I will very likely return to post the details of the cuckolding experience. I have written much of that post, but I am saving it for a later date. Let me talk a little bit about the aftermath of the experience as I feel that many of you may be interested in what is happening since the dust has settled.
Let me first say that we have not repeated the activity since the first encounter. Even I underestimated the intensity of this experience on my husband's submissive psyche. I do not say this to mean that the impact was negative. It certainly had the desired effect of creating a new high water mark in regard to his sub-space experience. However, I do not want this to be commonplace and jeopardize the opportunity to again hit or even exceed the emotional depth charge that it was.
I look at him differently. This is a beautiful man that has now made the ultimate surrender to me. In an evening, he layed ego, centuries of tradition, and any pretext for returning to a mainstream life at my feet. In exchange he received the perfect knowledge that he is completely and irrevocably mine.
He looks at me differently as well. It is as though I control a chemical release into his brain that he will forever need in order to feel happy and complete. Some might say the same about love, but I have known both, and I prefer this.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Thursday, November 10, 2005
I have not lost interest
I have not lost interest. However, while many of the posts on this blog have been very supportive, I have been adequately offended by enough of them that I have had many second thoughts about continuing this blog. I will likely return to posting, but I am not yet ready to do so.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Cuckold Adventure Continues
My husband opened the door and welcomed my new lover into the home.
He had of course seen Jim before at the charity party where Jim and I first met. However, these were very different circumstances. I had coached Jim to be very matter of fact with my husband. Apparently all that transpired prior to my husband returning to the bathroom to announce Jim's arrival was a very non-descript introduction and hand-shake.
I gave myself one final look in the mirror and headed out to meet Jim. My husband followed behind me. We greeted each other with a small kiss and Jim was quick to compliment me. He looked very good also. He wore a pair of wool dress slacks with a tight-fitting black shirt and autumn-colored sport coat.
I instructed my husband to pour Jim and I a glass of wine. Then, at the risk of making Jim a little uncomfortable, I asked both of the boys to join me in the living room for a quick chat. I sat next to Jim on the couch and my husband took a seat in the high-backed chair opposite the two of us. I put one arm around Jim and held my wine in my other hand.
I told my husband that I had explained our marital arrangement with Jim. However, to make sure that there was perfect clarity on the matter, I asked my husband to again explain our situation. My husband was clearly nervous. He started by saying that our marriage is female-led. He chooses to submit to me because this is what makes both of us happiest. Part of that submission, he went on, includes my absolute right to take on additional sex partners. While I had never done this before, my right to do so was not to be questioned. Furthermore, my husband conceded that he very much wanted this to happen. To the extent that it was ok with the two of us, he would like to watch, and if possible, assist in any way that we required.
At this point, I asked my husband to kneel in front of me. I told Jim that my husband's involvement would be totally his (Jim's) call. In truth, I had already discussed this with Jim and we had agreed that my husband would participate. I leaned into Jim and we kissed each other passionately. For a moment, Jim's hands slid up my skirt and warmed the space between my legs. I asked Jim if he was still ok with our plans to go out to dinner and return afterwards. Jim was indeed very enthusiastic.
Now I very dramatically licked the rim of my wine glass. Then I put the glass in my two hands and extended it down to my husband. I told my husband that he has one last chance to express any concerns. Or, by taking a sip of the wine, he would seal his fate and forever be my cuckold. He took my cue and sipped the wine that I offered him. I told him to stay on his knees and watch us as we rose to leave the house. The last thing I told him as we headed out the door was that when we returned, Jim was going to fuck me.
He had of course seen Jim before at the charity party where Jim and I first met. However, these were very different circumstances. I had coached Jim to be very matter of fact with my husband. Apparently all that transpired prior to my husband returning to the bathroom to announce Jim's arrival was a very non-descript introduction and hand-shake.
I gave myself one final look in the mirror and headed out to meet Jim. My husband followed behind me. We greeted each other with a small kiss and Jim was quick to compliment me. He looked very good also. He wore a pair of wool dress slacks with a tight-fitting black shirt and autumn-colored sport coat.
I instructed my husband to pour Jim and I a glass of wine. Then, at the risk of making Jim a little uncomfortable, I asked both of the boys to join me in the living room for a quick chat. I sat next to Jim on the couch and my husband took a seat in the high-backed chair opposite the two of us. I put one arm around Jim and held my wine in my other hand.
I told my husband that I had explained our marital arrangement with Jim. However, to make sure that there was perfect clarity on the matter, I asked my husband to again explain our situation. My husband was clearly nervous. He started by saying that our marriage is female-led. He chooses to submit to me because this is what makes both of us happiest. Part of that submission, he went on, includes my absolute right to take on additional sex partners. While I had never done this before, my right to do so was not to be questioned. Furthermore, my husband conceded that he very much wanted this to happen. To the extent that it was ok with the two of us, he would like to watch, and if possible, assist in any way that we required.
