Loving Female Authority

I want to buy other femdom blogs and sites

2008-08-27T09:33:00.000-07:00

I am no longer content to be so casual about what I do on here. I want to make my advocation my occupation. I want to find an existing commercial site with a proven track record of income generation and buy it. All serious offers will be considered.

Please do not reach out to me to inquire casually about my interest in moving forward. I want only tangible offers with a price attached. Also, I have no interest in revenue sharing, etc. I want a price to buy your site or blog in a single, upfront transation. Be prepared to provide documentation regarding web hits, memberships (if applicable) and income.

I have not forgotten about my little blog...

2008-08-18T10:52:00.000-07:00

While I have been absent, I have not been idle. I have been, to my delight, able to maintain a certain intensity in the routine of my life. While cuckolding is not a day in and day out part of my life with my husband, loving female authority certainly is. My husband and I are experimenting with sensory deprivation and hypnosis to attempt to reach new levels of intimacy in this dynamic. With such a willing subject, I believe I am so far effective, but really, how do I know for certain. He is so compliant without any of the ritual and drama of these new experiments.

Many More Posts to Come

2008-04-03T04:55:00.001-07:00

I want to clear up some confusion. The last post was not my final installment at all; it was the final installment of the story I was posting.

You will not be rid of me that easily.

Final Installment

2008-03-28T10:32:00.001-07:00

I allowed www.cuckolds.com to have a headstart on my final installment as a special favor to a friend... but I'm finishing the story here. Hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have.

---

That night I slept with my wife. I spooned up behind her, and she kissed me lovingly before we both drifted off to sleep. I had to go out of town the next day, and it was several days before I returned. My calls to her went unanswered, but she emailed me to let me know that all was well and that preparations were underway to make some changes to our living arrangements, and that I would see them all when I returned.

What I saw when I returned was nothing I should not have expected. Our bed had been removed, and replaced with a new one. The new one appeared to be just a normal king-sized bed, but in actuality, it was a mattress that sat on top of a steel cage. The door of the cage was to be locked with a small, plastic numbered tie… as was my chastity device. I could break and remove the tie in the event of an emergency, but of course Kay would know it.

The guest room had also been changed. A lock had been placed on the closet door, and a mirror of one-way glass had been placed on the door’s front. A hole had been cut out of the top back of the door so that if I was hidden in the closet I would have a perfect view of anything that happened on the bed. I also noticed that about half of my clothes had been moved into this closet. Presumably, I would be spending a good deal of time in the guest room.

An unfinished room in the basement had been converted into a home dungeon. Kay explained that Suzanne and Ryan had ordered everything from an online supplier (using my credit card of course), and that there were still some items which had not yet arrived. Kay seemed very proud of this room, and showed me a selection of strap-on dildos that had been ordered. She then handed me not one, but two disposable enema kits, and order me upstairs to give myself a very thorough cleaning.

“I’m really looking forward to this,” said Kay. “I think this will really make us closer.” I ran upstairs and skimmed through the instructions. I used both enemas and satisfied myself that they had done a very thorough job of prepping me for my wife. I left my clothes upstairs, and came back downstairs naked to find that Kay had readied herself as well. She stood in a head to toe leather outfit, sexy beyond belief. She had a strap-on pointing directly towards me which served as a magnificent and undeniable symbol of her new power. “Come here and kneel in front of me,” she commanded.

“I have to admit,” she said. “It did surprise me that you were so willing to suck Ryan’s cock. You are such a homophobe, never even wanted to watch ‘Will and Grace’ because you thought it was such a blight on the culture. Then I find out you are sucking his cock like that… it really surprised me.” The truth was that it had surprised me as well. “Why don’t you show me how you suck his cock?”

I licked the length of the dildo before settling down on the head of the cock. I put my hands on her ass, and she allowed them to remain there. Then she began testing my skills by thrusting hard to push the dildo against the back of my throat. I proved myself by taking her strokes and avoiding the gag reflex that had been conditioned out of me by so much practice.

“That’s enough, dear. Stand up.” She walked me over to a leather table that had been purchased for the room. I was laid on my back and she climbed on top of the table, pushing herself between my legs. “How do you like wearing this thing?” she asked referring to my chastity device.

“It keeps my focused,” I replied.

“Apparently it does,” she responded. She pushed my legs up to my chest, and I grabbed them to hold myself exposed for her. She handed me a bottle of lubrication and told me that this would be my job as she didn’t want to get her hands dirty. I first lubed myself, and then put a generous amount on the dildo. I closed the bottle and dropped it to the floor.

I felt the cold tip of the dildo press against my tight asshole. I closed my eyes as I knew that the initial penetration would hurt as it always did. She slowly buried the shaft inside my body, and then leaned in to lay her weight on top of me. My eyes still closed, I felt her lips touch mine, and I felt the familiar warmth of her breath. Her hair fell against my face. “I love you so much,” she whispered.

I lay perfectly still. My own breathing was fractured by the rhythm that she was still looking to find. My wife was making love to me. There was no anger in her strokes, only passion. I wrapped my legs around her. Her mouth pushed down hard against my own and I know she felt me as I shook because her hand found its way up to stroke my hair, and she closed my eyes again with gentle kisses. My own hands had been clutching the side of the table, but they moved first to her shoulders and then to play wistfully with her hair.

She pulled herself up to straddle my chest. She undid the strap-on quickly and revealed her waiting pussy to my mouth. She nearly smothered me as I struggled to both breathe and satisfy her at the same time. Then, as quickly as it had begun, she dismounted me and climbed off the table. “What’s wrong, where are you going?” I asked.

“I have to go,” she said. “Ryan needs me to come over. Make sure my dry cleaning gets picked up.”

***

I didn’t see Kay until the next morning. She came back in at 10:00 a.m. with her hair and clothes a mess. I was sitting at the kitchen table doing a conference call with my staff. She took a pen from my hands and wrote “Get off the phone” on the notebook from which I was working. I excused myself, and ended the call promptly.

“Honey, that was my staff call.”

“Kneel,” she said, ignoring my comment. I quickly obeyed. “Don’t fucking talk back to me, understand?”

“Yes, sorry.”

She leaned lifted her skirt and leaned in over the kitchen table. “Ryan has a message for you. Pull down my panties.” I lifted her skirt and helped her step out of her panties. They were soaked.

“What did he say,” I asked.

“Well, it wasn’t so much a verbal message….” She spread her legs only slightly and I saw that semen was dripping out of her asshole. I took my cue and stuck my tongue into her ass. “We’re going out to dinner with Clay and Mindy tonight,” Kay said very matter of factly. She was referring to our neighbors down the street with whom we had been friends for years. I stopped what I was doing only long enough to acknowledge her. When she was resolved that I had cleaned her to her satisfaction, she stepped away from me and back into my panties. “Dinner should be fun.”

***

Dinner was fun, and it represented a refreshing return to normalcy. Kay acted as if nothing had changed in our marriage, and we remained the very conservative couple that we both thought we were only a brief time before. However, when we got home, things reverted back to the new state of affairs. Ryan and Suzanne had come into the house while we were away, and had made themselves at home in front of our television. They were finishing off an expensive bottle of wine that I had been saving for a special occasion. Kay turned and kissed me. “Honey, I had a great time tonight,” she began. “I love you, but I need you to remember that you are my cuckold now. Go upstairs and get yourself ready, then put yourself in the cage under my bed.”

“Run, cuck,” said Ryan from the other room. “Do what she says.”

I ran upstairs, lit candles in the room, and pulled back the sheets on the bed before putting myself into the cage. My cock was in a great deal of discomfort as it struggled to grow inside the CB 3000 that kept in locked up. I lay quietly inside the cage waiting for them to come upstairs, but it took so long that I fell asleep before they ever did. I had no idea how late it was when I was awakened by the moans of my wife and the bed above me rocking violently.

“I’m not sure which she likes better, Suzanne,” I heard Ryan’s voice say, “your pussy or my cock.”

“I’m sure she loves them both,” answered Suzanne. “Don’t you, slut?”

“Yes…. ohhhh, yes…. I love them both.”

The events above me went on for another thirty minutes. They finally dissolved into whispered pillow talk, all of which was lost to even my best efforts to make out what they were saying. One thing was for certain, I was being ignored. I was the cuckold now. When it pleased them to involve me, I was involved. When they were indifferent, I was lost to them.

I was let out of the cage in the morning to make them coffee. Ryan and Suzanne took theirs in to go cups, and rushed out of the house only barely acknowledging me. I walked upstairs and handed a cup to Kay who was still in bed, awake and sitting up waiting for me. “Did you enjoy last night?” she asked.

“Yes, thank you.”

“Good. Tonight should be even better. Jack is coming over. I plan on having him fuck me in the guest room so that you can watch from the closet.”

“Honey,” desperation overcame me, “please don’t do that. This is going too far, please don’t do this with Jack.”

Kay put up her hand to interrupt me. “Honey, who wanted this?”

“Well, I answered, I’m not really sure, but even if it was me, I think it is spinning out of control. I never imagined it would go this far.”

“Ryan had told me that there would be a period of adjustment for you, so I understand your reluctance. Actually, I expect it.” She patted the bed. “Kneel.” She took a tiny pair of scissors out of the drawer next to the bed and cut the plastic lock on my chastity device. She took the device off of me, setting it on the table beside the bed. She motioned for me to join her up on top of the covers, and I laid down parallel next to her, both of our naked bodies touching each other. She put her arms around my neck and kissed the side of my mouth. My cock began to get hard and press against her leg. She took it in her hand and held it firmly.

My mouth found her breasts, and she stroked the back of my hair. I sucked on her nipples. I moved to kiss the soft flesh of her stomach. I felt her push me to go down on her, and I was happy to take her cue. Ryan had marked his territory, and I could still barely taste the presence of his seed still lingering in her body. Just the same, her own musk overpowered his scent, and I worshipped her lovingly.

“Would you like to make love to your wife?” she asked.

“Oh, yes. I would like that very much.” I started to pull myself into position, kneeling between her legs and guiding my cock towards her pussy.

“Then hand me the phone, quickly. We’ll have to ask Ryan for permission.”

“Huh, oh… ok,” I handed her the phone. “Wait, stop! This is crazy!”

“Shhhhh,” she said as she started dialing the number.

“Sir, my husband wants to know if it is ok to make love to his wife. I think under the circumstances it might make sense, but you had told me to call you first.”

“Give me the phone,” I shouted.

She pulled the phone away as I tried to grab it. “These are the ‘circumstances’ I was referring to,” she said with an angry glare in my direction. “Yes, Sir, I understand. Would you like to tell him or me?” She handed the phone to me.

“Listen here, Ryan… this is getting out of control,” I started. I went into an angry monologue while he just listened patiently.

“Are you through?” he asked.

“Yes, I suppose so.”

“Good. I will not argue with you about this right now. I will come over there later this afternoon and we will spend some time together on this topic, but I will absolutely not have this discussion on the telephone with you. Understood?”

“Yes,” I answered. His hypnotic power over me was coming back. It was his cool demeanor, the warmth in his voice.

“Yes, what?” he asked.

“Yes, Sir,” I answered. I looked down between my legs. My cock, which had lost its stiffness during my tirade, was swelling again. Kay noticed it too. She put her hand on it, and she pulled herself up to put her mouth on my neck and nibble on my ear. She did this as much so she could hear what Ryan was telling me as anything else.

“It’s ok that you have moments of doubt; that is expected. I will not, however, reward you for this behavior. You will not be fucking your wife today. Look at her pussy… do you see that? That pussy belongs to me, understand?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“For right now, I want you to bury your face in your wife’s ass and beg her for forgiveness. Give the phone back to her.” I handed the phone to Kay. She smiled as she spoke to Ryan and laid herself out on the bed on her stomach. I pushed the cheeks of her ass apart and placed my lips and tongue on her asshole. Kay remained listening on the phone, but then turned her head towards me with a wicked grin.

“Ryan says not to forget your place… cuckold. He wants to hear you begging for forgiveness.”

“Please, Kay, forgive me. I lost my head for a moment, but I know what I am. I am your cuckold, your servant, your submissive husband.”

“And… I will absolutely fuck Jack tonight as you watch everything from the closet. And I will do it because not only do I want to feel his cock pushing inside my body,” she laughed as if sharing an inside joke with Ryan, “but because it is for your own good. It will bring you closer to me.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” I muttered.

“Here,” she handed the phone back to me, “Ryan wants to talk to you.”

I lifted my face from my wife’s ass and took the phone. Ryan’s voice was commanding and curt. “I’ll be at your house today at 4:00. Make sure you’ve given yourself no less than three enemas.” The phone hung up.

Before I was allowed to leave the room with Kay, she insisted on helping me back into my chastity device. “If everything goes well, tonight,” she said, “I’ll let you fuck me tonight after Jack leaves. Ok, sweetie?”

“Yes, dear,” I said.

“Good boy. I know you love me, and you know I love you. Nothing that happens tonight will affect that. Now go. I know you’ve got work to do.”

I did have work to do, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to focus on my job with all the distractions in my life. I banged out email all day and went from conference call to conference call. I booked a week’s worth of meetings out of town for the next week, and I shuttered as I thought about what Kay would be doing while I was away. It was 3:00 before I remembered that Ryan had wanted me to triple clean myself with enemas before he was to arrive at four. I went into the bathroom and did exactly what he had asked. I wondered, however, what was coming. He had never been so careful about this before.

When 4:00 came, there was no Ryan. I marked time in fifteen minute increments, and by 4:45, there was still no Ryan. I went back to my email and for a short while, even allowed myself to forget about the evening’s agenda. I was distracted, but then I heard Kay’s car pulling out of the garage. I dialed her cell, but she chose not to answer.

It was 9:30 that night before I heard from anyone. “Get into the guest room closet,” said Kay without any introductory small talk. “Wear nothing but your chastity device.” She hung up before I could respond.

I hurried out of my clothes and got myself into the closet upstairs. I stood silent, listening to myself breathe in the darkness for at least thirty minutes before I heard the first trace of Kay and her guest downstairs. Finally, I heard steps on the stairs, and lights clicked on in the room. This gave me perfect visibility to Kay and Jack from my position behind the one-way glass.

“So Jack,” said Kay as she climbed onto the bed, “How does it make you feel that you’re going to fuck the wife of the man that fired you?”

Jack laughed. “I love it. Your husband was such a prick to me.” Jack was taller than me, younger, and better looking. I had been forced to fire him because he was missing his sales numbers quarter after quarter. It didn’t hurt that I didn’t like the guy. I always had a feeling that he was talking about me behind my back.

“I want you to talk dirty to me while you fuck me, ok?” said Kay. “I want you to talk to me like I’m your little fucking whore and tell me how you love fucking me.”

Jack laughed again as he rushed to get out of his clothes. “Sure, bitch,” he said with a Grin. “Why don’t you start by getting out of those clothes and sucking my cock?” I watched Kay make a little show out of stripping for him. She dropped to her knees, and I watched her deep throat this man that I detested. Kay made certain that the angle at which she positioned herself gave me the perfect view of her devotion to his flesh.

