Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I Regret Nothing

Let me clarify my last post with this short, but hopefully edifying comment. I regret nothing. As I feel more competant in my ability to communicate my evolving thoughts and emotions on this topic, I will post a more comprehensive comment.

63 comments:

Mistressjen said...

As a Domme with a 24/7 slave I really [think I] do understand what you are saying. Sometime it takes a long time to process things. Don't let the fools get you down. I haven't cuckholded my slave though I have considered it, we have discussed it and I am much closer to it then I was even 6 months ago. What stops me? The impact on me, on him on us. I know that I'd spend hours and days and weeks thinking about it afterwords. Analyzing it, discussing it. Take all the time in the world. Or never post about it again. But DON'T let the fools get you down.

Jen

chris said...

Good Day Katherine:

Although I am a slave in my own right, permit me to address you in this fashion as my Owner Annie and I give great respect to names rather than titles.

We are a married couple in which I am the slave under contract. We have after many years of experimentation found our beginning in a Loving Female Authority relationship. It is abosolute!

I have just read your entire blog and will bring it to Annie's attention. I must admit that it shook me to the core in more ways than one but especially in retrospect of an experiment some years ago in which we engaged another man for a threesome. For various reasons it ended in a disaster. One of the reasons was my inability to emotionally deal with what was taking place despite my desire to engage in it.

I fully understand your and your husband's journey and congratulate you in your courage and love for each other.

Your blog is spectacular

chris

butch said...

Thanks, Katherine. Excellent blog and I was compelled to read everything and intend to reread at least once.

oldbear said...

Thanks to Lady Katherine for this blog, as it has raised the level of discussion about extreme LFA activities beyond the merely titillating!

Hi Chris, thank you for your post, it may give hope to those who want to try cuckolding but are afraid their relationship might not survive if the cucking ends in disaster.

I like your blog, might you expand on this topic more over there?

A deep and greateful thank you to you all who post here, as I can learn about things I will never do from people I will never meet, who could live anywhere in the world. VERY powerful communications.

NYCuckold said...

I must say that the more I read this blog the more I desire to reach the level of cuckolding that Katherine has reached in her relationship. It is my belief that before cuckolding can begin, your relationship must be mature and loving enough that life separated would not be possible. As a husband and provider to my wife, I must shower my wife with everything other than that mind blowing orgasm that she needs to receive from her boyfriend. During the period that my wife is with her lover and soon after the orgasm, I must be available to provide the secondary services that any couple needs, including oral servitude. Then I believe the wife and husband will bond at levels that a vanilla couple could only imagine reaching.

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Wayne C. Rogers said...

At least the spam of this blog is about getting a college degree. The spam on my blog is about getting a larger penis. I know which is more important :-))

Lpet said...

Just a note to say how much i enjoy reading your posts Katherine. i have no judgments at all regarding your relationship and especially the cuckolding of your partner...but find it an interesting and stimulating discussion of the subject. i am very friendly with a couple who has made cuckolding work very nicely for a long time. i have no sense that this marriage is in any more jeopardy than any other; in fact, my take is this couple's marriage is better than most! Thank you for sharing!

Curious George said...

Lady K,

You write you regret nothing, but you talk about its impact afterwards. As you and your cuck know, becoming sexually and emotionally involved with another, is not for the faint of heart.

It's all about emotional maturity, trust, adequate coping mechanisms, and both partners getting a need fulfilled by the third party.

Genuine feelings, not roleplaying, can arouse with the intensity of a hurricane, but they can also leave psychological wounds that take forever to heal.

What works for one might not work for others. Becoming more fatalistic is one such tool. She stays with me but she loves him with an intensity markedly greater. Her dedication to him is scary, but also what makes the ride so exciting.

If she leaves me for him, it's her choice. The fact she hasn't is what I take comfort in and one way I cope. The fact sex between us continues to be so damn hot and so focused on the cuckold experience is another. She must need me as much as I need her.

You don't have to admit it, but it's obvious you have strong feelings for Jim (love), but that doesn't mean you don't love your cuck. It's the intensity and even the mechanisms that are different.

Your cuck thrives on your love for Jim, but it also causes him anguish. If you continue to cuckold him he needs to find ways to keep his insecurities at bay. If he doesn't he'll ruin the experience for you and for him.

He has to believe in himself, that even if you abandon him, he's not forever damaged goods or unworthy of another's love. He also has to accept his own limitations; perhaps he doesn't rock your world the way Jim does sexually, but he is capable of making the ground on which you lay, legs open wide, as he worships you with his tongue, tremble just a little.

Best of luck and looking forward to the day you share more of the emotions experienced by the two of you before, during, and after the cucking.

princeofmyqueen said...

Hallo all

I know this is properly the premuim blog when it comes to "wife-led" arriages, but I invite you all to visit a new blog that I have created at MYBEAUTIFULLQUEEN.BLOGSPOT.COM

evangeline2020 said...

Sometimes the desire and fantasy don't match the reality. Your honesty and openess is refreshing and helpful to see.

Jon Green said...

Katherine,

I'm sorry to see you have no regrets. I do agree, however, with your decision not to post additional details of your second experience with Jim.

My fear is that when you went solo with Jim during the second experience while your husband was gone, you completely violated the substance of your marital/dom-sub relationship. From your husband's standpoint, you may have totally dissolved the trust he placed in you as the dominant person.

In the first experience, your husband was a willing participant throughout the entire session. In the second experience, not only did you exclude him during the first intercourse session, you also allowed Jim to dominate him later in the same session. The first and second experiences are two completely different dynamics, which I believe resulted in the difficulties your husband experienced following your second time with Jim.

Being the dominant one doesn't give you the right to disregard or disrespect your husband's feelings. His willingness to submit is predicated on his trust that you will do nothing outwardly harmful to him or your marriage. You may want to revisit this with your husband to see if "no regrets" is really the best you can do for him.

guggler said...

