One But Not the Other

I really am more and more convinced that most (maybe all) men have an innate need to submit to women. I think that an individual's circumstances may suppress that need in some cases and may exagerate it in others, but I think it exists nonetheless.

While I would like to believe that all women have an innate desire to dominate men, I just have not seen enough evidence of this to convince me. Within certain subcultures, women seem to take on roles. In traditional Southern communities, women often seem passive and submissive. On the other hand, in the African American community, dominance seems to be the prevailing female nature. I remember watching the show Wife-Swap where a black wife was clearly dominant to her white submissive husband. She laid in bed and rang a little bell every time she needed something.

In general, however, dominance does not seem to as ubiquitous in the American woman (I am not qualified to speak in regard to other countries/societies). I still maintain that the potential to self-actualize via submission is in the eyes of almost every man I see.

Breaking Him Down Slowly

I regret in some ways that my husband has always been aware that he is submissive. How lucky you women are that have husbands completely out of touch with what I (more and more) believe is the male's innate need to submit.

You could break him down slowly by using your feminine sexuality to tease, torment and ultimately conquer him. You can take credit for introducing him to the pleasure of loving female authority. You can watch him evolve and grow under your constant nurturing. Before and after snapshots will reveal quite a story. The before profile is a man with no direction, no focus. The after profile is a man committed to your service and free in a way that he never was before.

Women owe the introduction of femdom to their men. Anything less is almost cruel.

Training Regime

I was asked in a comment to my last post to discuss whether or not I have a formal training regime in place with my husband. I thought a little about it, but I have to say that the answer is no. There is no training involved with him beyond his getting used to certain activities (e.g. see my post on golden showers). The rules are very simple... I tell him what I expect him to do, and he does it. On occasions where he is slacking off, I remind him of what I expect and he reacts. I really am not a masochist and have no desire to inflict pain to perfect his ability to perform a given task.

If training is required in a femdom relationship, it seems to me that the wife is the one that needs it most. Remember -- this is a 24/7 relationship with a man that I love -- I have to learn when to back off and when to put my foot down. There are occasions when he needs a little down time, and I am growing in my ability to recognize these occasions and moderate my expectations accordingly. Any woman living this lifestyle over time that tells you he is always "on" is, in my opinion, just not being honest.

Perhaps I should spend more time on this topic as it is of more practical value than my musings on cuckolding, etc. I think the topic is well-addressed in Around Her Finger, but I would enjoy sharing my insight on it here in this forum.

More on Forced Bi

Further consideration has given me some new thinking on the notion of having my husband suck another man's cock. I have thought about how many times in the early years of our marriage I put my mouth on his cock, and I think of the forced bi experiment as an opportunity to wash away his past transgression for putting me in this position of juxtaposed authority.

When giving my husband blowjobs in the past, I did it because I felt it was an unselfish means of providing him pleasure. Of course I recognized the aura of humility that it brought to me, but never gave it a second thought given that it was occuring in a loving relationship. However, now I look back at it with an enlightened perspective. My husband knew at the time that we first married that he was submissive. Even if I didn't know it, he did. He also knew that I was superior to him and demanded reverence in the relationship beyond what I even comprehended at the time. Yet knowing all this, he still allowed me to kneel before him and to place my mouth on his penis.

He tells me now that he never really enjoyed receiving oral sex. While it produces physical pleasure for him, it never engendered a sense of closeness to me. This sense of closeness - of emotional intimacy - was always a decent if not perfect substitute for the sense of intimate surrender to me that he now has via our open practice loving female authority. So, knowing that the blowjobs represented some sense of temporary submission on my part, and knowing that he did not really want them in the first place, I am left thinking of a remedy for what he allowed to happen.

Perhaps to have him know the humility of sucking a cock is entirely appropriate.

Forced Bi Fantasies

I have never given much thought to the idea of forcing my husband to participate in bi-sexual activities. I have always known that if I cuckold him, I would like him to clean the other man's cum from between my legs, but that's not quite the same as putting his mouth, for example, on another man's cock.

Much of the cuckold erotica involves an evolution in the sexual play to a point where the alpha male is dominating at least the cuckolded husband and forcing him to suck on his cock or in some cases open his legs to receive anal sex. Some of the cuckold erotica goes a step beyond this and the alpha male ends up dominating both the submissive male and the wife. I know that the latter has no appeal to me as my authority in my own home is not to be questioned. The former, however, has some appeal, but I would not envision participating in this sort of activity in any initial cuckold experiment that I may undertake.

I want the centerpiece of the experience to be a surrender of his jealousy to his submission. I want the animal need to gaurd one's mate to be overcome by the intellectual, spiritual and perhaps equally innate need to put my pleasure above his own emotions. I want the void of humiliation to be washed away by the power of his devotion to me. This all seems better afforded by a cock between my legs as opposed to one in his mouth.

My husband denies any forced-bi fantasies. I wonder if these fantasies are common or not among submissive men.

Cuckolding Close to Home

Please excuse my recent absence from the blog. I am going to have to resort to less frequent posts as time constraints and writer's block are making the daily commitment impossible.

I have thought a great deal lately about the pleasure I would take from cuckolding. This is separate from the impact it would have on my husband altogether. I have found myself thinking that I would like to be with another man just for the sheer hedonistic pleasure of it. This seems important.

I was at an outdoor party in my neighborhood this weekend. There was a gentlemen who perhaps had too much to drink who was going just a little beyond neighborly chit-chat and flirting with me with quite blatently. He is an attractive man, and I will confess to having been very charmed by his actions.

I mentioned this to my husband later. My husband doesn't know this man very well, but for some reason is not very fond of him. He asked that I please not entertain any thoughts of cuckolding him with this man. I would never cuckold him with this particular man as 1) he is married, and 2) I do not want a reputation in the neighborhood that results in hushed whispers every time I go for a walk. However, I have been teasing my husband a bit with the idea.

The whole thing gets both of us extremely hot.