He pulled her up by tugging on her hair, and pushed her back onto the bed. She pushed her legs apart and begged for him to fuck her. His cock pushed inside her without any of the drama that Ryan had provided for me, and he made quick work of bringing her to her first orgasm. “Lift me, hold me,” she screamed.

Jack lifted her up and bounced her upon his hard cock, kissing her passionately as she whimpered with pleasure. At one point, he walked her over to the wall immediately next to my one-way glass. She looked at me over his shoulder and winked. Soon thereafter, he had her on the floor fucking her from behind. Now the verbal assault began as he became less and less inhibited. “Fucking bitch… that’s right… fuck my cock… your fucking husband has a whore for a wife… a whore that loves my cock.”

Kay responded with an intensity of her own. “Yes, yes… fuck me…. yes.”

“I’m going to pull out and cum on your face, bitch.”

“No, please... cum in my pussy. I want to feel you explode inside me, please.”

“Whatever you say, bitch.” Jack’s face tightened and clenched his fists as he let himself climax inside my wife. The two collapsed together on the floor.

“Thank you so much,” said Kay. “You are an incredible lover. Please tell me we can do this again.”

“Absolutely,” said Jack. “I’ll make you my regular bitch, no problem.”

“Mmmmm, thank you,” said Kay. She was sliding her tongue down his stomach. She put his softening cock in her mouth and wiped it clean.

“Wow, you really are a slut,” said Jack.

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” smiled Kay. “You’d better go now. Jack will be home in an hour.”

Jack stood, dressed himself and stepped out of the room. He gave Kay a polite hug before he left; I suppose to let her know that he considered the dirty talk all role play. In fact, I’m sure it came easy to him.

***

It was about fifteen minutes later that Kay came back into the room and opened the closet door. Ryan, to my surprise, was standing with her. Kay wore a robe, and Ryan wore only loose-fitting soccer shorts. Ryan motioned for me to follow him, and we all walked together into the master bedroom. Ryan told Kay to have a seat in a chair, and he had me kneel in front of them both. He stepped out of his soccer shorts, and even his non-erect cock was impressive.

“Let me explain something to you, Jay. This is not a game, this is not a temporary situation, and it is not optional. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir,” I replied meekly.

“How did you like watching your wife fuck Jack?”

I hesitated before answering. “If it pleased her, it pleased me.”

“Good answer. She’s going to be fucking anybody I tell her to fuck, Jay, so get used to it. You are a cuckold… let me hear you say it.”

“I am cuckold,” I said. Kay laughed.

“Why don’t you elaborate, Jay? Ad lib a little bit for us.”

“I am a cuckold. My wife fucks other men while I watch. I submit to her and her lovers.”

“Better, much better. Tell me, cuck, what’s the most humiliating thing that a cuckold can do?”

“Watch his wife fuck another man,” I answered.

“Not even close. Try again.”

“Suck another man’s cum from my wife’s pussy?”

“Closer. Let me give you a clue.” He opened his hand and revealed a small bottle of lube. “You’ve sucked my cock before, cuckie, but I’ve never fucked you. I’d much rather fuck your wife, but I think you need to be reminded of your place. So why don’t you start eating the cum out of your wife’s pussy, while I get behind you and fuck you.”

I moved between Kay’s legs and experienced again the now familiar taste of another man’s conquest. “This is getting me hard just watching your slut wife open her legs,” said Ryan from behind me. I felt him rubbing the head of his cock against my ass crack and his hands pulling my cheeks apart. His fingers spread the cold lube against my asshole, and I felt the head of his cock opening me up to him. “Ah… yes, this is nice. What a tight little ass you have, cuck. Your wife is going to have to spend more time fucking you with that strap-on of hers.”

Kay put her hand on my head; Ryan put his on my waist. There was an electric moment where the reality of who I had become overwhelmed me. Then and there I stopped fighting it. I embraced my submission. I felt whole for the first time since this had started. This wasn’t subspace, this was much more. I was a cuckold… a submissive bitch to my wife and her lover, and this was a majestic thing to be.

Ryan’s deep strokes stopped… he clenched my waist. I felt his cock pulse, and I was warm inside with his gift to me. I thanked him… for everything. I curled up at his feet, and I thanked him.

Fighting him and fighting myself was behind me. This was my new beginning, and I would never look back.

10th Installment

2008-02-25T06:11:00.000-08:00

I was brought out of the room, and put into a chastity device before being locked unceremoniously into a steel cage where I spent the rest of the night. Outside, I could hear the three of them fucking, screaming, and ultimately laughing and talking quietly. Kay was not part of their inter-circle,not one of them so to speak, but she was much more privileged in this group than I was. I contemplated my new existence as I drifted off to sleep.

I was awoken fairly early. Ryan had gotten up to pee, and came in to get me up so that I could go out and buy the groceries I would need to prepare them all breakfast. He let me out of the cage, but kept the chastity device on me. “Hurry back, and make sure the bacon isn’t too crisp,” said Ryan.

When I returned from the grocery store, I could hear them up and talking quietly from the bedroom. Soon, the talk evolved into sex, and I could hear soft moans coming from both of the women. Breakfast was nearly ready when I heard my wife call to me. “Jay, come in here. I’ve got something for you.” I scurried into the bedroom and saw Kay positioned in the middle of Ryan and Suzanne. They were all naked and looked unbelievably beautiful together like that.

“Right here, Jay, right between Kay’s legs,” ordered Suzanne. I nestled into position with my head at Kay’s pussy. She held her legs tightly together. “Open your legs up, dear,” she said to Kay. Kay spread her legs and I could see now why I was called into the room. Ryan’s semen was spilling out of my wife.

Without a word being spoken, I put my mouth to her pussy. I felt her hand touch the back of my head and pull me in closer. “Good boy,” she said. “You surprise me, honey. I didn’t know you had this in you.” She purred as Suzanne leaned in to kiss her.

“That’s enough,” said Ryan. “You’ve had your breakfast, now go get ours ready.”

I scurried out of the bedroom and back to the kitchen. There was work to be done.

*** Chapter 5 ***

I was sent home late that morning and was told that Kay would be dropped off at the house by 5:00. I was to have the entire house cleaned from top to bottom and the laundry washed, ironed and put away. My wife, I was informed, had some training of her own to undergo, and that when she returned home, it would be my turn to get an “expectation setting” conversation.

I worked like mad to get the house clean. I was just putting up the last of the laundry when Kay walked in the house shortly after 5:30. “Meet me in the guest room in fifteen minutes. Bring wine and one glass.” She stepped into the master (ironic word) bathroom and shut the door behind her.

Fifteen minutes later, I was kneeling in front of the wingback chair in the guest room waiting for my wife to arrive. I wore only the chastity device that I had been wearing since last night. She stepped into the room wearing only a short, white robe. She took a seat in the chair, and extended her hands to take the glass of wine from me. “I guess we didn’t know what we were each capable of becoming,” she said in a whispered voice. She smiled and sipped on the wine. “And I still think we can become so much more. Don’t you agree?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“First, let me tell you that I now know everything. I know how you responded to Suzanne’s ad for a professional Mistress. I know how you became a whore to both of them while I sat home, feeling lonely and ignored. I know how you set me up to be seduced by Ryan… how you were so willing to have him fuck me.” In truth, I wondered if she did know everything. Did she know, for example, she was on camera when Ryan was fucking her on the massage table? At this point, however, did it really matter?

“I’m sorry,” I muttered.

“Don’t be. It’s all working out perfectly as far as I’m concerned. I like our new arrangement very much. I think you do as well, am I right?”

“Yes, I confess. I do like it. I don’t understand it, but I love it.”

“It’s ok, honey. I’m here to make this dream a reality for you. You will become my perfect, submissive cuckold in every way. You’ll wear that chastity device on your pathetic cock all the time. I’ll expect that you obey me perfectly, and that you do things that you know please me on your own initiative. Ryan will fuck me when it pleases him. You may or may not be involved. He also thinks that I should recruit a small group of lovers other than him. He thinks they should be men that you and I both already know. Any suggestions?”

“No, I’m sorry, I don’t. I....”

Kay interrupted me. “Don’t worry. I have some ideas. For example, I’ve never told you this, but Jack Hanover has been flirting with me for years. He called me after you fired him. He said that while you two would obviously never be friends again, he wanted me to know that if there was ever anything I needed, to please call him. I never called him, but I have masturbated to the thought of being fucked by that man a hundred times. He’s still single; I checked.”

“Honey, he’s still friends with Chuck (my rival at work). He would tell Chuck and everyone at my company would know.”

“Would know what, Jay? Would know that he fucked me, or that not only he fucked me, but that you are also a submissive cuckold… a man that likes to watch his wife be fucked by other men. Which did you mean, Jay?”

“Either would be bad,” I said.

“Well, maybe I’ll just keep you in the closet while Jack fucks me. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if your rival knew he was only fucking me and not the whole truth. But when he leaves… when he goes home… you’ll be out of the closet and then you know what happens. Right, Jay.”

“What’s that?”

Kay leaned back and opened up her robe. She put one leg over the arms of the chair and the other over my shoulder. “Ryan fucked me hard right before I left.” Her pussy exposed, I could see that it was still red and swollen from the sex. It was barely dripping Ryan’s semen. I put my mouth to her crotch and licked hungrily. “There you go. I know you love doing this. You’ll really love doing it when its Jack’s cum, won’t you?”

“Anything for you, dear.”

“And Suzanne, she promised to teach me how to keep you in line. She’s says there are lots of wonderful ways to remind you who’s in charge around here. I’ll be getting some of my own equipment… strap-ons, paddles, cuffs. And you’ll be doing a lot of housework. When you are not at work, and not traveling, you’ll be home, cooking, cleaning, and doing everything you took for granted from me for years. And I may be here… or maybe not. I might be called over by Suzanne or Ryan, so lick them, suck them or fuck them… whatever they want.” I bowed my head in resignation of what awaited me.

“But don’t worry, dear. I really do love. I really do care for you. You know this don’t you?”

“Yes, of course,” I responded.

“My eyes have been opened to what it is that you need. I never appreciated how fundamental submission was to who you are. I knew you had asked me to play “games” with you before... tying you up, that sort of thing. I just never knew that this was just the tip of the iceberg. I never understood how deeply you craved complete submission. Does this all resonate with you?”

“Yes, it does.” I was not telling her what she wanted to hear. This was the truth.

“Tell me. I want to hear it from you.”

“I’ve never been able to escape the fact,” I started to respond, “that I knew I could be closer with you if I were to submit to you. I am so sorry that I went behind your back to tried and fulfill these urges to submit, but they were so strong. I am so sorry I pulled you into this the way I did. I love you so much”

“Don’t worry, baby,” she assured me. “I’ am going to take good care of you. I love you more than ever. This is all for the best.” She pulled me back into her pussy. I started to service her again, but she stopped me. “Don’t kiss it, just be close to me… just breathe.”

I lay against her with tears forming in my eyes. “I love you so much.”

“No more talking, just breathe.”

Femdom Study Group: Initial Results Available

2008-02-25T05:52:00.000-08:00

Interesting initial results, but I sense the best is yet to come.

http://femdomstudygroup.blogspot.com/

9th Installment

2008-02-21T12:12:00.000-08:00

We met all met at a Latin club where they serve dinner around the perimeter of a large dance floor. This was in an odd part of town, and I bet that we were one of the few couples in the club that were not speaking Spanish that evening. There was certainly nobody there that we knew.

Of course I pretended that I had never met Suzanne, and that I had only briefly met Ryan when I had bought the gift certificate. There was dinner, and then dancing, and a polite request from Ryan to bring Kay onto the dance floor. There was wine, and there were awkward but scripted moments, and soon we were back at Suzanne and Ryan’s home with even more wine.

If I omit details, it is as much because I feel that they are not important as it is that I do not remember them. I do remember thinking that it was clearly scripted on Kay’s part when we were alone for a moment in their living room and she asked me if I minded her dancing with Ryan. “No,” I told her, giving her my own scripted responses, “actually, it really turned me on.”

This comment lit a fire under my wife. She kissed me like we were newlyweds again. When Suzanne and Ryan returned to the room, I got up to use the restroom. When I came back, the three of them were sitting together on the couch giggling like school kids. “So, Jay,” called Ryan when I stepped into the room, “it turned you on when I was dancing with your wife?” Kay slapped at Ryan’s chest teasingly. She looked at me as if to apologize with her eyes. “Why,” he asked. “Why does it possibly turn you on?”

This was not scripted, but it was my moment nonetheless. “I’ve always had a fantasy of watching Kay with another man,” I said. Kay’s jaw dropped. I stood there silent and exposed.

“What do you mean,” asked Ryan. “You’ve fantasized about watching another man dance with your wife… kiss her… fuck her?” I stood silent and motionless. “Because if Kay is game, I’d be up for it. Kay… would you like to kiss me?”

“Go ahead,” said Suzanne, “It turns me on too.” Kay smiled, but did not move. She looked to me for my response.

“It’s ok, honey. If you want to….” She closed her eyes and moved her parted lips to Ryan’s mouth. There was a moment, a gentle coming together of these two lovers, and then stillness and silence.

“Stand,” commanded Ryan. I watched Kay react to his words. She stood, compelled to obey him. “Undress.” Kay looked back at me, not for approval, but only to gauge my reaction. It was a forced, half smile. It was not that I was upset… I was drifting into sub-space. She lifted her shirt over head, not bothering to undo the buttons. She stepped out of her shoes. She let her skirt fall and stepped out of it as well. She stood, her back to me, wearing black lace panties, garters and sheer stockings. I had not seen her wear garters in ten years.

“Take off the panties, but leave the garters on,” commanded Ryan.

“You want to watch me fuck your wife?” Ryan’s eyes met mine, but Kay’s remained with her back to me.

“Yes,” I answered.

Ryan stood and undid the buttons on his shirt, one by one. He pulled his shoes off, removed his socks, and stood bare-chested in front of Kay. “Kneel down,” he told her. She obeyed and buried her face in his hard stomach, unable to wait to connect with his flesh. “You, kneel also.” He spoke to me as if my submission was a given. It was; I knelt.

Kay moved to undo Ryan’s belt, and was soon helping him step out of his pants. Had I not already known what was happening, Kay would have betrayed the ruse as she started to kiss his cock with a practiced familiararity. Suzanne took a position behind me, and started unbuttoning my own shirt. Soon I was naked, all fours on the floor, staring at my wife deep-throating another man. “You love this cock, don’t you, dear?" said Ryan as he stroked her hair. "You’ll do anything I ask of you.”

I hadn’t noticed that Suzanne had left the room, but she stepped back into it dressed only in a vinyl corset and a strap-on. In a latex-gloved hand she held a bottle of lubrication, and in her other hand she held a collar and leash. I lifted my neck to accept my collar, and then I felt her working my asshole with her finger and gloved hand. The dildo on her strap-on was small, much smaller than what I had learned to take over the course of my time with her.

Suzanne was now positioned behind me, barely on the verge of entering me while she tugged on the leash just enough to keep my head up. Ryan took this as his cue. He positioned Kay on all fours facing me, my feminine mirror image. As she had her back to me up until now, this was the first she saw of what I had become for Suzanne, and her eyes opened wide… her surprise dissolving into a wicked smile. In Ryan’s hands appeared a collar and leash of his own. He held it out in front of Kay to see it. "Are you ready for this he asked?" She nodded in affirmative with her eyes still locked on me. She took it from him, fumbling with it as her hands shook while putting it on her own neck.

