Sunday, August 28, 2005

Instructions for my Male Readers

For the most part, people are not stumbling across sites that preach the virtues of loving female authority. Most of the people that come to sites like this do so because they have an active interest in the topic.

I think that the best way to generate awareness and enthusiasm for wife-led households is to push for mentions of the topic in general audience media outlets. Send letters and emails to magazines, post on forums related to marriage advice, call your local radio talk shows. Do anything that allows people that are completely unaware of femdom marriages to hear about the topic. You can mention your favorite sites if you want, but just mentioning the subject in general will at least make people aware of the fact that sites like this even exist. People can then do their own research with a search engine if they wish.

Male visitors to this blog are encouraged to reach out to the media at least once a month with some sort of plea to cover this topic. Please post comments against this post to indicate what you are doing to honor this request and what, if any, response you might get. If you send emails to sites, include a copy of the email and the address to which you sent it in your post. The Around Her Finger Movement begins with individuals just like yourselves.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

The Missing Link of Loving Female Authority

Men have definately accounted for the majority of individuals that have commented on this site. This is no accident. I am absolutely sure that there are countless more men than women that know they are interested in female dominaiton as a lifestyle. I think that dominant women are generally content to be so without analyzing and fantasizing about it. Submissive men, however, have a near obsession with it and seek forums such as this for kindred souls and genuine advice for developing a femdom dynamic in their own relationships.

The real irony is that women could more easily benefit from forums such as this because the message to potential dominant wives is so simple and easily understood. They need only understand the "great missing link" of loving female authority. That missing link is that it is not enough for men to submit to a woman. They need her to acknowledge his submission and communicate their dominance over him. Men are willing to serve any woman that actively dominates him for as long as it pleases her. They can only serve in secret for so long. I think this is the central message of the Around Her Finger movement.

Friday, August 26, 2005

The Politics of Femdom

I have heard the growing consciousness of male interest in loving female authority described as the Around Her Finger Movement. It is an interesting term as it is easily and quickly described and has the convenient follow on monicker that men are happiest when wrapped around the finger of the woman they love. The purpose of this post, however, is to explore how a man's submissive nature translates into a political disposition and a broader political movement.

My husband and I are both basically libertarians. We are socially liberal and economically conservative. In the voting booth that has generally translated into me voting Democrat and my husband voting Republican. There is no question that my husband would cast his vote however I tell him, but I also have no desire to rob him of this right. What will be interesting is how he will vote if Hillary is running against a man. I asked him what he would do in this situation and he was genuinely undecided. Frankly we would both be scared by the threat to our rights by someone as liberal as Hillary in office, but I for one know that I will vote for her. I like the way matriarchy works in my own home and I want to see it expanded in society in general. I suspect that he does as well.

I welcome your thoughts on this topic. However... I have one caveat. While I shared my own political views to set up my story, I am not interested in arguing politics on this site. You are of course welcome to share your own views to introduce your comments, but men especially, don't dare challenge my conclusions regarding politics. I will delete your posts at once. If you want to argue politics go to Little Green Footballs or one of the countless blogs devoted to general political discussion.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Pushing Him

One thing that becomes evident as a wife-led relationship progresses is that his work in completing routine chores does not provide him the same endorphin rush that it did in the beginning. Submission is an all encompassing relationship dynamic, but after years of doing my laundry (for example), I am certain that ironing my blouses does not have the same sexual edge it once did. In one very real sense this is irrelevant. He will do my personal bidding as I see fit regardless of the pleasure he takes from it. In another sense, however, I am obligated to continue to stimulate his submission simply because I love him and I want to see him take pleasure from his service.

I am constantly showering him with reminders of my control in the relationship. Sexual teasing during the day and erotic activities in the evening go a very long way in keeping him motivated. However, at least one visitor to this blog implied in his post that my interest in cuckolding my husband represents another step in intensifying my domination over him -- a step I take only because I am becoming bored with all the steps we have taken so far. I wondered if perhaps there was some truth to this. Cuckolding would probably be the last step I would ever take, and I hate to think that I go there because I am addicted to intensifying my relationship. This would mean that after cuckolding there would be nothing else left to explore.

After much thought I have decided that this is not the case. I am not on a linear path in my relationship with my husband that would ultimately have an end-game. I am in a relationship with my husband that was wonderful before femdom, and will be wonderful if we do or do not explore activities that we have so far avoided.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

An Obvious Purchase

If you have ever had a massage in an upscale spa, you know that they typically offer no comparison to what most husbands, submissive or otherwise, might offer at home. I want to share with you some of the elements of the home massages that my husband gives me that make them a truly escapist experience.

