'm going to fuck your wife."

With that, Jim's cock slipped inside me. Guided only at first by my husband's hand. Then my husband stepped back and watched my flesh give way as Jim took me as his lover. He let his one leg fall back to the floor so that he could gain greater leverage as he rhythmically stroked his heavily veined, magnificent cock in and out of my body. I allowed myself to forget about my husband as I became a vixen bitch for this powerful man. My fingers pulled at his chest hairs, my breasts shook as my body was rocked by his thrusting hips. I arched my back and pointed my toes to the ceiling. I was having orgasm after orgasm and my desire for it to go on forever was only matched by my need to feel his warm ejaculation inside me. Ultimately, Jim gritted his teeth, dug his nails into my shoulders, and exploded.

It was then, with my eyes still closed and my breath short, that I noticed a warm kiss on my forehead. It was not Jim. Jim had pulled his heavy body off of me and was standing beside the bed facing me. It was my cuckold husband. He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead again.

"I love you," I whispered to him.

He closed his eyes and kissed me deeply on the mouth. I put my hand between my legs. I could feel Jim's warm seed leeking from my body. I touched it and brought it up to my husband's lips. He closed his eyes and sucked it off of my finger with an animal hunger that reminded me that his own passions were not spent. I opened my legs for him and he climbed onto the bed to position his mouth on my dripping pussy. And with this mystical potion of my lust and my lover's seed, he completed his metamorphosis into cuckoldry.

Jim stepped out of the room and into the bathroom to freshen up. It seemed like an eternity before Jim returned. I was enjoying new orgasms from my husband's mouth, and I was losing track of time. Jim took my hand to announce his return.

"Cuckold, my lover is back. Sleep on the floor beside us. We will need you again in the morning."

With that I slept. I am sure that my cuckold did not.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Impact of Cuckolding

I will very likely return to post the details of the cuckolding experience. I have written much of that post, but I am saving it for a later date. Let me talk a little bit about the aftermath of the experience as I feel that many of you may be interested in what is happening since the dust has settled.

Let me first say that we have not repeated the activity since the first encounter. Even I underestimated the intensity of this experience on my husband's submissive psyche. I do not say this to mean that the impact was negative. It certainly had the desired effect of creating a new high water mark in regard to his sub-space experience. However, I do not want this to be commonplace and jeopardize the opportunity to again hit or even exceed the emotional depth charge that it was.

I look at him differently. This is a beautiful man that has now made the ultimate surrender to me. In an evening, he layed ego, centuries of tradition, and any pretext for returning to a mainstream life at my feet. In exchange he received the perfect knowledge that he is completely and irrevocably mine.

He looks at me differently as well. It is as though I control a chemical release into his brain that he will forever need in order to feel happy and complete. Some might say the same about love, but I have known both, and I prefer this.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

I have not lost interest

I have not lost interest. However, while many of the posts on this blog have been very supportive, I have been adequately offended by enough of them that I have had many second thoughts about continuing this blog. I will likely return to posting, but I am not yet ready to do so.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Cuckold Adventure Continues

My husband opened the door and welcomed my new lover into the home.

He had of course seen Jim before at the charity party where Jim and I first met. However, these were very different circumstances. I had coached Jim to be very matter of fact with my husband. Apparently all that transpired prior to my husband returning to the bathroom to announce Jim's arrival was a very non-descript introduction and hand-shake.

I gave myself one final look in the mirror and headed out to meet Jim. My husband followed behind me. We greeted each other with a small kiss and Jim was quick to compliment me. He looked very good also. He wore a pair of wool dress slacks with a tight-fitting black shirt and autumn-colored sport coat.

I instructed my husband to pour Jim and I a glass of wine. Then, at the risk of making Jim a little uncomfortable, I asked both of the boys to join me in the living room for a quick chat. I sat next to Jim on the couch and my husband took a seat in the high-backed chair opposite the two of us. I put one arm around Jim and held my wine in my other hand.

I told my husband that I had explained our marital arrangement with Jim. However, to make sure that there was perfect clarity on the matter, I asked my husband to again explain our situation. My husband was clearly nervous. He started by saying that our marriage is female-led. He chooses to submit to me because this is what makes both of us happiest. Part of that submission, he went on, includes my absolute right to take on additional sex partners. While I had never done this before, my right to do so was not to be questioned. Furthermore, my husband conceded that he very much wanted this to happen. To the extent that it was ok with the two of us, he would like to watch, and if possible, assist in any way that we required.

At this point, I asked my husband to kneel in front of me. I told Jim that my husband's involvement would be totally his (Jim's) call. In truth, I had already discussed this with Jim and we had agreed that my husband would participate. I leaned into Jim and we kissed each other passionately. For a moment, Jim's hands slid up my skirt and warmed the space between my legs. I asked Jim if he was still ok with our plans to go out to dinner and return afterwards. Jim was indeed very enthusiastic.

Now I very dramatically licked the rim of my wine glass. Then I put the glass in my two hands and extended it down to my husband. I told my husband that he has one last chance to express any concerns. Or, by taking a sip of the wine, he would seal his fate and forever be my cuckold. He took my cue and sipped the wine that I offered him. I told him to stay on his knees and watch us as we rose to leave the house. The last thing I told him as we headed out the door was that when we returned, Jim was going to fuck me.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Cuckold's Evening: Part 1

I am going to have to do this in pieces or I will never get around to finishing it. I have not yet decided what level of detail I will get into as the story progresses.

Friday afternoon, I had gone out and had my nails done while my husband was at work. He got home early, around 5:30, and I came in the door from the nail salon right after him. He greeted me at the door with a friendly peck on the cheek. I embraced him and turned his friendly peck into a deep, romantic kiss. Then I asked him to go off into the bathroom and run me my bath. When I came back to the bathroom, he was naked and kneeling beside the tub waiting for me to arrive. He helped me out of my clothes, but before getting in the water, I asked him to neatly trim the patch of hair between my legs with the clippers. He did this and then cleaned up the mess while I sat in the tub to soak.

He washed my entire body including my hair. He helped me out and wrapped me in two plush towels. I asked him to get into my bath water and clean himself up while I got started getting myself ready. He was not in the tub long. He was cleaned up, out and straightening things up as quickly as he possibly could. He definately wanted to participate in the rest of my preparations for the evening. I did my own hair and started on my make-up while he sat behind me planting soft kisses on my bottom. I told him to keep his tongue in his mouth as I did not think it would be fair to Jim otherwise.

My husband helped me into my hose, my skirt, my top, and my shoes. I told him to go get himself ready while I finished primping. He put on a pair of simple dress khakis and a starched, white button-down shirt. He returned to the bathroom and stood beside me just staring at me. He told me I looked beautiful. I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. I kissed him very softly on the lips. I told him I loved him very much. I told him that I was doing all of this because I wanted to do it, but I was doing it with the understanding that it was also what he wanted. I asked him if this was correct, and he nodded. He told me he loved me also. Then he told me that in submitting to me he feels intensely loved in a way that overwhelms him and satisfies him in a way that he could only describe as primal... as spiritual and physiological at the same time. He said he knew that he would feel that love on this night and in fact said he felt it as he spoke. I handed him the necklace that we had bought on our shopping trip and asked him to put it on me. I told him that I was wearing it for this occasion, and I wanted it to always remind him of this evening. He held it to his lips and kissed it before fastening it around my neck.

I told him to go into the kitchen and open a bottle of wine while I finished up. I asked him to set out two glasses, but not to pour anything just yet. I was still primping in front of the mirror when I heard the doorbell ring.

Saturday, October 22, 2005


My husband served breakfast to Jim and me before Jim left late this morning. I will post a more detailed update when time and energy permit. For now let me just advise any of you fantasizing about submission to your wives and not living the joys that it has to offer, please do yourselves a favor and buy the Around Her Finger book immediately!

Friday, October 21, 2005

My 50th Post

Well, tonight's the night.

At dinner, I plan on discussing my very detailed expectations for the "after dinner show" with Jim. He already has a high-level understanding and buy-in as to what will be happening. I want to take it a step further and to some extent script the evening to maximize my husband's sub-space intensity and my own personal enjoyment.

Stay tuned.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Cuckold Shopping Trip

My husband has been absolutely on edge for the past several days. While he has spent a lot of time nibbling between my legs, he has remained chaste and has spent every night sleeping on the floor beside my bed.