“Crawl forward,” ordered Suzanne. “Close enough to kiss your wife, but don’t touch her yet.”

Ryan looked at Suzanne and nodded his head. Instantly I felt her vinyl dildo push inside of me. At the same moment, I saw Kay’s mouth widen, her eyes shut, and I saw Ryan’s neck tighten. He was inside of her, fucking my wife like his whore. “Kiss each other,” commanded Ryan. “You belong to us now, the games are all behind us.”

Our leashes were kept tight enough to remind us of our positions as my wife and I kissed each other with a new passion and abandon. I could feel Ryan’s thrusts into Kay like the reverberations of a bass drum, and Suzanne matched them beat for beat with her own strokes into me. “Is this what you want,” I whispered to Kay.

“More than anything,” she answered. It was over.

Eighth Installment

2008-02-20T05:44:00.000-08:00

I'd love to finish this story in Elise Sutton's Pre-Dominant newsletter... thoughts?

***************

After I left Ryan and Suzanne, I did not even go back to my office. I went straight to the airport where I would have to catch a flight that would have me out of town for the entire week. On the ride to the airport, I was trying to make sense of what was happening to me. There was no doubt that I was pursuing behavior that gave me a powerful sense of macabre satisfaction, something that filled a need and satisfied a craving that to anyone else would seem completely irrational. It seemed that in pursuing this need I was sacrificing everything that had ever mattered to me in my life.

The only term that came to my mind for this irrational behavior on my part was addiction. Cuckolding was my heroin, my junk, the thing that occupied my thoughts and moved me towards what seemed like a life very different than the comfortable one that I had lived up to now. I was trading it all for the overwhelming sense of indisputable and perfect knowledge that my submission was complete. I would be balled up in a corner, my mind warmed by submission but my soul cold and shaking from what I had sacrificed.

I called Kay that evening, just to check in, realizing that she had no idea that I had witnessed her affair with Ryan. She was a little cold and distant, and indicated that her day was uneventful. I told her I loved her and let her know I was missing her already. There was a pause before she told me she loved me as well. Her tone was very convincing. I thought maybe I could stop everything in its tracks if I just acted quickly to reconnect with her.

Little did I know that even as I was speaking to her, she was in the bathroom readying herself for an evening with Ryan. She met him out at a restaurant frequented by people much younger that ourselves, and in a trendy but out of the way part of town. There was very little risk that they would have run into someone we know… unless of course, it was engineered.

When Suzanne walked into the restaurant, Ryan acted as though it were a complete surprise. “Wow, Suzanne… there’s someone I want you to meet. This is Kay, she and I work out together. Kay, this is Suzanne… my roommate.”

“Roommate,” remarked Kay, raising her eyebrows in surprise.

“Oh, don’t worry… there’s a long way between roommate and girlfriend,” answered Suzanne.

“Who are you meeting here,” asked Ryan.

“Actually… you, Ryan. I left my keys in my briefcase which is sitting in the back of Meg’s car. You had mentioned you had the reservations, so I just swung by to see if I could borrow yours. I’ll be home, and I’ll just leave the door open.”

“That’s no problem,” said Ryan, “But why don’t you join us for at least a glass of wine. I mean, you drove all this way. Kay… is that ok with you?”

“Sure, why not,” said Kay.

Suzanne ended up staying through most of the dinner. Kay played right into their plans as the two women hit it off marvelously. After Suzanne left Ryan and Kay at the restaurant to finish their desert without her, Kay rambled on about how sweet Suzanne was as Ryan continued to refill her wine and continued to pour on the charm. Kay was becoming putty in their hands.

When Kay and Ryan finally got home, Suzanne was already sitting in front of the couch watching TV in very dim light, easily unnoticed. The two lovers opened the front door and pushed their way into the foyer, mouths locked and hands exploring each other with a sense of hurried anticipation. Kay was drunk, and Ryan intentionally kept her back to Suzanne as he lifted her into the den. Then he positioned her down on the couch so that Suzanne was still not in plane sight. Suzanne remained in the shadows, sitting motionless and still… wearing a tight-fitting woman’s t-shirt and panties, drinking white wine.

It appeared that Kay was not aware that Suzanne was in the room. Her eyes were half closed as Ryan managed to get her dress off and lay her down with her back on the couch. He pulled off his own pants and straddled her chest, reaching back behind him to play gently with Kay’s pussy with one hand while positioning his cock in her mouth with the other. Kay was distracted by her hunger to taste and satisfy Ryan. She didn’t notice when the strong hand between her legs was replaced by a softer, gentler hand. And if she even noticed when that hand became a warm mouth, she said nothing.

As Kay’s hips started to gyrate, Ryan and Suzanne knew that they would soon have her. Suzanne let the pace of her tongue become more rapid. Ryan shifted so that one foot was on the floor and one knee was on the couch, his cock remaining in Kay’s mouth the entire time. The result of Ryan’s shifting himself on the couch was that his body no longer blocked Kay’s view of Suzanne. Kay’s eyes opened and fixed on the beautiful blonde woman between her legs. A woman was eating her pussy for the first time in her life. She embraced the moment, and her fingers found their way to the back of Suzanne’s head. She ran them through the fine, straight hair and moaned softly.

With this Ryan pulled his cock out of Kay’s mouth and lifted her up into his arms. Suzanne stood and removed her own shirt and panties. She followed Ryan into their bedroom. He was laying Kay straight out on the bed on her stomach. Suzanne moved around to the front of the bed, propping herself up against some pillows so that her open legs came together to give Kay her first taste of pussy.

Ryan lifted Kay’s hips slightly. He positioned the head of his cock at the precipice of Kay’s warm opening, but waited until he saw her lips touch Suzanne’s pussy before pushing inside of her. Suzanne stroked Kay’s hair as Ryan fucked her with only his own pleasure in mind. This was only the beginning of my wife’s seduction, but as it continued, Kay’s pleasure would become less and less consequential to Ryan and Suzanne. Ironically, their indifference would only serve to heighten Kay’s pleasure.

Despite the distraction of Ryan’s hard, thrusting cock, Kay proved to be very adept at licking Suzanne’s pussy. Suzanne later told me that Kay was a natural, and wasn’t content to just go through the motions. She was ravenous, exploring every corner of Suzanne’s crotch, inhaling deeply as if the aroma intoxicated her as it also did me.

After Ryan released his seed in Kay, he got up and left the room to clean up, leaving the two women to cuddle in each other’s arms and kiss and neck like new lovers often do. Suzanne let her hand find Kay’s pussy, and put her finger inside to drench it in Ryan’s cum. She put it inside my wife’s mouth and she nursed it like a hungry kitten.

“Do you like losing your inhibitions with us?” asked Suzanne.

“Yes,” nodded Kay.

“I seem to sense that you might have a submissive side,” remarked Suzanne.

“Maybe,” responded Kay.

“We’ll see,” said Suzanne as the two drifted off to sleep, still embracing each other.

Suzanne was gone the next morning when Kay woke up, but Ryan had crawled back into bed in the middle of the night. He had made Kay breakfast, and they drank a cup of coffee together making comfortable small talk until Kay left shortly thereafter.

“You’ll be back tonight, right?” asked Ryan. “I mean, you said your husband would be gone all week.”

“If you’ll have me,” smiled Kay.

“Oh, we’ll have you,” replied Ryan with his own smile beaming from ear to ear.

***

When Kay returned that night, it was Ryan’s turn to have slipped away. Suzanne greeted Kay at the door with a kiss on the cheek and told her that Ryan had gone to buy some wine, but he would be back soon.

“I wish I’d known,” said Kay, flashing two bottles of wine that she had brought.

Suzanne smiled and walked Kay into the kitchen to grab a bottle opener. She handed it to Kay and Kay worked on the cork, pulling it and filling three glasses that Suzanne placed on the counter. She leaned forward and kissed Kay before handing her a glass. Kay was smitten.

“So you had fun last night?” asked Suzanne.

“Absolutely, I feel like I’m letting myself go for the very first time. My husband and I have drifted so far apart that there’s no intimacy anymore. I wish that wasn’t so, but it is. Last night I feel like I made up for lost time.”

“We loved it too. We talked about it all day. Ryan and I think we can have something really special with you, but you just have to trust us.”

“What do you mean?” asked Kay.

“Oh, I’ll explain later. Just tell me about your day. The two women drifted off into small talk and munched on some cheese and crackers that Suzanne put on a plate for them. Soon, however, Suzanne’s cell phone rang and interrupted them.

“It’s Ryan,” she said looking at the caller ID. “No, I haven’t said anything about it yet. Yes, I promise I will. Hurry back.”

“Said anything about what?” asked Kay.

“Well, we have this little fantasy… do you think you’d be up for something a bit kinky?”

“Well,” answered Kay with a smile, “by my standards I’ve already been up to something kinky. What do you have in mind?”

“Ryan and I were thinking,” she bit her lip and cocked her head just a bit, “that it might be fun tonight if you were our little sex slave. We wouldn’t do anything that made you uncomfortable, just a little harmless role playing. What do you think?”

Kay rubbed her finger around the rim of her wine glass. She put the glass to her mouth, closed her eyes, and emptied it before setting it back down on the calendar. “Your wish is my command,” she said with a smile.

“Perfect,” responded Suzanne. She filled Kay’s glass and instructed her to wait in the living room while she grabbed a few ‘things’. She unlocked the door to her chambers and went inside, closing and locking the door behind her. When she stepped out ten minutes later, she was dressed to the nines. From the leather tips of her thigh-high boots, to the top laces of her leather corset, she was in amazing form. In her right hand she held a collar and a leash. As she walked into the living room Kay started to stand. “Sit back down,” ordered Suzanne. She extended her gloved hand to Kay’s mouth, and Kay put her tongue to work licking the tips of Suzanne’s fingers.

Kay was made to strip and kneel in front of Suzanne. “I’m not going to put this collar on you, not yet anyway.” She held the collar in front of Kay. “If you really want to belong to us, you’ll put it on yourself. But we’ll explain all this to you later. Although… I bet right now you’re thinking you want to belong to us, don’t you?” She pulled Kay’s mouth to her waist. “Kiss your Mistress’s pussy.” Kay’s lips touched Suzanne’s body. She closed her eyes and lost herself in her submissive passions.

“Save some of that energy for me, pet.” It was Ryan. He had slipped quietly back into the house from the garage and standing naked beside Suzanne. He leaned down on one knee and kissed Kay softly on the side of her mouth. She tried to make more of the kiss, but that was all he offered. Ryan took a seat on the couch across the room. “Come here, pet.” Kay stood to walk to Ryan. “No, no… crawl.” Kay dropped back to her knees and crawled to her new Master. Ryan spread his legs slightly. “Suck on my cock… that’s a good girl.”

Suzanne was now standing behind Kay. She had pulled on her strap-on, but in her hand she held a very small vibrator. She placed it against Kay’s pussy, and Kay turned to see what was happening. “No, no,” said Ryan. “Eyes on me.”

The combination of her first foray into submission, and the pulsating vibrations that Suzanne was working between her legs was intoxicating Kay. She wanted only to satisfy Ryan, and he was coaching her to fight her gag reflex and to take his cock into the back of her throat. He stopped he as he got close to cumming, and had her lick his balls and place only soft, gentle kisses on the length of his cock. “What do you think your husband would think of this?” asked Ryan.

Kay paused to look up at Ryan. “I think he couldn’t imagine this. He’s very sexually… dull... I guess that’s the word He wouldn’t think I have this in me.”

“Call me ‘Sir’ when you speak to me, ok, Kay. Call me ‘Sir’ and Suzanne “Ma’am”.”

“Yes, Sir,” responded Kay. She went back to kissing Ryan’s balls.

“Many men,” said Suzanne from behind her, “get very turned on by watching their wife act like such a slut. I bet your husband would like to watch you suck Ryan’s cock like you do. Do you know what it’s called when a husband likes to watch his wife get fucked by another man?” Kay shook her head. “It makes him a ‘cuckold’. It makes him a submissive, cuckold. The woman not only ends up fucking whoever she wants, she ends up with a husband that does whatever she tells him to do. Do you think that maybe your husband would want to be a cuckold?”

Kay stopped suddenly and looked at them both very seriously. “Why the interest in my husband all of a sudden?”

“Sir. Refer to me as Sir.”

“Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir. Why the sudden interest in my husband, Sir.”

“Because you cannot wear that collar… you cannot really belong to us as long as we are a secret from him. We don’t want to share you, we want to own you.”

Suzanne, who has been running the vibrator she held against Kay on a very slow speed, suddenly turned it up. Then she positioned the head of her strap-on against the moistening lips of Kay’s pussy. Kay closed her eyes and caught her breath. The pleasure was catching up to her. Suzanne pushed herself inside of Kay and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “You want to belong to us, don’t you?”

“Tell you husband that you’ve arranged to go out to dinner with your new trainer and his girlfriend on Saturday night. We’ll take it from there,” commanded Ryan.

“Yes, Sir.” These were the last words she muttered before abandoning her body to the pure sexual pleasure of sucking Ryan’s cock and being fucked by Suzanne’s strap-on.

Saturday would be here before she knew it.

Seventh Installment

2008-02-16T10:26:00.000-08:00

Note from Katherine: How much longer, dear reader, do you think this story can continue? Isn't it everything I promised?

*** 7th Installment Follows ***

“He’s fucking your wife,” whispered Suzanne.

He created a rhythm for her. She matched him, and a passionate clash of bodies and tongues and fingers grabbing and exploring followed. Kay moaned and screamed and I could have taken off my headphones and still have heard her perfectly through the walls.

“She will love you both forever,” said Suzanne. Her tongue nibbled on my ears and her hand stroked my cock.

Kay gripped the sides of the massage table and lifted her neck so that her chin touched her breasts. Ryan now ignored the camera and just allowed himself the joy of his conquest. His strength, his confidence, his masculinity seemed to impress itself on my wife with every thrust of his cock into her body. She reacted to him like she had never done to me.

Suzanne stepped in front of me. She switched off the monitors and flipped another switch changing the input on my headphones from the microphone in the adjacent room to a CD playing techno dance music. She looked down at me and smiled. She had just given my wife and her lover privacy, and locked me out of their pleasure. She placed a blindfold around my eyes, securing it tightly behind my head. I slumped forward, overcome with a sense of physical and emotional vertigo.

I wasn’t sure how much time passed; it could have been fifteen minutes or it could have been an hour. I wasn’t awake, but I wasn’t sleeping either when Ryan pulled the blindfold off of me, removed the ball gag, and lifted off the headphones. He stood towering above me, naked with his cock hanging loosely between his legs. Suzanne was several feet behind him, standing with her arms crossed. Immediately I sensed something familiar. It was the scent of my wife.

“I fucked your wife, just like I said I would. She’s such a slut. She couldn’t get enough of my cock… first her mouth and then her pussy. And her pussy was so tight, like it had never been fucked before. And when I came, my cock was buried deep in her pussy.”