To begin with, he purchased a moderately priced massage table off the internet. The entry-level models range in price from $250 to $500. Be certain to get one that has an extended head-rest and that can support the combined weight of the two of you. The same online stores that sell these also sell massage aromatherapy equipment, massage stones and warmers, linens, etc. Be sure to purchase the massage oil in quantity. Another thing that separate the home massage from the spa massage is the quantity of oil or creme that they use in the massage. Do not let him be stingy. Have him use a generous amount of the oil and spend a lot of time on each muscle area working it in.

Also, setting the mood is important. We do our massages in a loft area off of our den so that we do not constantly have to set up and break down. We have about fifteen candles, a cd player that plays custom mixes that I put together (lasting about an hour each), an aromatherapy vaporizer, and towels, linens, etc.

I tell him to go set up the massage and he runs up to get it ready before I go up. When I come up, it is in nothing but a robe. He is waiting next to the table, candles lit and music playing, on his knees completely naked. I lay down on the table as I would at a spa, except for the fact that I place a small pillow below my hips so that as the massage comes to a conclusion, he will have better access to my anus and vagina for oral service. He covers me with a sheet and proceeds to massage one part of my body at a time until the CD comes to a conclusion. Then, and only then, do I allow him permission to go down on me from behind. This lasts for about another twenty minutes until I decide how I want our intimacy to conclude for the evening.

We have been doing this -- I would estimate -- three to five times a week for over two years. Therefore I look at the several hundred dollar investment in the massage table as pennies given the value it represents. By my rough math, my average cost per massage to date is below $1.00 per instance. A massage at the high end spas in my own area cost over $100 per hour and they don't include the twenty minutes of delightful tongue dancing on my bottom!

For men that are already living in femdom marriages, buying this table is a duty. For those that want to nurture their wife's dominance, I would say there could be no better first step than this.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

My Husband's Views on Cuckolding

Quite a number of the comments posted by viewers of this site have appropriately urged caution concerning any plans I might have to cuckold my husband. My husband and I had a lengthy and candid conversatoin on this topic last night, and I thought I would post some of his thoughts here on the blog.

He confesses that cuckolding scares him to death. Just as I have confided in all of you that he is the most important person in my life, I am also the most important person in his. Any cuckolding experience holds the potential to unleash emotional energy beyond what we can imagine going into it. Also, the idea of me developing an attachment to my new lover that transcends mere physical pleasure is not something either one of us would want to happen. This is a very real fear for him.

So between the two of us, we share a mutual knowledge that cuckolding is dangerous. We also,however, share a mutual understanding that it is incredibly powerful. He knows that there is nothing that will more acutely stimulate his submission than to assist me as I am taken by another man. He described his fantasies to me in this regard with great detail. Whether or not I ever go through with it, I absolutely must leave open the possibility that I will. We both need to know, for our own reasons, that I am the sovereign in our marriage. My limits are my limits, but his limits are whatever I decide that they are.

Last night, after our conversation, I took him with my strap-on with an intensity I seldom have brought to our lovemaking. I ultimately collapsed on his body in exhaustion. I saw afterwards that he was crying. I kissed his tears then ordered him to sleep on the floor at the foot of my bed.

Monday, August 22, 2005

My Husband's Role in this Blog

When I first started this blog, my husband was among the first to read every post. It was only when I began to plot out the details of my cuckolding plan that I restricted him from viewing this blog. He is once again reading these posts.

To my husband, this blog is a mechanism for appealing to his desire to be publicly outed as a submissive without the consequences of our family and friends having access to the intimate details of our personal life. I think that many submissive men want the world to know that they serve their wife, but also recognize that the world immediately around them may not be quite ready for that reality.

I may again decide to take another look at cuckolding. If I do, I will likely think of another way of sharing the details of my intentions outside of this blog yet still involve the growing community of readers interested in our relationship. The idea of having a large number of strangers knowing more about my intentions than my husband has a great appeal to me -- despite what anyone else might feel about it.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

For Those Who Find this Site Objectionable

I received a very respectful, but disapproving post that was critical of the relationship that I have with my husband.

I understand that many, even most, people that would happen across this blog would be quite shocked by the nature of our wife-led household. My most sincere regret, however, is that anyone's initial introduction to loving female authority come from this blog. While many men that have been suppressing their inner desire to submit to women might immediately realize what wife worship has to offer them from reading through these posts, many other men and certainly most women would consider the advanced nature of my own relationship as much too extreme.

As I have done in previous posts, I encourage anyone reading this blog to go and read through the Addison's site. They describe a much more genteel approach to loving female authority that I do here. Nobody that reads through their site with an open mind could deny that their approach is both realistic and satisfying for all those that choose to embrace it.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Are All Women Candidates for Wife-led Marriages?

