I Regret Nothing

Let me clarify my last post with this short, but hopefully edifying comment. I regret nothing. As I feel more competant in my ability to communicate my evolving thoughts and emotions on this topic, I will post a more comprehensive comment.

I Do Not Advocate Cuckolding

Let me make something perfectly clear.

Please know that while I share my own experiences with cuckolding on this site, I do not advocate that anyone take this step. It has been more emotionally charged and complex than I ever realized. Yes, my husband and I have grown through our experience, but it has not been without consequences.

Everyone that reads this blog may arrive at your own conclusions and take whatever course you feel appropriate in your own relationship, but do not look to me to bless your decisions.

Starting Small

While this site is not intended as a forum for those seeking to initiate loving female authority with their vanilla wives, I do have a generic recommendation. Start small.

Do the little things necessary to build towards a wife-led relationship. Do not expect to bring up cuckolding and to have her jump at the opportunity. For most women, the simple step of assuming the role of head of household requires a signficant shift in thinking.

In the end, it is the knowledge that she is in control and you are her obedient servant that is the true blessing to a submissive man. Cuckolding is only an intense demonstration of that reality.

Surprised

I was surprised by the very large number of private emails I got seeking to bring submissives, dominants and bulls together. The following is a quick summary of those seeking others. I have excluded the largest category, which was submissives seeking dominant women, but I am maintaining a list privately. I may not reply to all the emails I get, but I will do my best to selectively forward emails to those with sincere and thoughtful comments.

Miami: Couple seeking Bull
Norther New Jersey: Dominant woman seeking submissive
Atlanta: Dominant couple seeking other dominant couples and females
Southern California: Couple seeking Bull and also dominant woman seeking submissive
Grand Rapids: Couple seeking Bull
Houston: Dominant woman seeking submissive
Cincinnati: Dominant woman seeking submissive

Men Seeking to Be Bulls

Although I do not recall ever receiving a public post on the topic, I get email after email offering to be be the Bull in my cuckolding activities. I can tell you with absolute certainty that I would never entertain meeting up with a man that solicited his services to me on this blog.

On a related note, I have never received an email from a woman asking me to help connect her with a submissive man. While I might be more inclined to help in these cases, I think that those women that are self-aware of their dominant nature attract submissive men like moths to a flame and need no help from me.

Interesting Finding

The following appeared in an on-line version of a UK paper. It suggests that giving a woman control of her sexuality is as strong an aphrodesiac as the newly discovered and much touted chemical compound, PT-141. I know that for me, our foray into LFA has awakened a level of sexual intensity that I had forgotten existed.

The funny thing is, it appears there's a certain humanlike subjectiveness to the sex life of lab animals as well. When Jim Pfaus tested PT-141 on his female rats, he based his experimental design partly on the work of Raul Paredes, a fellow rat sexologist testing the effects of something more elusive: personal autonomy. That's a tricky thing to measure, but it can be done. Paredes did it like this: first, he looked at rat couples living in standard, box-shaped cages and recorded the details of their sexual behaviour. Then, he altered the cages in only one particular: he divided them into two chambers with a clear wall broken only by one opening, too small for the males to get through but just right for the females. Architecturally it was a minor change, but what it did for the females was huge. It let them get away from the males whenever they chose to, and thereby made it entirely their choice whether to have sex. Paredes then observed the rats' behaviour in this altered setting. Here's what he found: the effects of giving a female rat greater personal control over her sex life are essentially the same as those of giving her PT-141. Autonomy, in other words, is as real an aphrodisiac as any substance known to science.

Femdom "Buzz-killers"

My husband made an interesting comment to me last night. I asked him to bring me a snack from the kitchen, and when he returned, I very unconsciously thanked him. He told me that this was a real "buzz-killer" for him, and he preferred to told what to do (not asked) and receive no thanks for his service.

Generally, this is exactly what I do with him. However, in the outside world, I am conditioned to use my manners. Occasionally I will slip and use them inside the home. I found it interesting that he shared his observation that good manners are prone to take him out of subspace.

Touched and moved

I am actually touched by the outpouring of emotion that my recent post elicited in some of you. It makes me realize that while I discuss my husband's frailties and the pleasure I take in playing upon them, I tend to leave my own off of these pages. I have grown in my role as a dominant woman, but I still have my own insecurities with which to deal. In fact, my dominance helps me deal with them in a way I am only starting to understand. I now need my husband's devotion - and it would seem that I need it expressed in ever intensifying acts of submission - just as he needs my authority.

The body worship, the massages, they still occur with the same frequency as they did when I originally started posting. Forgive me that I have not thought it important to continue to right about what is very much habit in our household. I think we need to spend time enjoying these simple and delightful pleasures and focus less on the emotional thunder of our recent adventures.

Other Outlets

There are many of you who read my blog, and I am pleased that there is a dedicated group that posts comments. I assure you that I enjoy these comments and take them to heart.