Suzanne moved behind Ryan and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I put my finger into her pussy, and I covered it in my cum… I put it to her mouth and she sucked my finger dry… my cum and her pussy juices… and she sucked it dry, like a dirty, fucking whore. Suzanne reached around Ryan’s waist and put her cock in his hands. She rubbed on his balls, and stroked his shaft until it started to stiffen in front of me. “But I didn’t let her clean off my cock. My cock, all sticky with her cum and my own… I saved that for you.”

He grabbed the back of my head and pushed his stiff cock into my mouth and down to the back of my throat. I could taste him, I could taste Kay, and I could smell the product of their sex in the matted nest of pubic hairs into which he pushed my nose. I fought my gag reflex as he fucked the back of my throat with a detached sense of abandonment like he had never shown before. I was almost sick when he finally came, and his warm seed dribbled down the back of my throat.

Suzanne went around behind me and unlocked the spreader bar. “Clean yourself up and get the fuck out of here,” she commanded.

“And keep your fucking cock out of my new pussy,” added Ryan. With that he and Suzanne walked out of the room, his arm around her shoulders and both of them not even looking back.

Sixth Installment

2008-02-08T12:10:00.000-08:00

Suzanne greeted me at the door that day. She was “dressed for play” as she would say, wearing a vinyl corset, garters and fishnet hose. She wore long gloves that covered her forearms and laced up over her elbows. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she wore gothic make-up with blackish lipstick, heavy eyeliner, and a pale, unnatural skin tone. She greeted me with a long, deep kiss. She had never kissed me before.

“Oh, Jay,” she said, her face almost touching mine, her lips still exploring my mouth. “This is such a special day for you. Your cuckolding begins. What a wonderful journey this has been for you. I promised I would really take control of you, and it is happening just like I planned, just like you wanted.” She grabbed a fistful of hair on the top of my head and pushed me down to my knees. She put both hands on the back of my head and pulled me to her pussy. I kissed the soft, exposed lips that I had grown to accept as the epicenter of my life. My tongue searched for her clit and stroked it softly and rhythmically as she had taught me.

Ryan walked into the foyer, completely naked and stood revealing his perfect body to me. Suzanne pulled herself away from me and embraced her lover. His cock stiffened in response. “We’ll own you both, my pet,” she said. “It will be wonderful.”

Ryan stared at me silently. “Get him ready,” he said to Suzanne. She pulled me upright by my hair and led me into her chambers. I was again made to strip and take my position in front of the monitors. This time I was bound and a ball gag was put in my mouth. I was left alone with my thoughts for a full forty minutes before Kay arrived at the door and Suzanne slipped back in with me to await the events that were about to unfold.

Kay looked gorgeous in another one of her new workout outfits. There definitely seemed to be a chemistry in the air as she and Ryan went through the motions of the workout session. Smiles lingered a little longer than was natural. There was a closeness that was more than I had seen even the previous week.

“We thought about actually getting you into the room with them when they first fuck, but we couldn’t get comfortable with the idea,” explained Suzanne. “We thought maybe we could put you in a chest and put the chest under the massage table. Or maybe we could have put you in the closet. We were just afraid that you would sneeze or something and give it all away. Also, we figured it would be better to actually watch it rather than just hear it.”

My ball gag prevented me from answering, but I nodded in general agreement.

“Did you notice that we moved the massage table just a bit? We didn’t want to move the cameras because they are already so well hidden, so we just turned the table a bit. This will let him look right over Kay’s head and into the camera. You’ll be able to make virtual eye contact with him while he’s slipping his cock in your wife.”

I nodded to acknowledge that I understood.

“Oh, and we’ve put a microphone in the kitchen. We didn’t have time to get another camera set up, but the microphone is all set. You’ll get to hear the two of them chatting each other up over their after sex coffee.”

An hour had not passed, but Ryan called the workout session to a halt and sent Kay off to the showers. This time I remained in Suzanne’s chambers while Ryan waited for Kay in the workout room. Suzanne briefly left the room leaving me alone, but returned long before the water in Kay’s shower stopped running. As she had before, she set a chair next to me so we could watch the massage on the monitors.

Kay returned from the showers and stepped into view on the monitors. While it was impossible for me to tell, it seemed that she might have deliberately revealed her naked body to Ryan as she took her position on the table. Ryan helped her with the towel that covered her as she lay down and stretched out to await his massage. The towell seemed smaller than in past weeks, covering her from just barely below her ass to a little more than midway up her back.

He started by rubbing her head, making little circles against her scalp and temples with his outstretched hand, and drawling out her long, dark hair very slowly so that it fell against the top of her shoulders. Then he moved to the side of the table and placed both of his hands on her shoulder, using a firm grip to relieve the tension in her neck. He pulled her hair to one side, then leaned in and put his lips against her neck for just a moment, lifting himself upright immediately afterwards. Kay responded with an audible exhale and a feline stretch of her spine that did nothing to discourage his advance into uncharted territory. Encouraged, he placed another kiss where her shoulder slopes up to her neck. Her eyes remained closed and her lips parted, softening her features in the dim light.

Suzanne lifted one leg onto my shoulder, exposing her pussy to my peripheral vision. She placed a gloved finger against her clit and started to stimulate herself. “He’s such a sensual lover,” she calmly remarked. “You could never please your wife the way that he will.”

Suzanne remained in my periphery as my eyes were fixed to the monitors. Ryan was now confident that doors were opening for him. He moved behind Kay and started rubbing lotion into her feet and calves, lifting her lower legs and bending them at the knees as he had before. This time, as he placed her calves back down against the table, he pushed them each apart slightly, so that her legs now trailed back in a v-shape and not the perfect parallel lines with which she had started the massage.

With the patience of a practiced master, he massaged her lower thighs and paid a brief respect to the boundary of the towel’s edge. Then he peeled back the towel, not from the bottom, but from the top, so that only her ass was covered. He heavily lotioned his left hand, and used this to rub broad circles on her back. High right hand positioned itself at the very top of Kay’s thighs and remained motionless as he allowed her breathing to become deep and regular. Then, with his left hand still in motion, his right hand moved under the towel and towards my wife’s pussy.

With a gentle moan she betrayed me. Ryan’s right hand was under the towel, and he was feeling the warmth of the moistening treasure which would now be his. Kay pushed her legs apart slightly to receive his advances. He leaned down to place his kiss against the top of her cheek. She turned her neck to receive his mouth with her own. Their lips barely touched. She turned her body and leaned up on her elbow, and they connected again, this time letting the kiss linger as their tongues explored each other and inhibitions dissolved.

Kay positioned herself in a sitting position on the edge of the table and Ryan lifted his shirt off his body. He revealed his smooth, chiseled chest and Kay buried her head in his masculine upper body. Then she arched her spine and threw her head back, inviting Ryan’s mouth to move hungrily towards her neck. Kay’s neck is an intense source of sexual stimulation for her, and Ryan discovered this as Kay moaned and relaxed her body in surrender.

He guided her back so that it was again flat on the table. Her legs were bent at the knees and opened in whorish anticipation of what was to come next. He stepped himself quickly out of his workout pants and stood naked with his erection growing before her eyes. He placed his hand back between her legs and moved his cock close enough to Kay’s face that she could, with a an awkward and hungry stretch, put her mouth on its head. His cock was magnificent, being hard and thick with the well-trimmed tuft of strawberry blonde hair at its base a stark contrast to my own.

Separated by only one sheetrock wall, my eyes were affixed to the monitors. Suzanne climbed off of her chair and knelt behind me, pressing her body against mine and resting her head on my shoulder. I felt her breath on my neck as she reached around to put her hand on my own rock hard cock. “She’s not going to have much use for this, is she?”

I shook my head.

“But as she grows from being Ryan’s lover to being his pet… our pet, she’s going to know that same sweet feeling of submission that you do, Jay. And she’s going to have you to thank for it. She’ll love you even more for knowing that you delivered her into our arms.”

My attention shifted suddenly away from Suzanne and back to the monitors. Kay was lustfully sucking at Ryan’s cock. Ryan kept himself carefully positioned so that the cameras provided a profile view of Kay taking him deep into her throat while he held her firmly by the back of her head. She seemed very much like she was trying to impress him.

After having had enough of her oral pleasures, he pushed back her head so that his cock slipped out of her mouth. She tried to lunge forward to continue the worshipful attention, but he held her head back and then pushed it further back so that it went down and rested on the table. He then lifted her left leg and swung it high up onto his shoulder, while grabbing her right ankle in his hand. He leaned forward, resting the length of his shaft against but not inside of her pussy. He kissed her forehead. Then he put her upper lip between his teeth… slightly biting and tugging. Her hands were wrapped around the back of his neck.

Then, with a look of purpose and resolve, Ryan stared directly into the camera above Kay’s head and in so doing, directly into my eyes and right through the darkest part of my soul. Kay’s head was thrown back and her eyes closed. Her breasts were thrust high and her back arched in anticipation. Ryan grabbed the base of his cock with his right hand and rested it on the precipice of Kay’s soaked pussy lips. It seemed that in a moment he would seal her own private spiral into submission with a thrust of his hips.

The thrust did not come. He could wait while she could not. Instead, Ryan’s cock remained motionless as Kay’s own body rose and pushed towards him to engulf his cock. Her mouth opened into a circle, her upper lip quivered, and her hips slouched forward to surround Ryan in an instant. Time stood still and she felt the pulse of another man’s heart inside of her body.

Fifth Installment

2008-02-02T15:55:00.000-08:00

Emily Addison did not publish my letter to Around Her Finger. She did publish one that barely touched on cuckolding, and her answer left me wondering how she really feels about the practice.

Fifth installment follows:

---

I came home from work that night a little early, but Kay was nowhere to be seen. There was a note asking me to put a frozen gourmet pizza into the oven. About the time the pizza was finished Kay came walking in the door with an armful of shopping bags.

“Hey, honey,” I greeted her. “How was your day?”

“Great,” she said and kissed me on the cheek.

“So I think you were having your personal trainer session today? How did that go?”
“It went good,” she said, not elaborating much.

“What was this guy like? Did he work you hard?”

“He was sort of the typical trainer. Pretty good shape, young… kind of cute, didn’t push me too hard, not really.”

“Ok, that’s good… I guess. What you got in the bags? Did you do a little shopping today?”

“Oh, just some workout clothes. Most of what I have is getting sort of old.”

She carried the bags into the bedroom with her and brought them directly to the closet. It was only later that evening, when she went back out to run an errand, that I was able to peek inside the bags and see what she had bought. Her new clothes were decidedly less conservative than her old. Three of the new outfits looked more like a bathing suit than a workout suit. They were very tight, spandex short-shorts each with a small matching top. One was red, one black, and the other a sort of khaki with dark brown trim. She also had a new full length outfit, and a looser fitting warm-up suit. I put the bags back and went into the living room to watch television. She returned from her errand, but I said nothing about her new clothes.

That night, Kay fucked my brains out.

***

I arrived at Suzanne and Ryan’s house again the next week, parking the car in the garage and coming into Suzanne’s chambers to take my place in front of the monitors. The headphones were put on my ears and I was shackled as I had been the prior week. Suzanne, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, pulled up a chair beside me and teasingly played with my hair as we watched together.

When Kay walked into the view of the cameras she was wearing one of the new outfits she had just purchased. She looked amazing, and Ryan complimented her on her appearance. Kay let out that the outfit was new, and I was sure that Ryan took this as an indication of her attraction to him. I admit that he was probably right.

“Do you think your wife has ever had a pussy in her mouth?” asked Suzanne.

“No,” I answered quite certain that I was correct.

“I’d love to get her between my legs,” she said casually, as if talking to herself.

Early in the workout, Ryan had Kay lying on her back on a bench that Ryan had placed in the view of the camera focused on the universal machine. He stood straddling her above the bench as she lifted weights to do repetitions of butterflies one after the other. It was such a position of dominance that he took over her that I was certain it was done as much for my benefit as for his own efforts at seduction. Kay lay beneath him, her chest heaving with the effort and her legs slightly parted on either side of the bench. He touched her shoulder to gently spot her.

“Good job,” I heard him remark. “You’re going to become my best client.” Kay laughed.

When the workout was over, Ryan asked what she wanted to do about the massage.

“Well, maybe I could shower first. I have clothes to change into afterwards,” she said pointing to her bag.

“Perfect,” said Ryan. “The bathroom is right down that hallway. There’s towels in there, just wrap yourself up and come back to the table.”

I could see Kay and Ryan both leaving the room on the cameras. Kay must have gone into the bathroom because I could hear the shower turn on, but Ryan came into Suzanne’s chambers with a wild grin on his face. “Fuck,” he exclaimed, “did you see what she was wearing?” He walked over to me and began unshackling my wrists and legs. Then he stood in front of me and pulled down his pants to reveal the cock with which I had become so familiar. “I don’t have time for a blowjob from you, but why don’t you just kiss the tip to remind you who the real man is around here.” I put my lips on the head of his cock and he put his hand on the top of my head. Suzanne leaned over my back and kissed him. “There you go, cuck… now get up. I want you to go into the room and light these candles and flip on the CD player.”

I hadn’t noticed, but Suzanne was holding several small votive candles and a book of matches. She handed these to me, and I scurried, naked and nervous, out of the chamber and into the workout room. Brad followed behind me and hit the lights, making the flame from the match in my shaking hands the only light in the room. I lit the three candles, and as I was setting down the third, I heard the water stop running in the shower. I started scurrying out of the room, but Ryan stopped me and pointed silently to the CD player. I turned it on, but there was no CD. At this point I was so nervous I thought my heart would beat right out of my chest. Ryan walked over and slowly selected a CD. “Put it in,” he whispered in my ear. I did, and hit the button. It was a mellow new age CD that he had selected. “Now, go,” he whispered into my ear. I tiptoed quickly out of the room and returned to Suzanne awaiting me in her chambers only seconds before I heard the bathroom door open.

I watched from the monitors as Kay stepped back into the workout room her hair wet and wearing only a towel. “Make yourself comfortable,” said Ryan. “I’ll be right back.” He stepped out and closed the door. Kay let the towel drop, revealing her perfect, naked body as she mounted the massage table. Once she was lying down, she covered herself with her towel brought her arms up to her side to wait on Ryan.

Ryan walked into the room and positioned himself at the head of the massage table. He cradled Kay’s head in his hands and placed it face down into the round “head stirrup” of the sort built into most professional tables. His fingers massaged her scalp for at least five minutes. Then he moved himself to the back of the table, and began to rub lotion into Kay’s right food, lifting her foot as and bending up the lower part of her leg at the knee. This uncovered the top of her calf from the towel, and he worked his hands up to rub this as well.

Suzanne had again taken her seat next to me so that we were both there watching together on the monitors. She put her arm around my shoulders and pulled my head to wrest lovingly on the soft denim of her lap. She played with my hair like Ryan had played with Kay’s. “Wouldn’t it be great,” she whispered, “If we could own her the way we own you? I know Ryan would love to fuck her, but I’d love to have her eating my pussy. I’d love to have you both eating my pussy.”

