Friday, August 05, 2005

Public Displays of Submission

I am definately of the mindset that my husband's submission to me is a private matter. Our families and friends know only that he is respectful and extremely devoted to me. They do not know, nor do I wish them to know, that in our home he obeys my every command and has surrendered himself to my authority.

That said, we are both excited about the occasional moments where it becomes clear to strangers just who is in control in our relationship. When we are at restaurants that are not near our home, I have ordered for both of us. Once when the waiter handed the bill to my husband, I let him know that I was offended by the gesture. I told him that he should assume that men and women should share the power in a marriage and that the check should be placed between the two of us. When he apologized and moved to place the check between us, I reached forward and took it from his hand. I told him that in our marriage, we do not share the power, and he could go ahead and hand it to me. When we got home, my husband and I were both so excited that he could not wait to begin servicing me.

We have had other experiences which had a similar effect on us. One time we had agreed to meet after his work in a bar near a venue where we were going to see a concert. An attractive couple, much younger than he and I, were seated at the bar next to me, and we ended up in a pleasant conversation. Without outright detailing the nature of my relationship with my husband, I made it very clear to them that the secret of happiness in our marriage was the fact that he understood that I was the one in charge. When my husband finally arrived, I introduced him to the couple and explained to him, right in front of them, that I had just told them we had a mutual understanding that I wore the pants in our marriage. He blushed and seemed a little uncomfortable. I then asked him to hold my purse as I was afraid something might get spilled on it if it remained at the bar. As any woman knows, holding a purse is considered a mark of complete humiliation for the more barbaric men amongst us. My husband, however, dutifully held me purse while we continued to make pleasant small talk with this couple for another twenty minutes.

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