Last night we took a little shopping trip to get ready for my date. He helped me pick out stockings, shoes, a new skirt, a very elegant top (much too hip to refer to as a blouse) that shows off my breasts beautifully. All night long there was "Jim is really going to like this" and "Jim will love ripping this off me" sort of chatter. Taking a cue from Elise Sutton, I had him walk just slightly behind me and carry all of the bags.

We stopped in an artsy little store after going to the mall where I purchased an inexpensive necklace. It was a small, white square amulate on a thin, black leather strand. It is not particularly symbolic of anything on its own, but I just wanted something unique to wear for the evening.

Before we went to sleep I sat on the end of the bed and let my husband kneel in front of me sucking on my toes. I talked about what I wanted Jim to do to me and how I knew that in pleasuring me it would also please my husband. I want to feel Jim's hands on my body. I want to know his breath on my neck and on my mouth. I want his weight on me. I want him to lift my legs apart by pushing up my thighs with his strong forearms. I want a long pause as the head of his cock gets in position to penetrate me. At the moment he slides inside of me - as I feel that first slow stroke pushing his warm flesh into my body - I want to be staring at my husband. I want him to know that I love him, but not to expect my look to convey this. My look will convey our mutual realization that in this moment he is being humiliated... cuckolded... all because he has allowed it to happen and only in part for his own good (my pleasure is at stake here as well). He will instantly fall into sub-space. My eyes will fall off of my husband and onto my deserving lover. As Jim takes me he deserves and will receive my attention.

With that, I pulled my toes from his mouth and got under the covers to sleep.

Monday, October 17, 2005

My Husband's Request

My husband has requested that I not share the details of my upcoming date with Jim on this blog. He claims that it is too intimate an experience to be shared in this format. I have not yet decided how I feel about this request. My husband asks so little of me that I am inclined to honor his wishes as they relate to this matter. I am only making you all aware of this now so that your expectations might be tempered in advance.

Feel free to comment on this issue because as of now I remain undecided, and I could possibly be swayed by feedback from this community.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Discussed Cuckolding with My Husband

Last night my husband and I went to a very low-key dinner at an Italian restaurant with the sort of corny red and white checked tablecloths you see in movies. We had a long talk about everything that is happening. He is quite frankly scared to death about my date next week. I too am incredibly nervous.

As scared as both of us are, we are both determined to go through with the whole affair. I have promised my husband that I will never see "Jim" without my husband being involved in the evening in some way. I have also committed that I will cease to see him at all if my husband becomes uncomfortable with the process. This is not an abdication of my dominance in any way. I choose to give my husband this decision-making authority because the authority is mine to give. The very act of granting him this veto power is evidence of my dominance. It also will add an element of involvement on my husband's part that he could not otherwise have. When he watches Jim's cock push against the lips of my vagina, and watches my body open to receive him, he will watch knowing that he could have stopped it by simply speaking up.

My husband and I drank a bottle of wine and talked about a thousand subjects. We have so much in common. He is a wonderful man and I love him dearly. I am fortunate that he serves me, but more fortunate yet that he loves me.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Cuckolding Scheduled

My husband had just fixed me a cup of herbal tea and was on his knees rubbing my feet with lotion when the phone rang. It was Jim, the new man in our lives.

We chatted like old friends and I smiled often as I listened to him flirt with me on the telephone. Shortly into the call, I allowed my own hand to find its way between my legs, and I began pleasuring myself as I continued to speak with Jim. My husband mistakenly took this as a cue to start going down on me, but I silently scolded him and intimated that he needed to continue to focus his attention on my feet.

I continued to chat as my husband returned to his duties. Soon Jim got around to asking me out. He initially suggested a trendy new restaurant not far from my home. I told him that I was too likely to see people I knew there, and I preferred something more discreet. We settled on a restaurant in a very artsy part of town where I am unlikely to know anybody. The date is set for next Friday night. He will pick me up at 7:00, we will go eat, and we will return to my house where my husband will have desert and wine ready for us. Jim and I concluded our call by saying we would definately talk again before next Friday night.

After I hung up the phone, I asked my husband to go and get my pinky ring off of the nightstand. Recall that this ring is a tool that I use as a surrogate chastity device. (When I'm not wearing the ring he knows that while he will still be expected to serve me orally prior to intercourse, he also knows that he may consumate his intercourse by ejaculating inside of me. When I have the ring on, he is not to orgasm.) Having removed the ring earlier in the evening, I am certain that my husband was expecting to orgasm later in the night. When I instructed him to go get the ring so that I could put it back on, I made it very clear that he would remain chaste that night. I am certain that he also assumed, correctly, that I am inclined to leave that ring on until afer the cuckolding session next week.

I went to bed that night, but before doing so used a very large dildo to pleasure myself. My husband, at my command, slept beside the bed on the floor.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Phone Call

He called me today.

My husband was working, but I was home. The phone rang, and when I picked it up it was the man that I met at the party this weekend. For the purpose of this blog, let's call him Jim.

Jim and I spoke for some time. It began as the sort of giddy small talk that two teenagers might have. Soon, he asked me to share a little more detail about the openness of my marriage. I told him that my husband and I have an understanding; I tell him what to do and he does it. I explained that I am the dominant spouse in our marriage, and my husband accepts and furthermore embraces his submissive role. I went on to explain that as a result of our roles, I am permitted to sleep with other men and my husband must only be intimate with me. I also told Jim that if he and I ended up sleeping together, it would be the first time that I took advantage of my freedom. I also explained, as best I could to a man unfamiliar with femdom marriages how this would benefit my husband. I told Jim that I would like to involve my husband in any affair in which we might decide to engage, and that he would need to indulge me in this requirement if he wanted to pursue me.

We talked about all of this in some detail. I am rushed right now trying to get to the gym before the crowds arrive, but I will continue to update all of you on the progress I am making.

I can't help but thinking that I have come a long way from aroundherfinger.com!

Sunday, October 09, 2005

New Cuckold Candidate

I definatley like the prospect of the current candidate to cuckold my husband better than I like the idea of my ex-fiance. As many of you suggested, bringing my ex-fiance back into my life would have a great deal of baggage associated with it. This new man was a complete stranger prior to this weekend.

I am still a long way from moving forward with this. I had given him my phone number, but he is yet to call. That has not stopped my husband from being completely on edge since the other night. Every time the phone rings my husband has been running to get it so that he can hand it to me to answer. Those that have cautioned against me moving forward with these plans must really consider how badly my husband seems to want this.

Cuckolding Interest Resurfacing

My husband and I were at party last night for a charitable organization in which I am involved. It was a large event at a downtown hotel. My husband had gone to get us drinks at the bar, and while he was away, a very attractive man approached me and started speaking to me. After some time, my husband returned with the drinks, handed me mine with a polite smile, and then quickly darted away to allow me to continue my conversation with this man.

I could see my husband across the room keeping an eye on us. As much out of an interest in teasing my husband as anything else, I began to flirt with this man with physical cues that would even be evident even from a distance. I ended up spending most of the party talking to him, and we spent quite a bit of time on the dance floor. He is single, but I explained to him that I am married to a man with whom I share an understanding. His eyes lit up as he had never been involved with a woman in an open relationship, but it was clearly of interest to him.

At the end of the evening he asked me to go home with him. I declined the invitation, but I did give him my cell phone number. He left before I did, and he kissed me on the cheek when he left, in full view of my husband. We left shortly thereafter. I could not wait to get home and get my husband's tongue between my legs.

I told my husband that I expected to see this gentleman again and that I expected him to be supportive. I will absolutely post the developments on this blog.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Time with the In-laws

We hosted my husband's parents recently for several days in our home. As I have indicated before, we choose to keep our femdom lifestyle very private. Therefore, it was relatively difficult to live our typical day to day lives given the guests in our home.

By the time they left, I would have to think that my in-laws would at least have to consider that our marriage is, at the very least, not typical. Despite the fact that we were very restrained this week, my husband still continued to do an enormous amount of the household work soley on the basis of habit alone. The one meal that we had at home, he cooked and served.

The only escape that we had the entire time was when we retired to our bedroom. I spent more than one night penetrating him with my strap-on. His tongue danced between my legs from the minute the bedroom door was closed. It was as if we had both been in a desert deprived of water the entire time that we entertained his parents. On the final day, it occured to me that I could remind him of the strap-on session the night before by having him discreetly wear a plug for the last afternoon that the two of them were with us.