Clearly there are some women for whom cultural, religous and even psychological reasons are going to be extremely reluctant to embrace what loving female authority can offer them. Maybe there are some women that will never embrace their dominant side. However, I honestly believe that most women can be coaxed into assuming a position of more authority in their home and, over time, can become more dominant. They may not have their husbands kneeling in front of them while they pee in your mouth, but they can and will get used to the idea of telling them what they expect and want.

In a recent comment to one of my posts 'Quiet Guy' complains that his wife refuse to believe that he'll start doing more housework. Well, Quiet Guy, prove it to her. Get up at 4:00 a.m. and have it done before she's out of bed if that's what it takes. Submission is very serious business. It is not a game. Until she's received her 52nd foot rub from you, until you've made some token confession of your submission, until you have made every effort to prove to her that you are there to serve her, then don't give up.

You belong kneeling at her feet, and she deserves to dominate you. Take your seduction of her dominant nature as seriously as you take your fantasies of sexual submission.

Mainstreaming the Wife-led Household

I would imagine that the community of couples participating in relationships where both woman and man openly acknowledge her dominance is very small. I would be relatively certain that it is fewer than 5,000 households, maybe fewer than 1,000 (please challenge me on this if you have evidence to the contrary). However, I believe that the number of households is enormous where 1) the man is a closet submissive and would LOVE to be controlled by his wife, and 2) the wife would be open to the idea if it were appropriately presented to her.

I am certain that this blog is not particularly helpful to drive a movement of mainstreaming the femdom relationship. I have already crossed barriers in sharing my own experiences that detract from the poignancy of an initial introduction.

I think the two key selling points for a woman are that first and foremost, submission is an expression of a man's love for his wife. Men have trouble expressing themselves. My husband's submission to me is love just as my nurturing of his submission is also love. The second selling point is that it will make a woman's life more comfortable. He works hard to keep me happy. In doing so, it makes him happy. Incidentlally, his happiness is not beside the point.

I have rambled even though I try to avoid doing so in this blog. Anyone that chooses to build on these points and/or can offer suggestions for mainstreaming femdom, please do so.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Sometimes Even a Dominant Wife Likes to Be Taken

I am dominant and my husband is submissive. That will never change. I have become much too comfortable with the benefits of my authority in the home to ever go back, and he receives so much deeply felt gratification and satisfaction from his service to me that I am almost convinced it is his innate nature.

From a physical intimacy perspective, my greatest physical pleasure comes from prolonged oral service followed by penetrative intercourse. For reasons I have already discussed, I do not always permit him intercourse, and when I do, I do not always permit him an orgasm. When we do have intercouse, it is always with my express permission and his cock always enters my body with great reverence. His strokes are measured and mechanical, having been coached by me as to what pace makes me receive the most pleasure.

That said, there is still a part of me that just wants to be ravaged. I want something other than the obedient tongue and even-tempo of a cock that follows my orders. Can a dominant woman be ravaged by her submissive husband? Will this upset the domestic applecart? I don't know.

It definately puts the idea (and just the idea) of cuckolding back into my mind.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Become a Submissive Husband

I wanted to thank everyone for all their wonderful posts and comments. I am considering all the advice that I get in regard to any future decisions that I might make, so please do not hesitate to continue posting on either the cuckolding issue or anything else of interest.

I wanted to reply to 'Quiet Guy' in my blog because he had specifically asked that I do so. Quiet Guy is typical of many men in their fifties who are now comfortable enough with who they are that they can open up (at least to themselves) about submissive feelings that they have had bottled up for years.

I am certainly no expert on how to approach your wife about your feelings, but I absolutely understand men's fear that their wives will regard the lifestyle as a bit too kinky for them. I would ordinarily recommend, but in Quiet Guy's case, he had already been there and bought the book. His concern is that the idea of orgasm denial which is mentioned on the site might be over the top for his wife.

Quiet Guy, I think you absolutely wrong. Women do not understand how a man's brain chemistry is affected by an orgasm. Open up to her, write her a letter if you must, but don't live the next twent-five years of your life choking on this secret desire of yours. It will make both of you happier if you express an interest in it. Let her read the book. Get her opinion on it. Let her know that submission is an expression of love. You will grow together as a result. You belong on your knees in front of her, and she deserves your open acknowledgement of submission and obedience.

Good luck.

Friday, August 12, 2005

What Creates a Submissive Man?

I think there are many theories as to why men become submissive, but little evidence beyond anecdotal accounts.