Jon, how can you assume such a thing? There was no talk, yet, about Katherine's husband being devastated. Furthmore I don't consider her action as a break of trust. It was clear why Jim came over and it was the husband who organized it!

Keeping that in mind, he set the road for the latest happenings. He is no position to design the whole scene. That's Katherine's role. Frankly, I think it was a nice move, allthough not absolutely concious. This reflects the husbans's wishes. He might have some problems dealing with it, but he can't deny the responsibility.

Conclusion: There is no broken trust. If there is a proble, it is the husband's incapacity to deal with his emotions. I believe in Katherine that she'll help him get through this and go on, on the path of domination and cuckoldry for a very long time!

Jon Green said...

guggler, you've obviously missed some key issues.

First: Yes, the husband set up the second meeting, but I'm guessing he did so with the reasonable expectation that he would be present as he was during the first experience.

When Katherine violated her marital relationship by going solo with Jim, the husband had every right to react the way he did (one poster here called it a "melt down"). To dismiss the husband's feelings by claiming he isn't strong enough to handle it is extremely shallow given what occurred.

Second: check out Elise Sutton's website writings about cuckholding in her Q&A forum . She is against exactly the type of behavior that occurred between Katherine and Jim during the second experience, calling it cheating and warning that it can damage the marriage. Here's a quote: "My rule of thumb is that as long as the husband is present and agrees to watch the cuckolding take place, then it is not cheating."

I think we can all agree that the husband wasn't present during the initial act of intercourse at the second session. He had a right to feel cheated and experience a totally different reaction than he did after the first experience where he was present the whole time.

Third: Isn't anyone else concerned that Katherine didn't practice safe sex, exposing herself and her husband to STD's? Perhaps I missed it, but did Katherine write that Jim had recently been tested and was STD free before their two encounters? I guess if she wants to risk her own health, that's her choice, but she has no right to risk her husband's health.

It's called "Loving" Female Authority. I'm still looking for any "Loving" behavior from Katherine relative to the second experience with Jim.

Queen'sKnight1 said...

jon green and guggler,

Both of you make some good points, but at the same time, I'm not in complete agreement with either of you.

Firstly, there is a lot we don't know. Trying to hypothesize all the unknown details is somewhat presumptuous.

Katherine has never stated that she had STD tests done with Jim.

Elise Sutton is not THE AUTHORITY on how cuckolding is/should be done. Hers is one voice of opinion among many.

Katherine left it up to her husband (to whom she has never assigned a pseudonym) to set up the rendezvous with Jim. We do not know whether this is something that would have intrigued the husband, or whether he would have preferred that Katherine alone hold the power to decide when initiation of cuckolding occurs. Having to be the initiatior may have taken him out of his submissive headspace, maybe not.

Either of you may be correct or incorrect about this second cuckolding being a violation of trust. There are cuckold web sites which have thousands of members. Different couples have vastly different covenants of protocol. In some cuckold agreements, it is understood that the wife can do whatever she wants, in whatever manner she wants. In others, it is understood that the cuckolding is to occur only with the husband's knowledge and perhaps only with him present. Katherine has never spelled out these details to us. This is her blog. As such, she is free to share whatever she wants with us, whenever she wants. Maybe trust was broken, maybe it wasn't. Neither of you can claim to know for sure. As to regrets, we don't know whether there is anything to regret or not regret. Maybe they're really growing from it, but it's just so intense that Katherine has no desire to actively campaign that others try it. At the same time, now that it has happened for them, she thinks the benefits outweigh the gravitas of the challenge for them.

It seems obvious that Katherine is in a period of reflection and doesn't want us privy to her current meditations. C'est la vie. Hopefully, after she has time to process what has transpired, she will have some insightful pearls of wisdom to share with us. In the meantime, during her absense, I hope that our discussions amongst ourselves will do nothing to sour her mood toward her eventual return to blogging.

oldbear said...

Queen's Knight: ANOTHER strong and well reasonaed and worded take by you!

Dang homeboy, when you going to start laying down a blog of your own?

You have one fan alrady and you havent evcen started yet LOL.

Jon Green said...

queen'sknight1,

Reasonable conclusions based on what has been written aren't presumptuous. However, citing what other couples do and simply dismissing every hypothesis by stating "we don't know for sure" is misleading at best.

For example, although Elise Sutton may not be the only authority on this subject, she is one of the few reference resources Katherine links on this blog. Katherine even states on her masthead: " Elise Sutton, Emily Addison and Lady Misato have all made great contributions to thinking in this space. I hope my own ideas can carry on in the thoughtful tradition of these women."

Katherine does not link or provide specific reference to other authorities she may have consulted. In the absence of this information, and without knowing whether Katherine and her husband agreed that second and subsequent sessions with Jim could include her going solo, it's reasonable to assume she would have followed the ground rules advocated on Elise's website as a way of carrying on "in the thoughtful tradition" of Ms. Sutton.

Following the "thoughful tradition" of Elise Sutton would have included verifying that Jim tested negative for STD's before engaging in sexual activity with him the first time, and, regardless of who initiated the second experience, making sure that her husband was in the room when any sexual activity occurred. I invite Katherine to clear up any incorrect assumptions by posting specific details in these areas.

Queen'sKnight1 said...

jon green,

Your "conclusions" are NOT reasonable and they are truly presumptuous. Stating that "we don't know for sure," is completely accurate.

It is obvious that you are no believer in Female Authority. Your posts become more and more arrogant, revealing your macho male ego. Katherine's blog wasn't authored for your edification and she has no need whatsoever to accept this absurd I invite Katherine to clear up any incorrect assumptions by posting specific details in these areas. How obnoxious! It is males like you who give men such a low image among so many women. If you have such issues with Katherine's blog, you don't have to read it. Go somewhere else.