While it was a delightful visit, by the time they left, my husband and I were both exhausted. It is funny how you become comfortable with a certain set of daily routines and find yourself at ill ease when they are not present in your life. If nothing else, the visit from the in-laws served as an excellent reminder that we are both - my husband and I - happiest when he is in unhampered service to me.

Monday, September 26, 2005

One But Not the Other

I really am more and more convinced that most (maybe all) men have an innate need to submit to women. I think that an individual's circumstances may suppress that need in some cases and may exagerate it in others, but I think it exists nonetheless.

While I would like to believe that all women have an innate desire to dominate men, I just have not seen enough evidence of this to convince me. Within certain subcultures, women seem to take on roles. In traditional Southern communities, women often seem passive and submissive. On the other hand, in the African American community, dominance seems to be the prevailing female nature. I remember watching the show Wife-Swap where a black wife was clearly dominant to her white submissive husband. She laid in bed and rang a little bell every time she needed something.

In general, however, dominance does not seem to as ubiquitous in the American woman (I am not qualified to speak in regard to other countries/societies). I still maintain that the potential to self-actualize via submission is in the eyes of almost every man I see.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Breaking Him Down Slowly

I regret in some ways that my husband has always been aware that he is submissive. How lucky you women are that have husbands completely out of touch with what I (more and more) believe is the male's innate need to submit.

You could break him down slowly by using your feminine sexuality to tease, torment and ultimately conquer him. You can take credit for introducing him to the pleasure of loving female authority. You can watch him evolve and grow under your constant nurturing. Before and after snapshots will reveal quite a story. The before profile is a man with no direction, no focus. The after profile is a man committed to your service and free in a way that he never was before.

Women owe the introduction of femdom to their men. Anything less is almost cruel.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Training Regime

I was asked in a comment to my last post to discuss whether or not I have a formal training regime in place with my husband. I thought a little about it, but I have to say that the answer is no. There is no training involved with him beyond his getting used to certain activities (e.g. see my post on golden showers). The rules are very simple... I tell him what I expect him to do, and he does it. On occasions where he is slacking off, I remind him of what I expect and he reacts. I really am not a masochist and have no desire to inflict pain to perfect his ability to perform a given task.

If training is required in a femdom relationship, it seems to me that the wife is the one that needs it most. Remember -- this is a 24/7 relationship with a man that I love -- I have to learn when to back off and when to put my foot down. There are occasions when he needs a little down time, and I am growing in my ability to recognize these occasions and moderate my expectations accordingly. Any woman living this lifestyle over time that tells you he is always "on" is, in my opinion, just not being honest.

Perhaps I should spend more time on this topic as it is of more practical value than my musings on cuckolding, etc. I think the topic is well-addressed in Around Her Finger, but I would enjoy sharing my insight on it here in this forum.

Friday, September 09, 2005

More on Forced Bi

Further consideration has given me some new thinking on the notion of having my husband suck another man's cock. I have thought about how many times in the early years of our marriage I put my mouth on his cock, and I think of the forced bi experiment as an opportunity to wash away his past transgression for putting me in this position of juxtaposed authority.

When giving my husband blowjobs in the past, I did it because I felt it was an unselfish means of providing him pleasure. Of course I recognized the aura of humility that it brought to me, but never gave it a second thought given that it was occuring in a loving relationship. However, now I look back at it with an enlightened perspective. My husband knew at the time that we first married that he was submissive. Even if I didn't know it, he did. He also knew that I was superior to him and demanded reverence in the relationship beyond what I even comprehended at the time. Yet knowing all this, he still allowed me to kneel before him and to place my mouth on his penis.

He tells me now that he never really enjoyed receiving oral sex. While it produces physical pleasure for him, it never engendered a sense of closeness to me. This sense of closeness - of emotional intimacy - was always a decent if not perfect substitute for the sense of intimate surrender to me that he now has via our open practice loving female authority. So, knowing that the blowjobs represented some sense of temporary submission on my part, and knowing that he did not really want them in the first place, I am left thinking of a remedy for what he allowed to happen.

Perhaps to have him know the humility of sucking a cock is entirely appropriate.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Forced Bi Fantasies

I have never given much thought to the idea of forcing my husband to participate in bi-sexual activities. I have always known that if I cuckold him, I would like him to clean the other man's cum from between my legs, but that's not quite the same as putting his mouth, for example, on another man's cock.

Much of the cuckold erotica involves an evolution in the sexual play to a point where the alpha male is dominating at least the cuckolded husband and forcing him to suck on his cock or in some cases open his legs to receive anal sex. Some of the cuckold erotica goes a step beyond this and the alpha male ends up dominating both the submissive male and the wife. I know that the latter has no appeal to me as my authority in my own home is not to be questioned. The former, however, has some appeal, but I would not envision participating in this sort of activity in any initial cuckold experiment that I may undertake.

I want the centerpiece of the experience to be a surrender of his jealousy to his submission. I want the animal need to gaurd one's mate to be overcome by the intellectual, spiritual and perhaps equally innate need to put my pleasure above his own emotions. I want the void of humiliation to be washed away by the power of his devotion to me. This all seems better afforded by a cock between my legs as opposed to one in his mouth.

My husband denies any forced-bi fantasies. I wonder if these fantasies are common or not among submissive men.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Cuckolding Close to Home

Please excuse my recent absence from the blog. I am going to have to resort to less frequent posts as time constraints and writer's block are making the daily commitment impossible.

I have thought a great deal lately about the pleasure I would take from cuckolding. This is separate from the impact it would have on my husband altogether. I have found myself thinking that I would like to be with another man just for the sheer hedonistic pleasure of it. This seems important.

I was at an outdoor party in my neighborhood this weekend. There was a gentlemen who perhaps had too much to drink who was going just a little beyond neighborly chit-chat and flirting with me with quite blatently. He is an attractive man, and I will confess to having been very charmed by his actions.

I mentioned this to my husband later. My husband doesn't know this man very well, but for some reason is not very fond of him. He asked that I please not entertain any thoughts of cuckolding him with this man. I would never cuckold him with this particular man as 1) he is married, and 2) I do not want a reputation in the neighborhood that results in hushed whispers every time I go for a walk. However, I have been teasing my husband a bit with the idea.

The whole thing gets both of us extremely hot.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Instructions for my Male Readers

For the most part, people are not stumbling across sites that preach the virtues of loving female authority. Most of the people that come to sites like this do so because they have an active interest in the topic.

I think that the best way to generate awareness and enthusiasm for wife-led households is to push for mentions of the topic in general audience media outlets. Send letters and emails to magazines, post on forums related to marriage advice, call your local radio talk shows. Do anything that allows people that are completely unaware of femdom marriages to hear about the topic. You can mention your favorite sites if you want, but just mentioning the subject in general will at least make people aware of the fact that sites like this even exist. People can then do their own research with a search engine if they wish.

Male visitors to this blog are encouraged to reach out to the media at least once a month with some sort of plea to cover this topic. Please post comments against this post to indicate what you are doing to honor this request and what, if any, response you might get. If you send emails to sites, include a copy of the email and the address to which you sent it in your post. The Around Her Finger Movement begins with individuals just like yourselves.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

The Missing Link of Loving Female Authority

Men have definately accounted for the majority of individuals that have commented on this site. This is no accident. I am absolutely sure that there are countless more men than women that know they are interested in female dominaiton as a lifestyle. I think that dominant women are generally content to be so without analyzing and fantasizing about it. Submissive men, however, have a near obsession with it and seek forums such as this for kindred souls and genuine advice for developing a femdom dynamic in their own relationships.

The real irony is that women could more easily benefit from forums such as this because the message to potential dominant wives is so simple and easily understood. They need only understand the "great missing link" of loving female authority. That missing link is that it is not enough for men to submit to a woman. They need her to acknowledge his submission and communicate their dominance over him. Men are willing to serve any woman that actively dominates him for as long as it pleases her. They can only serve in secret for so long. I think this is the central message of the Around Her Finger movement.

Friday, August 26, 2005

The Politics of Femdom

I have heard the growing consciousness of male interest in loving female authority described as the Around Her Finger Movement. It is an interesting term as it is easily and quickly described and has the convenient follow on monicker that men are happiest when wrapped around the finger of the woman they love. The purpose of this post, however, is to explore how a man's submissive nature translates into a political disposition and a broader political movement.

