Monday, February 20, 2006

A Young Couple's New Beginning

When I originally began this blog, it was intended as a forum for loving female authority in all of its many facets. I feel, however, that ever since I first mentioned cuckolding, that the focus has remained on this one very intense dimension of the lifestyle. For my own part, this has been therapeutic, and I am sure that for many of you it has been a great source of interest. However, let us not forget that there is more to life, and more to LFA, than mere cuckoldry.

To that end, I want to share the barest outline of a correspondence that I have entered into with a young woman who contacted me via the email address that I provided in an earlier post (kath_west "at" While I have received a great many emails since first posting that address, and have appreciated most all of them, I have received nearly none from women. I should not say that this surprises me, but it is a fact worth noting.

The particular email exchange to which I now refer began about a month ago, and I post my comments on it now because I think it is exactly the sort of success story that many of you hope to achieve in your own relationships. Let me also add that I have confirmed that this story is not fabricated by a male who is corresponding with me and signing as a woman. I actually spoke to "Mindy" this weekend on the telephone.

Mindy met and married her husband Paul approximately three years ago. While Paul had been very aware of his desire to submit to women for a very long time, he never mentioned it to Mindy during their entire courtship and even the first year of their very happy marriage. It was only when Paul discovered the Around Her Finger site ( and ended up buying Mindy some of the material that they sell on their Lulu page that Mindy learned about LFA. Mindy reacted quite positively to the material, and agreed to at least try out the dynamic of a female-led household. According to Mindy, it worked very well for several months, but soon Paul began to lose some of the enthusiasm that he demonstrated early in their new lifestyle choice.

Mindy pursued advice on the internet and ultimately decided on a course of action that went beyond the prescriptions offered by Emily Addison. It was on Elise Sutton's site ( that she first learned about more advanced topics such as strap-on play, male chastity devices, and cuckoldry. For Mindy, the male chastity device and the strap-on play ended up being an incredibly effective combination in cementing authority in their home.

Mindy has indicated that her practical experience in LFA has been remarkably similar to my own. She receives the evening massages and oral/anal worship that I also enjoy. She has also made effective use of golden showers and had some of the same initial challenges with this activity that my husband and I experienced. She has not practiced cuckoldry, and says she is quite certain she never will, but she has discussed it with her husband. It is clearly a turn-on to him, but he also prefers that it never move beyond mere fantasy. We have discussed several ways that she can extend the fantasy without ever following through on the reality.

The message of Mindy's story is that LFA is within reach for many of you that seek it in your own lives. Do not continue to live a lie by keeping these feelings from your wife. Open, share and grow in your submission. She deserves your obedience and you know you will be happier under her guidance and control.


Queen'sKnight1 said...

So very beautiful and heart warming. Thank you for sharing.

jett c said...

Dear Katherine

Nice post. My wife and I too have struggled with maintaining a femdom relationship. Like any other relationship it takes a lot of work. It is even more difficult due to the fact that our society is not very accepting of people who choose to live alternative lifestyles. The realities of raising children and managing careers present even greater difficulties to the Femdom couple. When out with friends, especially those whom we work with, we must be very careful not to have too many drinks and let slip our secret. Spankings and other punishments or extended scenes are impossible during the week. On the weekend we find ourselves praying that our son will have a dance or other social engagement and that our youngest will go to bed early. Femdom has absolutely made our marriage better though. The children clearly see that we are happier, my Mistress and I get along so much better. I like the fact that my children see that I am helpful with the chores and open with my expressions of love to their wonderful mother. An additional complication of Femdom is that we (doms and subs) have developed patterns of behavior that we now find easy to rely on. My wife and I have found that the path to Femdom bliss is not straight nor easy, but complex and ultimately very richly rewarding.

oldbear said...

Hi Katherine, i am so glad to hear it worked out for her! This story is a good reminder it is best to tell your lady about your desires early on, I believe it is honorable to tell her BEFORE you get intimate with her. JMHO. Of course even if a guy is afraid to hurt his marriage by bringing up LFA or Female Supremacy he can still make his wife's Life better.

Because he loves her, cherishes her, appreciates the kids she has given him, admires her feminine grace, loves the way she has been kind to him all the years they are married, and she IS his wife (Ye gods I cringe when married men post to a domina that they wish she was their wife--or even post they wish their wife could be more like the domina--I sure hope that it doesnt show in the way they treat their wife!)

I had to screw up the courage to tell my wife EVERYTHING almost 20 years ago when our dating started getting serious. Thank God, she accepted all my kinks, fetish desires, my interest in Female Domination, and even my My Male Dominant side as well. I did not lose her, and I know she respected my honesty. She did not deride it or me, she just wasn't interested in any of it. NO BIG LOSS for me. Her perogative. I am blessed 2 be w/her.

Beauty, wit, grace, toughness, kindness, strength, intelligence, self discipline, empathy, athleticism, courage, and sensitivity are all gifts from her to me. Its just what she is.

I have always tried to be deferential and respectful to her, and treat her like someone special.
I have always received a perverse thrill when other dudes get grief from their wife because I am repectful and attentive to her. And I might add she is solicitous and polite to me too. Its mutual.