I think the standard explanation of men who have great responsibilities at work and merely want to relinquish control to another is pure poppycock. There are many submissive men that do not have high-powered careers, yet still crave loving female authority. Also, there are many very succesful men that are overwhelmed by responsibility, yet have not the slightest notion of taking pleasure from a woman that takes them with a strap-on.

My own husband describes how he was aware of his submission very early in his life, even before he reached the age of puberty. This would tend to support the idea that submission is innate in some men. This may be the case, and the idea that it is the natural evolution of human gender relationships taking shape has incredible appeal to me. However, I have seen nothing that would tend to prove this through empirical data. Maybe it cannot be proven through empirical data.

I welcome your thoughts and would really welcome evidence to support them.

Academic Research on Male Submission

I have tried but failed to find some quantitative account of how many men fantasize about being dominated by a woman. I thought with all of the Universities offering degrees in human sexuality, that there must certainly be some academic study ranking male sexual fantasies. I cannot find anything reliable and documented that does so.

If you are aware of any serious research on this topic and can post links to where it can be found, please post them here.

Cuckolding on Hold

While I have yet to tell my husband (for whom this blog remains off limits), I have decided to put the cuckolding experiment on hold. When I next email my ex-fiance, I will tell him I just wanted to give him something to think about and that I will reach back out to him when I am ready to discuss my web site suggestions further.

One very liberating thought is that the decision of whether or not to cuckold my husband remains mine to make. I am the final authority in my home, and I know that for my husband, it is an intense reminder of his submission to me that I am only an impulse away from taking another man as my lover. I think that the very idea that I can and might still cuckold him may have nearly the same impact with none of the emotional risk of actual intercourse with another man..

My sincere thanks to those that have posted on the topic. Rest assured that I will continue to post, but will find other areas of our relationship with which to detail for readers. Also, please know that I am available for questions and topic suggestions if you will only post to let me know your areas of interest.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Second Thoughts

I got a posting from 'Dirk' that really hit a nerve. He's encouraging me not to play with fire and to put the cuckolding plans on indefinate hold. I think he may be right. Please, please will anyone that has experience or thoughts on this topic please weigh in with your comments. I'm already resolved to slow down.

I just need to give this more time and think about it since once done, I can never undo it.

Cuckolding Plans: So Far So Good

My ex-fiance (and current candidate for a lover with whom I plan on cuckolding my husband), responded to my email in which I asked for his feedback on the Around Her Finger site. This site is the most tame of the femdom sites on the web and is really more of a non-threatening introduction -- sort of a seduction -- to loving female authority than it is anything else. It does not mention cuckolding. I sent it to him only to see if even the notion of a female-led household was too much for him to handle.

To my surprise and delight he wrote me back an email saying that the site appealed to him in a way he never could have imagined. He said that he has been excited by dominant women his entire life, but had never pursued a relationship like this because he thought they didn't exist. He thought, like many people, that domination and submission is all about whips and chains.

His reaction was almost too accepting. I merely wanted to check that he would not be put off by the nature of my relationship with my husband. I do not want another submissive lover. With my husband, I have a submissive man in my life already. I want my ex-fiance to come in and play the part of the alpha male in order to intensify the bond my husband and I already have. In the end, this is not about my ex-fiance, it is not about me or my husband individually, it is about my husband and I together.

In his email response, he wanted to know where I was going with all of this. I told him I am not quite ready to let him know. I sent him another link, this one Elise Sutton's site, and have asked for his feedback on her site as well.

I will keep everyone updated. Thank you for all the emails of support.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Testing the Waters with My "Bull"

I have heard the term "bull" used to refer to the lover that a woman chooses to take when she cuckolds her husband. It's somewhat crass, but it will work. Eventually I need to come up with a pseudonym with which to refer to him on this blog. I'm open to suggestions.

I received one comment (thank you, 'quiet guy') which brought up an interesting point. While a wife-led household is new to me, a latent dominant personality is not. I suppose that my ex-fiance might have recognized this quality in me and would not be surprised to learn that I have taken it to a new level. I decided it was time to take somewhat of my first gamble with him.

Last night, with my husband kneeling in front of me and giving me a foot rub, I again called my ex-fiance. We had a very pleasant, and incredibly flirtatious chat. Towards the end of the call I asked him his email address as I had something on which I wanted his opinion. (I had my husband scuttle into the kitchen to get a pad and paper on which to write it down. He's helping me already!)