I said nothing, but continued to watch the monitors. Ryan had now moved to the other calf, and was working it with the same attention that he did the first. Then he lowered her foot back to the table and pushed up the towel covering that same leg. He pushed it up about as far as he could without making it completely obvious that he wanted to touch more than just her thigh. While it was hard to tell on the monitors, I’m sure that he could see the edges of her untrimmed bush. She didn’t flinch. He traced his fingers along the valley between her ass and thigh and seemed to look to the camera to smile as he did so.

Next, instead of moving to the other leg to do the same, he went to her arm, then her other arm, before working his way around to repeat the upper leg massage on the opposite side. Suzanne noticed how hard my cock became when Ryan’s fingers moved into such close proximity to Kay’s pussy, and she reached down to acknowledge it with a firm grasp of her own dainty hands. “Looks like it’s quite a turn-on for you to see your wife seduced like this,” she said smiling. “Ryan is such a wonderful lover, she’ll be lucky when she finally surrenders to him.”

Ryan next moved to her shoulders, folding the towel back only inches and spending at least five minutes on just the top of her back and neck. He then pushed the towel all the way down her body, revealing a full inch of the top of her ass crack. The profiles of her bare breasts were completely visible to him. He generously covered his own hands with lotion and rubbed long, strong strokes which began under the towel and pulled all the way up the length of her spine. In bending over her body, his crotch rested against the top of her head. I could not help but wonder if he was hard or not.

I admit that I was shocked. I was shocked that she was so brazen in her willingness to let him massage her nude and barely covered body. But my real shock was reserved for my own reaction. I felt more and more turned on by the idea of Ryan fucking Kay. I wanted to be cuckolded on some primal level that went against everything I held dear. I felt as though I was spinning, spinning helplessly out of control.

At the end of this second massage, Ryan covered Kay with the towel and asked her how it felt. She lifted her head as if out of a deep sleep, running her hands through her long sexy hair and said nothing but the word ‘amazing’. Ryan stood in front of the table and I was almost certain that Kay, now up and resting on her elbows, was revealing her exposed nipples to him. It was hard to tell from the monitors.

“Why don’t you get dressed and we’ll have some coffee?” asked Ryan.

“Sounds great,” answered Kay. And with that Ryan left and Kay, once dressed, soon followed. They went into the kitchen and drank coffee and talked for an hour.

Suzanne remained in the chambers with me, passing time by having me rub her feet, go down on her, and when the urge hit her, give me another fucking with the strap-on. Shortly afterwards, I heard Kay leaving through the front door and her car pull out the driveway.

Ryan walked in as Suzanne had finished having her way with me. “Well, at least there was one good fucking going on in the house,” said Ryan. “But I’ll tell you what, Jay-boy, I’m more confident than ever that I’m going to poke that wife of yours. She’s a sweetheart. She’s more than just a tight ass and a warm pussy, she’s really a sweetheart. It’s going to be extra special making her my little bitch.”

I cleaned myself up, got dressed and headed out the door for work. When I got home that night Kay was lying on the couch watching TV, dinner was nowhere in sight. “Hey, honey,” I said. “How was your day?”

“Oh, pretty good, she answered. I didn’t make any dinner, I figured we could just go out.”

“Sure thing,” I said.

That night we went to dinner, and when we got home, she fucked my brains out, just as she had after her last personal training session. This time, however, I noticed that something had changed. For the first time since I had met, never mind married my wife, she had trimmed her pussy. Although I had encouraged her to trim and even shave her pussy in the past, she had never done it. She insisted it would make her itch. Now, her pussy was reduced down to a small, neatly trimmed patch, the remaining area having apparently been waxed.

“What’s the deal with this,” I said, rubbing my hand against her pussy.

“You like it?” she asked.

“I LOVE it,” I said. “What inspired you?”

“Just a wild, random thought. I’m glad you like it.”

I did love it, but I knew that it was Ryan’s massage that had moved her to the decision. Random images of Ryan’s hands moving ever so close to Kay’s pussy occupied my mind. Even after fucking Kay, my cock was soon hard with these thoughts which chased me into my dreams and remained there for the rest of the week.

***

The next week’s workout, now the third, went much as it did the week before, except it was clear that Kay was becoming more comfortable with Ryan. The two laughed and joked more, and the chemistry between them was very obvious. When Kay retreated to the shower to get ready for the massage, Ryan rushed in to again grab me to go light the candles and ready the music. This time I was comfortably back in Suzanne’s chambers, kneeling before the monitors with her in the seat next to me, before the water even stopped running.

Again I was feeling the intense emotional confusion of jealousy and submissive lust as Ryan’s hands wandered – and lingered – so close to Kay’s pussy. She lay motionless but seemingly pleased with the way he delicately teased her with his fingers. “Imagine,” whispered Suzanne, “when you can finally taste her pussy on his cock.” I cradled my head in her lap to acknowledge my submission and to let her know, silently, that she was right. I felt the familiar stroke of her fingers in my hair and knew that she sensed my surrender.

The massage ended without event, and the two of them retreated to the kitchen for another chat over coffee. After Kay had left, Ryan returned to Suzanne’s chambers enthusiastic and upbeat. “Man, it’s happening. It is really happening! She asked me if I had a girlfriend. I asked her about her marriage. She said it was – and these are her words - ‘ok, but dull’. She said you cared a hell of a lot more about work than you did spending time with her. She is definitely giving me the buy signs.”

I bowed my head in abject surrender. He was right; his plan to seduce my wife was working.

“I’m going to need your help this week… ok, cucky-boy? I want you to be distant, and cold, and ignore her all week… and don’t you dare fuck her. Got it? The next cock in her pussy is going to be mine. Now get dressed and get out of here. We’ll see you next week, same time.”

I left and went to work. When I got home that night, I didn’t really have to try to be stand-offish with Kay, she led by example. We hardly said a word to each other that night or all week for that matter. This beautiful woman that I loved dearly was so enamored by Ryan, that she wanted nothing to do with me. This wasn’t turning me on, however, the way watching the monitors did, this was causing me a deep emotional pain devoid of any sexual feelings that made me want to crawl up in a ball and hide in a corner.

Midway through the week, I got a text from Suzanne asking me to call her. I hollered to Kay that I was going out to the grocery store and to ask if she needed anything. “Nope” was her one word reply. I got in my car and pulled out of the driveway. I dialed Suzanne’s number and respectfully greeted her when she answered.

“Hello, Jay. How are you?”

“I’m fine, Ma’am.”

“Jay, I know this is a tough week. I’m calling to check on you. I know how your submission to Ryan and me has filled a void in you. You wanted to feel completely owned and controlled, and now you do. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“And when Ryan starts fucking Kay, it’s going to take it to a whole new level. I promise. You are going to love it. It may be painful at first, but you will grow into your new role as our cuckold. You will love it. Now hold the line, I want you to talk to Ryan.”

She handed the phone to Ryan as his voice was the next thing that I heard. “Hello, Jay-boy. How are you getting along with Kay this week? You’re keeping your cock out of that pussy aren’t you?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“And you’ve been cold… distant?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good. She’s not on the rag or anything like that, is she?”

“No, I’m sure that she is not. You’ve got at least a couple weeks before you have to worry about that.”

“Great. Well in that case, I think I’m ready to fuck her. This has been a lot easier than I thought it would, but I think she wants me. What do you think?”

“I agree, Sir.”

“I guess she’s more of a slut than we figured.”

“If you say so, Sir.”

“That’s what I say, cuck. Now understand that the first couple times that I fuck her, it will be pretty old school. I mean, it will be better than anything she’s gotten at home, but don’t expect to be in the room watching with her tongue up Suzanne’s ass. It will be pretty vanilla sex. But don’t worry, we’ll work her up after a few weeks. We’ll make a real whore out of her. I guarantee it.”

With that he hung up the phone. We wouldn’t talk again until I showed up the morning of Kay’s appointment.

(more soon)

Fourth Installment

2008-01-25T12:21:00.000-08:00

Note: Fiction more interesting than fact as of late. I'll get back to my everyday life when it perks up just a bit. There's still plenty of everyday life to be had on www.aroundherfinger.com and Elise Sutton. I just sent Around Her Finger a very vanilla letter... I hope it posts!

Here's the fouth installment:

“Yes, I understand.”

There were two weeks before my wife Kay’s birthday. In those two week, Ryan approached me and asked me to give him an addition $3,500 to help pay for the gym equipment. “I will be training your wife in here,” he pointed out, “It only makes sense that you help pay for the equipment.”

In addition to giving him the money, I also helped getting the room ready. This included painting, setting up some a universal machine, and finally, installing a set of very small, indictable cameras in different locations in the room. The cameras created a very high quality image, and there was also a microphone which picked up every word spoken with ease. He had me set the monitors up in Suzanne’s pro dom chambers. There were four monitors capturing four different views, all stored in a locked armoire. There were also two sets of high quality headphone to listen in on the audio. While I had a lot of preconceived notions about what they might be planning, I obeyed Suzanne’s request to say nothing more about the training sessions.

When Kay’s birthday arrived, I was ready with several of my own gifts as well as the personal training gift certificates that Suzanne and Ryan had given me. She loved all her presents, including the gift certificates. I told her, as I had previously conspired with Ryan, that I did not know Ryan, but that he came highly recommended from a coworker that Kay did not know. There was a number on the gift certificate that she was to call to set up her first session.

It was about a week later; I arrived at Suzanne and Ryan’s home for my weekly appointment and was engaged in some housecleaning, kneeling to scrub the toilet in their master bedroom, when Ryan walked in on me. “Your wife called to set up her first session. She’ll be here at 8:00 next Monday, exactly one week from now. I’ll need you here at 7:00. Make sure you park your car in the garage; it will be left empty for you. Then shut the garage door and come inside. Got it?”

“Yes, Sir.” In truth, it hadn’t occurred to me that I would be expected to be here when she came for her sessions. My suspicions continued to linger, and did so all week until the morning of the appointment.

I arrived, as ordered, at 7:00. Ryan greeted me at the door wearing very stylish and flattering workout clothes, and instructed me to go into Suzanne’s chambers and undress. Ryan then positioned me on my knees in front of the monitors, and put a pair of headphones over my ears. He switched on the monitors giving me four different views of the workout room, and clicked on the audio. It was set at such a level that I could easily hear what was said both in the workout room and in the chambers as well. He then secured my legs to a stretcher bar and my hands behind my back, making me completely immobile.

Here I sat for about fifteen minutes staring at the motionless monitors. There was one focused on the universal machine, two on a massage table set in a back corner, and finally, one which was a panorama shot of the entire room. It was on this monitor that I first saw Ryan and a brunette woman appear. The woman was completely naked, and Ryan escorted her to the universal machine. She sat in the machine’s seat, and he knelt in front of her. She lifted her legs over his shoulders and he went down on her until she started to shake with her first orgasm. Then he moved her to the massage table where he laid her down and pulled off his workout clothes.

One of the massage table cameras was aimed at the head of the table and gave a close-up of the woman’s head. From this camera I could see that the woman was actually Suzanne wearing a wig. Ryan pounded her with his large cock as she arched her back and dug her fingernails into his shoulders. Suzanne, knowing where the cameras where hidden, looked directly into the one and smiled a wicked grin. “Oh, Ryan,” she said, “You fuck me so much better than my husband. I want to be your slut, your whore.” Ryan pulled his cock out of her and looked up at the camera as well. “Ryan, you haven’t cum yet,” protested Suzanne.

“No, Kay,” laughed Ryan, looking at the camera. “I want to save it for later.”

The two of them dismounted the massage table and disappeared from my monitors. Seconds later they opened the door to the chambers where I remained locked up in front of the screens. Ryan was stepping back into his workout clothes, but Suzanne remained naked and smelled of sex. “So did you like our little show? Could you see ok?” asked Suzanne.

“Yes,” I answered. “I could see and hear fine.”

“It turns you on doesn’t it?” questioned Suzanne, “the thought of Ryan fucking your wife?”

I did not answer.

“We’ll see,” said Ryan. “Not every woman can be seduced, but most can. I would say that the odds are pretty good that I’ll make your little Kay my little whore before it’s all over.”

“Don’t worry,” admonished Suzanne, leaning down to put her mouth close to my ear. I felt her as much as I heard her. “You’re such a good pussy licker, I’m sure she’ll keep you around. She’ll be Ryan’s little fuck pet, but you’ll be her little cuckold husband. Licking her pussy, getting her ready for Ryan’s cock.” She positioned her waist in front of me and pushed her closely trimmed crotch into my face. “But that will be fine with you because you love licking pussy, don’t you?” I stuck my tongue out, stretching it to the point where it hurt so that it could come in contact with the lips of her pussy, still swollen from Ryan’s fucking.

“And think how good her pussy will taste when it’s full of Ryan’s hot cum. You can be her little clean-up boy.” She pushed herself closer to me and my tongue darted straight for her clit. “Ahhh, you are a good pussy licker.”

We were interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. Suzanne leaned back down close to my ear. “That must be Ryan’s little fuck pet at the door now,” she said. I heard Ryan’s footsteps and then the front door opening. This was the first time he and Kay would ever see each other. I heard muffled greetings and then the two of them walking past the closed door of Suzanne’s chambers and back to Ryan’s workout room. I watched them appear in the monitors and could hear their small talk clearly in my headphones.

On the one hand, it was impossible for me to deny that the idea of Ryan fucking Kay, and in the process cuckolding me, was hugely exciting. But not only was I sure that I would not want to my fantasy to become reality, I was also sure that it would never happen. Kay is an extremely conservative woman. I had tried to bring up my interest in female domination to her over the years, but she always shrugged it off as kinky and not her style. She was also a tremendously loyal woman and not particularly sexual, so I couldn’t imagine her giving into lust and allowing an affair with even an attractive man like Ryan. But even an affair would be one thing, an affair with my knowledge that constituted cuckolding could never happen. Not in a million years. For this reason I watched the personal training session with a sense of security that I know Suzanne and Ryan thought was naive.

Suzanne was dressed in a long-sleeve, full-length pants, tight-fitting workout outfit. She wore loose fitting soccer shorts over this outfit, making it sexy but modest at the same time. Her long, dark hair was pulled back in a pony tail. She was in great shape already, so these workouts really represented an opportunity to fine tune an already great body versus fix real problem areas.

I did notice that Ryan and Kay were really hitting it off. He was incredibly charming in addition to being very good looking, and Kay was clearly smitten. However, being attracted to someone was a long way from being seduced by them, so I remain unphased by the witty dialogue from Ryan and constant smiles from my wife.

Ryan seemed to be positioning Kay in exercises geared at maximizing my visual interest as much as her physical fitness. He had her do sit-ups where he stood lightly on her feet while she bent her back up halfway to his waist repeatedly and in sets of twenty at a time. Then he put her on the universal machine where she was made to push the bars together in front of her chest in a way that emphasized her cleavage. Then he had her positioned on the floor, on all fours, lifting and extending her leg behind her as he stood watching and coaching her with a perfect view to her posterior.

As I was watching all of this, Suzanne had moved away from me. I was startled when she came up behind me and, kneeling, placed her warm mouth on my neck. Then the cold sensation of her strap-on, generously covered in lube, pushed against the tight circle of my asshole, slipping slowly inside. “Your wife is very pretty,” she said. “What do you think she would say if she could see me fucking you now? “

“I don’t think it would go very well,” I whispered.

