Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Delay for Good Cause

While there is more story to tell, I am delaying the details. The after effects of the evening on my husband's emotions are as they were before, and he is always my priority.


oldbear said...

Dear Lady Katherine, my supply of superlatives is exhausted. I am as always, in awe of your kindness and consideration for your husband.

Your kindenss and consideration to him in his hour of duress mirrors his special devotion to your pleasure and indulgence.

Thank you for setting a great example for loving and caring as the KEY part of the Dom and Cuck lifestyle in a deep and enduring marriage.

Curious George said...

Your husband's meltdowns are alarming. Even though he wants to be your cuck, perhaps he's not strong enough emotionally. It might be time to return to a more vanilla lifestyle, but putting the Genie back in the bottle is tough. In spite of the pain afterwards everything else pales to what the three of you experienced Saturday night. Even if you suspect it can alter your marrige in very unhealthy ways your addiction to it is strong.
I liken it to the loaded shotgun in the mouth with a finger on the trigger. You know it's dangerous but
you're addicted to the thrill of the barrel being in your mouth.

Time for alot more talking to see where you want this to go. You sound a bit torn enjoying Jim's dominance and your husband's submissiveness. You also seem to be emotionally connected to both which I'm sure your husband is picking up on. As a sub male I know my wife's attraction to her boyfriend on both a physical and emotional level is something I crave, but it's also something that can at times be painful.

Your husband might also feel better sharing his emotions with those who have been there. I wouldn't trade my marriage for anything in the world, but angst is real; learning how to channel it into sexual energy and good feelings is the only way to deal with it.

Queen'sKnight1 said...

Dear Katherine,

I have not said much for awhile. I was a bit tentative about this for a few reasons and chose to say nothing while others were cheering this notion on.

As I stated before, I do not think returning to Jim was a good idea. He represents too much of a potential rival in your husband's subconscious.

As I recommended before, I will again suggest someone with a different background, younger, older, different ethnicity. This has nothing to do with the "black" issue, perhaps try Arab, Asian, in some manner "exotic". Again, as before, I think the bull needs to be submissive, not dominant. Your husband should not see you with a man of strong will. He may subconsciously feel that you really want a man who can be the head of the household. Your husband can never fill that role. Do you want completely and wholly to be an authorative female, or do you want to have a male on the side who is your equal or superior? I do not ask this sarcastically. I ask sincerely, as I wonder whether this is resolved in your own mind. Your husband is most likely insecurely wondering this in his own mind as well. That is a tremendous threat to him.

Your husband does not want you to be his hot wife. He wants to be your cuccold. These two relationships are very different. You placed him in the position of being husband of a hot wife by leaving it to him to contact Jim. While that may have some element of humiliation, it is not something that brings fulfillment-just as in BDSM there are both "good pain" and "bad pain", this is not the "good" kind of humiliation. If you are the dominant, you make the choice to initiate with the bull. You do it with your husband's consent, but it still is you who does it. It is not in his nature as a cuccold to initiate this as it is in a hot wife situation.

You told us that Jim wanted to explore his submissive side. I believe he lied to you just to be with you again. You may have told your husband that Jim wanted to explore his submissibveness. With trepidation, your husband proceeded; yet when Jim arrived, he was not only domineering with your husband, he seduced the powerful dominant female with masculine prowess. For some men, cuccoldry is the sole element of submission and there is no distinction between the two. Your husband is first of all submissive to you as a woman of power, and a cuccold secondarily to that. His cuccoldry is only one expression of his submission. Seeing Jim as dominant to you threatens the power dynamic between you and your husband, a dynamic in which he needs always to see you as dominant over any and every male you encounter. Your "bulls" need to be the kind with rings in their noses, the kind whose nose ring you twist and whom you lead around with penultimate power. In this dynamic, your husband will not be threatned.

Also as before, your bulls need to be playtoys whom you use and dispose, not someone whom you see repeatedly and with whom (in your husband's mind-or perhaps even in reality) you have the potential to fall in love.

Consider the anklet for the right foot with a large costume wedding band. Go to the bar at the restaurant you mentioned or some other. Sit at the bar while your husband watches from a distance. When a man approaches, make it clear that you are in charge and that everything that happens will be led by you. Take home only a man who is certain to obey you. All the intimacy should be led by you and you are always on top. Due to the STD issue, use condoms and practive all safer sex proceedures-no creampies or bull warmup/cleanup for hubby without proof of being disease free. The bull should not be allowed the privilege of your mouth on his genitals as this lowers your status. Finally, kick the used toy out of the house, for he is, after all, only a toy, not a rival to your husband.

Perhaps later, when this scenario looses some of its charm, you may begin slowly teasing your husband by letting a bull be on top, seeing him twice, licking his magic wand, etc. But by that time your husband will have become more sucure in his place as not just your cuccold, but as your one and only HUSBAND.

Wayne C. Rogers said...

Lady Katherine,
Did you allow your husband to have an orgasm after this last experience with Jim? If so, that might be where the problem lies with your husband's emotions. Men always see things differently after a powerful orgasm. The very fantasy that excites a man before his orgasm cam have a profoundly different affect on him afterwards. I know this from personal experience with my last Mistress. If your husband didn't have an orgasm afterwards, then something else is going on here. If he did, then this whole situation can be corrected by orgasm denial and a male chastity device. This will keep your husband in a constant state of sexual heat long after Jim has gone home. This is the secret to having your husband wanting Jim to come over on a regular basis without getting upset with regards to what's happening.

oldbear said...

CG, QK, and WCR, great posts, great points! Agree or disagree, i liked them all for how analytical they are.

Unlike you all, I have never been a willing cuck, but did have a cheated on suspicion thing in the past. I am of the back up, go slow, no more dominant males, orgasm the next day or two days after or something school of thought. But i will point out WCR has been spot on in all he has said so far.

I was thinking going hotwife might help due to the fuck-toy being non dominant to her, but QK makes good point that maybe sub to her is even better.

CG makea good point that lady k seems to enjoy being ravished/dominated by him, and him diminishing hubby by ordering hubby around. unsettling to b sure.

I dont hink hubby craves the humiliation and fear like marias husband did, he craves seeing his katherine happy.

i dont hink chastity will cure his anxiety, but as I said B4 WCR is the expert, and has been right so far.

Thanks guys, for something more than meat-beat comments.