My husband and I are both basically libertarians. We are socially liberal and economically conservative. In the voting booth that has generally translated into me voting Democrat and my husband voting Republican. There is no question that my husband would cast his vote however I tell him, but I also have no desire to rob him of this right. What will be interesting is how he will vote if Hillary is running against a man. I asked him what he would do in this situation and he was genuinely undecided. Frankly we would both be scared by the threat to our rights by someone as liberal as Hillary in office, but I for one know that I will vote for her. I like the way matriarchy works in my own home and I want to see it expanded in society in general. I suspect that he does as well.

I welcome your thoughts on this topic. However... I have one caveat. While I shared my own political views to set up my story, I am not interested in arguing politics on this site. You are of course welcome to share your own views to introduce your comments, but men especially, don't dare challenge my conclusions regarding politics. I will delete your posts at once. If you want to argue politics go to Little Green Footballs or one of the countless blogs devoted to general political discussion.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Pushing Him

One thing that becomes evident as a wife-led relationship progresses is that his work in completing routine chores does not provide him the same endorphin rush that it did in the beginning. Submission is an all encompassing relationship dynamic, but after years of doing my laundry (for example), I am certain that ironing my blouses does not have the same sexual edge it once did. In one very real sense this is irrelevant. He will do my personal bidding as I see fit regardless of the pleasure he takes from it. In another sense, however, I am obligated to continue to stimulate his submission simply because I love him and I want to see him take pleasure from his service.

I am constantly showering him with reminders of my control in the relationship. Sexual teasing during the day and erotic activities in the evening go a very long way in keeping him motivated. However, at least one visitor to this blog implied in his post that my interest in cuckolding my husband represents another step in intensifying my domination over him -- a step I take only because I am becoming bored with all the steps we have taken so far. I wondered if perhaps there was some truth to this. Cuckolding would probably be the last step I would ever take, and I hate to think that I go there because I am addicted to intensifying my relationship. This would mean that after cuckolding there would be nothing else left to explore.

After much thought I have decided that this is not the case. I am not on a linear path in my relationship with my husband that would ultimately have an end-game. I am in a relationship with my husband that was wonderful before femdom, and will be wonderful if we do or do not explore activities that we have so far avoided.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

An Obvious Purchase

If you have ever had a massage in an upscale spa, you know that they typically offer no comparison to what most husbands, submissive or otherwise, might offer at home. I want to share with you some of the elements of the home massages that my husband gives me that make them a truly escapist experience.

To begin with, he purchased a moderately priced massage table off the internet. The entry-level models range in price from $250 to $500. Be certain to get one that has an extended head-rest and that can support the combined weight of the two of you. The same online stores that sell these also sell massage aromatherapy equipment, massage stones and warmers, linens, etc. Be sure to purchase the massage oil in quantity. Another thing that separate the home massage from the spa massage is the quantity of oil or creme that they use in the massage. Do not let him be stingy. Have him use a generous amount of the oil and spend a lot of time on each muscle area working it in.

Also, setting the mood is important. We do our massages in a loft area off of our den so that we do not constantly have to set up and break down. We have about fifteen candles, a cd player that plays custom mixes that I put together (lasting about an hour each), an aromatherapy vaporizer, and towels, linens, etc.

I tell him to go set up the massage and he runs up to get it ready before I go up. When I come up, it is in nothing but a robe. He is waiting next to the table, candles lit and music playing, on his knees completely naked. I lay down on the table as I would at a spa, except for the fact that I place a small pillow below my hips so that as the massage comes to a conclusion, he will have better access to my anus and vagina for oral service. He covers me with a sheet and proceeds to massage one part of my body at a time until the CD comes to a conclusion. Then, and only then, do I allow him permission to go down on me from behind. This lasts for about another twenty minutes until I decide how I want our intimacy to conclude for the evening.

We have been doing this -- I would estimate -- three to five times a week for over two years. Therefore I look at the several hundred dollar investment in the massage table as pennies given the value it represents. By my rough math, my average cost per massage to date is below $1.00 per instance. A massage at the high end spas in my own area cost over $100 per hour and they don't include the twenty minutes of delightful tongue dancing on my bottom!

For men that are already living in femdom marriages, buying this table is a duty. For those that want to nurture their wife's dominance, I would say there could be no better first step than this.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

My Husband's Views on Cuckolding

Quite a number of the comments posted by viewers of this site have appropriately urged caution concerning any plans I might have to cuckold my husband. My husband and I had a lengthy and candid conversatoin on this topic last night, and I thought I would post some of his thoughts here on the blog.

He confesses that cuckolding scares him to death. Just as I have confided in all of you that he is the most important person in my life, I am also the most important person in his. Any cuckolding experience holds the potential to unleash emotional energy beyond what we can imagine going into it. Also, the idea of me developing an attachment to my new lover that transcends mere physical pleasure is not something either one of us would want to happen. This is a very real fear for him.

So between the two of us, we share a mutual knowledge that cuckolding is dangerous. We also,however, share a mutual understanding that it is incredibly powerful. He knows that there is nothing that will more acutely stimulate his submission than to assist me as I am taken by another man. He described his fantasies to me in this regard with great detail. Whether or not I ever go through with it, I absolutely must leave open the possibility that I will. We both need to know, for our own reasons, that I am the sovereign in our marriage. My limits are my limits, but his limits are whatever I decide that they are.

Last night, after our conversation, I took him with my strap-on with an intensity I seldom have brought to our lovemaking. I ultimately collapsed on his body in exhaustion. I saw afterwards that he was crying. I kissed his tears then ordered him to sleep on the floor at the foot of my bed.

Monday, August 22, 2005

My Husband's Role in this Blog

When I first started this blog, my husband was among the first to read every post. It was only when I began to plot out the details of my cuckolding plan that I restricted him from viewing this blog. He is once again reading these posts.

To my husband, this blog is a mechanism for appealing to his desire to be publicly outed as a submissive without the consequences of our family and friends having access to the intimate details of our personal life. I think that many submissive men want the world to know that they serve their wife, but also recognize that the world immediately around them may not be quite ready for that reality.

I may again decide to take another look at cuckolding. If I do, I will likely think of another way of sharing the details of my intentions outside of this blog yet still involve the growing community of readers interested in our relationship. The idea of having a large number of strangers knowing more about my intentions than my husband has a great appeal to me -- despite what anyone else might feel about it.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

For Those Who Find this Site Objectionable

I received a very respectful, but disapproving post that was critical of the relationship that I have with my husband.

I understand that many, even most, people that would happen across this blog would be quite shocked by the nature of our wife-led household. My most sincere regret, however, is that anyone's initial introduction to loving female authority come from this blog. While many men that have been suppressing their inner desire to submit to women might immediately realize what wife worship has to offer them from reading through these posts, many other men and certainly most women would consider the advanced nature of my own relationship as much too extreme.

As I have done in previous posts, I encourage anyone reading this blog to go and read through the Addison's www.aroundherfinger.com site. They describe a much more genteel approach to loving female authority that I do here. Nobody that reads through their site with an open mind could deny that their approach is both realistic and satisfying for all those that choose to embrace it.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Are All Women Candidates for Wife-led Marriages?

Clearly there are some women for whom cultural, religous and even psychological reasons are going to be extremely reluctant to embrace what loving female authority can offer them. Maybe there are some women that will never embrace their dominant side. However, I honestly believe that most women can be coaxed into assuming a position of more authority in their home and, over time, can become more dominant. They may not have their husbands kneeling in front of them while they pee in your mouth, but they can and will get used to the idea of telling them what they expect and want.

In a recent comment to one of my posts 'Quiet Guy' complains that his wife refuse to believe that he'll start doing more housework. Well, Quiet Guy, prove it to her. Get up at 4:00 a.m. and have it done before she's out of bed if that's what it takes. Submission is very serious business. It is not a game. Until she's received her 52nd foot rub from you, until you've made some token confession of your submission, until you have made every effort to prove to her that you are there to serve her, then don't give up.

You belong kneeling at her feet, and she deserves to dominate you. Take your seduction of her dominant nature as seriously as you take your fantasies of sexual submission.

Mainstreaming the Wife-led Household

I would imagine that the community of couples participating in relationships where both woman and man openly acknowledge her dominance is very small. I would be relatively certain that it is fewer than 5,000 households, maybe fewer than 1,000 (please challenge me on this if you have evidence to the contrary). However, I believe that the number of households is enormous where 1) the man is a closet submissive and would LOVE to be controlled by his wife, and 2) the wife would be open to the idea if it were appropriately presented to her.

