Thursday, June 22, 2006

Interesting Article

Please see the following article reprinted from the ABC News website. It talks about how a woman's infidelity can strengthen a marriage. It mentions nothing even close to cuckolding, but some of the underlying dynamics that drive the ideas in this marriage are surely those same dynamics that drive the intimacy in cuckolding.

In any event, this is a very interesting article.

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June 21, 2006 — Dan and Kelly Gengler got married when they were 21 and had two children early in the relationship.

At first they were happy, but postpartum depression and Dan Gengler's long workdays and preoccupation with sports caused the young couple to drift apart.

"I didn't really know who I was or had no idea who Dan was, and I felt myself starting to pull back," Kelly Gengler said. "I started seeking other ways to be emotionally fulfilled, which ended in my having an affair and leaving everything behind."

Her affair stunned Dan Gengler.

"I was angry," he said. "When I first found out about it, and I was kind of just dumbfounded."

A 2004 ABC News poll found that 15 percent of spouses had cheated at some point during their marriage. The Journal of Sex Research found that 25 percent of men and 15 percent of women had cheated.

Kelly Gengler's affair nearly destroyed her marriage. It ultimately, however, brought her closer to her husband.

"Our relationship is definitely stronger," he said. "We've learned a lot about each other and a lot about ourselves."

Kelly Gengler left her husband for six months before convincing him that they should give their marriage another chance. The two went on a retreat with other struggling couples and learned how to make their marriage work, and, most importantly, love again.

"Would I choose to go through the experience of an affair and nearly divorcing in order to become stronger in our marriage? Absolutely not," she said. "Would we be where we are without that happening? I don't think so. I fully believe we would already be divorced."

A Learning Experience

There are other well-known examples of couples who have weathered highly publicized affairs: President Clinton and Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, Bill and Camille Cosby, and Frank and Kathie Lee Gifford.

"People often do get past this and the way in which they do this is by really learning what's happening in their relationship," said psychiatrist Keith Ablow.

In a New York Times article on Tuesday, Ablow wrote that infidelity could prompt a couple to re-examine their needs and re-ignite the passion in their relationship.

"I'm not saying that you should forget," Ablow said. "What you should take away from this is that marriage is a vital enterprise. It needs to be fed constantly."

Belisa Vranich, a clinical psychologist and the sex and relationships editor for Men's Fitness magazine, says that the betrayal of infidelity is so great that most couples can't overcome it.

"Sometimes the infidelity is the last straw," Vranich said. "It's the end of the chapter."

However, Ablow says that sometimes the infidelity can lead to the second chapter of a marriage.

Both Ablow and Vranich agreed that there were some couples who should take infidelity as a sign that they should split.

"If someone is repeatedly straying and making it known to the other spouse either consciously or subconsciously and doing it in such a hurtful way, there is probably such a disregard for the feeling of the other partner," Ablow said.

"If one spouse has no interest in cooperating to make the marriage work, it probably will not work," he said.

Keith Ablow will star in a daytime TV show later this year. To learn more, visit www.keithablow.com.

18 comments:

LFA Skeptic said...

A few other telling quotes:

"The two went on a retreat with other struggling couples and learned how to make their marriage work, and, most importantly, love again.

"Would I choose to go through the experience of an affair and nearly divorcing in order to become stronger in our marriage? Absolutely not," she said."

Somehow, I'm not drawing the same conclusion you did.

softncuddlyguy said...

My question remains unanswerered:

"Will you ever share the details?"

(Of the experience three months ago).

Aradia said...

Dear Ms. West,

Please allow Me to introduce Myself. My name is Aradia (Goddess Aradia to males that are submissive) and I am the owner of a forum called Female-Led Relationships, the link is: http://www.female-led-relationships.com/forum/.

The reason I am writing You is because I really like what you have to say about being a Loving Female Authority and living within a Female-Led Relationship. I find You to be well spoken (written), eloquent, and honest. These are qualities that are incredibly important for a Dominant Woman.

I would like to take this chance to invite You to visit the FLR Board and peruse the many writings that the M/members share with one another. If You like what You read, maybe you would like to join the Board.

I am sure that I can speak for all of the M/members on the Board when I say that W/we would be delighted to have You there.

If You choose not to join the FLR Board, I wish You the very best in Your journey of life.

All My best to You and your husband,

Aradia

helpmate hubby said...

Are you done blogging Katherine? If so we'll miss you terribly.

Polyfetishist said...

There's nothing in the article to indicate that a husband's cheating might have the same effect.

gdfox0 said...

me does believe that katherine has flown the coup. like so much femdom stuff supposedly written by females, I do believe this blog was the work of a middle aged man verbalizing his jerk-off fantasies. How many of you actually believe that elise sutton is a woman? How many believe that lady misato or, whatever her idiotic name is, is a real woman? her site by the way is down. It is male jerk-off fantasy nothing more. I have the vision of katherine west(the middle age man) no longer able to post any more bullshit.

Queen'sKnight1 said...

Barbara Wright Abernathy is certainly real. She has been interviewed on nationwide television regarding LFA/FLR.

gd said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
gd said...

Hey Queen's Knight,
I'm not saying that there are no dominant women, I'm saying that there are not as many as you would think. The dominant wife/slave husband lifestyle should draw many women, but it dosen't. All I'm saying is that most of this stuff on the web (not all) is the work of frustrated males. I think the desire of the male to be submissive is very strong, but most women do not share the thought. That being said, I still believe that katherine west, elise sutton, and lady misato are men, but their material is often quite entertaining.

Queen'sKnight1 said...

A couple of spaces up there is a section that says Comment Deleted: This post has been removed by the author.

Does that mean the person who authored the comment, or the author of this blog?

That comment disappeared fairly soon after it showed up. I know of no way to delete my own comments here, so I am assuming that Katherine is still monitoring comments here regularly and that it was She who deleted it.

Opinions?

Quiet guy said...

But why does someone do such a strange thing, as posing as someone else on an annoymous blog site?...very strange.

girlybs said...

Katherine,
You suck.

girlybs said...

K West,
You suck!

Just Me said...

Dear Katherine,
Some of these immature jerks leave comments that are totally out of line. Please ingnore them. You have no responsibility and owe us nothing, but I for one am grateful for the insights You have left us with. Whether You choose to write further or not probably has more to do with Your time and desire, but the previous two posters need to accept that You are the one in charge, not them. I hope You do, but if not, thanks for all You've given us already.

Queen'sKnight1 said...

girlybs,

Wow, what an amazingly powerful vocabulary and mastry of language you have! I don't think I've ever read anything of such immense intellect. Your way with words is simply beyond my ability to comprehend! You deserve to be at the top of the class in a group of fourteen year old third grade boys!

softncuddlyguy said...

Dear Katherine,
Please tell us - what has happened?
Soft n Cuddly Guy

pueraria said...

Perhaps she's having some legal troubles. The article which she copied is protected by copyright - and it is not "fair use" to reprint it in it entirity.

Sir Brian said...

I have a blog that's put into place a complete world for a Queen and Her Majesty's Knight to exist in: Kingdom, Constitution, laws, Protocols, Trappings. My partner and I practise and the two of us have never been happier.

Please go to: http://queens-knight.typepad.com/