This morning I have sent him the link to the Around Her Finger site. I'll first get his feedback on this site and then confess that my husband and I live in a wife-led household. Based on his reaction, I'll next send him to Elise Sutton's site. Assuming an open mind after reading her site, who knows what I'll do next. I'll definately talk to him honestly about what I would like to do. I might even send him to this blog and let him put two and two together. Imagine his surprise when my ex-fiance figures out that he is my current bull-in-waiting!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Pedicures from my Husband

Sorry... no cuckolding updates today. There are so many other aspects of our lifestyle on which to comment, however, that I will never be without something to say.

I seem to be one of the few dominant wives on-line that does not receive pedicures and manicures from my husband. Realistically, he is just not equipped to do a professional job. For one, the nail salons have those wonderful foot baths for which the home versions just do not do justice. Secondly, there is definately a skill to doing the nails, and it is one for which I have lost patience being my husband's test patient.

I love to have him kiss and lick my feet, and I love foot massages. But at least in our home, he does not do my nails. This is a treat that I continue to receive outside of the home.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Moving Forward

I have told my husband that I want him off the computer until further notice. I intend to discuss more about my plans on line than I care for him to know in advance.

I called my ex-fiance today and had a "long-time-no-talk" sort of call. While I was a little flirty, I definately did not tip my hat as to my intentions. I mentioned to him that I would be in his city next month and if it were convenient we should catch up over dinner. He agreed that given a couple of weeks notice he would love to catch up with me.

I'm now getting a little nervous over the whole thing. I don't just mean the implications on my relationship with my husband, but also the fact that I will be outing the femdom nature of my marriage to someone with whom I have a very strong past and with whom I still share many personal friends and acquaintences. I suppose I need to let him know. I welcome any and all input on how to proceed with him.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Cuckold Teasing Last Night

Last night my husband's tongue was nestled between the cheeks of my bottom, kissing and rimming me as I lay stretched out on our bed. I began discussing with him some of my thoughts on cuckolding.

I told him that I was thinking more and more about it lately. I told him that I am very open to his input on the matter, but ultimately, it will be my decision and my decision alone. It is my perogative as a woman to seek sexual pleasure in whatever way I choose. I told him that it would be good for him to realize that he is not my only option for physical pleasure. I also explained that should I decide to pursue cuckolding him, I will expect his support and cooperation.

He will help me to make arrangements for the evening. He will help to pick out my outfit and dress me for my lover. If asked, he will cook us dinner, serve us drinks -- do anything really that might make us more comfortable. I asked him if he wished to be in the room for the event. He responded that he wasn't certain. I told him that I also was not certain, and it would most likely be left up to my lover and whether or not he was comfortable with the idea. I told him that I would probably prefer he be in the room. I like the idea of my husband actually helping in the process in some way. I have read stories about men who guide their lovers cock into their wives the first time that they are taken. I know this would bring my husband into subspace and this idea really appeals to me.

Within the next week I will be contacting my old fiance and running this idea by him. I told my husband as much last night.

My Husband Refers to Me by my Name

I received an email from a submissive man that had visited the blog. He wanted to know if my husband called me Mistress, Goddess or something indicative of my position in the home.

I prefer to be called by name. I undertand that some women prefer a term of authority, but as I have said before, my husband is first and foremost just that -- my husband. The majority of our interactions are quite vanilla. I suppose we could use a name during periods of service or intense domination, but I prefer not to do so.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Interactive Cuckolding

I am loving the fact that I have this blog as an outlet as I go through the process of deciding if, when and how to cuckold my husband. Sharing my thoughts with a web community brings more spectators into the event and will contribute to the experience for both of us. Please, please send comments and suggestions that you feel would be helpful to the process. If you post comments on the blog, I only ask that they be in good taste and consistent with the spirit of what I am trying to accomplish.

I feel like I have taken my own wife-led household from a style to a style and have enjoyed every step of the way.

Cuckolding Candidates

Last night we had what might best be termed a "hypothetical" discussion relative to cuckolding. I asked him to help me come up with some ideas of who I might choose as my lover if I decided to go through with it.

I teasingly suggested a friend of his with whom he plays softball. He is very good looking and single (although he has a girlfriend). I told my husband that this friend has an incredible body and would probably make a wonderful lover. My husband was kneeling in front of me completely naked at the time and giving me a foot rub. This afforded me the opportunity to look down and see his cock getting hard as we talked about his friend. At the same time, I sensed that he might be sufficiently concerned about the impact of this fantasy beyond the bedroom, so I have more or less written this man off as a fantasy scenario.

My husband remained mute as to suggestions, so I continued with more of my own. He had a boss at an old job that he absolutely could not stand. He was a little older than us, but reasonably good looking, and he definately considered himself a ladies man. Although I never told my husband, this man had hit on me several times. He had constantly treated my husband disrespectfully, and my husband definately left that job on poor terms with this man. I looked down to see that my husband's cock remained very hard while I discussed this idea. I'm sure that the element of humiliation would have been absolutely maximized if I chose this man, but I am also sure that there would be more emotional baggage than I am prepared to deal with at this stage.