I am certain that this blog is not particularly helpful to drive a movement of mainstreaming the femdom relationship. I have already crossed barriers in sharing my own experiences that detract from the poignancy of an initial introduction.

I think the two key selling points for a woman are that first and foremost, submission is an expression of a man's love for his wife. Men have trouble expressing themselves. My husband's submission to me is love just as my nurturing of his submission is also love. The second selling point is that it will make a woman's life more comfortable. He works hard to keep me happy. In doing so, it makes him happy. Incidentlally, his happiness is not beside the point.

I have rambled even though I try to avoid doing so in this blog. Anyone that chooses to build on these points and/or can offer suggestions for mainstreaming femdom, please do so.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Sometimes Even a Dominant Wife Likes to Be Taken

I am dominant and my husband is submissive. That will never change. I have become much too comfortable with the benefits of my authority in the home to ever go back, and he receives so much deeply felt gratification and satisfaction from his service to me that I am almost convinced it is his innate nature.

From a physical intimacy perspective, my greatest physical pleasure comes from prolonged oral service followed by penetrative intercourse. For reasons I have already discussed, I do not always permit him intercourse, and when I do, I do not always permit him an orgasm. When we do have intercouse, it is always with my express permission and his cock always enters my body with great reverence. His strokes are measured and mechanical, having been coached by me as to what pace makes me receive the most pleasure.

That said, there is still a part of me that just wants to be ravaged. I want something other than the obedient tongue and even-tempo of a cock that follows my orders. Can a dominant woman be ravaged by her submissive husband? Will this upset the domestic applecart? I don't know.

It definately puts the idea (and just the idea) of cuckolding back into my mind.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Become a Submissive Husband

I wanted to thank everyone for all their wonderful posts and comments. I am considering all the advice that I get in regard to any future decisions that I might make, so please do not hesitate to continue posting on either the cuckolding issue or anything else of interest.

I wanted to reply to 'Quiet Guy' in my blog because he had specifically asked that I do so. Quiet Guy is typical of many men in their fifties who are now comfortable enough with who they are that they can open up (at least to themselves) about submissive feelings that they have had bottled up for years.

I am certainly no expert on how to approach your wife about your feelings, but I absolutely understand men's fear that their wives will regard the lifestyle as a bit too kinky for them. I would ordinarily recommend www.aroundherfinger.com, but in Quiet Guy's case, he had already been there and bought the book. His concern is that the idea of orgasm denial which is mentioned on the site might be over the top for his wife.

Quiet Guy, I think you absolutely wrong. Women do not understand how a man's brain chemistry is affected by an orgasm. Open up to her, write her a letter if you must, but don't live the next twent-five years of your life choking on this secret desire of yours. It will make both of you happier if you express an interest in it. Let her read the book. Get her opinion on it. Let her know that submission is an expression of love. You will grow together as a result. You belong on your knees in front of her, and she deserves your open acknowledgement of submission and obedience.

Good luck.

Friday, August 12, 2005

What Creates a Submissive Man?

I think there are many theories as to why men become submissive, but little evidence beyond anecdotal accounts.

I think the standard explanation of men who have great responsibilities at work and merely want to relinquish control to another is pure poppycock. There are many submissive men that do not have high-powered careers, yet still crave loving female authority. Also, there are many very succesful men that are overwhelmed by responsibility, yet have not the slightest notion of taking pleasure from a woman that takes them with a strap-on.

My own husband describes how he was aware of his submission very early in his life, even before he reached the age of puberty. This would tend to support the idea that submission is innate in some men. This may be the case, and the idea that it is the natural evolution of human gender relationships taking shape has incredible appeal to me. However, I have seen nothing that would tend to prove this through empirical data. Maybe it cannot be proven through empirical data.

I welcome your thoughts and would really welcome evidence to support them.

Academic Research on Male Submission

I have tried but failed to find some quantitative account of how many men fantasize about being dominated by a woman. I thought with all of the Universities offering degrees in human sexuality, that there must certainly be some academic study ranking male sexual fantasies. I cannot find anything reliable and documented that does so.

If you are aware of any serious research on this topic and can post links to where it can be found, please post them here.

Cuckolding on Hold

While I have yet to tell my husband (for whom this blog remains off limits), I have decided to put the cuckolding experiment on hold. When I next email my ex-fiance, I will tell him I just wanted to give him something to think about and that I will reach back out to him when I am ready to discuss my web site suggestions further.

One very liberating thought is that the decision of whether or not to cuckold my husband remains mine to make. I am the final authority in my home, and I know that for my husband, it is an intense reminder of his submission to me that I am only an impulse away from taking another man as my lover. I think that the very idea that I can and might still cuckold him may have nearly the same impact with none of the emotional risk of actual intercourse with another man..

My sincere thanks to those that have posted on the topic. Rest assured that I will continue to post, but will find other areas of our relationship with which to detail for readers. Also, please know that I am available for questions and topic suggestions if you will only post to let me know your areas of interest.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Second Thoughts

I got a posting from 'Dirk' that really hit a nerve. He's encouraging me not to play with fire and to put the cuckolding plans on indefinate hold. I think he may be right. Please, please will anyone that has experience or thoughts on this topic please weigh in with your comments. I'm already resolved to slow down.

I just need to give this more time and think about it since once done, I can never undo it.

Cuckolding Plans: So Far So Good

My ex-fiance (and current candidate for a lover with whom I plan on cuckolding my husband), responded to my email in which I asked for his feedback on the Around Her Finger site. This site is the most tame of the femdom sites on the web and is really more of a non-threatening introduction -- sort of a seduction -- to loving female authority than it is anything else. It does not mention cuckolding. I sent it to him only to see if even the notion of a female-led household was too much for him to handle.

To my surprise and delight he wrote me back an email saying that the site appealed to him in a way he never could have imagined. He said that he has been excited by dominant women his entire life, but had never pursued a relationship like this because he thought they didn't exist. He thought, like many people, that domination and submission is all about whips and chains.

His reaction was almost too accepting. I merely wanted to check that he would not be put off by the nature of my relationship with my husband. I do not want another submissive lover. With my husband, I have a submissive man in my life already. I want my ex-fiance to come in and play the part of the alpha male in order to intensify the bond my husband and I already have. In the end, this is not about my ex-fiance, it is not about me or my husband individually, it is about my husband and I together.

In his email response, he wanted to know where I was going with all of this. I told him I am not quite ready to let him know. I sent him another link, this one Elise Sutton's site, and have asked for his feedback on her site as well.

I will keep everyone updated. Thank you for all the emails of support.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Testing the Waters with My "Bull"

I have heard the term "bull" used to refer to the lover that a woman chooses to take when she cuckolds her husband. It's somewhat crass, but it will work. Eventually I need to come up with a pseudonym with which to refer to him on this blog. I'm open to suggestions.

I received one comment (thank you, 'quiet guy') which brought up an interesting point. While a wife-led household is new to me, a latent dominant personality is not. I suppose that my ex-fiance might have recognized this quality in me and would not be surprised to learn that I have taken it to a new level. I decided it was time to take somewhat of my first gamble with him.

Last night, with my husband kneeling in front of me and giving me a foot rub, I again called my ex-fiance. We had a very pleasant, and incredibly flirtatious chat. Towards the end of the call I asked him his email address as I had something on which I wanted his opinion. (I had my husband scuttle into the kitchen to get a pad and paper on which to write it down. He's helping me already!)

This morning I have sent him the link to the Around Her Finger site. I'll first get his feedback on this site and then confess that my husband and I live in a wife-led household. Based on his reaction, I'll next send him to Elise Sutton's site. Assuming an open mind after reading her site, who knows what I'll do next. I'll definately talk to him honestly about what I would like to do. I might even send him to this blog and let him put two and two together. Imagine his surprise when my ex-fiance figures out that he is my current bull-in-waiting!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Pedicures from my Husband

Sorry... no cuckolding updates today. There are so many other aspects of our lifestyle on which to comment, however, that I will never be without something to say.

I seem to be one of the few dominant wives on-line that does not receive pedicures and manicures from my husband. Realistically, he is just not equipped to do a professional job. For one, the nail salons have those wonderful foot baths for which the home versions just do not do justice. Secondly, there is definately a skill to doing the nails, and it is one for which I have lost patience being my husband's test patient.

I love to have him kiss and lick my feet, and I love foot massages. But at least in our home, he does not do my nails. This is a treat that I continue to receive outside of the home.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Moving Forward

I have told my husband that I want him off the computer until further notice. I intend to discuss more about my plans on line than I care for him to know in advance.