Jon Green said...

queen'sknight1,

My issues aren't with this blog, but with your attitude. How arrogant of you to assume I'm not in the lifestyle just because I won't bend over and take it from you. Get one thing straight: I am no man's bitch unless my Mistress tells me so, and she certainly has no plans to tell me I'm yours.

Let me also point out, since you obviously have forgotten, that this is not your blog, and it extremely presumptuous of you to tell any of Katherine's readers what to do. As a reader, I have right to request clarification and state my conclusions based on what I've read.

There are those who practice the lifestyle wherein the female outwardly behaves in a way that makes it appear she is disinterested in the needs and wants of the male, but inwardly is very caring and concerned about her partner's wellbeing. I don't see that in Katherine's second session with Jim and would like to know if that conclusion is incorrect. As others have posted previously, they may be using the experiences posted here as a guide to help decide their own actions, and I think it only fair to provide more substance of the behind-the-scenes issues and subsequent coping challenges faced by Katherine's husband.

Jon Green said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Queen'sKnight1 said...

jg,

All your verbose blather is nothing more than a projection of your own insecurities and need to control. You can spout your drivel all day, yet it is still you who has the arrogance to take a scant few details and draw full blown conclusions about the author. It is you who has the arrogance to say that the onus lies upon the author to clear up misperceptions that you may have. It is you who has the arrogance to think that she writes here solely for your benefit as though you were her only reader. It is you who has the arrogance to act as though you were her confessor and counselor, treating her as though she were a child who needs to bare all her inner thoughts to you in order that you may correct her path.

It is not I, but you, who seems to think that this is your blog. Others before you have come to this blog projecting their own pompous need to try to provoke its author. I told Katherine long ago by private e-mail that if she found any of my posts to be offensive to please delete them and that if she preferred that I not stand up to bullies like you, that I would be happy to comply with her wishes. Her reply? "Don't be silly."

No, it isn't my blog. Unlike you, however, I asked her personally about her wishes and assured her that I had no desire to write anything that would offend her. Now, just as I said to another poster, much like you, "Go home little boy, and grow up."

Jon Green said...

qk1,

I find your distress over my postings, desire to censor my opinions, and incorrect assumptions as to my motives (without fully reading my posts) enlightening as to who the child here really is.

Perhaps it's time for your Queen to let you out of your of your CB2000?

Queen'sKnight1 said...

jg,

LOL, you are such a riot. The only reason you came here was to pick a fight with Katherine and you're steamed that you got one with me instead. She certainly hasn't deemed you worthy of replying to you, has she? Just leave her alone. I will not reply further to any of your nonsense.

Jon Green said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jon Green said...

qk1,

I wouldn't call anything you posted much of a fight, more of an unfortunate distraction.

The points I made and questions I posted are valid and worthy of a thoughtful response.

You know what would be really interesting? To hear from Katherine's husband. I've read other femdom blogs where the husband contributed, would be interesting to get his take on this.

oldbear said...

Hi jon green, with all ue respect to you as an individual, and to your viewpoint, will you please go away?

The rest of us have reached a mutual equilibrium between LK's desire to tell and our collctive desire to know.

Where we are at will not satisfy you, so why dont you stop aruging with us and depart the scene?

Jon Green said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jon Green said...

oldbear,

My original post was to Katherine.
I didn't ask or expect guggler or qk1 to respond to it. They had the option to ignore it but chose to begin a debate.

I would like the same respect and courtesy you all ask for yourselves: let me peruse this blog quietly in peace. If I post something to Katherine, you may ignore it, as I intend to ignore all posts not directed at me. Fair enough?

guggler said...

Why is it bad to debate about these topics? I think with this controversion we can grow and learn much more. Katherine is not only offering her experience's with LFA, but a forum where many people seek and post answers.

I got to be much wiser concearning my cuckolding desires over the months as I followed Katherine's path. I was getting crazy with the cuckold-idea. But her catious and thoughtful approach to the topic and the slow realization, made me think much deeper. I owe this to Katherine and all of those who share their ideas and viewpoints.

If everybody would agree it would be a dull world. Thank God, we can talk and write and share our minds with other people. The same way we should learn to accept and tolerate the others oppinion, even if it might be opposing to ones own ideas. So, I plead you, jon and all the others to go on with your interesting postings!

Thanks.

Curious George said...

Guggler,

Well written. Debate is healthy, but at what point is it merely a way to mask criticism?

With regards to testing for STDs, I can only assume people like Lady K. are intelligent enough to safeguard their health.

It is something that needs to be addressed and I am more curious as to how they broached the subject rather than if.

Speaking from experience you can write all the rules you want, but once you enter the world of cuckoldry, the rule book goes out the window.

You might think you have a firm grip on how you'll react when your wife has sex with another man and you might truly believe it's easy for her to keep their relationship free of emotional intimacy, but you're only kidding yourself.

Sexual and emotional intimacy are intertwined. When you fantasize about being a cuck, never forget you are playing with fire.

If you as the cuck dictate every detail of her relationship with him, you're maintaining control which contradicts the philosophy of a female led marriage. She makes the rules and you live with them. You always have a choice to assert yourself, but then it wouldn't be a female led marriage.

Try imagining your reaction to this scene. You walk into the house and enter your living room. Seated in your chair is her boyfriend, pants at his ankles, his eyes half closed, his hands caressing her hair, guiding her head, as his girlfriend who is your wife, eagerly fellates him. He sees you and jerks startling her.

She takes her mouth off his cock, a string of saliva and precum leads from her mouth to his penis, and calmly tells you to go outside. She then returns to sucking his cock while you exit the house.

Ten minutes later the two of them walk out of the house and right past you. At his car they embrace and kiss telling each other "I love you."

You're jealous, feel slighted, and biggest surprise of all, your cock is throbbing with excitement. What she feels with him and with you are both real.

He leaves. She returns to you and thanks you for being polite and not putting up a fuss. She then pats the lump in your pants, takes you by the hand and leads you inside where she pulls her panties down, lifts her dress, sits down on your chair, and spreads her legs wide, telling you it's her turn.