At this point, I asked my husband to kneel in front of me. I told Jim that my husband's involvement would be totally his (Jim's) call. In truth, I had already discussed this with Jim and we had agreed that my husband would participate. I leaned into Jim and we kissed each other passionately. For a moment, Jim's hands slid up my skirt and warmed the space between my legs. I asked Jim if he was still ok with our plans to go out to dinner and return afterwards. Jim was indeed very enthusiastic.
Now I very dramatically licked the rim of my wine glass. Then I put the glass in my two hands and extended it down to my husband. I told my husband that he has one last chance to express any concerns. Or, by taking a sip of the wine, he would seal his fate and forever be my cuckold. He took my cue and sipped the wine that I offered him. I told him to stay on his knees and watch us as we rose to leave the house. The last thing I told him as we headed out the door was that when we returned, Jim was going to fuck me.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Cuckold's Evening: Part 1
I am going to have to do this in pieces or I will never get around to finishing it. I have not yet decided what level of detail I will get into as the story progresses.
Friday afternoon, I had gone out and had my nails done while my husband was at work. He got home early, around 5:30, and I came in the door from the nail salon right after him. He greeted me at the door with a friendly peck on the cheek. I embraced him and turned his friendly peck into a deep, romantic kiss. Then I asked him to go off into the bathroom and run me my bath. When I came back to the bathroom, he was naked and kneeling beside the tub waiting for me to arrive. He helped me out of my clothes, but before getting in the water, I asked him to neatly trim the patch of hair between my legs with the clippers. He did this and then cleaned up the mess while I sat in the tub to soak.
He washed my entire body including my hair. He helped me out and wrapped me in two plush towels. I asked him to get into my bath water and clean himself up while I got started getting myself ready. He was not in the tub long. He was cleaned up, out and straightening things up as quickly as he possibly could. He definately wanted to participate in the rest of my preparations for the evening. I did my own hair and started on my make-up while he sat behind me planting soft kisses on my bottom. I told him to keep his tongue in his mouth as I did not think it would be fair to Jim otherwise.
My husband helped me into my hose, my skirt, my top, and my shoes. I told him to go get himself ready while I finished primping. He put on a pair of simple dress khakis and a starched, white button-down shirt. He returned to the bathroom and stood beside me just staring at me. He told me I looked beautiful. I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. I kissed him very softly on the lips. I told him I loved him very much. I told him that I was doing all of this because I wanted to do it, but I was doing it with the understanding that it was also what he wanted. I asked him if this was correct, and he nodded. He told me he loved me also. Then he told me that in submitting to me he feels intensely loved in a way that overwhelms him and satisfies him in a way that he could only describe as primal... as spiritual and physiological at the same time. He said he knew that he would feel that love on this night and in fact said he felt it as he spoke. I handed him the necklace that we had bought on our shopping trip and asked him to put it on me. I told him that I was wearing it for this occasion, and I wanted it to always remind him of this evening. He held it to his lips and kissed it before fastening it around my neck.
I told him to go into the kitchen and open a bottle of wine while I finished up. I asked him to set out two glasses, but not to pour anything just yet. I was still primping in front of the mirror when I heard the doorbell ring.
Friday afternoon, I had gone out and had my nails done while my husband was at work. He got home early, around 5:30, and I came in the door from the nail salon right after him. He greeted me at the door with a friendly peck on the cheek. I embraced him and turned his friendly peck into a deep, romantic kiss. Then I asked him to go off into the bathroom and run me my bath. When I came back to the bathroom, he was naked and kneeling beside the tub waiting for me to arrive. He helped me out of my clothes, but before getting in the water, I asked him to neatly trim the patch of hair between my legs with the clippers. He did this and then cleaned up the mess while I sat in the tub to soak.
He washed my entire body including my hair. He helped me out and wrapped me in two plush towels. I asked him to get into my bath water and clean himself up while I got started getting myself ready. He was not in the tub long. He was cleaned up, out and straightening things up as quickly as he possibly could. He definately wanted to participate in the rest of my preparations for the evening. I did my own hair and started on my make-up while he sat behind me planting soft kisses on my bottom. I told him to keep his tongue in his mouth as I did not think it would be fair to Jim otherwise.