I called my ex-fiance today and had a "long-time-no-talk" sort of call. While I was a little flirty, I definately did not tip my hat as to my intentions. I mentioned to him that I would be in his city next month and if it were convenient we should catch up over dinner. He agreed that given a couple of weeks notice he would love to catch up with me.

I'm now getting a little nervous over the whole thing. I don't just mean the implications on my relationship with my husband, but also the fact that I will be outing the femdom nature of my marriage to someone with whom I have a very strong past and with whom I still share many personal friends and acquaintences. I suppose I need to let him know. I welcome any and all input on how to proceed with him.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Cuckold Teasing Last Night

Last night my husband's tongue was nestled between the cheeks of my bottom, kissing and rimming me as I lay stretched out on our bed. I began discussing with him some of my thoughts on cuckolding.

I told him that I was thinking more and more about it lately. I told him that I am very open to his input on the matter, but ultimately, it will be my decision and my decision alone. It is my perogative as a woman to seek sexual pleasure in whatever way I choose. I told him that it would be good for him to realize that he is not my only option for physical pleasure. I also explained that should I decide to pursue cuckolding him, I will expect his support and cooperation.

He will help me to make arrangements for the evening. He will help to pick out my outfit and dress me for my lover. If asked, he will cook us dinner, serve us drinks -- do anything really that might make us more comfortable. I asked him if he wished to be in the room for the event. He responded that he wasn't certain. I told him that I also was not certain, and it would most likely be left up to my lover and whether or not he was comfortable with the idea. I told him that I would probably prefer he be in the room. I like the idea of my husband actually helping in the process in some way. I have read stories about men who guide their lovers cock into their wives the first time that they are taken. I know this would bring my husband into subspace and this idea really appeals to me.

Within the next week I will be contacting my old fiance and running this idea by him. I told my husband as much last night.

My Husband Refers to Me by my Name

I received an email from a submissive man that had visited the blog. He wanted to know if my husband called me Mistress, Goddess or something indicative of my position in the home.

I prefer to be called by name. I undertand that some women prefer a term of authority, but as I have said before, my husband is first and foremost just that -- my husband. The majority of our interactions are quite vanilla. I suppose we could use a name during periods of service or intense domination, but I prefer not to do so.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Interactive Cuckolding

I am loving the fact that I have this blog as an outlet as I go through the process of deciding if, when and how to cuckold my husband. Sharing my thoughts with a web community brings more spectators into the event and will contribute to the experience for both of us. Please, please send comments and suggestions that you feel would be helpful to the process. If you post comments on the blog, I only ask that they be in good taste and consistent with the spirit of what I am trying to accomplish.

I feel like I have taken my own wife-led household from a www.aroundherfinger.com style to a www.femalesuperiority.com style and have enjoyed every step of the way.

Cuckolding Candidates

Last night we had what might best be termed a "hypothetical" discussion relative to cuckolding. I asked him to help me come up with some ideas of who I might choose as my lover if I decided to go through with it.

I teasingly suggested a friend of his with whom he plays softball. He is very good looking and single (although he has a girlfriend). I told my husband that this friend has an incredible body and would probably make a wonderful lover. My husband was kneeling in front of me completely naked at the time and giving me a foot rub. This afforded me the opportunity to look down and see his cock getting hard as we talked about his friend. At the same time, I sensed that he might be sufficiently concerned about the impact of this fantasy beyond the bedroom, so I have more or less written this man off as a fantasy scenario.

My husband remained mute as to suggestions, so I continued with more of my own. He had a boss at an old job that he absolutely could not stand. He was a little older than us, but reasonably good looking, and he definately considered himself a ladies man. Although I never told my husband, this man had hit on me several times. He had constantly treated my husband disrespectfully, and my husband definately left that job on poor terms with this man. I looked down to see that my husband's cock remained very hard while I discussed this idea. I'm sure that the element of humiliation would have been absolutely maximized if I chose this man, but I am also sure that there would be more emotional baggage than I am prepared to deal with at this stage.

Then, to my surprise, he suggested a man that I was once engaged to before the two of us met. Our break-up had been amicable, and we kept each other on our Christmas card list. He had also gotten married after our break-up, but was now divorced. He lives in another city, which has many benefits for a plan such as the one we are in the process of hatching. I feel like I could trust him completely and that he would be willing to play whatever role I ultimately decide is best for my husband (i.e. the detached lover, the "alpha male" that contributes to my husband's humiliation with verbal taunting, etc.).

While I have not yet told my husband, my mind is made up. If I decide to pursue cuckolding, which is looking more and more likely, it will be with my old fiance.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Public Displays of Submission

I am definately of the mindset that my husband's submission to me is a private matter. Our families and friends know only that he is respectful and extremely devoted to me. They do not know, nor do I wish them to know, that in our home he obeys my every command and has surrendered himself to my authority.

That said, we are both excited about the occasional moments where it becomes clear to strangers just who is in control in our relationship. When we are at restaurants that are not near our home, I have ordered for both of us. Once when the waiter handed the bill to my husband, I let him know that I was offended by the gesture. I told him that he should assume that men and women should share the power in a marriage and that the check should be placed between the two of us. When he apologized and moved to place the check between us, I reached forward and took it from his hand. I told him that in our marriage, we do not share the power, and he could go ahead and hand it to me. When we got home, my husband and I were both so excited that he could not wait to begin servicing me.

We have had other experiences which had a similar effect on us. One time we had agreed to meet after his work in a bar near a venue where we were going to see a concert. An attractive couple, much younger than he and I, were seated at the bar next to me, and we ended up in a pleasant conversation. Without outright detailing the nature of my relationship with my husband, I made it very clear to them that the secret of happiness in our marriage was the fact that he understood that I was the one in charge. When my husband finally arrived, I introduced him to the couple and explained to him, right in front of them, that I had just told them we had a mutual understanding that I wore the pants in our marriage. He blushed and seemed a little uncomfortable. I then asked him to hold my purse as I was afraid something might get spilled on it if it remained at the bar. As any woman knows, holding a purse is considered a mark of complete humiliation for the more barbaric men amongst us. My husband, however, dutifully held me purse while we continued to make pleasant small talk with this couple for another twenty minutes.

Early Thoughts on Cuckolding

The very first time that cuckolding was ever mentioned between my husband and me was when I first discovered him pouring over the Elise Sutton site. Recall from earlier posts that he adamently denied any interest in cuckolding. However, trecall that he also denied any interest in strap-on play and golden showers. We all know where those denials took us.

Even long into the development of the femdom aspects of our marriage, I never really considered cuckolding. It just seemed, and still seems, too psychologically intense and way too emotionally risky to really consider. You must realize that my marriage with my husband is the most important thing in my life. While I only write about the femdom aspects of that marriage on this blog, the overwhelming amount of time that we spend together is spent enjoying each others company in the way any vanilla husband and wife would do so. Loving female authority is an aspect of my marriage, but it is not my entire marriage.

Earlier posts have talked about the way that I have my husband go down on me after he ejaculates inside me. I have aluded to the fact that his enthusiasm for this activity is enough to raise my suspicions that he may indeed have some fantasies, conscious or otherwise, of being cuckolded by me. One night very recently we had intercourse. As always, he positioned his face between my legs to begin his required task. His semen was already leaking out from between my legs and I could feel his tongue begin by collecting the tiny pool that had dripped down to my anus. He then proceeded to the very deep strokes of his tongue inside my vagina that give evidence to his affinity for this task. While I usually lay back with my eyes closed to enjoy this moment, on this night, I looked down to seem him playing with his own cock. It was not quite hard, but it was on its way to being so -- and this within minutes of having already orgasmed.

Quite out of character, I asked him if he had ever fantasized that it was another man's seed that he was licking from between my legs. After quite a pause, he answered that no, he had not. However, I knew at this moment that the hesitation in his voice provided very strong evidence that he was in fact fantasizing about being cuckolded at that very moment. I told him that one day it might be another man's semen between my legs and that he should give some thought to how he would feel about it.

