Monday, August 15, 2005

Become a Submissive Husband

I wanted to thank everyone for all their wonderful posts and comments. I am considering all the advice that I get in regard to any future decisions that I might make, so please do not hesitate to continue posting on either the cuckolding issue or anything else of interest.

I wanted to reply to 'Quiet Guy' in my blog because he had specifically asked that I do so. Quiet Guy is typical of many men in their fifties who are now comfortable enough with who they are that they can open up (at least to themselves) about submissive feelings that they have had bottled up for years.

I am certainly no expert on how to approach your wife about your feelings, but I absolutely understand men's fear that their wives will regard the lifestyle as a bit too kinky for them. I would ordinarily recommend www.aroundherfinger.com, but in Quiet Guy's case, he had already been there and bought the book. His concern is that the idea of orgasm denial which is mentioned on the site might be over the top for his wife.

Quiet Guy, I think you absolutely wrong. Women do not understand how a man's brain chemistry is affected by an orgasm. Open up to her, write her a letter if you must, but don't live the next twent-five years of your life choking on this secret desire of yours. It will make both of you happier if you express an interest in it. Let her read the book. Get her opinion on it. Let her know that submission is an expression of love. You will grow together as a result. You belong on your knees in front of her, and she deserves your open acknowledgement of submission and obedience.

Good luck.

5 comments:

DIE! DIE! said...

I agree that some men are born submissive. I think society wants us to believe that submissive behavior is innate in women, but not men. This belief in strict gender roles ignores our individuality.

petlaura said...

Dear Ms West,
As my nick suggests, i'm a very submissive male who relates as also being transgengered and i came across your blog from the group "Wife WorshiP".
i have to say that i am now a great fan of Yourself AND Your blog, thank you.
Now to my comment.
Like Quiet Guy i am in my early 50's and have known who and what i am from a very early age. The transgendered part of my life i did NOT keep a secret from my wife of over 30 years and altho she did not accept it with open arms, tolerated it and me for which i've been eternally grateful. i might add that i told her before we married. On the other hand my submissiveness was a different matter, funnily, unlike my transgenderism, i felt quite ashamed of my submissiveness and i have no idea why. As quiet Guy mentioned there was little or no info on either Tg/Ts/Cd or D/s in those days and a "whimpy" man was even worse then than my transgenderism of which i didn't advertise either for obvious reason.i only recently admitted my submissiveness to my Wife, to which her reaction was almost calm and non-commital so i left it for a while, months in fact without any comment from either of us. i then took the bull by the horns and i wrote her a very long note confessing my inermost feelings such as you sugested to quiet guy. After a few days She merely commented on the note saying that it was probably just a phase i was going thru and that was it. That was 18 months ago and since then all i've done is pine and crave to do her bidding which i TRY to do but she pushes it all away. I'm not sure if it's because she WANTS my attention and is embarrassed about it, or that she's just plain SHY. No amount of trying will persuade her to even TALK to me about it. Every time i tried to bring up the subject only resulted in her changing the subject so i gave up.
i mention all this because all that you suggest Quiet guy do, i did but to no avail. Where do I go from there. i suspect the answer to that would be try again but i fear it will just be the same result *sigh*.
LOL, please forgive me, i really don't see you as an agony aunt, quite the opposite actually and i have great admiration for Yourself AND Your husband, he's a very lucky man and You should tell him so *smile* , i envy him greatly.

Desperately and with GREAT respect
petlaura

johnnyjohn said...

I believe that dominant wives should introduce domestic discipline in their relationship as soon as possible. My ex wife is dominant but has only spanked me once and slapped me once. We had divorced and I wish she would have simply given me an ultimatum which I would have accepted. About 15 years ago I had told her that I wanted to be submissive and obedient to her and her response was "that sounds good" but she never took control. Recently I repeated this and she has not been assertive. She is 54 and I am 51. I am partly to blame because I resisted at times. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to overcome this stalemate. She has invited me to stay with her at her house for a week or two in April. I do not want to miss the opportunity; I am ready, how can I encourage her to assert herself? Any suggestions?

grateful husband said...

My sexually superior wife and I have been married for over 35 years. From the very beginning she has known my desire for female domination. She, however, desired for me to be her master. So we played back and forth games for most of those years. Although I could play the role of her master, it never felt natural. My desire for her domination grew stronger her desire for sex (of any kind) grew weaker. She thought female domination was wierd. whips, chains, men crawling around with their balls tied up etc. She wanted no part of this. She also did not want me to be a whimpy man doing her bidding around the house as she was not a very assertive wife.

This all change after I read articles on LFA. On my last birthday, I somehow got the courage to make an open confession (which I never before verbalizd)that I felt that the female was a superior being and males were designed to be inferior and subservient...that the male penis and balls were designed to be a tool of control for woman as well as a source of their pleasure, entertainment and enjoyment. I expressed that her womanhood was designed to be dominamnt in the male /female relationship. I revealed to her that I strongly felt that I am here to serve her to make her life pleasurable...her sexual pleasure was my responsibility. That my sexual pleasure was at her discretion.

This Loving Female Authority concept WORKED. She has taken to it with great enthusiasm...too my delight and surprise. She feels that there are numerous benefits and no drawback and is normal NOT weird.

Two months later I have paid homage to her womanhood every morning and worship her breasts and vagina daily upon her demand. I have massaged her entire body and suck her toes as expected. I made an offering of my penis and balls indicating that she now owns them and they are in effect hers. She said that no one person can own another but she takes delight in being the guardian of them. As guardian, therefore giving her complete control. She determines when and where I am allowed to masterbate (she prefers and enjoys to call it my milking...it more marginalizes them)

Life is great. I am constantly asking her if these new roles are making her happy. Each time she more emphatically reaffirms my place in our relationshup and her growing power as a woman. At the beginning on my birthday she said "be careful of what you ask for". I am not exactly sure of what she meant but it can't be bad.

Suggestion to other men. Just put your inner most thoughts and feelings on the table and make sure you are not looking for something weird but just a normal loving relationship where you worship her female form and emphasize her birth right as a female that she has loving authority over you her obedient husband.

David Martin said...

Dear Ms West,
I am a male struggling to accept my desire to submit and also to have my wife dominate me.I appreciate the time you have taken to post and would like to tell you that its inspiring to me.Presently I am needing to be restrained because I am unable to remain in control when my Mistress decides to spank me and I wonder if any of your blogsters have a plan for a spanking horse or bench they might share with me. ?
Regards and be assured of my deep appreciation for your assistance.
David