Monday, January 09, 2006

Married Men and Professional Dommes

I have often wondered if married men have found that their need to submit is sated by a visit to a professional dominatrix. Can a man truly surrender to a woman he barely knows and who he only serves for brief period of time.

Are there men out there who have explored this avenue of release and can you comment on how it did or did not satisfy your expectations?

8 comments:

iobey said...

Early in my exploration of my submissive nature I visited a Dominatrix or two - to simply experience what following the lead of a woman might be like. I can say that out of 4-5 experiences, one was memorable and positive - the others sort of a wash. I find that this relationship - like any other - is rather soulless and ultimately unfulfilling without some sort of connection besides a set time and price. I won't visit anothe dominatrix again because I know in my heart that such a relationship only works when coupled with intimacy, romance and a deep intellectual and loving relationship.

Wayne C. Rogers said...

Like iobey, I've also been to a number of professional Doms over the last twenty-five years. It's only good if you can form a relationship with the Dom and that takes a lot of time and money, or if you'll simply seeing her for a good old-fashion whipping. Otherwise, it's a waste of money and time, at least for me it is. Considering the number of professionals here in the United States and in Europe, it would seem as though thousands and thousands of submissive men are flocking to them. I don't think a man can truly submit to a woman unless he loves her completely. It is only then that his submission becomes an act of love to this very special lady.

tunesmith said...

I have to agree with the other posters. I had a couple of experiences with professional dommes. They were lovely women, and good at what they do, but without the "loving attraction" it is no more than acting a part. It seems to be much more satisfiying when you combine feminine power with an intimate relationship.

tallchisub said...

I echo the opinions. In my past I had generally positive experiences with a number of professional Dommes. I found that after the first thrilling encounter the satisfaction diminished because of the lack of an emotional bond.

What is very positive is for couples to utilize the skills of a pro-Domme to stengthen their relationship. Most pro-Domme's are very willing to play a role in a scenario that might push the buttons of both partners. A woman who might hesitate at "hitting" her partner might be willing to delegate some of the hard stuff to the pro-Domme while she watches or enjoys other aspects of the scene.

IMO, this is a win-win approach for all.

jett c said...

This is an excellent question. My wife and I have been terribly busy the past 3 months and have drifted away from the femdom lifestyle. I have thought about trying a professional dom but my feeling has been that there is no way that a stranger could induce the deep feeling of warmth and intimacy that I feel with my wife. I think anybody that has experienced the femdom lifestyle would agree that the depth of the intimacy achieved is one of the most important aspects of the lifestyle.

Richard of Down On My Knees said...

Having been involved in sex work many years ago I know that sometimes a pro and a client bond as friends. As with most relationships it is mostly due to the qualities of the two people involved.

While I never visited a professional for many years I felt that my BDSM needs could be satisfied by anyone willing to exert their will over me.

But after having becoming involved in D/s with someone I deeply love on all levels it is almost impossible to imagine doing it just to get my masochistic desires satisfied.

VeezKnight said...

For me it is all about LOVING female authority. My submission takes root from that. While I recognize that in many ways women are superior to men, I could never truly worship and submit to a Goddess I did not love.

Her Majesty's plaything said...

Dear Ms. West:

I am a submissive male and my Wife and I have practiced D/s play for over twenty years. At one point our relationship became very rocky and she lost interest in playing with me. At that time she gave me permission to play with a pro. While I learned a lot from the experience it was an emotionally confusing one for me. I tend to become very emotionally attached to the woman who dominates me and I became far too attached to my "therapist". The experience reinforced my belief that love is the single most important component of any BDSM play. While it is possible to befriend a pro and have a good relationship with one (as I believe I did) forming a relationship based on love with a professional dominatrix is an impossible dream. For that reason I believe that BDSM play is, at least for me, best kept within the confines of a loving committed relationship. As a result of me going overboard with my "therapist" my wife became very displeased and agreed to pick up the whip again. She reclaimed me as her devoted slave and she is once again my Queen and my Goddess. That is the best possible outcome for everyone concerned I think! ;-)

I very much enjoy reading your blog and look forward to your future postings with much enthusiasm! :-)