Nothing else was said that night between us. I know that my own mind was racing with ideas. I'm sure his was as well. For the first time I knew that I at least wanted to explore the possibility of cuckolding him. I had crossed so many other barriers, why not consider one more. Over the next few weeks, you will continue to see posts related to this topic as I continue to think more about how I might want to proceed. Your feedback is certainly welcome so long as it is thoughtful and respectful.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

What I Learned About Golden Showers

In much the same way that I knew I wanted to incorporate strap-on play into our marriage, I also knew that before long I wanted to have him kneeling in front of me and let me pee in his mouth. I can't explain why the thought of this turned me on as much as it did, but I could not wait to try it.

One morning I was walking into the bathroom when I noticed him getting ready to get into the shower. I told him to go ahead and get in the shower (the water was not yet on) and get on his knees. I was wearing what I had worn to bed, a long t-shirt and panties. I stepped into the shower with him and took a seat on the little teak bench that we have in there. I had him remove my panties and face me. I lifted my legs onto his shoulders and positioned his mouth between my legs.

I asked him if he had ever thought about golden showers. He said he had and in fact it turned him on. I told him I was going to pee in his mouth and I expected him to swallow every drop. I then released a long, strong stream into his mouth. To both of our surprise, he gagged on my nectar as he tried to swallow it. He swallowed what was left in his mouth, but most of it splashed onto his face and down his chest. He said he just wasn't prepared for the warmth, the saltiness, and the strong taste of urine and he reacted negatively to it.

Afterwards, I tried to do some research on the web. I couldn't find anything that made me believe that this was a common reaction. All of the golden shower stories I could find had the submissive men lovingly and adoringly swallowing the golden shower as if they could not get enough of it. I finally sent some emails to some professional dominants that offered golden showers as a service. I asked if they had ever seen anything like what happened to my husband and me. I was relieved when two women responded and both indicated that my experience was an incredibly common reaction. Most men, and the overwhelming majority of first-time GS recipients, cannot handle the unexpected intensity of this activity.

One of the women offered me some advice. She said that at least at first, I should consider watering down the intensity of my urine by drinking a great deal of water before a GS. My morning pee would have been incredibly intense and was hardly for the beginner. Secondly, she said that I should allow him to work up to a streaming golden shower by first providing him opportunities to drink my urine at his own pace. She also told me that she felt it was important that I not walk away from this activity. While it sounded melodramatic when she said it, and moreso now that I re-tell it here, she said that his drinking of my nectar is an opportunity for my feminine essence to enter his physiology, to become a part of his body. It will allow me to be with him and inside him always, whether I am present with him or not. I kind of like this idea.

I followed her advice and started him off at a slower pace. I first would have him come to me after I had peed and clean me off with his tongue. Then I worked him up by drinking a great deal of water and peeing into a wine glass. He was permitted to drink this glass at his own pace, and after it had cooled a bit. Gradually, I would require him to drink the glass more quickly, and when it was still warm. This went on for several months until he became completely accustomed to the smell, taste and temperature of my urine. Finally, we returned to the shower where he was able to swallow every drop of a true, streaming golden shower.

We now participate in this activity at least two or three times a week. I prefer to do it before his morning shower because it can still be a little messy for him, even after lots of practice. We both love it and respect the role it plays in reinforcing my authority and his humility.

Small Steps Up to Strap-on Play

The first several months after acknowledging and accepting my husband's submission were quite tame by any standards. They were characterized by my growing comfort and enjoyment with my new role but in no way were they accompanied by breaking through barriers that I would previously have considered off-limits.

For me this changed one night when I decided to go back and re-read some of Elise Sutton's website. For the first time, I became fascinated by some of the fetish trappings of femdom that certainly did not appeal to me at the outset. I decided to go to an online retailer and make my first purchases of some clothing and toys to try and take my dominance to a new level. I was very surprised at how much I had to spend (over $1,000) to get the quality mercandise that appealed to me, but I ended up doing it nonetheless. I purchased a very erotic leather outfit for myself, a sizeable mix of restraints and harnesses for him, and most importantly, a collectoin of buttplugs and strap-on dildos of various sizes.

When the box arrived in the mail, I very intentionally did not open it. I asked my husband to open it and please clean and put away the items in the closet. I watched his reaction from another room, him unaware that I was watching. I can tell you that he did not seem disappointed. It was a Monday or a Tuesday when the items arrived, and I said nothing about them all week. It was definately the large white elephant in the room between us.

When Friday night came around, I had him make me a wonderful dinner and open a great bottle of wine. We had a nice dinner together, and after dinner, I told him to clean up and come into the bedroom when he was finished. I had a surprise for him.

When he came back into the bedroom, I was standing there wearing my new outfit. His jaw dropped. I have to admit, I think I looked pretty good (as a frame of reference, I'm often told I look like Karen on Will and Grace). I asked him to strip in front of me. I then put him in his complete leather outfit, including a blindfold. I shackled his hands behind his back and bound his legs in a leg-spreader. I then positioned him next to our bed and leaned into the bed in such a way that his mouth had access to my bottom. I put his tongue to work as I began talking to him about my plans.

I told him how much I enjoyed the way our relationship was going and that it was never going to go back to the way it had been previously. In fact, it was only going to become more intense. I would take us in that direction by deflowing him. If he had any problems with that, he could speak now and I would at least consider his request. He was silent. His tongue remained right where it had been. I then told him it wasn't enough not to protest, he had to ask me to do it. Actually what I told him was that I wanted him to tell me to make him my bitch. I very seldom swear, so this statement was a shocker to him. He replied affirmatively and enthusiastically right away.

I kept him on the floor and bent him forward on his knees. The leg spreader was still in place, so his ass was high in the air and wide open for me to lubricate and insert the smallest of the butt plugs. I walked around him and had him kiss my boots for just a few moments before I decided to replace the smaller buttplug with a larger one. This one I left in for at least thirty minutes. I left the room, enjoyed another glass of wine, and returned to find him kneeling and plugged just as I had left him.

I came back into the room and went into the closet to put on the strap-on. It was a relativey small diameter, black rubber phallus about six inches long. It was definately a begginer model. I first stood in front of him and removed his blindfold. I lifted his head so that his face was even with my waist and had him suck on the toy. My loving husband had completely yielded his will to me and it fulfilled both of us in a way that I could never have imagined.

I next walked away and lubricated the toy. I positioned myself behind my husband, removed the buttplug, and placed the tip of my shaft on his asshole. His back arched as I leaned into him. I collapsed across his back and wrapped my arms around his body as I penetrated him and removed any last vestige of his male ego. I pumped him rhythmically as I stroked his hair and placed kisses on the back of his neck.

Later that evening, we both removed all of our fetish atire and lay in bed next to each other. We held each other in our arms and kissed like we had just met. The evening had been a complete validation of the power of loving female authority.

Monday, August 01, 2005

What Brings People to Femdom Blogs

I sometimes wonder what brings most viewers to femdom blogs and femdom websites. I think that the whole point of putting intelligent and thoughtful material on the web to serve as a resource for others makes all the sense in the world. I am sure that there are many men who are interested in the conceptual notion of serving a woman and can learn from blogs such as this what it really means to live out their fantasy. I'm sure also that there are many women who have been exposed to these ideas, likely by their spouse, and want to know where this road can really lead them.

However, as I go back and review my posts, and as I think about the posts that I still intend to write, there is no question that they have a very erotic dimension. Elise Sutton's site in particular is as erotic as it is informative. The Addison's site is erotic in its own way, sort of as if it is teasing us by what it does not discuss. If my blog should ever draw a following simply for its soft-porn appeal, I hope that this is the minority of the audience. I don't mean to say that I don't want people to consider these posts erotic -- by their very nature they are just that. However, I hope that they represent a source of courage for others to walk a less inhibited path towards a true matriarchal relationshiop with their spouse.

Sexual Intercourse and After-sex Duties

I mentioned how I love sexual intercourse with my husband. It is not the only form of sexual intimacy between us, but it is one that I have no intention of abandoning. I make this point because there are many dominant women that post in forums, etc. that seem to find penetration as inconsistent with femdom marriage. I find this notion absolutely ridiculous. I am biologically tuned to enjoy sexual intercourse, and it can be such a wonderful expression of two people's love for each other. I would never imagine abandoning sex.

Not only do I enjoy sex, but I very specifically love the moment of my husband's ejaculation. Again, I think I am biologically tuned for this as well. Now this said, I very often will have intercourse with him where he is not permitted to climax -- inside me or otherwise. He knows whether or not he can complete his orgasm based on whether or not I am wearing my pinky ring that night. It is not something we discuss. I communicate my desires strictly through whether or not I wear the pinky ring.

