In the past, I have recommended sites such as www.aroundherfinger.com and www.femalesuperiority.com as good resources for aspiring male submissives. These are both sites which I very highly endorse.
However, I have been approached a number of times to participate in link exchanges with other sites. I have resisted the temptation to do so, but now have reconsidered. I believe that the reciprocal links that they offer will provide an opportunity to grow the community of active particpants in the discussion which I moderate. I have been very proud of the non-commercial nature of my blog, and wish to keep it this way for the forseeable future. If enough of you object to my participation in link exchanges, and provide good arguments to support your position, I will reconsider. For now, I am beginning my experiment with the following link:
FEMDOM
TGP -
Free Femdom tgp,
galleries and movies
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The purpose of this blog is to share my very deeply held views on the subject of wife-led households. A wife-led, or female-led, houseold is one where husbands submit to the loving female authority of their wives. In creating this blog, I feel like I stand on the shoulders of giants. Elise Sutton, Emily Addison and Lady Misato have all made great contributions to thinking in this space. I hope my own ideas can carry on in the thoughtful tradition of these women.
LFA Links
The purpose of this blog is to share my very deeply held views on the subject of wife-led households. A wife-led, or female-led, houseold is one where husbands submit to the loving female authority of their wives. In creating this blog, I feel like I stand on the shoulders of giants. Elise Sutton, Emily Addison and Lady Misato have all made great contributions to thinking in this space. I hope my own ideas can carry on in the thoughtful tradition of these women.
14 comments:
Hi Katherine, great idea Lady! I say get the word out. With your effort to blog this, and your kindness to share openly and honestly you give us all a great gift! Maybe get credit for traffic referred too if you can!
I wish back in the 70's we had this kind of forum. It would have saved many of us alot of time in coming to grips with who we are and what we believe. I for one had mostly fetish and female adoration interests at first. That led me to femdom, then female supremacy, and finally to looking at extreme stuff like cuckolding humiliation, forced bi, and physical and emotional torture.
I have settled back in at my comfort level short of those extreme (for me now)things, but on who I am and what i believe I have changed so much from my begining ideas and fantasies about people & things like: (Mistress Michelle and Corporal and Tania vollen)
. BUT I still am eager to learn from those of you who think and act different as over time you have already changed my mind on so many other things. Thanks Ladies!
Once again let me say I am an unabashed fan of yours, and a little bit in awe of your wisdom and dominance. You are great Lady!
Lady Katherine,
The only argument I have with regards to you adding links to this blog is that with the government crackdown right now on websites that contain any type of sexual material (whether it be in written format or photographic format), you do run the risk of drawing the government's attention to this blog if one of the websites that you link to is hit hard by Uncle Sam and President George. This is a serious threat, and websites are already being forced to close down because the owners can't afford to fight it in court. The U.S. government knows this and is counting on it for the domino affect. I worry about my blog, too, because of the sexual content on it, though it's only in the written word. You want to spread the word about Female Domination, but at the same time, you don't want to needlessly draw the attention of the Federal government. I want to add that this isn't a joke. The government set up a task force over a year ago to start closing down the adult websites on the Internet. They're taking this very seriously, and we should, too.
This is really strange. What we thought once about the freedom of speech and the freedom of free well in the western world is fading. More and more there is censorship. Just today I got to know, that google in Germany is filtering the results according to some given rules by the government.
I begin to worry. All this talk that started in the US and was happily adopted by the European sheeps, about fighting for freedom or defeding freedom or endurig freedom, it's just a cover for the limitation of the REAL freedom. After the chaos of 9/11 most European counutries issued laws limiting the freedom of the citizen and allowing a wide range of spying on "suspect" persons.
Well, on the other side, what really freaks me out is the gloryfication of pure violence throught the media, while the display of a naked female breast is an unbearable insult. I can't understand this. The world goes crazy and we don't do nothing against this. This makes me kind of sad and mad. I want to change this, but how can I start? I don't want just to talk about it, but to really DO something and achieve some progress.
I guess I am a little off topic. Please forgive me Katherine.
Hello,
As a fellow Dominant in a female-led household, I have been an interested reader in your blog for some time now. Until now I have never made a comment, but today's posting really struck a chord with me.