You drop to your knees and as you feverishly lick her extremely wet pussy she presses a foot against your erection and rubs you to climax.

If you can handle those kinds of emotions and maintain a love for each other even as her love for him is more passionate consider yourself fortunate.

I have to laugh when people use the words rules and cuckold in the same sentence.

It's all about finding that delicious mix of pain and pleasure; think of it as sexual grace, perfect equilibrium, that we humans can never achieve.

LFA Skeptic said...

Interesting blog and comments.

Much LFA material is harmless fantasy. It can be damaging to relationships if either party in a relationship tries to make those fantasies a reality.

Wisdom is required before beginning down a road that seems easy at first but leads where you may not want to end up.

guggler said...

curious George,

your words were exciting indeed. And frightening. You describe the dilemma of LFA and especially cuckolding very well. Unfortunately most men are guided not by reason, but by excitment. To have an erection when you see your wife with somebody else, doesn't make it right nor healthy. It also doesn't show if you really want this or not.

But if you find out that you can live with this situation, then you can make the best of it. I fear that nobody can foresee the feelings that will bubble up, when a husband sees the wife pleased by another man. Possibly, in ways the husband can never compete with. One can spend a lifetime philosophizing about this topic. Finally it is the leap of faith that everybody has to take or leave. And indeed, it is a risky leap.

Of course I do NOT claim that STDs aren't a threat. I trust that Katherine and everybody else is really careful with this topic. One might can fix emotional troubles, but some STDs can crush human life. Maybe we should introduce the term: sane cuckolding. :)

be well
guggler

softncuddlyguy said...

Katherine,
I appreciate the protection you're offering your husband. But, it's been more than two months since the event occured. Isn't this enough time for healing?

Respectfully,
Soft N Cuddly Guy

Curious George said...

It's difficult to not make generalizations, but couples intrigued by the idea of a female led marriage share the following characteristics, a wife with a dominant streak in her and a husband who has or wishes to explore his submissive side.

A female led marriage is one of many possibilities available to make a relationship flourish. It won't work for many couples. There are women who want the man to be in charge and there are couples who prefer a more egalitarian arrangement.

Couples who proceed down the path of a female led marriage are going to face numerous forks in the road. A husband puts his wife in charge which on the face of it really isn't that significant. Look at all the marriages where husbands are in charge. There is still reciprocity and a division of labor.

The first fork is turning back on reciprocity and the division of labor. Remember absolute power absolutely corrupts. A woman finds herself in charge and the first thing she turns her back on is equity. Compounding the situation is she's married to a submissive man who encourages her behavior. He knows where it will lead but doesn't understand its ramifications.

Her husband begins to do more around the house and she increasingly does less. Her husband focuses on pampering her and the massages, foot rubs, pedicures, drawing of her bath, are all done for her, but not by her. He's getting nothing in return, but his reaction encourages her to take it further.

They now explore a sexually dominated wife led marriage. It starts out tame enough with massages and soon evolves into extended sessions of oral sex, under the guise of worship he tongues her bottom and pussy for hours.

He leaves her so satiated and exhausted she's really not interested in further sex. She finds if she declines he gets aroused. This is where the light bulb turns on.

This is not happening in a vacuum of not communicating for they are talking. What this pillow talk leads to is knowledge of each's really deep desires. A lot of men want to share their wife sexually, but the submissive man wants something deeper. He craves the abuse, being taken for granted titillates him.

She had no real idea he is wired in this manner, and don't be surprised if this realization doesn't freak her out, but when this desire surfaces, they are at another fork in the road.

It's very difficult to put this genie back in the bottle. The subject drops, then resurfaces. She tests him to see if he's genuine. She finds out he is; still she's reticent on which path to take. She has plenty of power; it would be easy to stay on the path more sane.

Some will, but most won't. Plenty of power isn't the same as all the power. She ponders the possibilities of having her cake and eating it too. His behavior supports her decision. He seems eager to forego intercourse; the more she flirts the harder he gets, the more he craves eating her and the more she craves the feel of his tongue.

Someone will enter their life. A man she feels sufficiently comfortable with emotionally to feel physically comfortable with. It's not just her attraction to him that pushes her along, but more importantly her desire to know what it feels like to have ALL the power.

Cuckolding is not the ultimate step, but damn close, to exercising 100 percent power in a marriage. The final step comes after the cuckolding. Does she stay or does she go?

I have corresponded with couples who were into hotwifing, but bailed because the husband couldn't handle the inevitable, emotional attachment between his wife and her lover. A hot wife husband is usually very dominant. Even if she's the only one having sex he's calling the shots.

A cuckold husband is submissive and he will be both drawn to and repelled at just how far his mistress can push the envelope. When he and his mistress reach that stage is where it can all unravel.

The only thing left for them to experience is she dumping him for another man.

What's really apparent to them both is that sexually he thrives on the humiliation, but there's a point at where it becomes unhealthy. I wonder if this is where Lady K and her cuck find themselves.

What worked for us is polyamory. She has him and she has me. It strikes a nice balance because she has needs that only a submissive male can meet and she has other needs only he can meet.

This arrangement is difficult to juggle when families are involved, but not impossible if it's something all three are amenable to. The unknown is Jim, Lady K's lover. What does he want out of this? He too has feelings for her. Is he content with his part in all this or does he want something more meaningful, marriage?

What if he has visions of Lady K and he in their house with the white picket fence filled with their children? How does he make this happen with her still married to her cuck? He doesn't.

In that area I feel fortunate as my wife's lover appears content with what they have. His age and maturity have more to do with it, but I wonder how my marriage would have gone if we had embarked on this journey decades ago.

I think I know the answer; she would be his wife and I her ex. Even today the thought of conceiving a child with him makes her wanton.

