I was asked in a comment to my last post to discuss whether or not I have a formal training regime in place with my husband. I thought a little about it, but I have to say that the answer is no. There is no training involved with him beyond his getting used to certain activities (e.g. see my post on golden showers). The rules are very simple... I tell him what I expect him to do, and he does it. On occasions where he is slacking off, I remind him of what I expect and he reacts. I really am not a masochist and have no desire to inflict pain to perfect his ability to perform a given task.
If training is required in a femdom relationship, it seems to me that the wife is the one that needs it most. Remember -- this is a 24/7 relationship with a man that I love -- I have to learn when to back off and when to put my foot down. There are occasions when he needs a little down time, and I am growing in my ability to recognize these occasions and moderate my expectations accordingly. Any woman living this lifestyle over time that tells you he is always "on" is, in my opinion, just not being honest.
Perhaps I should spend more time on this topic as it is of more practical value than my musings on cuckolding, etc. I think the topic is well-addressed in Around Her Finger, but I would enjoy sharing my insight on it here in this forum.
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Dear Ms. West,
Thank You for Your musings, they are delightful, and as a steady reader, i will be glad for any tips You offer.
As for training, i have offered Wife several books that She has enjoyed. A great one is "How to make your man behave in 21 days or The Secrets of professional dog trainers" by Karen Salmansohn. It is a tongue-in-cheek little book that has a lot of wisdom. As You say, both man and Wife need the training. It is certain that in our culture, Women do not get exposed to very many lessons in exercising authority. Finding someone who has expectations for becoming the authority in a relationship is rarer still. These forums that the internet is fostering are helping us all so that we submissives men can be allowed to learn the skills required to be good domestics and our Queens can learn the skills and wisdom to be able to take full advantage of the possibilities that are offered. I have tried at my blog to offer some small service in the training that i have learned performing domestic duties. Still, i have a long way to go before i am satisfied that i am doing all i can. As You say, it is hard to be "on" all of the time. When i falter, usually because of being tired from outside work-a-day activity, i feel such remorse. If She would just use corporal punishment (which i hate), i would still feel better. Ususally though, there is a very slow return to our proper roles. Wish there was some magic wand for that. Any ideas?
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