Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Touched and moved

I am actually touched by the outpouring of emotion that my recent post elicited in some of you. It makes me realize that while I discuss my husband's frailties and the pleasure I take in playing upon them, I tend to leave my own off of these pages. I have grown in my role as a dominant woman, but I still have my own insecurities with which to deal. In fact, my dominance helps me deal with them in a way I am only starting to understand. I now need my husband's devotion - and it would seem that I need it expressed in ever intensifying acts of submission - just as he needs my authority.

The body worship, the massages, they still occur with the same frequency as they did when I originally started posting. Forgive me that I have not thought it important to continue to right about what is very much habit in our household. I think we need to spend time enjoying these simple and delightful pleasures and focus less on the emotional thunder of our recent adventures.

15 comments:

oldbear said...

Dear Lady Katherine, to some extent it is normal for a Lady not to post her fears on a page like this. In the beginning the group closeness may not exist for such revelations. As things about the Lady's home life are revealed the "juicy details" tend to take precedence over discussions of feelings and insecuritites.

To compound things, the majority of the readers are men, most of whom are, or believe they are, only submissive.Any comments or feedback that occurs comes mostly from them. It will tend to be juicy detail focused/related, and focused on the image of the domme as a superwoman, not a real, complete, person.

Many of these poor souls have no special lady in their life, or cant discuss or live any part of LFA with their wife or GF. They will therefore tend to not appreciate the emotional flow from a Lady to her sub/knight/servant/slave. (I am talking aobut sites in general and all of this may not apply here 100%.)

Yet whenever there is omething "juicy" discussed there are many more responses. In this grater sample you get many more guys actually living through the challenges and rewards of extreme LFA boundaries. These guys (and gals) DO appreciate the emotional struggles and growth or acceptance challenges the couple faces. So when prompted by your good question, you get the emotional/intimate focus of the last 19 repsonses!

Compared to those who have spent years trying to build up their spouse as a special Lady or deal with their own fears/jealousies/insecurities, those unfortunates mentioned above are probably not as interested in the Lady's challenges as she tries to grow as a person and a loving dominant force.

Dear Lady, i am VERY grateful you have made this blog, and I am grateful to all the great posters. Please feel free to share more emotional details and growth issues. I prefer to discuss the emotions as much or more than the juicy details..

ps- I caught your perceptive comment about needing ever intensifying acts of submission. Now, during this period of retro- and intro-spection might it be a good time to look for ways to redirect your mutual search for fulfillment?

Earlier in the blog when you where talking about cucking you or another had mentioned a concern that once it was done, there would be no stronger "Next thrill" left. Please pardon the paraphrase.

Your reply was something like, "I dont see my relationship as linear, and it was great before and would be great without cuckolding." Again pardon the weaknesses of my memory.

I believe there are ways to grow in your power over him and manifest it in stronger and more complete ways. This can be done without excessive reliance on ritual, or automoton-ic response from him to common daily tasks and situations.

I also believe it can be done while increasing his self-esteem and closeness to you. The easy and common way to accelerate the intensity is to increase degradation and diminuation of the sub, but some of the preciousness of free love between equals will ALMOST certainly be lost if that route is followed to its end. Just my tow cents, PEACE and LOVE to ALL fo you! You too lurkers :-)!!

Queen'sKnight1 said...

Bravo MiLady.

Bonnie said...

Lurker stands... wishes Lady Katherine all the best..and applauds her journey..retreats back to wenst she came *smiles*

Curious George said...

"I think we need to spend time enjoying these simple and delightful pleasures and focus less on the emotional thunder of our recent adventures."

Who is the we you are talking about? If you're referring to you and your husband that's fine, but if it's about your blog, what's the point in having a blog if you're not going to bare your soul?

We're here to read the good, the bad, and the ugly, the unforgettable and the banal. You are way too parsimonious in what you share. We're all adults here; if you had sex that rocked your world tell us. If your husband collapsed the next day tell us how you got him back on his feet.

Jeez Louise!

oldbear said...

Dear CG, when you start your blog, run it your way. Its her blog to run anyway she ses fit.

It is a blog about her actual marriage, as in something precious forever and ever. Their whole life as an LFA couple. Including the mundane and sentimental. It is not necessarily a soap opera of titilating events where each one is nastier or hotter or more gut-wrenching than the last.

The purpose of the blog can be found in the main page. I believe it mentions something about promoting LFA. Often (usually?)the best way to promote LFA to a nervous newbie Lady is thru the gentler and reserved benefits, not the extreme and soul-baring.

For What Its Worth, OB.

Curious George said...

Old Bear,

Lady K's last few posts aren't mundane or titillating; they are merely a tease that goes on for what seems like forever.

You're right; it is her blog, but a blog is different than a diary which is private. She wants the world to read her innermost thoughts so why not have the courage to post them?

If she doles out loving like she does words, the quality is great, but the quantity is seriously lacking. She needs to keep both in balance. Her prose is wonderful, but there just isn't much of it, sort of like being on the receiving end of a blowjob that lasts all of 15 seconds. It was good while it lasted, but now I have to finish off the damn thing with my own hand.

Perhaps that is what fem dom is all about, the perpetual prick tease.

Queen'sKnight1 said...

CG,

It's not your place to tell the Lady what she "needs to do". Your comments would be considered rude no matter to whom they were made. To believers in LFA, they are appalling. The Lady allows any to come here and read, but her target audience is those who believe that it is a Lady's prerogative to do as she chooses, and that men owe to Ladies the greatest of courtesy and respect, regardless of whether any particular Lady is his Domme or not. It is obvious that you are not a follower of that belief. As such, those of us who do follow that belief find your comments to be like those of a young, arrogant, macho, juvenile boy who has no self-control or self-discipline, and who treats women with contempt.