Then, to my surprise, he suggested a man that I was once engaged to before the two of us met. Our break-up had been amicable, and we kept each other on our Christmas card list. He had also gotten married after our break-up, but was now divorced. He lives in another city, which has many benefits for a plan such as the one we are in the process of hatching. I feel like I could trust him completely and that he would be willing to play whatever role I ultimately decide is best for my husband (i.e. the detached lover, the "alpha male" that contributes to my husband's humiliation with verbal taunting, etc.).

While I have not yet told my husband, my mind is made up. If I decide to pursue cuckolding, which is looking more and more likely, it will be with my old fiance.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Public Displays of Submission

I am definately of the mindset that my husband's submission to me is a private matter. Our families and friends know only that he is respectful and extremely devoted to me. They do not know, nor do I wish them to know, that in our home he obeys my every command and has surrendered himself to my authority.

That said, we are both excited about the occasional moments where it becomes clear to strangers just who is in control in our relationship. When we are at restaurants that are not near our home, I have ordered for both of us. Once when the waiter handed the bill to my husband, I let him know that I was offended by the gesture. I told him that he should assume that men and women should share the power in a marriage and that the check should be placed between the two of us. When he apologized and moved to place the check between us, I reached forward and took it from his hand. I told him that in our marriage, we do not share the power, and he could go ahead and hand it to me. When we got home, my husband and I were both so excited that he could not wait to begin servicing me.

We have had other experiences which had a similar effect on us. One time we had agreed to meet after his work in a bar near a venue where we were going to see a concert. An attractive couple, much younger than he and I, were seated at the bar next to me, and we ended up in a pleasant conversation. Without outright detailing the nature of my relationship with my husband, I made it very clear to them that the secret of happiness in our marriage was the fact that he understood that I was the one in charge. When my husband finally arrived, I introduced him to the couple and explained to him, right in front of them, that I had just told them we had a mutual understanding that I wore the pants in our marriage. He blushed and seemed a little uncomfortable. I then asked him to hold my purse as I was afraid something might get spilled on it if it remained at the bar. As any woman knows, holding a purse is considered a mark of complete humiliation for the more barbaric men amongst us. My husband, however, dutifully held me purse while we continued to make pleasant small talk with this couple for another twenty minutes.

Early Thoughts on Cuckolding

The very first time that cuckolding was ever mentioned between my husband and me was when I first discovered him pouring over the Elise Sutton site. Recall from earlier posts that he adamently denied any interest in cuckolding. However, trecall that he also denied any interest in strap-on play and golden showers. We all know where those denials took us.

Even long into the development of the femdom aspects of our marriage, I never really considered cuckolding. It just seemed, and still seems, too psychologically intense and way too emotionally risky to really consider. You must realize that my marriage with my husband is the most important thing in my life. While I only write about the femdom aspects of that marriage on this blog, the overwhelming amount of time that we spend together is spent enjoying each others company in the way any vanilla husband and wife would do so. Loving female authority is an aspect of my marriage, but it is not my entire marriage.

Earlier posts have talked about the way that I have my husband go down on me after he ejaculates inside me. I have aluded to the fact that his enthusiasm for this activity is enough to raise my suspicions that he may indeed have some fantasies, conscious or otherwise, of being cuckolded by me. One night very recently we had intercourse. As always, he positioned his face between my legs to begin his required task. His semen was already leaking out from between my legs and I could feel his tongue begin by collecting the tiny pool that had dripped down to my anus. He then proceeded to the very deep strokes of his tongue inside my vagina that give evidence to his affinity for this task. While I usually lay back with my eyes closed to enjoy this moment, on this night, I looked down to seem him playing with his own cock. It was not quite hard, but it was on its way to being so -- and this within minutes of having already orgasmed.

Quite out of character, I asked him if he had ever fantasized that it was another man's seed that he was licking from between my legs. After quite a pause, he answered that no, he had not. However, I knew at this moment that the hesitation in his voice provided very strong evidence that he was in fact fantasizing about being cuckolded at that very moment. I told him that one day it might be another man's semen between my legs and that he should give some thought to how he would feel about it.

Nothing else was said that night between us. I know that my own mind was racing with ideas. I'm sure his was as well. For the first time I knew that I at least wanted to explore the possibility of cuckolding him. I had crossed so many other barriers, why not consider one more. Over the next few weeks, you will continue to see posts related to this topic as I continue to think more about how I might want to proceed. Your feedback is certainly welcome so long as it is thoughtful and respectful.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

What I Learned About Golden Showers

In much the same way that I knew I wanted to incorporate strap-on play into our marriage, I also knew that before long I wanted to have him kneeling in front of me and let me pee in his mouth. I can't explain why the thought of this turned me on as much as it did, but I could not wait to try it.

