Thursday, June 22, 2006

Interesting Article

Please see the following article reprinted from the ABC News website. It talks about how a woman's infidelity can strengthen a marriage. It mentions nothing even close to cuckolding, but some of the underlying dynamics that drive the ideas in this marriage are surely those same dynamics that drive the intimacy in cuckolding.

In any event, this is a very interesting article.


June 21, 2006 — Dan and Kelly Gengler got married when they were 21 and had two children early in the relationship.

At first they were happy, but postpartum depression and Dan Gengler's long workdays and preoccupation with sports caused the young couple to drift apart.

"I didn't really know who I was or had no idea who Dan was, and I felt myself starting to pull back," Kelly Gengler said. "I started seeking other ways to be emotionally fulfilled, which ended in my having an affair and leaving everything behind."

Her affair stunned Dan Gengler.

"I was angry," he said. "When I first found out about it, and I was kind of just dumbfounded."

A 2004 ABC News poll found that 15 percent of spouses had cheated at some point during their marriage. The Journal of Sex Research found that 25 percent of men and 15 percent of women had cheated.

Kelly Gengler's affair nearly destroyed her marriage. It ultimately, however, brought her closer to her husband.

"Our relationship is definitely stronger," he said. "We've learned a lot about each other and a lot about ourselves."

Kelly Gengler left her husband for six months before convincing him that they should give their marriage another chance. The two went on a retreat with other struggling couples and learned how to make their marriage work, and, most importantly, love again.

"Would I choose to go through the experience of an affair and nearly divorcing in order to become stronger in our marriage? Absolutely not," she said. "Would we be where we are without that happening? I don't think so. I fully believe we would already be divorced."

A Learning Experience

There are other well-known examples of couples who have weathered highly publicized affairs: President Clinton and Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, Bill and Camille Cosby, and Frank and Kathie Lee Gifford.

"People often do get past this and the way in which they do this is by really learning what's happening in their relationship," said psychiatrist Keith Ablow.

In a New York Times article on Tuesday, Ablow wrote that infidelity could prompt a couple to re-examine their needs and re-ignite the passion in their relationship.

"I'm not saying that you should forget," Ablow said. "What you should take away from this is that marriage is a vital enterprise. It needs to be fed constantly."

Belisa Vranich, a clinical psychologist and the sex and relationships editor for Men's Fitness magazine, says that the betrayal of infidelity is so great that most couples can't overcome it.

"Sometimes the infidelity is the last straw," Vranich said. "It's the end of the chapter."

However, Ablow says that sometimes the infidelity can lead to the second chapter of a marriage.

Both Ablow and Vranich agreed that there were some couples who should take infidelity as a sign that they should split.

"If someone is repeatedly straying and making it known to the other spouse either consciously or subconsciously and doing it in such a hurtful way, there is probably such a disregard for the feeling of the other partner," Ablow said.

"If one spouse has no interest in cooperating to make the marriage work, it probably will not work," he said.

Keith Ablow will star in a daytime TV show later this year. To learn more, visit

Thursday, June 15, 2006


When we are engaged in sex, we are conscious of certain sensual details. The feeling of hair sweeping across our cheeks, scratching against our eyelashes. The warmth of a hand on our waist, the stickiness of it pulling away from our warm body to reposition itself elsewhere. The push of your lover's exhale from their chest against yours followed instantly by his or her breath. I believe these sensual details to be at the heart of physical intimacy.

When I describe sex, it seems as if I often recount the story of two shadows making love. The positions of bodies, the start-stop of intercourse, the movements, rhythms and syncopations of two silhouettes disconnected from their other senses. If these descriptions are to inform the reader at all as to the actual events, than they are by their very nature less intimate than the experience itself. I suppose this is at it should be.

I write this because I think it is a metaphor for what my husband tried to describe for me after our dinner party concluded. He said he felt as though we were playing our parts, but there was no true intimacy amongst any of us. I agree. I think the nature of casual aquaintences congealing into sexual activity is less than just the warm kisses of my husband on my ankles when he rubs my feet. I think we reached for something bold, but instead found an experience that might have been on par with an adult film. At the time it was quite absorbing, but afterwards, there was no intensity of his submission to enjoy. Furthermore, my husband has been quite himself since the evening ended. This was very unlike our past experiences in which my nurturing was his opiate.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Our Dinner Party Continues

Maria was absolutely soaked with passion. She rolled off of me and repositioned her body so that she still straddled me, but was now up on her knees facing away from me. Then Dave stood above her on the bed so that she could return to sucking his cock. It was once again semi-hard and still glistening with our fluids. When she had brought back the life in Dave's beautiful manhood, she rolled over so that she was still on top of me, with her face above mine, her elbows on either side of me and her ass in the air above my mid-section. Dave positioned himself behind her and started fucking her. She locked her mouth onto mine in a passionate kiss. I could feel every thrust of Dave's cock reflected in her breathing, the motions of her tongue, the quiver of her lips.