What's funny or pitiful is how aroused she being with him still makes me. It arouses her too because she enjoys the power she holds over me. Sexually she can't dominate him the way she can me and he enjoy it.
I guess that's why she keeps me around.

I apologize for being so long winded but the writing bug bit.

Wayne C. Rogers said...

Curious George,
I enjoyed your last comment. It was very insightful and to the point. In my last relationship, my former Mistress was always falling in love with her boyfriends and discussing marriage after only a few months of dating. A cuck has to always be aware that his wife, or Mistress, can fall in love with the other man, especially when the sex is great. Women usually equate fabulous sex with being in love. Of course, that's when the whole cuckold experience starts to unravel. Few submissive men want to have their wife, or Mistress, leave them for another male. That definitely takes the fun out of it.

oldbear said...

HI CG, thank you for a concise, insightful, and honest expose of what goes on in cuck marriage!

Hi Wayne, you may be submissive man who craves to be cucked, but you are a Stud! You are man enough to know what you are and what you want, and you have the stones to admit it in public. That makes you a true stud because you have courage and are tough uinder duress.

I wonder how many of these so called bulls would even dream of being dominant if they had even a 6 inch junk, let alone a smaller one.

You guys rock!

PAAX toi Lady K and her hubby/servidor.

softncuddlyguy said...

George,
Your observations about the LFA end game are very insightful. You seem regretful of pursuing this dynamic.

I believe, after many years of examiniation, that my desires for abuse stem from an unhealthy self identity due to my childhood. I crave humiliation euphoria (another phrase for "sub-space") as a poor substitute for true intimacy and love.

This is because my unhealthy self identity includes false core beliefs such as - I am a bad and unworthy person; If you really knew me, you wouldn't love me; I can't depend on others to meet my needs, so I have to depend on myself; and that sex or lust is my greatest need.

I am working now on such elements of identity and intimacy as learning to bond and learning healthy boundaries that include owning elements of self including attitude, feelings, behavior, thoughts, abilitities, desires, and choices.

This personal growth requires love, truth and time. It will change the dynamics of my marriage relationship away from placation to healthy identities and hopefully intimacy. It won't be easy. My wife may choose not to join my journey.

The material I'm studying includes such nuggets as - "Guilty compliance is never love, it is slavery." and "When choice is taken away, something less than human remains."

George, thank you for sharing your journey with us. I am trying to take a different path.

Jon Green said...

Katherine's husband has left her.

Here's a message she posted on the Perfectly Normal, Perfectly Natural blog. It appears as a follow-up comment to the 12-31-05 "We Get Letters" entry (here's the URL):

http://atomicblast.blogspot.com/2005/12/we-get-letters.html

**********************
Katherine West said:

Mr. Blackbird, my husband has left me. My female-led marriage is over.
**********************

My sincere sympathies to Katherine and her husband over the loss of their relationship.

Curious George said...

If true it only drives home the point of trust and how important it is to the sustainment of a relationship.

Was Lady K's cuck being honest when he wanted a female led marriage? Did he really want to be her cuck? Was a female led marriage something he thought would salvage his anemic marriage?

I can't get into Lady K's head, only interpret what I read which sounds like genuine feelings of love for her cuck. She loves her husband and was happy being married to him.

He sounds like the unhappy one. This breakup is why women are so leery of men's intentions. He played her.

A female led marriage and cuckoldry will not make a shaky marriage firm, but destroy it.

She fulfilled his stated desires and he repaid her love and devotion by burning him. All along he was topping from the bottom. Each time she exercised her supremacy was a nail in the proverbial coffin. He now has all the ammunition (a heartless bitch who went so far as to take another lover in front of him, a cruel woman who debased him, destroyed his manhood) he needs to confidently walk away.

My sympathies to you Lady K for having married poorly.

softncuddlyguy said...

I'm very sad to hear this news. I'm a Christian. I'll pray for them all.
Soft n Cuddly Guy

LFA Skeptic said...

curious george,

I always enjoy your posts and find them enlightening. In this particular case, I can't agree with your conclusion that Katherine's husband misled her.

My *guess* is that he got caught up too much in the fantasy. Also, the persistent application of brainwashing techniques on the husband created a sense that Katherine was the Master and that he really had no choice but to comply with her wishes. Ultimately, his participation in the cuckolding may have been based on what he perceived his duty was as a slave.

If this is true, then as Master, it was Katherine who took things past the point of no return.

Bottom line is that they each share some responsibility for this sad outcome.

oldbear said...

Hi Guys, I went to that post on that guys blog, I think Lady K was being sarcastic when she said her LFA marriage is over.

Note that her next sentence is something like : Mr Blackbird I would have given it all up to get with you.

Also her reply is not dated, so unless one of our regulars knows if that post by her is from around January or from around now we cant decide based on the date either.

If they are broekn up, botrh are repsonsible for the demise of their marriage, and it is hard to know how to apportion the blame if not a family insider.

Besides, IF IF IF they are apart, helping them is more important than pointing finges of blame.

PAX to all of you , and PREcaution!

Curious George said...

LFA Skeptic,

Lady K's husband wasn't brainwashed, delusional maybe, but brainwashed no. I'll bet you he was the one who first broached this subject. She, being the wiser, probably even hesitated, but to make him happy she read about femdom and thought what the heck, if this will make him happy I'll give it a shot. Who knows it might have awakened in her the realization that Emily and others might be on to something?

The point I'm trying to make is there's no brainwashing involved. Unless we hear from one of them we'll never know if their marriage is actually kaput, if he got caught up in something he emotionally couldn't deal with, if he went into this eyes wide open and suddenly came to the realization that being a submissive slave SUCKED and he wanted out but she didn't, or he was already unhappy in his marriage and decided to try something different to keep it together.

If true that the marriage is over, if success is the marriage stays intact, the experiment was undoubtedly a failure.

Wayne C. Rogers said...