Unexpectedly, Ryan moved Kay from a free weight routine and onto the stair machine and told her he would be right back. I watched on the monitors as he stepped towards the door and out of the room. Kay was dutifully following through on Ryan’s instructions when he walked in on Suzanne and me. He leaned down and kissed Suzanne as she continued to fuck me with her strap-on. He squatted down to put his face level with mine and smiled at me. “You’ve got a hot wife, Jay-boy. I think I’d like to fuck her. I think she’d like to fuck me too, what do you think?”

“I don’t know,” I mumbled back.

“We’ll work on it together. It will take some time.” He rubbed my head as if I was his dog. “But right now, she’s got me so hot… and since I can’t fuck her….” He stood up and pushed down his workout pants, revealing his hardening cock. I opened my jaw and he began fucking my mouth in the same rhythm as Suzanne was fucking my ass. I imagined that it was the same rhythm that Kay marched to on the stair machine. Ryan finally exploded in my mouth. “Good boy,” he said. I cleaned him off completely as I had been trained to do. He pulled his pants back up and walked out of the room. Suzanne pulled her silicon cock out of my ass and left me to watch Ryan walk in on Kay.

“All right, you’re a hard worker,” I heard Ryan say through the headphones. Kay smiled back. “Let’s get you off the machine.”

“You pushed me pretty hard,” said Kay.

“Oh, you have no idea how far we’ll go; we’re just getting started. “ Ryan flashed a huge smile and Kay beamed. “We’re done with our workout, but I like to end all my sessions with a massage. It gives me a chance to work the lactic acid out of your muscles.”

“Oh,” said Kay, looking surprised. “But I’m all sweaty?”

“We can do this a few ways,” answered Ryan as he started laying towels out on the table. “You can hop up here right now, with all your clothes on, and I can give you the rub down through your clothes… I really could care less if you are sweaty or not. Or, you can take your clothes off and cover yourself up with the towels. I’m a certified professional, and I promise to be very respectful.”

“You may not care that I’m all sweaty, but I do,” said Kay. “Can I just take a rain check on the massage?”

“This time, I’ll allow it. Next time, you can bring a change of clothes and shower between the workout and the massage.”

“Deal,” said Kay. With that Kay gathered her bag, threw her towel over her neck and walked out of the room ahead of Ryan. I heard them say a pleasant goodbye and then the front door shut behind her. Ryan was walking back into the room with Suzanne and me as I listened to Kay’s car pulling out of the driveway.

“That was amazing,” exclaimed Ryan. “I’m training your wife as Suzanne is fucking your ass and you’re sucking my cock in the room right next door. I love it!” Still kneeling in front of the monitors, I bowed my head in exquisite shame. “This is going to take some time, and I’ll need your cooperation before it’s all over, but I really think this is going to work out. What do you think, Jay?”

“I don’t know, Sir.”

“Wrong answer, Jay.” There was a pause as he stepped over to the wall and pulled a leather paddle down. Some of Suzanne’s customers were true pain fans, and while I was not, the threat of corporal punishment was always made real by the presence of all the toys in the room. SMACK! The paddle hit my ass with what seemed to be the full force of Jay’s frustration with me. “I need you committed to the success of this project, Jay. I need you completely onboard!”

“Sorry, Sir. Yes, I think this will work out.”

“So let me hear you say it. Let me hear you say that you want to see me fucking your wife, that you want to become Kay’s cuckold.”

“Yes, Sir. I very much want to see you fuck Kay. I want to be cuckolded.”

“What else?” asked Suzanne.

“I want to suck Ryan’s cum out of my wife’s pussy. I’ll do everything I can to make that happen.”

“Good boy, Jay.” Ryan again patted my hair like a pet. “Now get dressed and get the fuck out of here.”

Third Installment

2008-01-20T11:32:00.000-08:00

“In case you doubted anything that I’ve said,” explained Suzanne, “I’ve made copies of everything that we have. It’s all in this envelope.”

“I don’t doubt you,” I answered. “I’m grateful for what you have done. It is difficult for me, but I enjoy it.”

“Take the envelope just the same,” she said. “Did you finish the laundry?”

“Yes, ma’am. It’s all folded and laid out on your bed. You told me you didn’t want me putting it away.”

“Good boy. Finish cleaning this bathroom and meet me in my chambers. We’ll spend some time together.” I didn’t rush, but took my time to do a good job. When I was done, I cleaned myself up and met her in the chambers as has become our custom after my morning appointments. I stripped my clothes off and waited for her on my knees. She entered the room and took a seat on the throne chair in front of me. She handed me a tube of lotion and extended her foot. I began rubbing the lotion on her feet.

“Jay, I am so pleased that you like being my pet… that you like what I’ve done to you. It never would have happened if I didn’t force it. You know that don’t you?”

“Yes,” I answered. She was right.

“I think we can take your submission to a new level, add a whole new dimension to it. Would you like that?”

“It depends what you mean,” I said, still rubbing her feet.

“Will you trust me, Jay?”

“I’m scared….”

“Of course you are, Jay. You are terrified, but everything I do for you is for your own good.” She opened up her legs and revealed her beautiful pussy. “Come taste my pussy, Jay. There’s none of Ryan’s cum to get in the way, just my pussy… all for you.” I leaned in and tasted the divine musk of her body. She let me pleasure her for about fifteen minutes, cumming in fits before pulling my head away from her.

“Jay, does Kay have a birthday coming up? Or when is your anniversary? When’s the next occasion that you need to give her a gift?”

“Her birthday is in two weeks.”

“Perfect. Before you leave I have something for you to give her.”

“Yes. It’s our gift back to you for everything you have done. It is a gift certificate for twelve sessions with Ryan as her personal trainer.”

“But are you going to tell her anything? Why do you want….”

“Jay,” she pulled me back to her crotch. “Trust me, this is all for your own good.” I lost myself in her taste and smell. She leaned back in the chair, making her pussy and asshole both available to my mouth. I devoured her intimate region with a mindless devotion that made my head spin helplessly into subspace. I felt her finger brushing the back of my hair. “You love my pussy, don’t you, Jay?”

“Yes, yes I do.”

“Then say nothing more about the gift certificates. Give them to your wife, and let Ryan take it from there. We are putting a gym into what’s now an unused bedroom. She will come here for her training sessions, but this room will be locked up. She’ll never know about this room and what her husband does to my pussy in here. Ok?”

Spinning: Installment 2

2008-01-08T07:37:00.000-08:00

I went back to my office that afternoon, and interacted with everyone as if I had just run a couple of errands at lunch. Who could possibly suspect that I had paid a woman to lick her asshole, to let her fuck me, to make me clean her kitchen? I was the big man in the office. Everyone looked up to me at work, yet all I could think of was how good it felt surrendering to Suzanne. She definitely knew what made me tick.

I went home that night and kissed Kay. While I hadn’t sucked another man’s cock, I had licked Suzanne’s asshole, and this thought occurred to me as Kay’s lips touched my own. Kay was beautiful. She was older than Suzanne, but she looked just as young. She was tall and thin with long, dark hair, smallish breasts, but with perfect curves at her waist. Her profile showed delicate features and the line of her neck was tight and elegant. Why did I need to run around on her with a woman that humiliated me, that brought me down to the status of her pet, her possession?

That night as I lay in bed next to Kay, she rolled over and kissed my neck. This was her sign that she wanted attention. “Not tonight, Sweetheart. I have to get up early.” I rolled over to mask my erection and spent hours trying to fall asleep. When the alarm clock finally rang at 5:45, I felt as if I had just dozed off moments ago. I got up, showered, and headed out the door to run my appointed errant.

There was no light around Suzanne’s house. I parked the car in the back of her driveway and stepped out to the back door with my key. I opened the door, went inside, and found the coffee already made as promised. I was pulling together the cream and sugar when I heard noises coming from the bedroom. I placed everything on a large tray that had been set out for me, and carried it with me as I tiptoed back towards their room so as not to be heard. The door was open and from the dim light that filtered in from the approaching dawn, I could see Suzanne on her hands and knees on the bed, Ryan fucking her hard and fast from behind. He was leaning forward with his mouth on the back of her neck. She turned her head and saw me, flashing me a wicked smile that let me know I was intended to see this.

I stood silent and still in the doorway, holding the tray like a Victorian butler. Ryan pulled himself straight, clenched his fists at either side of his waist, and let out a huge cry as he filled Suzanne with his seed. I was fully dressed, in slacks a dress shirt and a tie, but I could feel my cock throbbing between my legs.

Suzanne grabbed two pillows and positioned them below her stomach. Ryan remained inside of his lover. “Put the tray down, Jay. Come over here.” She let herself fall down against the pillows below her. “What do you want to do first? Do you want to clean Ryan’s cock, or do you want to suck Ryan’s cum out of my pussy?” I stood silent as my mouth dropped in shock. Was she serious?

“I think he better clean my cock first,” said Ryan. “I have to get to work.”

“I want out, I said. “I think this has gone too far. I don’t think I can do this.” They looked at each other and laughed.

“Jay,” said Suzanne, “does the number 555-305-1212 meaning anything to you?”

“Uh, yes, where did you get that number? It was Kay’s cell phone number.

“Ryan got it off your Blackberry while you were… I don’t know… sucking my asshole, or getting fucked by me, or telling me you loved my pussy more than your wife’s.”

“You wouldn’t….”

“Shut the fuck up and suck my boyfriend’s cock, Jay.”

I went to the bed. Jay stood up on the bed which put his cock at about the height of my mouth. I leaned in, allowing Ryan to stick the cum-covered head of his cock inside of my mouth. “This is what it feels like to really be controlled, Jay. Do you like it? What’s the matter, can’t talk with a full mouth? Jay, I really don’t care if you like it or not. I think deep down you are probably a cum-sucking whore, but it doesn’t matter to me. All that matters is that you obey me. When I tell you to do something, you do it.

Ryan’s cock was semi-hard inside of my mouth, and the truth was that I did enjoy it. I did not enjoy it for its own sake, but rather because I really did like being forced to do something beyond my limits. I was being blackmailed, but I was being controlled, and ultimately this is what I craved. I was thinking of this as the oddly bitter taste of Ryan’s cum and Suzanne’s juices filled my senses with this unique new experience.

“He’s cleaned me up pretty good, Suzanne. It’s your turn.” Ryan stepped away and jumped down off the bed. He stepped towards the bathroom without even looking back at me. This left me alone with Suzanne, here ass raised on the pillows and the swollen lips of her pussy leaking Ryan’s cum. I positioned myself behind her and made quick work of cleaning her up. I could hear the water in the shower turn on as Ryan was getting himself ready for work.

“Lay on your back,” commanded Suzanne. “Let’s let gravity help you out.” She mounted my face and nearly smothered me with her crotch. I lapped and licked hungrily at her pussy as Ryan’s cum drained into my mouth. “You know,” she said, “If you think that your wife’s phone number is all I’ve got to keep you honest, you’d be very wrong. Would you like to know what was happening while you were blindfolded in my chambers yesterday?” I couldn’t respond as my mouth was completely covered. She knew this, and her question was meant to mock me.

“Ryan made a photo copy of your drivers license, took a picture of your car in my driveway… oh and he hid something in your car. You’ll never find it, but we can always tell your wife where to find it. We also wrote down the phone numbers and emails of a bunch of folks in your Blackberry, including your boss, your parents, all sorts of folks. Best of all, remember when you were kissing my pussy yesterday and telling me how much more you loved it than your wife’s pussy… we got it all on video. We also got you telling me how you would lick my ass, suck another man’s cock, and then go home and kiss your wife. I bet Kay wouldn’t like that. What do you think?”

Again, I couldn’t speak. I heard the water in the shower shut off. She rolled off of my and lay back on the bed. “All day long you’ll smell like pussy and cum, just like a slut. Go get me my coffee. I walked over and brought the tray to the bed, kneeling and presenting it to her. She put in one spoon of sugar and poured just a tiny bit of cream into the cup. “This is how I like it. Next time bring it to me already made. Ryan likes two spoonfuls of sugar and no cream.” She fixed the second cup like Ryan likes it. “Go, bring this to him.”

I put the tray back on the floor and walked the cup into Ryan. He stood in front of the mirror in a pair of boxer briefs brushing his teeth. “Hey coffee bitch, what’s up?” I handed Ryan his coffee. “You like sucking my cock this morning?” I nodded. “Good boy,” he said, rubbing the top of my head with his hand. He stepped past me and out of the bathroom. He picked a workout outfit from his closet and put it on. Suzanne was lying back in the bed sipping her coffee.

“Kneel at the end of the bed,” commanded Suzanne. I obeyed and took my place. Ryan was leaning down and tying the laces on his sneakers. He stepped past me and kissed Suzanne goodbye before leaving. “He’s a personal trainer,” explained Suzanne surprising me that even considered my obvious curiosity a matter worth wasting words over.

“Jay, let me explain what will be expected from you. You will, beginning at the first of this month, bring me one thousand dollars. I really think that this is incredibly modest given your status in life.”

“But….” I started to talk.

“Shut up, Jay. I don’t want excuses; I don’t want to hear about difficulties. I control you. I will tell you what I expect, and you will figure out how to deliver. Second, I will need you about once or twice a week to come over here. I’ll pick one morning a week and try to keep that a regular appointment. I’ll give you different task to do… cooking, cleaning, whatever I need. If you are lucky, I’ll give you the sort of attention that I know a submissive slut like you needs. The sort of attention you got this morning. The other appointment every week will be to help out in my sessions. I can charge an extra $100 for forced-bi sessions, but I need a cock for my clients to put their mouths on… yours will do nicely. I’ll let you wear a hood so that your identity will be protected, but I will whore you out as part of your duties to me. Ok, that’s it. You can leave now.”

I stood up. “Suzanne, may I ask a question?”

“One question, yes.”

“Will this ever end?”

“I don’t know. Now go.”

I walked from her room, taking the tray with me. My mind was spinning with how I was going to adjust to this new element in my life. She was right about one thing; I did ask for this. Now that I had it, I wasn’t sure I could really handle it. I was being blackmailed, but it was such a rush, touching the parts of my brain that had craved stimulation my entire life. This was a permanent state of subspace.

I went to work that morning and could barely keep focused. Because I managed our finances, I knew I could handle the monthly tribute for at least a year before Kay would notice, but in the long run, it might become tricky. Also, I could probably handle the morning meetings as that was earlier than I typically started scheduling appointments. It would be the random service calls, to handle the forced-bi sessions that concerned me. Juggling these might become a nightmare. And what else might Suzanne and Ryan have in store for me? Time would tell, but it seemed like I was getting in deeper than I had ever dreamed possible.

(more to come soon)

As promised, a cuckold love story...

2007-12-30T05:53:00.000-08:00

Here begins a story that was written by one of my readers. There is much more to come. He calls the story "Spinning".

--------

Spinning, Installment 1

I was nervous as hell. At her request, I had taken off my clothes and set them in a small trunk next to the door. I was positioned in front of a throne-like chair, where I was blindfolded and made to kneel, my hands tied tightly behind my back and my feet locked into a stretcher bar. She had left the room for at least ten minutes while I knelt motionless and silent. She finally returned. I heard her footsteps and I could smell the light fragrance of her perfume.