She was calling out to Paul, "Are you watching this? Are you watching this stud fuck your wife?" The taunts stopped, but the fucking continued. Maria's hair was hanging loosely and bouncing about my face. I reached up and touched her breasts. She repositioned herself so that I could put them in my mouth.

After what seemed like a very long time, Dave exploded in Maria. Paul was anxious to clean Dave's seed from his wife as my husband had done for me earlier. I got back up and propped against the pillows so that Maria could rest back against me as her husband went down on her. I kissed the back of her neck and played with her breasts as she gently rubbed her husband's shoulders.

Maria asked what we should do about our husband's hard cocks. I suggested that she learn how powerful it is to leave it that way for a few days. She laughed, pulling her husband's face away from her pussy by his hair. She asked him what he thought about becoming a full-time cuckold, and he just smiled and pulled himself back to devouring her.

When Maria was satisfied, she stood up and led me to the shower. Dave joined us, and afterwards, Paul and my husband both took separate showers. We all met up in the kitchen to drink coffee and finish sobering up before our guests departed.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Dinner Was Served

Dinner was served at 8:00.

Our guests arrived at 7:00. Maria and Paul, her husband, looked wonderful and were glowing with anticipation. With them was Dave, the friend that Maria had discussed on the phone. It turned out that Dave was an old friend of Maria's whom she had known before she ever met her husband. Dave had played with Maria and Paul on several occasions in the past. He was quite good looking. He was tall and thin, and as was the case with our other guests, much younger than I and my husband.

We were all dressed in casual clothes, the men in khaki shorts or jeans, the women in shorts. My husband offered beer or wine to everyone, and we were soon drinking and making the sort of small talk that must have seemed as silly to everyone else as it did to me given what we assumed was to follow. My husband was cooking a tenderloin on the grill, and he served it at 8:00 with a creamy polenta and grilled vegetables. New bottles of wine were opened for dinner. Everyone was delighted with the meal and quite relaxed by the time desert was served. Desert was ice cream served over a warm blueberry crisp.

Maria was the first one to steer the conversation to the topic that was undoubtably on everyone's mind. She told me that Paul and Dave were quite anxious to play their roles and asked if my husband was ready as well. I explained that it was not a matter of roleplaying for my husband, he was at my disposal always. Maria smiled. She clapped her hands twice and commanded Paul to assist my husband in cleaning up the dishes. She lifted a just-opened bottle of wine off the table, picked up her glass, and then invited Dave and I to join her in the living room.

She sat next to Dave on the couch with one arm around him and one leg stretched over both of his. I sat across from them in a high-backed chair. Maria asked me if I had ever been with a woman. I had not and told her so much. Her lingering smile suggested that she was anxious to seduce me. She stood and placed her wine glass on the table beside the couch. She kept her gaze on me as she lifted her shirt above her head revealing youthful breasts. I confess that I have occasionally fantasized about the beauty of the female form, and now I was inclined to indulge this fantasy.

Maria knelt in front of me and lifted my shirt just slightly to kiss my midsection. Then she unbuttoned my shorts and pulled them down and off of my ankles. She left my red lace panties on me as she pulled my legs up and onto her shoulders. She planted soft kisses on me through the panties. I was mesmerized by this young woman. I arched my back and positioned myself lower in the chair to make myself more available to her. I opened my eyes and saw that Paul and my own husband had taken positions on either side of me. Paul extended the wine glass to me, and I took a small sip. My husband put his hand on my head and gently brushed his fingers through my hair. Then, with my eyes again closed, I felt Maria slide my panties off. I felt her warm, soft mouth between my legs. After several minutes, she pulled away and instructed the two husbands to carry me into the bedroom where they propped me upright against some pillows.

I looked up to see that Dave was standing in the room completely naked. His tall, thin form was laced with muscles and he had barely an ounce of fat on his body. His cock hung semi-hard between his legs. Maria knelt in front of him and placed his cock in her mouth. I could see his erection take shape as she wrapped her mouth around it. Then she stood behind him and placed her hand around the base of his erection. She was guiding him towards me and my waiting body. I dropped into position to receive him, and spread my legs invitingly. In an instant he was on top of me and pushing his cock inside of me. My husband kissed my forehead. I took his hand and told him to watch everything that was happening. I screamed to David to fuck me. I was an animal as his cock slammed in and out of me with no rhythm that I could decipher.

David taunted my husband. He rubbed his finger on my clit as he continued to penetrate me. He lifted his finger to my husband and asked him if he would like to taste how excited his wife was. My husband licked at David's fingers with a sweet affection that I knew belonged to me. I soon became lost in the powerful strokes of David's cock until finally, following a sustained pause in David's motions, he released his seed into my body. David pulled out and collapsed backwards on the bed.