Prior to introducing femdom into our relationship, he would roll over like dead weight after sex and be off to sleep in minutes. Now, things are quite different. If he does not climax, he is in such a state of intense arousal and submission -- subspace -- that he immediately begins kissing and licking my entire body. I very often fall asleep with his tongue dutifully worshipping my bottom as I could not possibly match is energy level and stay awake to enjoy the depths of his subspace in these instances. On nights when he does orgasm, I would run the risk of losing his submissive energy if not for the fact that he is required to perform a special and very humbling duty for me. He is made to crawl between my legs and lick every last drop of his semen from my body. I know that he enjoys it because it was my husband that initially suggested it. Now it is commonplace and I have come to enjoy it as well. Perhaps it was also a way for him to express a suppressed cuckold fantasy to me, but more on that later.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

My Pleasure is his Pleasure

The title of this post is certainly a topic that I have touched upon. It is simple and perfect and absolutely true. For my adoring husband, nothing brings him greater pleasure than the act of selflessly pleasing me.

This begins with the gratification he takes from absolving me of my domestic responsibilities. I am now a woman of leisure, my only real efforts are put towards those things that I enjoy such as working out, gardening, visiting with friends and (now) writing this blog. His job is fulfilling in a new way in that it provides us the financial means to live the lifestyle I have come accustomed to living. I control all of the income from his job, as I control everything else in our marriage.

Domestic and financial resources already focussed on my pleasure, it is a natural that he should also take great pleasure in pleasing me physically. Most every evening has me naked and laid out on a professional massage table. I am surrounded by candles and treated to soothing music of my choosing. He then practices a variety of wonderful massage techniques on me. We have a very clear understanding that I am not to be shortchanged on the massages. They never last less than one hour, at the conclusion of which, he is permitted to service me in more intimate ways.

He very often positions a pillow under my waist allowing him easy access to my bottom. He then will spend a great deal of time tonguing and licking my asshole in what I have previously described as the perfect physical metaphor for our relationship. He has confessed that this activity as much as anything else brings him into "subspace", that psychological netherworld where his submission to me overwhelms him and completely fulfills him in the way he always dreamt that it could. I will then either have him move his tongue from my ass to my clitoris so that he can focus on my orgasm, or alternatively, have him use a vibrating dildo on me while he continues to rim me. Either way, we both get exactly what we want from the evening's activities.

The Power of Managing His Orgasms

I think that perhaps the single most effective tool I have for managing the intensity of his submission to me is orgasm denial. Much has been written on this subject, but I want to make a few points which I feel have been under-emphasized in the majority of the writings I have seen on the topic.

The first point is that I very much believe that the ritual of the orgasm denial is more important than the denial itself. He must know that you are in control of his orgasms and that you are manipulating them to intensify his submission. Secondly, there must be some tangible and physical reminder of your control over his orgasm. For many, this is a chastity device such as the CB 2000, CB 3000 or the Curve. In our case, I wear a ring on the pinky finger of my left hand. If I remove the ring, he is permitted to orgasm the next time we are intimate. This is not something we discuss, it is something that goes unspoken. When I'm not wearing the ring he knows that while he will still be expected to serve me orally prior to intercourse, he also knows that he may consumate his intercourse by ejaculating inside of me . Although some dominant wives never permit this, I must admit that I absolutly LOVE this feeling. Afterwards he is expected to clean me out orally, which is a nice way of getting him right back into the submissive mindset.

Finally, he must also be teased while denied. In my case there is nothing more pleasurable than having him go down on me, orally and anally, knowing that I will receive physical pleasure, and he will not. (The rimming is particularly satisfying to me because it seems like such a wonderful metaphor for complete dominance over him. This will ultimatley be the subject of its own post.) Of course he receives a spiritual and emotional pleasure from pleasing me which no physical pleasure could ever match, but the denial of a climax on his part ALWAYS results in a deepened desire on his part to serve me.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Initial Experiences

I gave the idea of whether or not I wanted to introduce femdom into my marriage a great deal of consideration before agreeing to give it a try. There was certainly a great appeal to the idea of doing little or no housework, to having my physical pleasure becoming a priority in his life, and to ending the charade of negotiating compromises on every little decision in the home (I'd get control of that remote once and for all!). That said, I had no desire to be married to a slave. Even if our marriage wasn't perfect, I loved and respected my husband very much, and wanted nothing to change from that perspective (and rest assured, it has not).

In the earliest days of our own experience with a female led household, we definately suffered through a learning curve. For one thing, he was attempting to do too much too soon. It was a pace he simply could not maintain. Also, while I was getting everything I wanted, he wasn't getting what he needed. I was sitting back and relaxing as he did everything for me, but I wasn't making the gestures that formalize and reinforce my authority that were and still are so important to him. I needed to have that conversation that the Addison's talk about where I made it clear to him that I'm in charge and I expect him to obey me. What's more, I had to keep reinforcing the pecking order with him. He wanted to be reminded that I was in charge.

While this finally clicked with me, it created awkward consequences. Quite frankly, I felt uncomfortable with my authority. I equated his submission and my dominance not with the expressions of love for each other that they are, but rather with the a revised sense of respect for our roles in the relationship. In other words, the more I told him what to do... the less it seemed to me that he should be respecting himself.

What I have come to learn and accept is that his submission to me fulfills him in a way that nothing else can. It is a pure, intense and genuine demonstration of his love for me. Likewise, my dominance is the same for him. This new understanding has allowed me to escalate the activities in which we participate and enjoy every new stepping stone in our journey.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Welcome to My Blog

My husband and I are the happiest couple I know, but it wasn't always this way. The first ten years of our marriage were relatively happy, but they were nothing like the years that have passed since we stumbled onto the idea of loving female authority. My husband and I now share a sense of both emotional and physical intimacy that simply did not exist in our relationship when we both shared the title of "head of household" in our marriage. Both of our lives have been so dramatically improved by his surrender to my authority, that I now feel compelled to share our experience with others.

Like so many men, my husband has always know that submission to women represented at the very least a sexual turn-on for him, and at best, as he now believes whole-heartedly, the key to his happiness. His first introduction to very thoughtful discussion on this topic was Elise Sutton's http://www.femalesuperiority.com/ site. He spent a very long time reading all the advice and stories that Elise posted on her site, but still never developed the courage to approach me regarding his feelings.

One day I came into the room while he was looking at her site, and in a very awkward moment, he was forced to confess what he was reading. In his defense, not wanting to share the site with me was perfectly understandable. The Elise Sutton material was not necessarily Wife-Worship 101. While she is an amazing woman that artfully articulates the majesty of a man's submission to a woman, she also goes into advanced femdom topics that I was quite frankly in no way prepared to read. Elise deals intelligently and forthrightly with topics such as cuckolding, golden showers and strap-on- play. These are all worthy topics of discussion and the subject of future posts, but they were not exactly entry-level material for a woman that did not even realize her husband was submissive. Perhaps Lady Misato's Real Women Don't Do Housework site http://www.geocities.com/ladymisato/ would have been a better first cut at femdom, but even Lady Misato discusses strap-on-play in some detail. To my knowledge, the more vanilla sites attempting to maintream the wife-led household, of which Emily (and her husband Ken) Addison's http://www.aroundherfinger.com/ site is probably the best known, did not exist at the time.

So my introduction of my husband's submission was mostly his trying to convince me that he did not desire to be a cuckold husband, did not want to swallow my urine, and did not want me to emasculate and humiliate him with a large rubber phallus. We have since revisited his thoughts on each of these topics, but suffice it to say on that very fateful day, he was intent on convincing me first and foremost that he merely wanted to surrender his final say on household decisions to my authority, and wanted to focus his every spare bit of energy on my pleasure and happiness.

Today, we love each other and express our love for each other in ways that were never possible before. He is completely submissive to me, but other than the two of us, nobody knows it. (My name in my profile is fictitious to protect our privacy.) He does everything I expect of him including household chores, pedicures, and massages. Despite the fact that he is the primary breadwinner, I run the household finances and give him a very reasonable allowance. He never questions my authority, although he is sometimes lax in his duties. For this, I only need to firmly remind him of my expectatoins. I orgasm every time we are intimate. He is kept in male chastity so that his orgasms are carefully managed to maintain his enthusiasm and his energy level.Future posts will explore various dimensions of our relationship and pose a number of questions for discussion that I think will be interesting to the community.

To all, feel free to ask me anything and please, if you enjoy this site, make others aware of it.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005