One morning I was walking into the bathroom when I noticed him getting ready to get into the shower. I told him to go ahead and get in the shower (the water was not yet on) and get on his knees. I was wearing what I had worn to bed, a long t-shirt and panties. I stepped into the shower with him and took a seat on the little teak bench that we have in there. I had him remove my panties and face me. I lifted my legs onto his shoulders and positioned his mouth between my legs.

I asked him if he had ever thought about golden showers. He said he had and in fact it turned him on. I told him I was going to pee in his mouth and I expected him to swallow every drop. I then released a long, strong stream into his mouth. To both of our surprise, he gagged on my nectar as he tried to swallow it. He swallowed what was left in his mouth, but most of it splashed onto his face and down his chest. He said he just wasn't prepared for the warmth, the saltiness, and the strong taste of urine and he reacted negatively to it.

Afterwards, I tried to do some research on the web. I couldn't find anything that made me believe that this was a common reaction. All of the golden shower stories I could find had the submissive men lovingly and adoringly swallowing the golden shower as if they could not get enough of it. I finally sent some emails to some professional dominants that offered golden showers as a service. I asked if they had ever seen anything like what happened to my husband and me. I was relieved when two women responded and both indicated that my experience was an incredibly common reaction. Most men, and the overwhelming majority of first-time GS recipients, cannot handle the unexpected intensity of this activity.

One of the women offered me some advice. She said that at least at first, I should consider watering down the intensity of my urine by drinking a great deal of water before a GS. My morning pee would have been incredibly intense and was hardly for the beginner. Secondly, she said that I should allow him to work up to a streaming golden shower by first providing him opportunities to drink my urine at his own pace. She also told me that she felt it was important that I not walk away from this activity. While it sounded melodramatic when she said it, and moreso now that I re-tell it here, she said that his drinking of my nectar is an opportunity for my feminine essence to enter his physiology, to become a part of his body. It will allow me to be with him and inside him always, whether I am present with him or not. I kind of like this idea.

I followed her advice and started him off at a slower pace. I first would have him come to me after I had peed and clean me off with his tongue. Then I worked him up by drinking a great deal of water and peeing into a wine glass. He was permitted to drink this glass at his own pace, and after it had cooled a bit. Gradually, I would require him to drink the glass more quickly, and when it was still warm. This went on for several months until he became completely accustomed to the smell, taste and temperature of my urine. Finally, we returned to the shower where he was able to swallow every drop of a true, streaming golden shower.

We now participate in this activity at least two or three times a week. I prefer to do it before his morning shower because it can still be a little messy for him, even after lots of practice. We both love it and respect the role it plays in reinforcing my authority and his humility.

Small Steps Up to Strap-on Play

The first several months after acknowledging and accepting my husband's submission were quite tame by any standards. They were characterized by my growing comfort and enjoyment with my new role but in no way were they accompanied by breaking through barriers that I would previously have considered off-limits.

For me this changed one night when I decided to go back and re-read some of Elise Sutton's website. For the first time, I became fascinated by some of the fetish trappings of femdom that certainly did not appeal to me at the outset. I decided to go to an online retailer and make my first purchases of some clothing and toys to try and take my dominance to a new level. I was very surprised at how much I had to spend (over $1,000) to get the quality mercandise that appealed to me, but I ended up doing it nonetheless. I purchased a very erotic leather outfit for myself, a sizeable mix of restraints and harnesses for him, and most importantly, a collectoin of buttplugs and strap-on dildos of various sizes.

When the box arrived in the mail, I very intentionally did not open it. I asked my husband to open it and please clean and put away the items in the closet. I watched his reaction from another room, him unaware that I was watching. I can tell you that he did not seem disappointed. It was a Monday or a Tuesday when the items arrived, and I said nothing about them all week. It was definately the large white elephant in the room between us.

When Friday night came around, I had him make me a wonderful dinner and open a great bottle of wine. We had a nice dinner together, and after dinner, I told him to clean up and come into the bedroom when he was finished. I had a surprise for him.

When he came back into the bedroom, I was standing there wearing my new outfit. His jaw dropped. I have to admit, I think I looked pretty good (as a frame of reference, I'm often told I look like Karen on Will and Grace). I asked him to strip in front of me. I then put him in his complete leather outfit, including a blindfold. I shackled his hands behind his back and bound his legs in a leg-spreader. I then positioned him next to our bed and leaned into the bed in such a way that his mouth had access to my bottom. I put his tongue to work as I began talking to him about my plans.