By this time Maria had stripped off the remainder of her clothes. She pulled away the pillows against which I had been propped and climbed on top of me, positioning her pussy over my face. I tasted another woman for the first time ever. I was awash in lustful pleasure and could not even watch as my husband took his place between my legs to taste the warm potion that Dave and I had created for him. I could sense his enthusiasm as his tongue went deep into my body to swallow every drop of our fluids.

Friday, June 09, 2006

All Set

We are all set for Maria, her husband, and their friend to join us for dinner this weekend.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Dinner Guests

I spoke with "Maria", the woman to whom I had extended a dinner invitation to her and her husband, last night. She called to happily accept our invitation to dinner at our home for next Saturday evening.

I then told her that there was something she should know which might, although I certainly hoped it would not, cause her to reconsider. I explained that while we did not discuss it when we met this past weekend, my husband and I practice a female-led marriage. I described how he is completely submissive to me, and while the level to which he displays his submissiveness in front of others can be moderated in the interest of their comfort-level, certain limits are always in place. He will not, for example, be permitted to have sex with another woman.

Maria replied that this was incredibly interesting to her. Her and her husband have experimented with roleplaying, but they have taken turns in the dominant and submissive role and they turn these roles off completely outside of the bedroom. I asked her to discuss it with her husband and think about what roles they wanted to play if dinner on Saturday should turn into desert so to speak. I explained that I had cuckolded my husband in the past, but I would understand completely if Maria thought it selfish that I would have sex with her husband while she could not have sex with my own.

Maria has indicated that she will speak to her husband. One idea that she mentioned was involving yet another male friend with whom they have played in the past. This way both husbands could play the cuckold role and the additional guest could play the part of the Bull.

She has indicated she will call me later in the week with an update.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Weekend Cocktail Party

Through circmstances I prefer not to discuss, my husband and I became aware of a group in our city which can best be described as a private swingers club. The group consists of about twenty couples, about half of which might show up at any given event. We were recently invited to a party at a lake home belonging to one of the member couples which was held this past weekend. I decided that we would attend this party, but this being our first time at an event such as this, we would absolutely not -- under no circumstances -- consider playing with another couple. We were told by the guests that invited us that this would not be an issue. In fact, the common areas of the home were off-limits to any sexual activity. Any sexual activity was to take place in one of the home's four bedrooms or the very private hot tub area on the downstairs patio.

My husband and I were both incredibly nervous in driving up to the party. While we had met the one couple that invited us, we did not know them well. We had very little idea of what to expect once we showed up.

Once inside, we were pleasantly surprised. The couples that stood around the kitchen and living room area were all very "normal", (at least reasonably) attractive looking people. Most of them were younger than us, but there were at least two other couples visible that seemed to be our age. We were greeted with welcoming smiles that seemed to hide the same curiousity about us that we certainly had for them. The conversations in which we quickly found ourselves provided no evidence as to what might be happening later that evening. We talked about work, music, and any number of very ordinary subjects. We had a very simple dinner of grilled chicken which we ate buffet style on the deck overlooking the lake.

As the evening wore on and drinks continued to flow, the conversations became increasingly less ordinary, and my husband and I ended up very much the center of attention. We were the only couple at the party who had never attended an event in the past. We both failed to answer as to whether or not we had been sexually active outside of our marriage, and apart from my husband's normally very high attentiveness to my needs, there was no overt indication of his submission to me.

As the evening continued, one younger couple was extremely attentive to the two of us. The woman asked my husband to walk out to the lake with her, but he declined. The husband sat very close to me and had his arms around me for much of the night. They finally asked us outright if we weren't up for spending some private time with them, but I explained that we had made a very serious commitment to looking and not touching at this initial party. I asked, however, if they would consider a dinner invitation from us. They replied eagerly that they would. With that, we told them we would call them this week and encouraged them to find some others with whom to spend the rest of the evening. Shortly afterwards we found the host for the party, thanked him very much -- assured him we would be more fun at the next party -- and went home. Needless to say, my husband spent some quality time between my legs that evening.

I called the couple and left a message for them this morning. On the message I asked if they would be available for dinner next weekend.

Thursday, June 01, 2006


I take my privacy very seriously, and I am becoming quite paranoid at the level of effort that others are putting into "outing" me. I assure you that I am quite real, and I am very intent on remaining anonymous. I have taken and will continue to take steps to disguise my identity.

My husband and I are still together. We are still practicing a female-led marriage. I continue to keep all my options open as to how I control my husband, and these options certainly include cuckolding.

My absence can be explained, in part, by a very serious offer that I have from a large adult web business that wants to leverage the community that is building around this blog to produce a commercial entity. After serious discussions, we have put the plan on hold. However, I remain open to this issue so long as my privacy and my husband's privacy can be protected and that the tone and direction of the web content advances the cause of matriarchy. I will not merely play to the lowest common denominator of male sexual exploitation, but I have something to offer and may one day turn my passion into commerce.

I extend my thanks to all that have emailed me expressing concern and gratitude for this site. I certainly plan to continue posting.