Friday, August 12, 2005

Cuckolding on Hold

While I have yet to tell my husband (for whom this blog remains off limits), I have decided to put the cuckolding experiment on hold. When I next email my ex-fiance, I will tell him I just wanted to give him something to think about and that I will reach back out to him when I am ready to discuss my web site suggestions further.

One very liberating thought is that the decision of whether or not to cuckold my husband remains mine to make. I am the final authority in my home, and I know that for my husband, it is an intense reminder of his submission to me that I am only an impulse away from taking another man as my lover. I think that the very idea that I can and might still cuckold him may have nearly the same impact with none of the emotional risk of actual intercourse with another man..

My sincere thanks to those that have posted on the topic. Rest assured that I will continue to post, but will find other areas of our relationship with which to detail for readers. Also, please know that I am available for questions and topic suggestions if you will only post to let me know your areas of interest.


Quiet guy said...

HI and thanks for sharing your current situation with us. I certainly respect your decision and look forward to hearing how things progress, but for now I think slowing down is a wise choice, particularly if it feels right for you.

You very graciously offerred to address comments from others and, if you don't mind, I'd like to ask your opinion on my situation.

I'm a male in my mid 50's and have been married to the same woman for over 30 years. I have known that I have submissive tendencies since I was a teenager, but quite frankly, back in those days, we didn't have the resources to learn about things that we (fortunately) do today. So I basically squelched my submissive feelings and led a 'normal' life.

My wife by nature is a "Controlling" person, although she wouldn't say so. Over the years I would say that I've done about 10 to 20 percent of the household chores (at most)and she has done the rest. Why? Well bcause, she needed things done, 'just so' and after a while I took the attitude of 'well if she doesn't like the way I am doing it -- let her do it herself'. And so things developed that way.

And we argued.

Yes, we argued about everything.

This would seem to be a paradox that I would be so bull-headed stubborn, if after all I am a submissive, you would think I would just give in to her, but I didn't. So I was pretty unhappy (I still am I guess).

The kids seem to be pretty much grown and out of the house (but they seem to keep coming back, lol) and I think for once and for all I'd like to address my submissivnes with her as we`enter this next phase of our lives (Kid-less)

I think she'll freak out if I don't phrase it just right.

I went to the Around Her Finger web site and bought & read the book.

I was impressed that the book never uses the words "Submissive" or "Dominant" at all.

I am not sure that my wife will go for the orgasm denial part, as she is very vanilla and might seem kinky to her(and at 50-something, there really isn't much in the way of orgasms to deny - lol).

About two weeks ago I told her that I have had it with all of the arguing and proposed an idea. I suggested that we try this for 3 months (Until about November 1st ,I said). I told her that I had done some soul searching and that in looking back over the years at least 90% of all of the arguments were my fault and could have been avoided or ended quickly (we would argue for days at a time) if I had been less stubborn.

So my suggestion to her was that for the next three months I owuld agree that she would be right with whatever disagreements we had.

I was ready for all sorts of rejection and being called a wimp, but all I got was an "OK I like that idea".

So two weeks later, we haven't argued (which is something of a rarity, but no world's record). Of course she has no idea what I am doing and nothing else has developed.

I hope you don't mind my writing and if you have any thoughts, I'd be glad to hear them. Also I have some ideas on how to progress from here, if you don't mind I'd like to bounce then off you also.

Thanks again.

Anonymous User said...

I've been tossing the same ideas around since last December - re cuckolding my submissive husband. Candidates came and went - prospective "bulls" as you say that I either lost interest in or whatever.
My thinking is to start off without doing anything that "can't be undone" - the talking part is the first and safest step. Flirting is the second. Actually having a date would be a third and much bigger step - from that point I could assess how I feel about taking fantasy into reality, and also how my husband reacts to it and how our marriage seems affected. A date would most likely involve at least some good night kissing, and I am most comfortable having the date without my husband present or I doubt I'd be able to act naturally or feel the chemistry.
As to taking the next step - dating to the point of having sex - if it ever got there I think it would again be private - and to have sex in front of my husband would be the final frontier.
I had a lot of warnings and nay sayers when I wrote of this on another blog - as you did - but why not see how you feel in the shallow waters (just a date) - it's not dangerous and can give you and your husband a better sense of where it might take you.

Dirk said...

I think you've made a wise decision, to not do what cannot be undone. One of my concerns for you was that while it seemed like cuckolding had strong appeal to you, it wasn't at all clear that it had strong appeal for your husband. Have you both stepped out of your D/S roles long enough to discuss what it would mean? I agree with you that the very words my wife speaks to me have such delicious power, that the actual acts she describes are not necessarily required to have her desired effect.
I'm curious, how long have you and your husband been practicing a dominance/submission lifestyle? Reading your posts, I think it's been a while, but I'm not certain how much time has elapsed.
During that time, what avenues have you explored together?

elslav555 said...

hi all
a lil mind teaser, we all understand that we deal with humans, with emotions, humans that naturaly changed, have mid age crisese, in short term, what you and your husband feel now, isnt neccerly what you feel or think in the future, we allways change.
now lets face it, going out on a date? what is the goal? do you really assume that the one"bull" you will date will stop at that? what if he falls in love with you? what if the bull (that allways score, will need to prove he is a bull... see even the bull is human, just as you are.
this is a game with fire, i say leave it in the fantasy world, dont play with emotions.