I love the idea of what you are doing- moderating a discussion that can lead to the personal growth and fulfillment of many people. The encouragement of such discussion should never be stifled.
That said however, I was more than a bit surprised when I visited the link that you posted in this most recent entry. The first sites that you posted were wonderful- both Loving Female Authority and Around Her Finger are sites that promote discussions, further educate the public on FLRs, and present all information in a respectful, tasteful manner. Which is why I was so shocked when I visited today's promoted Femdom site.
Femdom TPG is nothing but a glorified fetish porn site! There is nothing respectful or educational about it. Of all the pictures I saw, none showed me a couple engaging in loving acts or in respectful, safe environments. Instead, I saw women clad in leather, performing in sterotypical "dungeons," and torturing men for the camera. In all of the sessions depicted, the woman is performing for the benefit of the outside viewer, and not allowing the photographer to capture female worship in it's purest form, as the ultimate display of pleasure and love.
Until now, I have always viewed this blog as a space where the curious and/or genuinely interested can come to learn about the true nature of a female-led household. But I'm afraid that after visiting the website promoted in today's column, many of the people visiting this space will be nothing more than the fetishists who give femdom the negative connotation that it currently carries. The viewers will not be men and women interested in actually living in a female led household, instead it will be men who belong to the BDSM community, who are looking for nothing more than a woman to dominate him in a purely sexual environment.
I agree, I was somewhat shocked when I clicked on the link; didn't fit this blog at all. But then again, I was surprised to see 'racist' misspelled on a previous post, too.
Hello to all of you who dissent with Lady katherines decision. I concede to validity of your concerns and acknowledge my inability to know the world from your viewpoint and experiences.
I do ask you to please consider the following ...
Many young men who are fetish oriented are still learning whee they fit in society and how to relate to women. Better these guys see men in Pain than any other form of porn. At least they are being exposed to the idea than women can take what they want from men and be in charge of us. Exposure to this idea during arousal is a key first step in sexually conditioning virile YOUNG men to submit.
Also it seems the images of leather and whips and blood are distatsteful to you, but please remember the target audience for this is YOUNG men. Many of them ae not so squeamish or put off by such things. They really do like the intense experience. As one young dude i know put it, "hey I get beat up more in a bad weekend than those MIP guys, but they get to be with a hot lady!"
And last, it appears to me PHYSICAL violence seems to violate your mental definition of of LFA. For many of us physically tough men a good whipping or c and b torture would hurt me a lot less in the long run than my wife taking another lover. Even worse, Him replacing me as her best friend and suitor would make me severely ill and depressed. Worst of all , if I lost her respect for being inadequate as friend and suitor I might be suicidal! For some of us emotional trauma is worse than physical...yet some of you do not seem to care about it much if at all. I aplogize if those of you posting concerns about physical abuse do not support emotional distress either , I have no way to know if you do or not. i just wanted to point out what I feel is a double standard about the different types of violence.
Lastly , many of us have forgone our kinky desires for the spouse we love, and such FANTASY sites have long served as a harmless warm up for the real deal, loving sex with our awesome spouses.
Again, i respect the validity of your concerns, please do not think I am saying you all are wrong, just that there are other views for some of us. I just felt impelled to defend Lady katherine, and present a different take on the subject. Pax to all of you. and respect, OB.
With all due respect Lady Katherine, I must wholeheartedly agree with Qedeshet, Curious George and iobey. The link is distasteful and completely antithetical to the tender respectful form of LFA and FLR that your blog thus far has portrayed. In the past I would have recommended this blog to persons curious about this lifestyle. With links of this sort attached, I could not in good conscious do that.