My husband helped me into my hose, my skirt, my top, and my shoes. I told him to go get himself ready while I finished primping. He put on a pair of simple dress khakis and a starched, white button-down shirt. He returned to the bathroom and stood beside me just staring at me. He told me I looked beautiful. I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. I kissed him very softly on the lips. I told him I loved him very much. I told him that I was doing all of this because I wanted to do it, but I was doing it with the understanding that it was also what he wanted. I asked him if this was correct, and he nodded. He told me he loved me also. Then he told me that in submitting to me he feels intensely loved in a way that overwhelms him and satisfies him in a way that he could only describe as primal... as spiritual and physiological at the same time. He said he knew that he would feel that love on this night and in fact said he felt it as he spoke. I handed him the necklace that we had bought on our shopping trip and asked him to put it on me. I told him that I was wearing it for this occasion, and I wanted it to always remind him of this evening. He held it to his lips and kissed it before fastening it around my neck.
I told him to go into the kitchen and open a bottle of wine while I finished up. I asked him to set out two glasses, but not to pour anything just yet. I was still primping in front of the mirror when I heard the doorbell ring.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Breakfast
My husband served breakfast to Jim and me before Jim left late this morning. I will post a more detailed update when time and energy permit. For now let me just advise any of you fantasizing about submission to your wives and not living the joys that it has to offer, please do yourselves a favor and buy the Around Her Finger book immediately!
Friday, October 21, 2005
My 50th Post
Well, tonight's the night.
At dinner, I plan on discussing my very detailed expectations for the "after dinner show" with Jim. He already has a high-level understanding and buy-in as to what will be happening. I want to take it a step further and to some extent script the evening to maximize my husband's sub-space intensity and my own personal enjoyment.
Stay tuned.
At dinner, I plan on discussing my very detailed expectations for the "after dinner show" with Jim. He already has a high-level understanding and buy-in as to what will be happening. I want to take it a step further and to some extent script the evening to maximize my husband's sub-space intensity and my own personal enjoyment.
Stay tuned.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Cuckold Shopping Trip
My husband has been absolutely on edge for the past several days. While he has spent a lot of time nibbling between my legs, he has remained chaste and has spent every night sleeping on the floor beside my bed.
Last night we took a little shopping trip to get ready for my date. He helped me pick out stockings, shoes, a new skirt, a very elegant top (much too hip to refer to as a blouse) that shows off my breasts beautifully. All night long there was "Jim is really going to like this" and "Jim will love ripping this off me" sort of chatter. Taking a cue from Elise Sutton, I had him walk just slightly behind me and carry all of the bags.
We stopped in an artsy little store after going to the mall where I purchased an inexpensive necklace. It was a small, white square amulate on a thin, black leather strand. It is not particularly symbolic of anything on its own, but I just wanted something unique to wear for the evening.
Before we went to sleep I sat on the end of the bed and let my husband kneel in front of me sucking on my toes. I talked about what I wanted Jim to do to me and how I knew that in pleasuring me it would also please my husband. I want to feel Jim's hands on my body. I want to know his breath on my neck and on my mouth. I want his weight on me. I want him to lift my legs apart by pushing up my thighs with his strong forearms. I want a long pause as the head of his cock gets in position to penetrate me. At the moment he slides inside of me - as I feel that first slow stroke pushing his warm flesh into my body - I want to be staring at my husband. I want him to know that I love him, but not to expect my look to convey this. My look will convey our mutual realization that in this moment he is being humiliated... cuckolded... all because he has allowed it to happen and only in part for his own good (my pleasure is at stake here as well). He will instantly fall into sub-space. My eyes will fall off of my husband and onto my deserving lover. As Jim takes me he deserves and will receive my attention.
With that, I pulled my toes from his mouth and got under the covers to sleep.
Last night we took a little shopping trip to get ready for my date. He helped me pick out stockings, shoes, a new skirt, a very elegant top (much too hip to refer to as a blouse) that shows off my breasts beautifully. All night long there was "Jim is really going to like this" and "Jim will love ripping this off me" sort of chatter. Taking a cue from Elise Sutton, I had him walk just slightly behind me and carry all of the bags.
We stopped in an artsy little store after going to the mall where I purchased an inexpensive necklace. It was a small, white square amulate on a thin, black leather strand. It is not particularly symbolic of anything on its own, but I just wanted something unique to wear for the evening.
Before we went to sleep I sat on the end of the bed and let my husband kneel in front of me sucking on my toes. I talked about what I wanted Jim to do to me and how I knew that in pleasuring me it would also please my husband. I want to feel Jim's hands on my body. I want to know his breath on my neck and on my mouth. I want his weight on me. I want him to lift my legs apart by pushing up my thighs with his strong forearms. I want a long pause as the head of his cock gets in position to penetrate me. At the moment he slides inside of me - as I feel that first slow stroke pushing his warm flesh into my body - I want to be staring at my husband. I want him to know that I love him, but not to expect my look to convey this. My look will convey our mutual realization that in this moment he is being humiliated... cuckolded... all because he has allowed it to happen and only in part for his own good (my pleasure is at stake here as well). He will instantly fall into sub-space. My eyes will fall off of my husband and onto my deserving lover. As Jim takes me he deserves and will receive my attention.