If there are men out there that fantasize of being cuckolded, but have never experienced it, tell me what outlets do you have for your fantasies. You can read this blog, and there are other sites that discuss the topic, but is that enough? Are there videos that are intelligently made? It is not like you can "buy" a cuckolding experience like you can a sexual and even a femdom experience. By necessity cuckolding must be done by someone with whom you are close.

Your comments are welcome.

New Direction

Forgive my rather abrupt conclusion to the story that I was telling. I have decided not to go further for the near future. While my husband and I are getting back to our old routines, I think it best to refrain from sharing the final details of our night with Jim.

Another opportunity for discussion, however, presents itself. Remember Mindy and Paul, the young couple that have recently begun leading a wife-led marriage? Mindy and I have again been emailing and talking on the telephone. It seems that there is a specific gentleman with whom she is acquainted that has awoken her own desire to cuckold her husband. While I have advised against it at length, I am considering a project where I script a cuckold scene that will serve as a proxy for the real thing. I doubt I would post it publicly (so do not consider your own selfish motives), but I am curious as to what you all might think of such an idea.

Clarification and Comment

I would not describe my husband's post-cuckold experience as a melt-down. The experience, however, does create a very heightened state of emotional sensitivity in him that requires intense nurturing on my part. It connects us in a way that nothing else can substitute.

I certainly do not allow him to orgasm in the moments and days that follow the event, but rather will save his orgasm as a symbolic (and even bio-chemical) conclusion to the stage of emotional intensity in which we now find ourselves.

Delay for Good Cause

While there is more story to tell, I am delaying the details. The after effects of the evening on my husband's emotions are as they were before, and he is always my priority.

An incredible evening continues...

Jim's domineering tone with my husband continued. Had I become uncomfortable with it, I would certainly have acted, but as it was, I was enjoying it. He insisted that my husband strip down and kneel before refilling our wine glasses. Still laying atop Jim, I rolled onto my side and rested my head on one hand. The other hand danced across Jim's chest hairs. I smiled and kept my stare on my husband.

Jim very matter of factly informed my husband that he had already had his way with me. I somewhat whimsically apologized for not waiting until my husband returned. I ran my finger inside of my body and moistened it. I extended it to my husband's mouth and let him taste the warm cocktail that our passion had produced. His eyes closed as his mouth wrapped around my finger.

Jim repositioned me so that I lay flat against his body. I kissed him and raised my hips above his waist. My husband took my cue, and without waiting for permission, moved himself into position behind me. I felt his mouth explore the warmth between my legs as my own mouth was locked onto Jim's. I lowered my hips and I felt Jim's cock hardening against my abdomen. I pushed my body forward slightly so that I could feel his erection and my husband's mouth between my legs at the same time. I then felt my husband put his hand between my legs. He was pushing me open and guiding Jim's cock inside me. I moaned and began a rocking motion.I could feel my husband struggle to keep him mouth between my legs.

This was the wild abandon of inhibitions that when it finally ends, you cannot ever recall -- and certainly cannot articulate -- the experience exactly as it feels at the time.

Once a cuckold...

As is my custom, I will extend the details over several posts. It begins here.

My dearest husband obsesses over my physical pleasure and the solace that he finds in his unconditional surrender to me. Whatever uncomfortable moments he had in the days and weeks that followed his initial cuckolding experience seem to have been forgotten in the grip of his insatiable desire to repeat his ultimate act of submission.

My husband had prepared a wonderful meal for us. However, being sensitive to the awkwardness of his presence, he left his wife and lover to enjoy the meal without him. This was at around 7:30 in the evening. He promised to return by 9:30, and bowed gracefully to both of us as he headed out the door. I certainly had every intention of waiting until my husband returned before initiating any intimacy with Jim. It was only a combination of the wine and Jim's warm breath on the back of my neck as he kissed me and played with hair that changed my plans. When my husband returned, as promised at 9:30, I was laying on the couch wearing only my special necklace, quite passionately ravaged, and stretched listlessly across the length of Jim's own naked body.

Jim surprised me by calling for my husband to bring us more wine. Jim's submissive curiousity, to which he had hinted in his email, did not seem so easily exploited as that of my husband's. I placed my hands between my legs. I could feel Jim's seed already leaking onto my thighs. I knew, however, that most of it was still inside me. I could feel Jim's cock start to harden again beneath me. Apparently he too was enjoying the presence of such precise power exchange.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

My husband informed me that we will have a guest for dinner Saturday night. It should be quite an evening.

No Meaningful Update

I am writing this post just to keep everyone on top of the situation relative to my husband's currently open invitation to call Jim.

He has not said anything else about since I first mentioned it to him. We have spent the last few evenings just enjoying each others company. We have played tennis, watched a movie with some friends, and lived a decidedly uneventful life. If not for my evening massages, there would be nothing out of the ordinary about our time together.

Invitation

Last night, with a glass of wine in my hand and my husband nuzzled between my legs, I brought up the topic of Jim. I told him that I had recently been thinking about that evening. I asked my husband, now that some time has passed, what his thoughts were on the events that unfolded that night.