Thanks to Elise, Kathleen, and a few other net ladies who are not so prominent as Elise and Kathleen I have recently decided to up the ante in my service to her, based on the knight and queen/princess model of behavior. Nothing big or kinky, just simple footrubs and massage and things like laying out her clothes and towel while she is in the shower, and cooking more special healthy stuff for us. ( I am the cook and do the slight majority of domestic chores).

As predicted by the female leaders of this movement the result of my redevotion to her pleasure and needs has been more happiness, intimacy, and peace for both of us. Just like they said it would!

We have NEVER and I mean ever indulged any of my desires. We have lived a totally vanilla sex-life for the last 19 years. She is not a foofy girl, and does not wear perfume or makeup, both of which fuel my romantic (non fetish)fantasies a lot. Nor does she wear any heels, or any of the clothes, boots, or leather that are associated with my fetishes and kinky fantasies, ever.

It does not matter to me. Because she is my precious, my friend, my supporter even when i fail, and my Lady-wife, and many more reasons I feel more than fortunate to be with her.

I know a lot of guys wish they could play or live the LFA lifestyle but if you cant for whatever reason you should still try to serve her anyhow! Out of LOVE. Do it guys, my mom died an invalid at 45, leaving my father without the greatest love he had ever known. You dont know how much time you will have to be special to her! Be big, strong man, and focus on submit and serve!

Special thanks to Kathleen, for starting this has a human touch that shows on the passions, pleasures, and pains of living life for your wife. Thanks to all of you great hubbies who post here, and the ladies that fuel their passions and guide the couples through life. And thanks most of all for the blessings that are my life and my wife. PAX.

danesq71 said...

Ms. Kathleen, Wow, thank you for sharing that inspiring story with us. I would love to know more about them, any hope that Mindy might start a blog such as yours?


Pleaseletme said...

Lady Katherine,
How generous of You to share this lucky couple's experience with us. i waited much longer to 'come out' to my Wife, now my Princess. If younger couples can learn about and practice Loving Female Authority, they will have a lifetime to enjoy the fruits. my lovely Princess has given me the gift of serving Her; i try daily to make Her glad She has done so. Each day is a new adventure as we learn more about the lifestyle. Your blog has been of great help, and i am always excited to discover a new post!

VeezKnight said...

I had to chuckle because I can so relate to what jett said above, especially about kids being around. It can be very challenging and frustrating finding private time for certain activities. My wife and I were amazed at how loud the sound of a paddle against naked flesh can be. LOL.

Also, I am encouraged that finally there is talk about something other than cuckholding because as Katherine said, there is so much more to LFA. Besides, I think this may well be the single biggest stumbling block to more couples adopting a FemDom lifestyle. This is one of the reasons Elise Sutton says she originally intended to exclude this subject from her website and her book.

Anesha said...

Hi Nice Blog . I don't really know a lot about Human Anatomy study or art, but that's just my 2 cents. Really great job though, Krudman! Keep up the good work!

Scott said...

I have found that LFA or the Female Superiority movement have some logic behind it but I believe it falls down when you try and broad brush it to all Males and M/F relationships. I think it can be a wonderful thing for a couple in which the male is submissive by nature. But I also think it puts a huge strain on the women to be in her masculine for so much of the time. If it works for them great! But I also feel strongly that it is not a universal condition between M/F couples. The male led relationship is not just societal conditioning. It is not uncaring or ruthless subjugation of the female partner. The historical evolution of men and women has been derived from natural selection and genetic programming for far longer than our current societal and economic conditions support. Additionally, I believe the males that are submissive are equivalent to the omega of the species that in times past would have been prevented from reproducing. They simply weaken the gene pool. Submissive males have a right to live happy but should we really allow them to reproduce? Why do you think the bad boy is so attractive to most women? I think the submissive male is simply a bad imitation of a woman. The Alpha male is strong in his masculine but gentile in his heart. The Alpha Female is a full and equal partner with her natural feminine qualities just as highly prized. The two are equal but different and naturally balanced. The eventual cuckoldry and replacement of the submissive male is the natural conclusion of a failed experiment. Being married for 23 plus years I have found that as a natural Alpha male I fill my wife and allow her to be fully female. She is by no means in a subordinate position in the marriage. She is my Queen and I her King. She finds submissive, wimpy men disgusting I find them a sad waste. A man doesn’t have to be submissive to treat his woman like a lady. A fully integrate male naturally leads the relationship. I would die for my wife in second and kill for her without hesitation if she were threatened. Real love is more than a bedroom game.

Gruffalo said...

Dear Scott,

Yours sounds like a lovely marriage. Congratulations, and long may it last. But just as there are many ways for a man to be dominant, there are many ways for him to be submissive, and I refuse to believe that you would find all of them a sad waste or disgusting. I too find it disturbing if in a supposedly loving relationship one partner treats the other in a cruel, degrading or contemptuous way. How cuckoldry can be a turn-on defies my imagination. But why is it unnatural for a woman to lead or a man to follow her? I think I find strong women who can impose their will exciting and sexy precisely because I am a strong man. If I were a wimp, I would fear and hate them. I am not prepared to be their puppy, slave or servant. But if treated properly, I will obey .