With that, I pulled my toes from his mouth and got under the covers to sleep.
Monday, October 17, 2005
My Husband's Request
My husband has requested that I not share the details of my upcoming date with Jim on this blog. He claims that it is too intimate an experience to be shared in this format. I have not yet decided how I feel about this request. My husband asks so little of me that I am inclined to honor his wishes as they relate to this matter. I am only making you all aware of this now so that your expectations might be tempered in advance.
Feel free to comment on this issue because as of now I remain undecided, and I could possibly be swayed by feedback from this community.
Feel free to comment on this issue because as of now I remain undecided, and I could possibly be swayed by feedback from this community.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Discussed Cuckolding with My Husband
Last night my husband and I went to a very low-key dinner at an Italian restaurant with the sort of corny red and white checked tablecloths you see in movies. We had a long talk about everything that is happening. He is quite frankly scared to death about my date next week. I too am incredibly nervous.
As scared as both of us are, we are both determined to go through with the whole affair. I have promised my husband that I will never see "Jim" without my husband being involved in the evening in some way. I have also committed that I will cease to see him at all if my husband becomes uncomfortable with the process. This is not an abdication of my dominance in any way. I choose to give my husband this decision-making authority because the authority is mine to give. The very act of granting him this veto power is evidence of my dominance. It also will add an element of involvement on my husband's part that he could not otherwise have. When he watches Jim's cock push against the lips of my vagina, and watches my body open to receive him, he will watch knowing that he could have stopped it by simply speaking up.
My husband and I drank a bottle of wine and talked about a thousand subjects. We have so much in common. He is a wonderful man and I love him dearly. I am fortunate that he serves me, but more fortunate yet that he loves me.
As scared as both of us are, we are both determined to go through with the whole affair. I have promised my husband that I will never see "Jim" without my husband being involved in the evening in some way. I have also committed that I will cease to see him at all if my husband becomes uncomfortable with the process. This is not an abdication of my dominance in any way. I choose to give my husband this decision-making authority because the authority is mine to give. The very act of granting him this veto power is evidence of my dominance. It also will add an element of involvement on my husband's part that he could not otherwise have. When he watches Jim's cock push against the lips of my vagina, and watches my body open to receive him, he will watch knowing that he could have stopped it by simply speaking up.
My husband and I drank a bottle of wine and talked about a thousand subjects. We have so much in common. He is a wonderful man and I love him dearly. I am fortunate that he serves me, but more fortunate yet that he loves me.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Cuckolding Scheduled
My husband had just fixed me a cup of herbal tea and was on his knees rubbing my feet with lotion when the phone rang. It was Jim, the new man in our lives.
We chatted like old friends and I smiled often as I listened to him flirt with me on the telephone. Shortly into the call, I allowed my own hand to find its way between my legs, and I began pleasuring myself as I continued to speak with Jim. My husband mistakenly took this as a cue to start going down on me, but I silently scolded him and intimated that he needed to continue to focus his attention on my feet.
I continued to chat as my husband returned to his duties. Soon Jim got around to asking me out. He initially suggested a trendy new restaurant not far from my home. I told him that I was too likely to see people I knew there, and I preferred something more discreet. We settled on a restaurant in a very artsy part of town where I am unlikely to know anybody. The date is set for next Friday night. He will pick me up at 7:00, we will go eat, and we will return to my house where my husband will have desert and wine ready for us. Jim and I concluded our call by saying we would definately talk again before next Friday night.
After I hung up the phone, I asked my husband to go and get my pinky ring off of the nightstand. Recall that this ring is a tool that I use as a surrogate chastity device. (When I'm not wearing the ring he knows that while he will still be expected to serve me orally prior to intercourse, he also knows that he may consumate his intercourse by ejaculating inside of me. When I have the ring on, he is not to orgasm.) Having removed the ring earlier in the evening, I am certain that my husband was expecting to orgasm later in the night. When I instructed him to go get the ring so that I could put it back on, I made it very clear that he would remain chaste that night. I am certain that he also assumed, correctly, that I am inclined to leave that ring on until afer the cuckolding session next week.
I went to bed that night, but before doing so used a very large dildo to pleasure myself. My husband, at my command, slept beside the bed on the floor.
We chatted like old friends and I smiled often as I listened to him flirt with me on the telephone. Shortly into the call, I allowed my own hand to find its way between my legs, and I began pleasuring myself as I continued to speak with Jim. My husband mistakenly took this as a cue to start going down on me, but I silently scolded him and intimated that he needed to continue to focus his attention on my feet.
