Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Cuckolding: Latency Issues

Enough time has passed since cuckolding my husband that we are detached from the emotional and sexual intensity of the event. We are able to look back and truly evaluate how it has made us feel.

I had written shortly after the cuckolding occured how incredibly empowering the experience was for me. I stand by this earlier statement. However, I could not then and cannot now detach myself from the impact that the experience has had on my husband.

Initially, my husband viewed the experience in light of the intensity to which it drove him into the hypnotic, endorphin-charged state of mind that is commonly called subspace. Cuckolding, like no other activity, triggered subspace episodes that were incredibly powerful. This is undeniable, and I think that both of us, as well as many of you, anticipated this outcome. Furthermore, it provided an experiential trigger which allowed him to re- initiate the endorphin rush by consciously recalling the experience. Similarly, it allowed me to trigger this same release by either overtly referring to his cuckold status or wearing, as I have several times since that night, the special necklace that I purchased for the occasion.

My husband's journeys into subspace have represented spiritually and emotionally satisfying events for both of us, and as such, are regarded as a positive outcome of the total experience. However, as of recently, my husband has confessed that they have begun to lose their efficacy. It is both harder for him to self-trigger the state of mind, and when he does, it seems less intense.

I asked him what he felt the solution to this problem might be and whether he felt that it might involve me spending another evening with my lover. My husband was very quick to answer that he did not know the answer, but that he was not yet ready for another cuckolding experience. He was deferential and acknowledged that he would take whatever course of action I felt appropriate, but at this time he hoped I would not involve Jim. Of course I am respecting his wishes.

I think my husband and I have much to deal with after the thrill of our experience continues to dissolve into the fabric and pattern of our memories. We will continue to grow through this what has hapened, but let our current struggle to come to terms with that evening serve as a caution to all that read this blog.


Wayne C. Rogers said...

Mistress Katherine,
There are many ways to bring back the intense experience of cuckolding without actually doing it again. While your slave is performing oral sex on you, you can talk about how much you enjoyed making love to John and how wonderful it was to have your husband go down on you afterwards. You can talk about seeing John again at a later day, but not do it. It will keep your husband on edge. You can talk about future fantasies with your husband and what you would like to do should John be included. Since these are just fantasies, you can take them to the extreme and make your husband feel as if you actually intend to carry them out. You can also dress up as if you're going out on a date, but not tell your husband where you're going, or whom you're seeing. You can just meet a female friend for a drink, but your husband will have all kinds of scenarios going around in his head by the time you return. This keeps the cuckold experience alive, but without your husband actually having to deal with another man. It can be fun without the emotional damage. In time, your husband might want you to see John again to find out if the second time is as strong as the first.

sub hubbie said...

Quite right, Wayne, except the bull's called Jim!

Seriously, I agree with you. My Mistress has not had a cuckold relationship for some time (her choice) but we still enjoy fantasising about them.

Wayne C. Rogers said...

I apologize for the mix up with the name of the bull. From what Lady Katherine wrote, I had assumed that it was your choice about her seeing Jim again. This gets rather complex, doesn't it?

Katherine West said...

It is more complicated than you seem to realize. I will definately be discussing it in more detail.

Richard of Down On My Knees said...

I have certain sure triggers that know me deep down into submissive space. We decided to using them very sparingly less they should lose their power.

For which I'm very grateful. Those acts that can knock me into nonverbal space are lovely treasures I'd hate to lose.

What the two of your practice must require enormous skill, empathy and care. Very best wishes.

Mark said...

My wife and I established our loving agreement last weekend, but the event I am referring to happened last June. She and her friend went out clubbing for her birthday weekend and she ran into someone she was attracted to. She flirted with him intensely over the weekend, even allowing him to fondle her breasts and her cliterous. They did not have sex. When she returned home she told me of the event piece by piece. It immediatley sent me into subspace. I supported and encouraged her desires to meet him for sex, but the arranged night did not work out. He did not want to have sex with a married woman because he was too concerned with my knowing. But, until last week when I swore orgasms off without her permission, I came almost immediately in thinking of this event. She has not discussed it all with me, but the mere reference will send me to subspace. Your husband may not be eager to repeat the experience because it makes him fearful of losing you, but be sure that in his head he still goes to the place you want him.

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