Guys, I haven't been saying a whole lot on this website for the past few months, and I'll tell you why. Two different Dominant women who have read a good bit of this blog have expressed similar feelings to me that this is all a hoaz and that someone is having fun with us at our expense. I don't know if it's true, or not, but there have been some patterns here that stood out. Even iobey has noticed that something is unusual here. Though very well written and extremely exciting, not a lot has actually been said here since the end of October. At that time, Lady Katherine reached the point at which she was about to cuck her husband for the first time and then she suddenly stopped talking about it for almost two months because her husband had a problem with the after affects. There were many comments posted similar to those at this posting. Many readers questioned Katherine's motives as to why she wouldn't discuss what had happened. Eventually, Katherine did discuss the events. This then led into the second cuckolding experience over a period of time, and then there was once again an abrupt halt right when she had us at the point of no return. This has started to look like a pattern to me. I read what my two Dominant friends wrote and wondered about it. I read what iobey wrote and wondered about it. I've read all of the arguments that readers have posted here and now wonder if we have been snuckered. If this site is for real and Katherine's husband has left her, then my heart goes out to both of them for this is a sad state of events. All any of us can do is go by what was written here, which implied that both Katherine and her husband were enjoying the cuckold experience, though he had some issues to work through, which was certainly understandable. I admit to being totally shocked that her husband has left her, if it is true. None of us know for sure. Nothing in the blog suggested that there were serious problems in the marriage. And, it does seem as if both Katherine and her husband loved each other dearly. Why something couldn't be worked out between them, I don't know. People who love each other this much ususally find a way to work out the problems, rather than just walking away from the marriage. Evidently, there was more going on than we were allowed to know. I guess what this boils down to is that I don't know whether to hope that this has just been a huge joke on us, or that Katherine and her husband have really separated, which breaks my heart. What do the rest of you think? Am I totally off base here, or is there something going on that's questionable? This, of course, is Lady Katherine's blog, and she has the freedom to write whatever she wants on it. We don't have to read it, if we don't want to. I would like to see the blog continue because I have enjoyed it immensely. If the blog is true, I hope Katherine will be able to let us know what finally happened and how she and her husband are coping with it. This is important for other couples who are seeking to pursue a cuckolded relationship. Much can be learned by what happened to Katherine and her husband. Maybe we'll learn something in the next month or two. One thing I can say about Katherine's blog is that it has generated a lot of debate amongst its readers. All of you are extremely passionate about what has taken place here, and that's commendable, even if opinions differ.

Queen'sKnight1 said...

I think that posting may be a hoax. LK made references to her husband in the present tense during April. The purported reply on the other blog is to a post made last December. That is a bit unusual.

Further, the syntactical structure of the sentences in that reply are not in the same style as most of Katherine's writing. LK has a peculiar style which tends to be pretty formal. Having studied the syntactical structure of a number of forign languages, it is evident to me that LK has had some formal training in syntax and grammar. Though she makes an occasional spelling error, her style is quite skilled. The reply in question is far more vernacular.

Finally, the content of the reply is out of character for LK. This guy is not her type.

I openly acknowledge that I certainly could be wrong. I am not claiming to know for sure. Still, it does not all add up and at this point, I don't buy it.

Jon Green said...

queen'sknight1,

If you follow the URL to the message Katherine posted on the other blog, (http://atomicblast.blogspot.com/2005/12/
we-get-letters.html) you'll see that clicking on her name brings you back to this blog. If Katherine didn't post it, that means someone stole her password, which is highly unlikely.

While I don't doubt your command of syntax, there's nothing unusual about Katherine using a much more informal style to address her friend on his blog, and using a more technically correct style here when creating her LFA fiction.

Queen'sKnight1 said...

jon green,

Did you, or did you not recently post these words:

I would like the same respect and courtesy you all ask for yourselves: let me peruse this blog quietly in peace. If I post something to Katherine, you may ignore it, as I intend to ignore all posts not directed at me. Fair enough?

You just can't resist, can you? You obviously are not a man of your word. I stated that I didn't know for sure. You disavow your pledge and call Katherine's work fiction, as if it were a known fact. As I said to you once before, none of us knows for sure. The last time I said that, you went off on your sarcastic drivel. After several of us told you we'd like you to go away, you made your great declaration above. Are we now gonna hear more psychobabble and rationalization or can you eat the crow that you just cooked for yourself?

Jon Green said...

qk1, following my post that you referenced, guggler wrote:

"Why is it bad to debate about these topics? I think with this controversion we can grow and learn much more."

On further reflection, I realized guggler is right. We should be able to debate ideas in a thoughtful, respectful manner.

You, however, seem threatened by my ideas and the fact that I don't see the world the way you do. Too bad.

Queen'sKnight1 said...

Yep,

Just as I figured, rationalization. Always think you are right, period. Can't accept that you made a pledge, then went right back on it. Not even willing to acknowledge it. Threatened by you? God I got a good laugh out of that!!! Tee, hee, hee :-)

Queen'sKnight1 said...

HOAX EXPOSED

jon green made the statement that if one clicked on the link to the post in question, it would take the reader right back to Katherine's blog.

Well, I followed that link, and guess what? It's not Katherine's blog. It is set up to look somewhat like Katherine's blog, but even a cursory inspection shows it's a fake.

Katherine's real Blogspot ID # is 11200342. The ID # for the fake page is 16146606. Katherine registered in July of 2005. The fakir registered in December of 2005. The Real Katherine's profile has been viewed in excess of 14,000 times, the bogus one just over 400 times. Please readers, don't take my word for it, go check it out yourselves.

December is about the same time that a troublemaker named staronrock showed up here during Katherine's first period of time away. We had a few rounds due to his very rude treatment of LK. When Katherine returned, this staronrock suddenly disappeared. Later this jon greene shows up during Katherine's second period of absence.