I continued to chat as my husband returned to his duties. Soon Jim got around to asking me out. He initially suggested a trendy new restaurant not far from my home. I told him that I was too likely to see people I knew there, and I preferred something more discreet. We settled on a restaurant in a very artsy part of town where I am unlikely to know anybody. The date is set for next Friday night. He will pick me up at 7:00, we will go eat, and we will return to my house where my husband will have desert and wine ready for us. Jim and I concluded our call by saying we would definately talk again before next Friday night.
After I hung up the phone, I asked my husband to go and get my pinky ring off of the nightstand. Recall that this ring is a tool that I use as a surrogate chastity device. (When I'm not wearing the ring he knows that while he will still be expected to serve me orally prior to intercourse, he also knows that he may consumate his intercourse by ejaculating inside of me. When I have the ring on, he is not to orgasm.) Having removed the ring earlier in the evening, I am certain that my husband was expecting to orgasm later in the night. When I instructed him to go get the ring so that I could put it back on, I made it very clear that he would remain chaste that night. I am certain that he also assumed, correctly, that I am inclined to leave that ring on until afer the cuckolding session next week.
I went to bed that night, but before doing so used a very large dildo to pleasure myself. My husband, at my command, slept beside the bed on the floor.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Phone Call
He called me today.
My husband was working, but I was home. The phone rang, and when I picked it up it was the man that I met at the party this weekend. For the purpose of this blog, let's call him Jim.
Jim and I spoke for some time. It began as the sort of giddy small talk that two teenagers might have. Soon, he asked me to share a little more detail about the openness of my marriage. I told him that my husband and I have an understanding; I tell him what to do and he does it. I explained that I am the dominant spouse in our marriage, and my husband accepts and furthermore embraces his submissive role. I went on to explain that as a result of our roles, I am permitted to sleep with other men and my husband must only be intimate with me. I also told Jim that if he and I ended up sleeping together, it would be the first time that I took advantage of my freedom. I also explained, as best I could to a man unfamiliar with femdom marriages how this would benefit my husband. I told Jim that I would like to involve my husband in any affair in which we might decide to engage, and that he would need to indulge me in this requirement if he wanted to pursue me.
We talked about all of this in some detail. I am rushed right now trying to get to the gym before the crowds arrive, but I will continue to update all of you on the progress I am making.
I can't help but thinking that I have come a long way from aroundherfinger.com!
My husband was working, but I was home. The phone rang, and when I picked it up it was the man that I met at the party this weekend. For the purpose of this blog, let's call him Jim.
Jim and I spoke for some time. It began as the sort of giddy small talk that two teenagers might have. Soon, he asked me to share a little more detail about the openness of my marriage. I told him that my husband and I have an understanding; I tell him what to do and he does it. I explained that I am the dominant spouse in our marriage, and my husband accepts and furthermore embraces his submissive role. I went on to explain that as a result of our roles, I am permitted to sleep with other men and my husband must only be intimate with me. I also told Jim that if he and I ended up sleeping together, it would be the first time that I took advantage of my freedom. I also explained, as best I could to a man unfamiliar with femdom marriages how this would benefit my husband. I told Jim that I would like to involve my husband in any affair in which we might decide to engage, and that he would need to indulge me in this requirement if he wanted to pursue me.
We talked about all of this in some detail. I am rushed right now trying to get to the gym before the crowds arrive, but I will continue to update all of you on the progress I am making.
I can't help but thinking that I have come a long way from aroundherfinger.com!
Sunday, October 09, 2005
New Cuckold Candidate
I definatley like the prospect of the current candidate to cuckold my husband better than I like the idea of my ex-fiance. As many of you suggested, bringing my ex-fiance back into my life would have a great deal of baggage associated with it. This new man was a complete stranger prior to this weekend.
I am still a long way from moving forward with this. I had given him my phone number, but he is yet to call. That has not stopped my husband from being completely on edge since the other night. Every time the phone rings my husband has been running to get it so that he can hand it to me to answer. Those that have cautioned against me moving forward with these plans must really consider how badly my husband seems to want this.
I am still a long way from moving forward with this. I had given him my phone number, but he is yet to call. That has not stopped my husband from being completely on edge since the other night. Every time the phone rings my husband has been running to get it so that he can hand it to me to answer. Those that have cautioned against me moving forward with these plans must really consider how badly my husband seems to want this.
Cuckolding Interest Resurfacing
My husband and I were at party last night for a charitable organization in which I am involved. It was a large event at a downtown hotel. My husband had gone to get us drinks at the bar, and while he was away, a very attractive man approached me and started speaking to me. After some time, my husband returned with the drinks, handed me mine with a polite smile, and then quickly darted away to allow me to continue my conversation with this man.