My husband was certainly quiet on the topic. However, I could see that it clearly aroused him. This was evident not only in the reappearance of his erection, but also a certain tenor that his body language takes as he drifts into subspace. I asked him to come up on the couch and kiss my breasts. This provided me an opportunity to hold his erection in my hand as we spoke more.

I asked him if he liked being my cuckold, even if it is something that we only occasionally practice. Of course he replied that he did. This, after all, is his nature... even if the actual activity takes some getting used to. I asked him if had ever fantasized about the night we spent with Jim and what specific activities might be the subject of his fantasies. He confessed that he often thought of the moment he first tasted Jim's seed from my body.

I told him that I had been in recent contact with Jim. However, I told him that I did not intend to speak with Jim again any time soon. The exception to this, however, would be if my husband took the initiative to call Jim and invite him to our home. This is where I left it. We will see what happens.

Reading Old Posts

I am sitting here drinking my second... maybe third... (large) glass of wine. My dearest husband has given me a glorious massage and spent more than an adequate amount of time adoring me with even more glorious sexual attention. I have sent him to bed with a golden nightcap of my own making and a very well-deserved orgasm to end an evening of his perfect devotion.

I have spent the better part of the last thirty minutes re-reading old posts. I am quite aroused by my reminiscing. As I now look over at my husband sleeping so peacefully, I cannot help but recall with such vivid precision how he knelt before me and so lovingly drank my lover's seed from me.

I also confess that I have just emailed Jim. I have actually exchanged a number of emails since our first encounter. An unexpected consequence of that evening is that I have awakened a submissive side in Jim that he never knew he had. His emails to me are filled with a very sincere curiousity about the glory of serving as my submissive. If he were here now, I would have him worship me only as long as I could resist a command to ravage me. What a wonderful treat it would be to again be taken and adored.

Perhaps tomorrow I will awake and read old posts again... but without the rose colored tint of this third glass of wine.

A Night Out

We went to the black-owned restaurant and club that I had mentioned in an earlier post. While we had a nice dinner, the entire evening seemed staged and awkward. It was as if we expected to walk into the building and become besieged by beautiful black men approaching us to play into some scripted scenario. It was nothing like this. Honestly, I am a little ashamed and was reluctant to even post this brief recap of the evening.

The best part of the night was going home to a wonderful massage and the pleasures of my husband's mouth on my body.

A Young Couple's New Beginning

When I originally began this blog, it was intended as a forum for loving female authority in all of its many facets. I feel, however, that ever since I first mentioned cuckolding, that the focus has remained on this one very intense dimension of the lifestyle. For my own part, this has been therapeutic, and I am sure that for many of you it has been a great source of interest. However, let us not forget that there is more to life, and more to LFA, than mere cuckoldry.

To that end, I want to share the barest outline of a correspondence that I have entered into with a young woman who contacted me via the email address that I provided in an earlier post (kath_west "at" kittymail.com). While I have received a great many emails since first posting that address, and have appreciated most all of them, I have received nearly none from women. I should not say that this surprises me, but it is a fact worth noting.

The particular email exchange to which I now refer began about a month ago, and I post my comments on it now because I think it is exactly the sort of success story that many of you hope to achieve in your own relationships. Let me also add that I have confirmed that this story is not fabricated by a male who is corresponding with me and signing as a woman. I actually spoke to "Mindy" this weekend on the telephone.

Mindy met and married her husband Paul approximately three years ago. While Paul had been very aware of his desire to submit to women for a very long time, he never mentioned it to Mindy during their entire courtship and even the first year of their very happy marriage. It was only when Paul discovered the Around Her Finger site (www.aroundherfinger.com) and ended up buying Mindy some of the material that they sell on their Lulu page that Mindy learned about LFA. Mindy reacted quite positively to the material, and agreed to at least try out the dynamic of a female-led household. According to Mindy, it worked very well for several months, but soon Paul began to lose some of the enthusiasm that he demonstrated early in their new lifestyle choice.

Mindy pursued advice on the internet and ultimately decided on a course of action that went beyond the prescriptions offered by Emily Addison. It was on Elise Sutton's site (www.femalesuperiority.com) that she first learned about more advanced topics such as strap-on play, male chastity devices, and cuckoldry. For Mindy, the male chastity device and the strap-on play ended up being an incredibly effective combination in cementing authority in their home.

Mindy has indicated that her practical experience in LFA has been remarkably similar to my own. She receives the evening massages and oral/anal worship that I also enjoy. She has also made effective use of golden showers and had some of the same initial challenges with this activity that my husband and I experienced. She has not practiced cuckoldry, and says she is quite certain she never will, but she has discussed it with her husband. It is clearly a turn-on to him, but he also prefers that it never move beyond mere fantasy. We have discussed several ways that she can extend the fantasy without ever following through on the reality.

The message of Mindy's story is that LFA is within reach for many of you that seek it in your own lives. Do not continue to live a lie by keeping these feelings from your wife. Open, share and grow in your submission. She deserves your obedience and you know you will be happier under her guidance and control.