I understand what OldBear is saying, but in my own case, there was a reverse order. For decades I felt a submissive impulse toward strong women. The only images any societial subculture persented of dominant women were those of the cruel dominatrix. For decades, I pleaded with my wife to be such a person. She could not; it was completely contradictory to her nature. When I discovered the writings of Abernathy, Addison, Misato, Sutton, and others, I came to the realization that the cruel dominatrix was not at all what I wanted my wife to be. That image was the only one I had ever seen of a dominant woman and exposure to Loving Female Authority brought me to the realization that the image of the leather clad dominatrix was only a poor metaphor for the submissive tendancies within my soul. I took Sutton's advice to seduce my wife into dominance by acting like a loving submissive husband should. I began doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, bathing her, doing her hair. If she casually mentioned she wished something could be repaired or undertaken, I did it immediately. Sutton is correct: my wife was enthralled with the new me, and as Sutton predicted, my wife wanted to know the catalyst. When I told her about my reading, my thoughts, and confessed to her that I had for many years misunderstood my own feelings about submission, she embraced 24/7 LFA fully. She is smitten with my tender loving servitude and I have never felt so close and intimate with her. She still dominates my physically, but now it is simple touch domination. I lay naked and am forbidden to move. She softly caresses and teases my body, gently makes oral love to my ears. I am driven to a point of utter paralysis; I physically am unable to move other than sheer convulsions that rack my body as I hyperventilate and gasp for breath. She needs no whip and I need no fetters. The sight of her soft aureolas or her puckered lips, passed within millimeters of my own face and then drawn away as I am forbidden to kiss them, plunges the sword of infatuation deeply into my heart, causing me to pine for her for her with angst. She brings me to the edge and I use my tantric skills to enter non-ejaculatory orgasm. For days she keeps me teased and denied. When she does push me over the edge, she afterwards clasps her labia with her fingers, moves to my lips, and has me reconsume my chi, an act which overcomes the post-ejaculatory blues and returns me to a state of humble submission. There is more, so much more, but then this is not my blog.
As an alternative, let me list some links which I do think are tasteful and appropriate. (Note: when I previewed this post, I found that the software was posting each URL as one string on one line with the lines often running past the margin so as to be unreadable. They also were not being converted to active hyperlinks. For this reason, I am deleting the hypertext transmission protocol tags at the beginning of each URL, in hopes that this will shorten it and allow it to appearin full. You will need to copy and past the URL into your browser. Most browsers are able to access the site whether the protocol [http://www.] preceeds it or not.
Real Women Don't Do Housework geocities.com/ladymisato
Around Her Finger aroundherfinger.com
Worshiping Your Wife wifeworship.tripod.com/home.htm
Caring Domination cair4.com/
Venus on Top venus-on-top.com/
Elise Sutton's Female Superiority Page elisesutton.homestead.com/Main.html
Amity Speaks to Women amityworld.com/intro
Amore Migliore by Lady Cynthia Hayes a-mig.com/
Uniquely Rika msrika.com
Goddess Ee Ling goddesseeling.blogspot.com
Pleasing and Pampering a Woman femalesupremacist.org/subject_pamper.html
A Married Woman's Guide to a Happier More Fulfilling Relationship geocities.com/toyboy101/
Wikipedia Definition of Loving Female Authority en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loving_Female_Authority
Matriarchal Marriage Patterns of the Mosua People of China second-congress-matriarchal-studies.com/gatusa.html
Where Women Wore the Crown (Matriarchy in Kerala, India) hinduismtoday.com/archives/1996/2/1996-2-03.shtml
Akasha's Web: A Good Girl's Guide to Domination akashasweb.com/women/index.html
Wikipedia Definition of Prostate Milking enwikipedia.org/wiki/Prostate_milking
The Essential Domme by Midori fhp-inc.com/writings/essential_domme.html
Aftercare by Midori fhp-inc.com/writings/aftercare.html
Making Him Your Dream Man: Male Chastity-The Woman's Guide to a Blissful Relationship angelfire.com/id2/Hawaii/MaleCh.html
Improve Your Relationship with a Chastity Device geocities.com/intro_to_chastity/
Chastity:The Control of Male Masturbation and Orgasm mujweb.cz/www/asdareel/chastity.txt
Chastity U.K. chastity-uk.co.uk/new.htm
The Benefits of Male Chastity: A Woman's Perspective ms_kay1.tripod.com/
Chastity Devices & Orgasm Denial chastitylifestyle.com
Howdy all, good points. i am familiar with most but not all of the sites listed. I like and agree with some of the content of all the ones I am familiar with, and agree with almost all of the content of the majority of them.
Not to belabour a point but please educate me: I think LFA condones cuckoldry, does it not? If so i believe that one item alone will put as many "mainstream" married women off as the loving part will draw to the concept. It is a HUGE stumbling block to many of us.