“You didn’t think I’d abandoned you, did you?”

“No, Mistress,” was my curt reply.

“Don’t call me Mistress. My name is Suzanne, not ‘Mistress’. A simple yes or no will do.”

“Sorry.”

“As I said on the phone, I’m quite different than other professional dominants. Unlike these other women, I’m going to give you what you want. I am going to fulfill your need to be owned and controlled, not merely play at it in the context of a timed session. Your opportunity to back out of this arrangement ended when you walked in my door. While you agreed to this, I think you are yet to comprehend what it will mean to you.”

I felt her lift my arms behind my back. She appeared to secure them to a hook hanging from the ceiling. With my arms in this position I was completely helpless. They were lifted to the point that they were uncomfortable, but not painful. Nonetheless, this was an extremely vulnerable position and combined with the fact that I was still blindfolded, I felt very much a sense of physical helplessness that matched my mental state of submission.

“I’m going to read directly from your application,” she said. “If anything is not correct, I want you to point it out to me.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Ok, you are thirty-seven years old. You are married… what’s your wife’s name? I don’t want any secrets between us.”

“Kay, I said. “Her name is Katherine, but everyone calls her Kay.”

“You work as an executive for a big corporation… why so vague? What corporation do you work for and what do you do?”

“I work for Star Technology, I’m VP of sales for one of their divisions.”

“What division? What do you sell?”

“Networking,” I answered, hoping this was specific enough.

“What’s your boss’ name?”

“My boss’ name?” I asked. I felt a hard slap against my cheek.

“Don’t question me. I ask the questions. I’m in control.”

“Ray Minota… he’s the corporate senior vice president of sales and marketing.”

“Better,” said Suzanne. “Now let’s get past these silly little logistical questions and move to some more interesting subjects. When I asked you how long you’ve been submissive, you answered… well, let me just read what you put down?

I honestly think I was born a hard-wired submissive. Ever since I was a child, I have been aware of the fact that images of authoritative women in popular culture have excited me. Even before I reached adolescence I knew that this was true. When I did hit puberty, this awareness became wrapped up with my sexuality and has occupied more than its fair share of my sexual fantasies and even day to day thinking.

At first I didn’t understand my fascination, but then I discovered that there was a niche corner of the adult sex industry associated with it, and I began to explore it. I dabbled a bit in pornography and then experimented in my early twenties with a number of professional dominatrix’s. This is where I first experienced strap-on-training, golden showers, corporal punishment, bondage, and all the bread and butter activities that you see on websites all the time.

To be honest, my early experience with professional dominants left me unfulfilled. It was as if the activities themselves were not at all what I was seeking. What I really wanted was a sense of truly being controlled. I wanted to have an inescapable and overpowering sense of being made to do things by a powerful woman whether I wanted to or not. Unable to find this, I did my best to run away from my fascination with female authority altogether.”

Suzanne stopped reading. I couldn’t see her, but it sounded as if she was taking a sip of water. “What do you mean when you say you tried to run away from female authority?”

“I tried to quit cold turkey. I stopped looking at femdom websites, I tried to quit thinking about it, but there was even more. My attitude towards women became very disrespectful, it was a very bad time for me.”

“And what changed?” asked Suzanne, seeming genuinely curious.

“I gave up fighting. I accepted my submission as a part of who I am.”

“But your wife doesn’t know about it. Tell me about this.”
“I love my wife. I know it seems disingenuous to say that given that I’m coming to you, that I’m back to a paying a professional dominatrix again, but I do love her. It’s just that she’s a very conservative, vanilla woman. She would never go for this, she doesn’t understand it or even want to understand it.”

“But I thought you found professional dominants very ‘unfulfilling’. What makes you think this time will be different?”

“I don’t know. I saw your ad and just couldn’t resist calling you.”

“This time will be different, Jay. You don’t understand it yet, but this time will definitely be different. I promise you that you will feel controlled. You will obey me, and while you may not like it sometimes, I am the only thing that can satisfy you.”

I heard Suzann’s heels click on the floor. She stood from where she was sitting and stepped up to me. My eyes were blindfolded, but I could sense her standing directly in front of me. Her fingers touched the back of my head and pulled me into her waist. I could feel her trimmed pussy touching my face.

“Do you like being so close to my pussy, Jay?”

“Yes,” I moaned.

“Kiss it, Jay.”

I planted a very gentle kiss against the top of her shaved pubic hairs.

“That’s a sweet kiss, Jay, but I bet you want more. Would you like to lick my pussy, Jay?”

“Yes, Suzanne.”

“Do you want to lick it more than you want to lick your wonderful wife Kay’s pussy?”

“Yes, Suzanne.”

“Say it.”

“I want to lick your pussy more than Kay’s. I’ll do anything to taste your pussy, please Suzanne.”

“I don’t think you’ve earned the right to do that, Jay. What about my asshole, Jay? Maybe I can let you taste my asshole. Do you ever lick Kay’s asshole?”

“I don’t lick her asshole. I would love to lick yours.”

“Ok, just a taste. Stick out your tongue….”

I again felt her hand on the back of my head. She pulled my face into her ass, and my tongue searched out her puckered rosebud. I expected only a brief moment of contact, but she let me linger, and I explored as deeply into her flesh as I could, feeling arousal wrap me like a blanket as this humbling act touched deep psychological chords.

She pulled her ass away from me, and she apparently squatted down to put her face on level with mine. “Did you like the way my ass tasted, Jay?”

“Yes, thank you, Suzanne.”

“So you’d kiss my pussy and lick my ass… what else would you do for me? Would you suck a cock for me, Jay?”

“I don’t know….”

“Oh, Jay. I don’t like what I’m hearing. Let me ask you again. Would you suck a cock for me?”

“Yes, yes, Suzanne. I would suck a cock for you. I would do anything for you.”

“Would you let him cum in your mouth, Jay?”

“Yes, if you wanted it.”

“Better answer. What if I let you lick my asshole, then made you suck a cock, had him cum in your mouth, and then… here’s the fun part… made you go home and kiss Kay… without brushing your teeth or anything… if you had to go home and kiss Kay… with ass and cum on your breath. Would you do that, Jay?”

“Yes, I would do anything for you.”

“Jay, I think you might just be a fucking liar. But you know what… I’m going to make an honest man out of you. I’m going to give you a taste of what it really feels like to be controlled by a woman. Before I’m done with you, I really will own you. You have no idea what that means, but you will. You think you like the way it sounds. It scares you, but still you like it. I think you will eventually love it, but it will get worse before it gets better.”

“I do want you to control me. I feel it happening already.”

“You have no idea, Jay. Let’s get you unshackled, take your blindfold off and give you a good fucking to remember who the bitch is around here. Would you like that?”

“Yes, very much.”

I heard her unclick the hook that suspended my arms to the ceiling. She next unclasped my wrists. I first let them drop, but then lifted and rubbed each of them with my other hand. I felt her move around me and unhook my ankles from the stretcher bars. I remained blindfolded and on my knees and could sense her take a position in front of me. My cock was rock hard between my legs. I felt her hand grab my balls firmly, and I sensed her face very close to my own. She was very nearly kissing me, and I could taste the air between us. It was sweet with her breath.

“Of all the men that come to see me,” she began whispering in my ear, “You are special among them. I have chosen you. I play with them, I’m going to own you… really. I want you to think about that as I fuck you right now. Lie back like a good boy and open your legs.”

She lifted the blindfold off of my eyes. Her tongue traced the top of my lip and up along my cheek. She closed my eyes with her mouth. Her hair fell around me, and she gently lowered me onto my back, keeping my legs spread wide. With a light behind her, she glowed magnificently. She had a red corset, blond hair, and a black phallus strapped to her crotch. “This is a very small cock,” she told me. “You will learn to take larger, but I want this to be about pleasure, not pain.”

With this I felt her strap-on penetrate my ass. I arched my back and moaned as she worked up to a steady rhythm. She pushed my legs apart and leaned into me, her long hair falling on my chest. “Tell me, Jay, am I fulfilling you?”

“Yes, oh yes.”

“Are you beginning to get the idea that this is for real?”

“Yes, Suzanne. I really… oh, oh… I am.”

“You don’t know the half of it. You will have financial commitments to me, personal commitments, time commitments…. you will honor them, right Jay?” She pulled her cock from my ass and stood above me.

“Yes, anything for you, Suzanne.”

“Good boy. Now my kitchen is a fucking mess. Get in there and clean the dishes, clean the oven, and clean the floor on your knees.”

I stood and walked towards the door. I could feel the looseness in my well-fucked asshole. I clenched my ass tightly which must have made my walk look funny. “Suzanne, is it….”

“Open the door,” she said, “It’s down the hallway on the left. The cleaning supplies are under the sink.”

Naked and humbled, I walked into the kitchen. She wasn’t kidding; it was really a mess. I walked over to the sink to get started on the dishes. That’s when I first looked over into the living room and saw that I wasn’t alone. There was a man in there, wearing jeans and no t-shirt, watching ESPN on the television. He ignored me, so I just continued to go about my business. I filled one half of the sink with warm soapy water, making certain that the dirtiest dishes were being soaked while I started washing and rinsing what I could. I was placing items on the drying rack when Suzanne walked in. She was wearing a short, silk robe.

“What do you think of my new bitch?” she asked the man in the living room.

“Send him in.” With a nod of her head, Suzanne sent me off for inspection. I stood in front of this man, turned myself around to give him a better look, and then remained standing with my head bowed. This was more humiliating than anything that had happened between Suzanne and me in private. My cock hung smallish and limp between my legs.

“He needs to cut back on carbs, do some sit-ups, some push-ups and trim his pubes back a bit. That’s what I think.” He waived me away with my hand and I headed back to the kitchen.

“Did you get that?

“Yes, ma’am,” I responded.

“Good. Finish cleaning the kitchen. Make sure Ryan here approves of your work, then go grab your clothes – they are next to the door to my chamber – and get yourself dressed. There is a key on top of your clothes. You’ll need it to open the back door when you come here tomorrow morning at 6:30 a.m. Coffee will be made, it’s on a timer. Get two cups and bring it in to us in our bedroom on a try with cream and sugar. Ryan goes to work by 7:00, so don’t be late.”

“But I can’t, I have an appointment tomorrow and….”

“Jay… didn’t you just get done acknowledging that I own you… I control you. Don’t give me any fucking excuses. Be here by 6:30. Oh, and don’t dare fuck your wife between now and then. Don’t even touch your cock; I own it too.”

She turned and left, going into her bedroom. She was apparently getting dressed, as I saw her leave her room and head out the front door in jeans with her car keys in her hand. I spent an hour finishing up in the kitchen before I finally asked Ryan in to inspect it. “Kneel,” he commanded while he looked around. He was younger than me, and taller. He had thick blonde hair and a smooth, well-muscled chest. “I approve,” he said. “Get dressed and get out of here.”

I scurried back to the chambers and did as I was told. I put the key in my pocket and contemplated how I would get out of my appointment in the morning. I could do it this time, but how could I do this repeatedly. What had I gotten myself into? In the height of my mental submission, I had agreed to more than I really thought she would do. I thought it was just a game. I surrendered myself and she took complete advantage of the circumstances.

The Femdom Study Group

2007-12-18T22:05:00.000-08:00

I don't really know much about this, except that I was contacted by the gentleman below and asked to help him get the world out on his charter study. To me it looks like a very worthwhile project as first-hand research on submissive men is almost unheard of in the academic and even on-line world. Here, in part, is his email:

I am preparing to launch the FSG Charter Study. One of the Femdom Study Group's key objectives is to conduct primary research aimed at better understanding the nature, origins and habits of submissive men. A better understanding of these topics will afford both submissive men and the women who love them a greater context with which to nurture positive behavior and interpersonal relationships stemming from this phenomena. Although modest in scope and somewhat quasi-scientific in regard to sampling technique, this study has in fact been designed by an accredited survey professional. We expect that collecting the results will take several months. Aggregate level results will be published on our blog.

I would also like to ask that you mention the study on your website update to help us recruit respondents. They may participate in the study by sending an email request to me at femdomstudygroup (at gmail.com)

I encourage you all to contact them and give honest feedback in the survey. Here is a link to his blog:

http://femdomstudygroup.blogspot.com/2007/12/introducing-fsg-charter-study.html

Serializing a work of fiction

2007-12-14T10:49:00.000-08:00

I will be serializing the work of fiction I mentioned in an earlier post. It is well-written, intense and erotic. I will not serialize the entire story, but will stop at some point and offer the remainder for a modest fee. However, what is free will be of some high interest and value to most of you.

It is the story of a man that chosses to explore his submissive nature with a professional dominatrix. He finds his fantasies spinning out of control as the boyfriend of his dominatrix sets out to fulfill the man's cuckold fantasies by seducing his wife.

There are no new ideas, but there is capable prose, and I find it all very interesting. It will be some time before it is completed.

Stay tuned.

I have been letting you down

2007-11-17T11:34:00.000-08:00

I feel as though I have been letting all of you down. My blog, and my later project started off with such enthusiasm, but new posts and new progress have become so rare that they and I fade to obscurity. It is so much more difficult to maintain momentum than I ever anticipated.

I have made many associations through this site, and one just forwarded me the first of several chapters of a work of erotic fiction that he has just begun. Now let me say that I have received dozens of first starts at such work. Most if not all have disappointed me within the first paragraphs. His writing, however, is remarkable.

He has offered his work and himself at my service, but I am as yet undecided about how we should proceed. Although I know it disappoints many, I would somehow like for he and I to profit from it. Unfortunately, I do now know how to go about this. Anyone that has any ideas, please let me know. I am afraid that this blog was just too much to maintain without somehow having a modest financial incentive as motive to continue.

Hopefully the archives offer something to newcomers.

It happened again last night

2007-05-17T22:47:00.000-07:00

My husband and I have been courting a gentleman for months now. We met him at a restaurant located on a lake not so near our home that we might have expected to run into friends.

It was just drinks at first. This evolved into a friendship between "Johnathon" and my husband. It was obvious from very early on that we had more than a casual interest in Johnathon, but it was months before we opened up completely about the very special nature of my relationship with my husband.

Last night was emotional poetry. My husband slept on the floor at the side of the bed while I lay wrapped in my lover's arms. In the dark, I touched myself and collected Johnathon's spent seed on the very tip of my finger. I dangled my hand over the side of the bed where my very restless husbnad found it and eagerly sucked it from my fingertip.

Working on a New Project

2007-01-20T10:09:00.000-08:00

Forgive me. I am consistent only in my inconstistency.

I am working on a new project which I will eventually announce in the pages of this blog. Please be patient, as it will surely take a long time.

I can tell you that my husband and I have been consumed in happiness as of late. If I have been inconsistent with my posts, I have not been inconsistent in my nurturing of his submission. Everything we have done together has made our relationship stronger and more fully developed than ever.

Please do not hesitate to post just to let me know how you are all doing in your own lives.

A Wonderful Camping Trip

2006-12-18T07:53:00.000-08:00

We just returned from a camping trip out west. This was very unlike us as I am obviously the pampered sort and my husband's idea of roughing it typically involves the largest of my strap-on toys.