As Old Bear suggests, your own blog space would be a much better forum for you to posit your drivel.

Curious George said...

Queen's Knight,

Lady K is quite capable of defending herself so you can keep your opinion of me to yourself.

With regards to LFA, let's just say I have a hell of a lot more real life experience than you can possibly imagine.

I read this blog as do others for amusement and because I am always curious to see how others handle a female led marriage, especially if it contains aspects near and dear to my own heart (cuckolding) which Lady K's does.

I have a pretty good idea (having been there myself) why her husband is both addicted and tormented by his compulsion to be her cuck. I also understand why she's attracted to being a cuckoldress as it's a rush that is hard to beat. Couple that with genuine feelings for the other man who is more dominant adds to the excitement, but it also increases the potential for angst tenfold.

It's such a combination of pleasure and pain that until you've experienced it firsthand you are incapable of understanding.

Our marriage was good, but is now even better with me as her cuck. We've even taken it a step further as our relationship isn't about two people, but three. She loves him and she loves me. I love seeing her in love.

I'm not submissive 24/7, but am very much a sub when it comes to meeting her needs. There are times I'm capable of turning it off, especially when she wants to be the one dominated or really doesn't want to make the decision.

It's not just the 'juice' I want to read about but to get a peak at what is going on in both Lady K's and her husband's head. She seems reticent to provide us many details.

She's a magnificent writer and it's obvious she possesses a keen intellect; I only wish she would share more.

Queen'sKnight1 said...

CG,

Well I am not keeping it to myself. You certainly are not keeping your childish impudent demands to yourself. I don't seem to be the only one to take issue with you here either. You are an obnoxious bore. All that "blah, blah, blah." All of it about you..... you, you, you. LFA is not about a man being engrossed in himself. It is about selfless service to someone else. Get a life.

Redleg said...

Lady Katherine,

I have been reading through your blog and find its influence to be very powerful, so powerful in fact that up to this point nothing appeared to be anything but an amazing tale of the beauty that a relationship based in loving female authority could be. But, I ask, if you would be willing to address it M'Lady, isn't it very dangerous for a Woman to have her Vagina touched by any object that previously was in contact with Her anus? Please forgive me for asking this, but the image of your husband massaging you and subsequently serving you in this humble way is beautiful, but I have been aware for some time, or at least thought, that after having rimmed a Lady with my tongue that I could not subsequently use my tongue on Her beautiful Vagina for the risk of infectiopn to Her. How do you accomplish this? Or have I a false understanding? Thank you M'Lady,

Warmest,
Redleg

Curious George said...

Queen's Knight,

The only female authority I worship is my wife. While I admire other strong women I don't worship them and therefore I don't feel compelled to grovel and accept without question whatever bones they throw my way.

We are both consumers, albeit not paying. You are obviously happy with Lady K's product and while I am happy with her writing style and obvious intellect I'm not overjoyed with her reluctance to give us insight into the intimate details (physical and psychological)of her marriage and her LFA evolved into something more akin to femdom polyamory.

Speaking from personal experience I venture to guess what she feels for Jim based on how they connect sexually and their emotional past is love. She also her loves her husband who has a psychological need to completely submit to her (other than handing her the keys to your car, the house, the bank account and paying for their wedding) voluntarily agreed to be her cuck.

Being a cuck is a damn hard road to follow and it takes a special woman to focus on the love of her man without forgetting about her cuck. When you see on your wife's face the passion he induces it's forever imprinted in your mind. It's sexually powerful to a cuck, but it's also emotionally unsettling. Everyone deals with it differently.

The tactic I took is to let go. If she ends up with him so be it. I'll fall apart, pick up the pieces, and get on with my life, albeit lesson learned. To date it has worked and it's because I don't across as weak, just submissive, and without having to say it ad nauseum she sees concrete evidence of how much I love her which makes her love me.

We talk more than 99% of couples out there and there is nothing she won't share with me about how she feels for him. I've channeled that sexually and he isn't just a large part of our foreplay but his presence is constant throughout our lovemaking.

Our lovemaking is still that, but it has evolved focusing primarily on me orally and digitally worshiping her body as she reminds me she loves him, that I'm her cuck, and only he is allowed to cum in her. There are times when she holds me after a particularly emotional session and reminds me that I'm strong and that I promised to never leave her.

If you find my posts to self centered and boring don't bother reading them.

If it's mundane you're after, the interaction between a husband and wife, LFA is certainly not the place to find it. I have no idea if Lady K has children but if she does how does she live a dual lifestyle?

We do have children, older, and they have mixed feelings about their mother's boyfriend. We keep the heat down when they are around, but it's tough to explain the sudden appearance of flowers with a card from him. They aren't obtuse. Ditto for when they accompany her on a shopping trip to see her spend hours searching for the right gift to give him.

Queen'sKnight1 said...

(Yawn) Fellow readers, is his tongue still wagging like a dog's tail? Someone please wake me when he's finished.

oldbear said...

Dear CG, tha was a pretty good post, for gosh sakes start your own blog!!!!!!

I for one would gladly consume it!

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abitbent said...

I now need my husband's devotion - and it would seem that I need it expressed in ever intensifying acts of submission - just as he needs my authority.


This line speaks volumes for me and is the core value of what i seek in a relationship with a woman. It's this complimentary yet shared need that is the foundation for a compatible relationship. Without it, i wouldn't persue the relationship further.