I could see my husband across the room keeping an eye on us. As much out of an interest in teasing my husband as anything else, I began to flirt with this man with physical cues that would even be evident even from a distance. I ended up spending most of the party talking to him, and we spent quite a bit of time on the dance floor. He is single, but I explained to him that I am married to a man with whom I share an understanding. His eyes lit up as he had never been involved with a woman in an open relationship, but it was clearly of interest to him.
At the end of the evening he asked me to go home with him. I declined the invitation, but I did give him my cell phone number. He left before I did, and he kissed me on the cheek when he left, in full view of my husband. We left shortly thereafter. I could not wait to get home and get my husband's tongue between my legs.
I told my husband that I expected to see this gentleman again and that I expected him to be supportive. I will absolutely post the developments on this blog.
I could see my husband across the room keeping an eye on us. As much out of an interest in teasing my husband as anything else, I began to flirt with this man with physical cues that would even be evident even from a distance. I ended up spending most of the party talking to him, and we spent quite a bit of time on the dance floor. He is single, but I explained to him that I am married to a man with whom I share an understanding. His eyes lit up as he had never been involved with a woman in an open relationship, but it was clearly of interest to him.
At the end of the evening he asked me to go home with him. I declined the invitation, but I did give him my cell phone number. He left before I did, and he kissed me on the cheek when he left, in full view of my husband. We left shortly thereafter. I could not wait to get home and get my husband's tongue between my legs.
I told my husband that I expected to see this gentleman again and that I expected him to be supportive. I will absolutely post the developments on this blog.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Time with the In-laws
We hosted my husband's parents recently for several days in our home. As I have indicated before, we choose to keep our femdom lifestyle very private. Therefore, it was relatively difficult to live our typical day to day lives given the guests in our home.
By the time they left, I would have to think that my in-laws would at least have to consider that our marriage is, at the very least, not typical. Despite the fact that we were very restrained this week, my husband still continued to do an enormous amount of the household work soley on the basis of habit alone. The one meal that we had at home, he cooked and served.
The only escape that we had the entire time was when we retired to our bedroom. I spent more than one night penetrating him with my strap-on. His tongue danced between my legs from the minute the bedroom door was closed. It was as if we had both been in a desert deprived of water the entire time that we entertained his parents. On the final day, it occured to me that I could remind him of the strap-on session the night before by having him discreetly wear a plug for the last afternoon that the two of them were with us.
While it was a delightful visit, by the time they left, my husband and I were both exhausted. It is funny how you become comfortable with a certain set of daily routines and find yourself at ill ease when they are not present in your life. If nothing else, the visit from the in-laws served as an excellent reminder that we are both - my husband and I - happiest when he is in unhampered service to me.
By the time they left, I would have to think that my in-laws would at least have to consider that our marriage is, at the very least, not typical. Despite the fact that we were very restrained this week, my husband still continued to do an enormous amount of the household work soley on the basis of habit alone. The one meal that we had at home, he cooked and served.
The only escape that we had the entire time was when we retired to our bedroom. I spent more than one night penetrating him with my strap-on. His tongue danced between my legs from the minute the bedroom door was closed. It was as if we had both been in a desert deprived of water the entire time that we entertained his parents. On the final day, it occured to me that I could remind him of the strap-on session the night before by having him discreetly wear a plug for the last afternoon that the two of them were with us.
While it was a delightful visit, by the time they left, my husband and I were both exhausted. It is funny how you become comfortable with a certain set of daily routines and find yourself at ill ease when they are not present in your life. If nothing else, the visit from the in-laws served as an excellent reminder that we are both - my husband and I - happiest when he is in unhampered service to me.
Monday, September 26, 2005
One But Not the Other
I really am more and more convinced that most (maybe all) men have an innate need to submit to women. I think that an individual's circumstances may suppress that need in some cases and may exagerate it in others, but I think it exists nonetheless.
While I would like to believe that all women have an innate desire to dominate men, I just have not seen enough evidence of this to convince me. Within certain subcultures, women seem to take on roles. In traditional Southern communities, women often seem passive and submissive. On the other hand, in the African American community, dominance seems to be the prevailing female nature. I remember watching the show Wife-Swap where a black wife was clearly dominant to her white submissive husband. She laid in bed and rang a little bell every time she needed something.
In general, however, dominance does not seem to as ubiquitous in the American woman (I am not qualified to speak in regard to other countries/societies). I still maintain that the potential to self-actualize via submission is in the eyes of almost every man I see.