I told him how much I enjoyed the way our relationship was going and that it was never going to go back to the way it had been previously. In fact, it was only going to become more intense. I would take us in that direction by deflowing him. If he had any problems with that, he could speak now and I would at least consider his request. He was silent. His tongue remained right where it had been. I then told him it wasn't enough not to protest, he had to ask me to do it. Actually what I told him was that I wanted him to tell me to make him my bitch. I very seldom swear, so this statement was a shocker to him. He replied affirmatively and enthusiastically right away.

I kept him on the floor and bent him forward on his knees. The leg spreader was still in place, so his ass was high in the air and wide open for me to lubricate and insert the smallest of the butt plugs. I walked around him and had him kiss my boots for just a few moments before I decided to replace the smaller buttplug with a larger one. This one I left in for at least thirty minutes. I left the room, enjoyed another glass of wine, and returned to find him kneeling and plugged just as I had left him.

I came back into the room and went into the closet to put on the strap-on. It was a relativey small diameter, black rubber phallus about six inches long. It was definately a begginer model. I first stood in front of him and removed his blindfold. I lifted his head so that his face was even with my waist and had him suck on the toy. My loving husband had completely yielded his will to me and it fulfilled both of us in a way that I could never have imagined.

I next walked away and lubricated the toy. I positioned myself behind my husband, removed the buttplug, and placed the tip of my shaft on his asshole. His back arched as I leaned into him. I collapsed across his back and wrapped my arms around his body as I penetrated him and removed any last vestige of his male ego. I pumped him rhythmically as I stroked his hair and placed kisses on the back of his neck.

Later that evening, we both removed all of our fetish atire and lay in bed next to each other. We held each other in our arms and kissed like we had just met. The evening had been a complete validation of the power of loving female authority.

Monday, August 01, 2005

What Brings People to Femdom Blogs

I sometimes wonder what brings most viewers to femdom blogs and femdom websites. I think that the whole point of putting intelligent and thoughtful material on the web to serve as a resource for others makes all the sense in the world. I am sure that there are many men who are interested in the conceptual notion of serving a woman and can learn from blogs such as this what it really means to live out their fantasy. I'm sure also that there are many women who have been exposed to these ideas, likely by their spouse, and want to know where this road can really lead them.

However, as I go back and review my posts, and as I think about the posts that I still intend to write, there is no question that they have a very erotic dimension. Elise Sutton's site in particular is as erotic as it is informative. The Addison's site is erotic in its own way, sort of as if it is teasing us by what it does not discuss. If my blog should ever draw a following simply for its soft-porn appeal, I hope that this is the minority of the audience. I don't mean to say that I don't want people to consider these posts erotic -- by their very nature they are just that. However, I hope that they represent a source of courage for others to walk a less inhibited path towards a true matriarchal relationshiop with their spouse.

Sexual Intercourse and After-sex Duties

I mentioned how I love sexual intercourse with my husband. It is not the only form of sexual intimacy between us, but it is one that I have no intention of abandoning. I make this point because there are many dominant women that post in forums, etc. that seem to find penetration as inconsistent with femdom marriage. I find this notion absolutely ridiculous. I am biologically tuned to enjoy sexual intercourse, and it can be such a wonderful expression of two people's love for each other. I would never imagine abandoning sex.

Not only do I enjoy sex, but I very specifically love the moment of my husband's ejaculation. Again, I think I am biologically tuned for this as well. Now this said, I very often will have intercourse with him where he is not permitted to climax -- inside me or otherwise. He knows whether or not he can complete his orgasm based on whether or not I am wearing my pinky ring that night. It is not something we discuss. I communicate my desires strictly through whether or not I wear the pinky ring.

Prior to introducing femdom into our relationship, he would roll over like dead weight after sex and be off to sleep in minutes. Now, things are quite different. If he does not climax, he is in such a state of intense arousal and submission -- subspace -- that he immediately begins kissing and licking my entire body. I very often fall asleep with his tongue dutifully worshipping my bottom as I could not possibly match is energy level and stay awake to enjoy the depths of his subspace in these instances. On nights when he does orgasm, I would run the risk of losing his submissive energy if not for the fact that he is required to perform a special and very humbling duty for me. He is made to crawl between my legs and lick every last drop of his semen from my body. I know that he enjoys it because it was my husband that initially suggested it. Now it is commonplace and I have come to enjoy it as well. Perhaps it was also a way for him to express a suppressed cuckold fantasy to me, but more on that later.