As I examine their writings, it seems that the same style and neuroses appear in the writings of each. It is jon green who suddenly showed up here, claiming to have the evidence that Katherine's husband had left her. Well Mr. Green, you brought bogus information. I think that it is you who created a fake profile so that you could come stir things up during Katherine's absence. I think you intended to do this when Katherine was absent the first time. To your surprise, she returned and you were foiled. But you bided your time, and now that she is absent again, you decided to pull your little prank. I think that you were still all bent out of shape over our previous discourse. Some of the very first of your posts as jon green, took great effort to discredit my positions. It is not I who is threatened by you. That is a psychological projection of the manner in which you are so threatened by me. Now you have been caught.

I was sure the post was fake. I had practice in graduate school of distinguishing different writers by their syntactic styles-and in foreign languages at that. In your effort to provide evidence that the post was authentic, you pointed out that it linked back to Katherine's site. Thank you for doing that. I hate to tell you though, you didn't do such a great job creating your fake page. You are as amateurish as they come. Of course, if that post and link suddenly and mysteriously vanish, we'll know why and how, won't we? Wonder how long it'll take you to try to erase the evidence?

So, did it make you feel powerful to get these other guys all distraught over Katherine's plight? Did you like playing and toying with them, getting them to reveal their deepest emotions in this column?

Go away you little weasel. Stop trying to take advantage of a Goddess who is in a vulnerable position. You are no believer in LFA/FLR. You're just a pathetic grotesque little Gollum looking for attention.

RogerE said...

After reading some of these posts I am convinced all you people need to see a head doctor. You talk about being slaves to your wife as if it's something to be proud of. My God what happened to the man inside you. When you married your wives did they know that they were getting someone who wanted to be a slave or were they expecting a man who shoulders the responsibly of being a man. I am a man who had been married 43 years and my wife and share a life of love honor and trust. Neither of us are slaves to each other and that is how it should be. My wife respects me and I respect my wife. Never have we found the need to bring another person into our relationship to bring satisfaction to the relationship. If this cockolding thing is neccessary for you and your wife's relationship to bring saisfaction, than the core of the relationship is not on firm ground.
One of the posts by a Domme called you fellows fools, I guess that's what female led marriages lead to, a distinction of being thought of a a fool. No wonder these women are looking to cockold you guys, they are looking for real men. Get a life and start to think like a man 6this country needs mem not wimps.

Jon Green said...

qk1,

An amusing theory, but incorrect like everything else you write. BTW, what happened to your promise to "not reply further to any of my nonsense?" You're guilty of the very thing you accuse me of.

Even if it is a hoax, we are left with award-winning literotica writer Wayne Rogers's comments shared from two experienced Dommes, who apparently believe Katherine's writings are fictional. I trust his insight regarding the true nature of this blog.

oldbear said...

Hi Roger Ernst, to some extent I agree with what you say.

Most of this male fantasy stuff is best left as fantasy, but for some people the stuff described herein works really well! It can end in a train wreck for the marriage, but does not necessarily have to.

You make and EXCELLENT point about the man who did not tell his wife about his submissive desires BEFORE they got married abrogating his duty to behave like a non wimp man. Pleae note all submissive men are not wimps, and all Ladies are not happiest with a so called vanilla man for a spouse either.

I think you make a good point that many of the Ladies will eventually come to disrespect their oldman/hubby if the FemDom goes too far, but that depends on the wisdom of the Lady and her knowledge of LFA and of course on the nature of the hubbys submission.

But remeber you are looking at life through your experieinces and yor position in life.

What if a Lady finds out her old man cheated on her afte they have a few kids. He is basically ok to live with except he cant keep his pecker in his pants. What is wrong with her putting him in chastity, cropping him til he babbles a tearful apology, and taking over the family authority and money? NOTHING..... If it saves their marriage, allows him to expunge his guilt, and keeps the kids from growing up under divorce.

I am a mostly dominant switch who has strong reservations about some of the more extreme humiliations and am genrally against cuckolding.

I believe in the snactitiy of church wedding and the subsequent marriages, so much of what is describved here is off limits for me. Much of what is left is off limits because eithe I or my wife are ddis-interested in it.


But Roger, that does not mean I cant learn from the people here, or empathize with them, or TRUTH be known use their escapades as hot FANTASY fodder for better sex with my incredible wife or my minita--aka--"Rosita La Palma"

If your way works for you, more power to you, and I ma sure you mean well by your heads up to the sub-men here.

Please remember most of these guys have struggled with what they feel for decades, and what they feel or crave is not some fad or whim. It is part of who they are deep inside. It midght be wiser for them to supress it or sublimate the associated drive in anothe direction, but please dont presume to think they have never pondered objections sucha s yours.

Peace to you, Roger, OB.

Wayne C. Rogers said...

Roger,
You do have a point! My first wife told me over thirty years ago that I needed to get professional help for my pervert inclinations. Like Oldbear wrote, I (and probably others like me) have been fighting these desires for a very long time and they don't seem to be going away any time soon. Most marriages today don't seem to last more than five years or so. I don't know if a Female Led marriage is having any better success. I doubt if any statistics have been done yet on this particular subject. I know that I need to be with a woman who shares my desire to be in a marriage based on Female Domination. I just can't see myself getting into another vanilla relationship and being unhappy and making my mate unhappy. This is what I need in a relationship, so this is what I'm looking for. It's wrong to equate male submission to a woman as being weak, just like it's wrong to equate being gay as being a whimp. Men come in all types of packages. Inner strength also comes in different types of packages. Men can be strong in many different ways. A submissive male can demonstrate strength in the work force, or when his family is attacked. True, some might be whimps, but certainly not all.