While I would like to believe that all women have an innate desire to dominate men, I just have not seen enough evidence of this to convince me. Within certain subcultures, women seem to take on roles. In traditional Southern communities, women often seem passive and submissive. On the other hand, in the African American community, dominance seems to be the prevailing female nature. I remember watching the show Wife-Swap where a black wife was clearly dominant to her white submissive husband. She laid in bed and rang a little bell every time she needed something.
In general, however, dominance does not seem to as ubiquitous in the American woman (I am not qualified to speak in regard to other countries/societies). I still maintain that the potential to self-actualize via submission is in the eyes of almost every man I see.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Breaking Him Down Slowly
I regret in some ways that my husband has always been aware that he is submissive. How lucky you women are that have husbands completely out of touch with what I (more and more) believe is the male's innate need to submit.
You could break him down slowly by using your feminine sexuality to tease, torment and ultimately conquer him. You can take credit for introducing him to the pleasure of loving female authority. You can watch him evolve and grow under your constant nurturing. Before and after snapshots will reveal quite a story. The before profile is a man with no direction, no focus. The after profile is a man committed to your service and free in a way that he never was before.
Women owe the introduction of femdom to their men. Anything less is almost cruel.
You could break him down slowly by using your feminine sexuality to tease, torment and ultimately conquer him. You can take credit for introducing him to the pleasure of loving female authority. You can watch him evolve and grow under your constant nurturing. Before and after snapshots will reveal quite a story. The before profile is a man with no direction, no focus. The after profile is a man committed to your service and free in a way that he never was before.
Women owe the introduction of femdom to their men. Anything less is almost cruel.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Training Regime
I was asked in a comment to my last post to discuss whether or not I have a formal training regime in place with my husband. I thought a little about it, but I have to say that the answer is no. There is no training involved with him beyond his getting used to certain activities (e.g. see my post on golden showers). The rules are very simple... I tell him what I expect him to do, and he does it. On occasions where he is slacking off, I remind him of what I expect and he reacts. I really am not a masochist and have no desire to inflict pain to perfect his ability to perform a given task.
If training is required in a femdom relationship, it seems to me that the wife is the one that needs it most. Remember -- this is a 24/7 relationship with a man that I love -- I have to learn when to back off and when to put my foot down. There are occasions when he needs a little down time, and I am growing in my ability to recognize these occasions and moderate my expectations accordingly. Any woman living this lifestyle over time that tells you he is always "on" is, in my opinion, just not being honest.
Perhaps I should spend more time on this topic as it is of more practical value than my musings on cuckolding, etc. I think the topic is well-addressed in Around Her Finger, but I would enjoy sharing my insight on it here in this forum.
If training is required in a femdom relationship, it seems to me that the wife is the one that needs it most. Remember -- this is a 24/7 relationship with a man that I love -- I have to learn when to back off and when to put my foot down. There are occasions when he needs a little down time, and I am growing in my ability to recognize these occasions and moderate my expectations accordingly. Any woman living this lifestyle over time that tells you he is always "on" is, in my opinion, just not being honest.
Perhaps I should spend more time on this topic as it is of more practical value than my musings on cuckolding, etc. I think the topic is well-addressed in Around Her Finger, but I would enjoy sharing my insight on it here in this forum.
Friday, September 09, 2005
More on Forced Bi
Further consideration has given me some new thinking on the notion of having my husband suck another man's cock. I have thought about how many times in the early years of our marriage I put my mouth on his cock, and I think of the forced bi experiment as an opportunity to wash away his past transgression for putting me in this position of juxtaposed authority.
When giving my husband blowjobs in the past, I did it because I felt it was an unselfish means of providing him pleasure. Of course I recognized the aura of humility that it brought to me, but never gave it a second thought given that it was occuring in a loving relationship. However, now I look back at it with an enlightened perspective. My husband knew at the time that we first married that he was submissive. Even if I didn't know it, he did. He also knew that I was superior to him and demanded reverence in the relationship beyond what I even comprehended at the time. Yet knowing all this, he still allowed me to kneel before him and to place my mouth on his penis.
He tells me now that he never really enjoyed receiving oral sex. While it produces physical pleasure for him, it never engendered a sense of closeness to me. This sense of closeness - of emotional intimacy - was always a decent if not perfect substitute for the sense of intimate surrender to me that he now has via our open practice loving female authority. So, knowing that the blowjobs represented some sense of temporary submission on my part, and knowing that he did not really want them in the first place, I am left thinking of a remedy for what he allowed to happen.
Perhaps to have him know the humility of sucking a cock is entirely appropriate.
When giving my husband blowjobs in the past, I did it because I felt it was an unselfish means of providing him pleasure. Of course I recognized the aura of humility that it brought to me, but never gave it a second thought given that it was occuring in a loving relationship. However, now I look back at it with an enlightened perspective. My husband knew at the time that we first married that he was submissive. Even if I didn't know it, he did. He also knew that I was superior to him and demanded reverence in the relationship beyond what I even comprehended at the time. Yet knowing all this, he still allowed me to kneel before him and to place my mouth on his penis.