Many of us solemnly and with due deliberation stood as one in front of our families, faith communities, and faithful parents and got married. For us who fit that description and were and are serious about it, to break the vow of fidelity would be a grievous breach of character.
A man in that situation ought to treat his wife with love, attention, respect and servitude without putting himself in the position of assisting thee braking of wedding vows. Again I am talking about true believers of good faith. I respect the heck out of those of you who disagree. I am not criticizing your lifestyle. Some of you like Wayne haved survived thaings that may well have crushed me for life, and I respect that a lot.
I think for most people LFA will be accepted and work even with the cuckoldry (if it is condoned as a part of LFA). I am sure the exception i take is a decidely minority opinion. just as I am sure that my position that emotional duress is more damaging than physical duress is probably a minority viewpoint.
All in all I concede one HUGE point to those of you whose views diffe from mine: LFA is a great social phenomenon which would be good for many if not most marriages. If men and women would take what they like from ti and female supremacy and put them to work in their life, the married world would be much better. Society would improve a lot.
Thanks again to all of you who disagree, I dont learna thing from ideas just liek mine :-) PAX!.
BTW Queens kinght that was BEAUTIFUL post aout a beautiful marriage. HUGE ups to you and yor wife for putting the L in LFA!!!!!!
oldbear,
I believe it is important to remember that while LFA may condone cuckoldry, it does not require it. Like so many things, not every aspect of any particular belief system will work for or apply to everyone, which is why the woman is given the power to choose in the first place. While your wife may not choose to take on a lover, the realm of fantasy can create scenes and situations that are every bit as powerful as the real thing.
Also, I do not believe that you are alone in thinking that physical pain is easier to bear than psychological pain. In fact, I think the opposite is true- the majority of men I have met believed that physical pain was far easier to overcome. In part, that is why cuckoldry is such a powerful experience- you make yourself the most vulnerable to the one you love. You bare your soul for her to see, allowing her to do with it what she will. This is not an experience to be taken lightly, and it is not something that is possible for many couples. But for those who do take the plunge, the resulting emotional connection is not something that can ever be thoroughly explained or replicated by lesser means.
Qedeshet
OldBear,
Thank you for your comments.
The style and manner in which ideas are presented make a huge impact in the way they are received. The craft of written language can paint a picture far more beautiful than photographs, especially when composed in a sensitive manner by one well skilled in the writer's craft. Both photos and words can be used to paint images either beautiful or crass.
Katherine has portrayed cuckolding with beauty and elegance. She has explored all the aspects with great sensitivity. In stark contrast, there is a popular web site dedicated to cuckoldry (which seems to have permanently crashed) which portrayed the same subject with a common vulgarity.
BDSM is best expressed with words, not photographs. Words can portray the inner feelings of the lovers. Photographs offer only stark images of pain without the underlying context of consentual power exchange.
This is the way in which I (and I assume others) perceive the linked site in question to be so starkly antithetical to the poetic prose Katherine uses to to bring us into the depths of her soul. Not only can photos not achieve that task, the photos in question are simply not done anywhere as tastefully as photos could be done.
I suppose it comes down not only to the choice of medium, but to the class and quality of the work, far more than it does to the subject.
iobey,
I enjoy your blog. It is most sincere and provokes me to great thought. I do not want to be discourteous but I'm not sure why you made the comment about spelling. You and I are both good writers, but like Katherine and any other human, we both make mistakes too. You may want to go back through your own blog and count how many times you have used "then" in places where you should have used "than"; they are numerous. I mean no animocity, but this comment was out of harmony with the philosophy you espouse. You recently asked a question of your female readers regarding what you needed to change in order to be pleasing to women. Publicly pointing out trite issues like spelling mistakes will turn a woman off cold, very fast.
I've been suspicious about this blog for a while. Why would a woman who wishes to promote true loving female authority endorse a link that is so obviously nothing but trash? Hmmm, something doesn't ring quite true here. I have to say I agree 100% with qedeshet.
You're right, Queen's Knight - it was a mistake to point out something a minor as a spelling error - and I regret doing it. But there was something about the error that bothered me and coupled with the link to the porn site, I found something inconsistent with the site. I'm not sure what it is, but something here just didn't add up.
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