Jon Green,
Thanks for the compliment, but I don't think I've ever won any awards for my erotica. At least none that I'm aware of. I would be the first to say that my writing, while good to a certain extent, is nothing but masturbation material for the submissive male and maybe for a few Dominant women. I do try raise the level of my fiction above what's being written out there today with decent characters and a look at the emotions that can be experienced when in a Dominant Female relationship, but that's all. I write for my own pleasure first and then the pleasure of the readers. And, I have to be honest in that there are a lot of people who think what I write is pure crap. I never answer their e-mails :-)) I wouldn't advise anyone to trust my instincts about Katherine's blog. I could very well be wrong about everything. In fact, I hope I am. Use your own judgement. Still, I intend to keep coming back here because I love Katherine's writing, and I also get a kick out of the comments from the readers. When Katherine doesn't post for a long period of time, the comments are what keeps the blog moving along. You know the old saying about an opinion being like an asshole--everybody has one. We all seem to differ in our opinions here, and that's okay. It gives us food for thought. No one opinion is better than anybody else's. I can't help but wonder what Katherine thinks about all of this. What would her opinion be :-))

RogerE said...

I happened on this web site by reading several other web sites relating to female led relationships. A friend of mine recently mentioned these web sites to me and that started the process of investigating the life style. My wife and I are not into this type of life style and we don't have a desire to pursue this type of relationship. My interest is primary for self awareness purposes and to further understand people and what drives them to certain behavior. As a retired man I don't have much to do except read and learn. I made certain comments on a earlier post in regards to what I vieweded as alien behavior to me. I do intend to offend anyone, but simply to state my opinion of what I thought was inappropriate behavior of men. You must remenber I am from the old school and view things much different that the young men do nowdays. Enough said about that. Fellows, as you get older and I think Old bear will testify to this, it natural to become more submissive to your wife. She after all has borne your childern and lived with you for many years and put up with Macho ways and your poor habits for a long time. But, through all of this she kept sight of the fact that you as a indivual improved as a person each day. Most women have within to them the capacity to see you as what you really are and for that reason they keep you as a mate. I realize now how big of a jerk I was when was younger and the hell I put my wife through because of my selfish ways. The point I am trying to make is what you are today is not neccessary what you will be in the future. Your wife sees this and will keep that in mind as you grow together as a couple. Most women want a man they can depend on to share the burden of life and that means doing your part as a husband. I know because my wife has said this many times. She tells me over and over, she made one decision in her life and that was to marry me and now she doesn't have to make anymore decisions. I accept that responsibility and do my part of what she wants. I do not know if my wife is typical of most women, but I suspect she probably is. Marriage is not like a train ride where you hook your car on to the engine and get a free ride. It carries with it the responsibility of decision making and work, work work. I know because I have 43 years of pulling and you know what, I am dam proud of it. Remember that, when you turn the reins over to your wife. I realize I may not be typical of some men and don't have these deep feelings of submission, but many times I felt this desire to have my wife do the decisions. But, I knew my wife depended on me and I kept that in mind. Women by nature want a strong partner, someone they can rely on to protect them, cuddle them and feel safe in your arms. Their are exceptions no doubt, certain women are as strong as men and even stronger. But, My guess is this is a far and few between. Sex is one thing, real life is another, as a man you must know what the limits to each of these are and stay within the bounds. Most of the female led marriages seem to lead to cockolding somewhere along the line. Why, It seems to me the women no longer views her mate as a ture lover and helpmate in the marriage. I feel once you cross that line, trouble lays ahead because you now are no longer her first consideration in hers needs as a women. My opinion, it might not be on target, however I would venture to say it didn't miss by much.

Take care everyone
Stated as a vanilla man

Queen'sKnight1 said...

When I checked last night, the counterfeit profile had been viewed 432 times. As of now, it has been viewed 477 times. The evidence has been examined 45 times by up to that many people. jg says, if it is a hoax... Nevertheless, the facts remain: the ID numbers differ, the view counts differ, the registration dates differ, the counterfeit is linked to no blog, and it is jon green who brought the counterfeit post and profile to us, claiming that LK's husband had left her.

Friday, John Allen Mohammed, acting as his own attorney in the sniper case, made the claim during his closing arguments that all the evidence against him was fabricated, that he was innocent and being framed. The vast majority of people have enough common sense to put two and two together. In spite of that, compulsive liars just can't give it up.

Jon Green said...

I'm afraid queen'sknight1 has found me out: yes, I am the Virginia Sniper :-)

oldbear and Wayne, great on-topic posts.

Roger, for a more sane view of a female led marriage, please check out Venus On Top at:

http://www.venus-on-top.com/

softncuddlyguy said...

Given the serious nature of the recent comments on this blog, Katherine's silence is deafening.
Soft N Cuddly Guy

hish06 said...

This author said some time ago (perhaps before anyone else for what it is worth) that "Katherine" and her "husband" may be the same person. Nothing wrong -- this is the Internet after all where everybody's collective unconscious comes out. Roger is right -- he and his wife are the "norm". What would chocolate ice-cream be if there was not vanilla in the first place?

iobey said...

This must be a record; 59 responses to a four line posting that basically says nothing.

Wayne C. Rogers said...

I was thinking the exact same thing, except the count is now sixty-one. Whoever Lady Katherine is, we'll have to ask her the secret to this phenominum!

NYCuckold said...

Why is there so much traffic for such a small blog entry? I for one can't get enough on the topic of cuckolding. The writing of the blog entries and the lively discussions afterwards has brought me back to view daily. I have previously visited a site that had tremendous traffic until the spammers have taken over and killed the site - http://www.adultcommunitiesonline.com

The forum is located off this website and can be reached by adding this to the end of the above URL -/forums/cuckold/index.html. The result is a blank page. In the past this was filled with numerous cuckold forum entries. I do miss reading this.

If other people have other sites that can fill the void, publish these sites. Having alternative sites would be helpful while we wait for another blog entry. That's if, there will be one....

SubDisposition said...

NYCuckold,

You can check out this cuckolding forum category at Chastity Lifestyle:

http://www.chastitylifestyle.com/forum/viewforum.php?sid=&f=7

The "level" of converstaion is not as high as this blog. But it's something.