He tells me now that he never really enjoyed receiving oral sex. While it produces physical pleasure for him, it never engendered a sense of closeness to me. This sense of closeness - of emotional intimacy - was always a decent if not perfect substitute for the sense of intimate surrender to me that he now has via our open practice loving female authority. So, knowing that the blowjobs represented some sense of temporary submission on my part, and knowing that he did not really want them in the first place, I am left thinking of a remedy for what he allowed to happen.
Perhaps to have him know the humility of sucking a cock is entirely appropriate.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Forced Bi Fantasies
I have never given much thought to the idea of forcing my husband to participate in bi-sexual activities. I have always known that if I cuckold him, I would like him to clean the other man's cum from between my legs, but that's not quite the same as putting his mouth, for example, on another man's cock.
Much of the cuckold erotica involves an evolution in the sexual play to a point where the alpha male is dominating at least the cuckolded husband and forcing him to suck on his cock or in some cases open his legs to receive anal sex. Some of the cuckold erotica goes a step beyond this and the alpha male ends up dominating both the submissive male and the wife. I know that the latter has no appeal to me as my authority in my own home is not to be questioned. The former, however, has some appeal, but I would not envision participating in this sort of activity in any initial cuckold experiment that I may undertake.
I want the centerpiece of the experience to be a surrender of his jealousy to his submission. I want the animal need to gaurd one's mate to be overcome by the intellectual, spiritual and perhaps equally innate need to put my pleasure above his own emotions. I want the void of humiliation to be washed away by the power of his devotion to me. This all seems better afforded by a cock between my legs as opposed to one in his mouth.
My husband denies any forced-bi fantasies. I wonder if these fantasies are common or not among submissive men.
Much of the cuckold erotica involves an evolution in the sexual play to a point where the alpha male is dominating at least the cuckolded husband and forcing him to suck on his cock or in some cases open his legs to receive anal sex. Some of the cuckold erotica goes a step beyond this and the alpha male ends up dominating both the submissive male and the wife. I know that the latter has no appeal to me as my authority in my own home is not to be questioned. The former, however, has some appeal, but I would not envision participating in this sort of activity in any initial cuckold experiment that I may undertake.
I want the centerpiece of the experience to be a surrender of his jealousy to his submission. I want the animal need to gaurd one's mate to be overcome by the intellectual, spiritual and perhaps equally innate need to put my pleasure above his own emotions. I want the void of humiliation to be washed away by the power of his devotion to me. This all seems better afforded by a cock between my legs as opposed to one in his mouth.
My husband denies any forced-bi fantasies. I wonder if these fantasies are common or not among submissive men.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Cuckolding Close to Home
Please excuse my recent absence from the blog. I am going to have to resort to less frequent posts as time constraints and writer's block are making the daily commitment impossible.
I have thought a great deal lately about the pleasure I would take from cuckolding. This is separate from the impact it would have on my husband altogether. I have found myself thinking that I would like to be with another man just for the sheer hedonistic pleasure of it. This seems important.
I was at an outdoor party in my neighborhood this weekend. There was a gentlemen who perhaps had too much to drink who was going just a little beyond neighborly chit-chat and flirting with me with quite blatently. He is an attractive man, and I will confess to having been very charmed by his actions.
I mentioned this to my husband later. My husband doesn't know this man very well, but for some reason is not very fond of him. He asked that I please not entertain any thoughts of cuckolding him with this man. I would never cuckold him with this particular man as 1) he is married, and 2) I do not want a reputation in the neighborhood that results in hushed whispers every time I go for a walk. However, I have been teasing my husband a bit with the idea.
The whole thing gets both of us extremely hot.
I have thought a great deal lately about the pleasure I would take from cuckolding. This is separate from the impact it would have on my husband altogether. I have found myself thinking that I would like to be with another man just for the sheer hedonistic pleasure of it. This seems important.
I was at an outdoor party in my neighborhood this weekend. There was a gentlemen who perhaps had too much to drink who was going just a little beyond neighborly chit-chat and flirting with me with quite blatently. He is an attractive man, and I will confess to having been very charmed by his actions.
I mentioned this to my husband later. My husband doesn't know this man very well, but for some reason is not very fond of him. He asked that I please not entertain any thoughts of cuckolding him with this man. I would never cuckold him with this particular man as 1) he is married, and 2) I do not want a reputation in the neighborhood that results in hushed whispers every time I go for a walk. However, I have been teasing my husband a bit with the idea.
The whole thing gets both of us extremely hot.
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