There were at least two elements of our camping trip which had a very sexual element which might be of interest to all of you.

One was a wonderful love-making experience that we had on a river bank opening up to a broad expanse of open, rocky shore. You could see miles down the river in both directions and hundreds of yards back until the rocky ground gave way to a grove of trees at the base of a small ledge rising up above those same trees. In this isolated but very public area my husband stripped, prepared me my lunch, and generally served my comforts while I relaxed and enjoyed the moment. Later, he serviced me orally and eventually we had intercouse. I was so moved by the moment that I allowed him the very rare treat of releasing his seed inside my body.

The other element of note was the fact that I did not bathe for the entire six days of our trip. There were times during the week that we were engaged in very strenuous hiking, and while it was never very warm, I still worked up heavy perspiration on some days. All of this made my musk quite strong, and this was much to the delight of my husband. Later, when we were together in our tent, even I was quite overwhelmed by the perfume of my own body that lingered on my husband's face.

I don't know if there is anything to the science of pheremones or not, but I will definately say that both of our libido's were very strong that week. I am reminded that Napolean once wrote Josephine and instructed her not to bathe before he returned to see her. I think I see why.

Synchronized Breathing

2006-11-09T10:25:00.000-08:00

I love to lie next to my husband and syncrhonize our breathing in such a way that my every exhale is his every inhale. The air from my lungs is as intimate as any of the other bodily exchanges I have described on here, and offers a wonderful window to intimacy. Also, not all of our intimate activity provides us face to face contact. I do love my husband, after all, and love staring into his eyes.

Melancholy and Femdom

2006-10-27T12:05:00.000-07:00

There is certainly an emotional rhythm to the joy I take in controlling my husband and the joy he takes in surrendering to me. He tells me that on rainy days, he can more quickly and deeply immerse himself in subspace. This may be a reflection of the fact that I am less playful, but more sincere and noticeably more intense in my demands when the gloom of the weather affects my mood.

I think when we retreat into our minds and are less distracted by the activities that good weather affords us, we are more open to true intimacy. For my husband and I, intimacy is so easily expressed in terms of power exchange. I suppose that the silver linings around the rain clouds in our lives are easily wrapped around his neck with one end in my delicate hand.

Anatomy and Metaphor

2006-10-23T05:20:00.000-07:00

It can be no coincidence that two of the activities that seem to have the most metaphorical significance to my husband and I involve the same small patch of our respective anatomies.

I love the physical sensatin of my husband's tongue on my labia and clitoris, but nothing quite says adoration like his tongue in my asshole. Yes, it has a very pleasant physical sensation associated with it, but there is something else. There is a certain comfort I take in the eagerness with which he worships this tiny rosebud that makes it all very special. Also, I know that it strains his tongue like mere oral sex does not. His analingnus is more of a thrusting motion than his cunilingnus, and I know it wears him out terribly to do it as long as I require.

Likewise, his own asshole brings me pleasure. I am resolute that it is a sense of feminine and not masculine power that I feel when I penetrate him with my own prosthetic cock. We most often do this in front of a large mirror that we have hung in the loft area where my massage table sits. He watches himself become my slut, which is something akin but slightly different from being my servant. He has told me that, physically, this is actually no comfort to him. Emotionally, however, he begs me for it.

Television Show Featuring Submissive Husbands

2006-10-20T04:25:00.000-07:00

I received an email making me aware of the ABC show Wife Swap's interest in featuring a household where the husband is submissive and the wife dominant. Apparently, the show contacted Emily Addison to solicit help in finding such a couple, and she has posted a letter to that effect on her blog. Even given the $20,000 fee to participate, I am afraid I value my privacy a bit much for this. However, it occurs to me that it would be a wonderful adventure for a mainstream husband to show up in the house of a cuckoldress: "And now we live by my rules. Do be a dear and taste my lover's seed."

In any event, I think that the general public is not ready for loving female authority as the media remains too interested in the shock value of the lifestyle and not at all interested in the very genuine benefits. I believe that a sincere approach to the topic would have great interest to the audience of Oprah, the View, or any of these mainstream talk shows.

A Golden Pleasure Not Often Discussed

2006-10-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

Since first writing about my initial experiences in having my husband consume my golden nectar, I have not said much more about this. We still practice this very often. In fact, he has become so good at it that I can be sitting in our den and urinate in his mouth without any fear that he will spill a drop. For anyone that has real and not fantasy experience with this practice, you know that my confidence in this represents quite an accomplishment on his part.

While he loves the symbolic nature of the act, he still abhors the taste of my urine. However, he has overcome the gag reflex and has conditioned his throat to remain always open so that he can consume my stream continuously and in large part without intermittent swallowing. We do not do it every day because we suspect it may not be the best thing for his body to be forever consuming my waste products, but it does happen several times a week.

I had once heard that drinking pineapple juice would flavor my urine. However, I drank a half gallon, and he indicated that it had no impact. What does impact the taste is how much water I have had in the hours prior. I can water down my urine, but I still want to make it taste like something special to him. I want him to crave the urine itself and not just the metaphor.

Any suggestions would be welcome.

Old Posts Seem as if Written by Another

2006-10-11T12:09:00.000-07:00

There are certain of my older posts that I cherish as if lookihg through a scrapbook of black and white memories. Others seem unfamiliar, as if written by someone else. Focus is crucial to making any relationship work, not just a femdom relationship. I feel that I let myself and my husband down by not taking proper stewardship over our intimacy.

One thing that does not seem unfamiliar to me is all the wonderful comments that have been posted as of late. I am truly grateful for your patience in waiting for me to come out of the wilderness.

Suffering for Me

2006-10-09T05:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon, I spread grains of rice on the hardwood floors of our bedroom. I had my husband strip and kneel there, his hands behind his back, until 11:00 p.m. This was an eight hour ordeal. I suggest that my readers try kneeling on rice for ten minutes before dismissing the intensity of this act.

At 11:00, he came into the bed and pleasured me with his mouth. Afterwards he was permitted to have intercourse and climax inside me. He then cleaned up - the rice and otherwise - before going to bed.

I believe that we need physical intimacy that stems from penetrative sex. I believe that the presence of his seed in my body is restorative to both of us. I am happy, however, that the ritual suffering that precedes this activity is now taking place.

It is a small sacrifice given the weight of the reward.

Loving Me

2006-10-07T20:17:00.000-07:00

Imagine me sitting back against an abundance of pillows. The room is lit by candles, my mind is warm with wine. My very wonderful but unfamiliar lover has stood up from the bed and watches me as he pulls on his clothes. My eyes are afixed on him as we share a smile. My gaze remains intact as my loving husband emerges from the shadows to position himself between my legs. He consumes me and knows in those moments an emotional and psychological place that completes him. My lover smiles, but shakes his head as if to indicate a complete lack of understanding of this man between my legs. If he mounted my husband, it would not seem to emasculate him as much. My lover finishes dressing and kisses me before bidding me goodbye. He ignores my husband.

In this moment I knew that these addictions must be controlled.

New Beginnings

2006-10-06T18:36:00.000-07:00

The storm came very suddenly. We realized that we had become addicted to the roles that felt so natural to us, and we felt compelled to intensify our positions in the relationship. When we had gone as far as we could go, we explored tangents that seemed only remotely connected to where this had all begun.

We retreated, we repaired. We are through with the two steps back, and we are again engaged in two steps forward. He rubs and kisses my feet as I type this.

Goodnight for now.

Interesting Article

2006-06-22T12:41:00.000-07:00

Please see the following article reprinted from the ABC News website. It talks about how a woman's infidelity can strengthen a marriage. It mentions nothing even close to cuckolding, but some of the underlying dynamics that drive the ideas in this marriage are surely those same dynamics that drive the intimacy in cuckolding.

In any event, this is a very interesting article.

---

June 21, 2006 — Dan and Kelly Gengler got married when they were 21 and had two children early in the relationship.

At first they were happy, but postpartum depression and Dan Gengler's long workdays and preoccupation with sports caused the young couple to drift apart.

"I didn't really know who I was or had no idea who Dan was, and I felt myself starting to pull back," Kelly Gengler said. "I started seeking other ways to be emotionally fulfilled, which ended in my having an affair and leaving everything behind."

Her affair stunned Dan Gengler.

"I was angry," he said. "When I first found out about it, and I was kind of just dumbfounded."

A 2004 ABC News poll found that 15 percent of spouses had cheated at some point during their marriage. The Journal of Sex Research found that 25 percent of men and 15 percent of women had cheated.

Kelly Gengler's affair nearly destroyed her marriage. It ultimately, however, brought her closer to her husband.

"Our relationship is definitely stronger," he said. "We've learned a lot about each other and a lot about ourselves."

Kelly Gengler left her husband for six months before convincing him that they should give their marriage another chance. The two went on a retreat with other struggling couples and learned how to make their marriage work, and, most importantly, love again.

"Would I choose to go through the experience of an affair and nearly divorcing in order to become stronger in our marriage? Absolutely not," she said. "Would we be where we are without that happening? I don't think so. I fully believe we would already be divorced."

A Learning Experience

There are other well-known examples of couples who have weathered highly publicized affairs: President Clinton and Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, Bill and Camille Cosby, and Frank and Kathie Lee Gifford.

"People often do get past this and the way in which they do this is by really learning what's happening in their relationship," said psychiatrist Keith Ablow.

In a New York Times article on Tuesday, Ablow wrote that infidelity could prompt a couple to re-examine their needs and re-ignite the passion in their relationship.

"I'm not saying that you should forget," Ablow said. "What you should take away from this is that marriage is a vital enterprise. It needs to be fed constantly."

Belisa Vranich, a clinical psychologist and the sex and relationships editor for Men's Fitness magazine, says that the betrayal of infidelity is so great that most couples can't overcome it.

"Sometimes the infidelity is the last straw," Vranich said. "It's the end of the chapter."

However, Ablow says that sometimes the infidelity can lead to the second chapter of a marriage.

Both Ablow and Vranich agreed that there were some couples who should take infidelity as a sign that they should split.

"If someone is repeatedly straying and making it known to the other spouse either consciously or subconsciously and doing it in such a hurtful way, there is probably such a disregard for the feeling of the other partner," Ablow said.

"If one spouse has no interest in cooperating to make the marriage work, it probably will not work," he said.

Keith Ablow will star in a daytime TV show later this year. To learn more, visit www.keithablow.com.

Intimacy

2006-06-15T05:15:00.000-07:00

When we are engaged in sex, we are conscious of certain sensual details. The feeling of hair sweeping across our cheeks, scratching against our eyelashes. The warmth of a hand on our waist, the stickiness of it pulling away from our warm body to reposition itself elsewhere. The push of your lover's exhale from their chest against yours followed instantly by his or her breath. I believe these sensual details to be at the heart of physical intimacy.

When I describe sex, it seems as if I often recount the story of two shadows making love. The positions of bodies, the start-stop of intercourse, the movements, rhythms and syncopations of two silhouettes disconnected from their other senses. If these descriptions are to inform the reader at all as to the actual events, than they are by their very nature less intimate than the experience itself. I suppose this is at it should be.

I write this because I think it is a metaphor for what my husband tried to describe for me after our dinner party concluded. He said he felt as though we were playing our parts, but there was no true intimacy amongst any of us. I agree. I think the nature of casual aquaintences congealing into sexual activity is less than just the warm kisses of my husband on my ankles when he rubs my feet. I think we reached for something bold, but instead found an experience that might have been on par with an adult film. At the time it was quite absorbing, but afterwards, there was no intensity of his submission to enjoy. Furthermore, my husband has been quite himself since the evening ended. This was very unlike our past experiences in which my nurturing was his opiate.

Our Dinner Party Continues

2006-06-14T10:38:00.000-07:00

Maria was absolutely soaked with passion. She rolled off of me and repositioned her body so that she still straddled me, but was now up on her knees facing away from me. Then Dave stood above her on the bed so that she could return to sucking his cock. It was once again semi-hard and still glistening with our fluids. When she had brought back the life in Dave's beautiful manhood, she rolled over so that she was still on top of me, with her face above mine, her elbows on either side of me and her ass in the air above my mid-section. Dave positioned himself behind her and started fucking her. She locked her mouth onto mine in a passionate kiss. I could feel every thrust of Dave's cock reflected in her breathing, the motions of her tongue, the quiver of her lips.

She was calling out to Paul, "Are you watching this? Are you watching this stud fuck your wife?" The taunts stopped, but the fucking continued. Maria's hair was hanging loosely and bouncing about my face. I reached up and touched her breasts. She repositioned herself so that I could put them in my mouth.

After what seemed like a very long time, Dave exploded in Maria. Paul was anxious to clean Dave's seed from his wife as my husband had done for me earlier. I got back up and propped against the pillows so that Maria could rest back against me as her husband went down on her. I kissed the back of her neck and played with her breasts as she gently rubbed her husband's shoulders.

Maria asked what we should do about our husband's hard cocks. I suggested that she learn how powerful it is to leave it that way for a few days. She laughed, pulling her husband's face away from her pussy by his hair. She asked him what he thought about becoming a full-time cuckold, and he just smiled and pulled himself back to devouring her.

When Maria was satisfied, she stood up and led me to the shower. Dave joined us, and afterwards, Paul and my husband both took separate showers. We all met up in the kitchen to drink coffee and finish sobering up before our guests departed.

Dinner Was Served

2006-06-13T07:58:00.000-07:00

Dinner was served at 8:00.

Our guests arrived at 7:00. Maria and Paul, her husband, looked wonderful and were glowing with anticipation. With them was Dave, the friend that Maria had discussed on the phone. It turned out that Dave was an old friend of Maria's whom she had known before she ever met her husband. Dave had played with Maria and Paul on several occasions in the past. He was quite good looking. He was tall and thin, and as was the case with our other guests, much younger than I and my husband.

We were all dressed in casual clothes, the men in khaki shorts or jeans, the women in shorts. My husband offered beer or wine to everyone, and we were soon drinking and making the sort of small talk that must have seemed as silly to everyone else as it did to me given what we assumed was to follow. My husband was cooking a tenderloin on the grill, and he served it at 8:00 with a creamy polenta and grilled vegetables. New bottles of wine were opened for dinner. Everyone was delighted with the meal and quite relaxed by the time desert was served. Desert was ice cream served over a warm blueberry crisp.

Maria was the first one to steer the conversation to the topic that was undoubtably on everyone's mind. She told me that Paul and Dave were quite anxious to play their roles and asked if my husband was ready as well. I explained that it was not a matter of roleplaying for my husband, he was at my disposal always. Maria smiled. She clapped her hands twice and commanded Paul to assist my husband in cleaning up the dishes. She lifted a just-opened bottle of wine off the table, picked up her glass, and then invited Dave and I to join her in the living room.

She sat next to Dave on the couch with one arm around him and one leg stretched over both of his. I sat across from them in a high-backed chair. Maria asked me if I had ever been with a woman. I had not and told her so much. Her lingering smile suggested that she was anxious to seduce me. She stood and placed her wine glass on the table beside the couch. She kept her gaze on me as she lifted her shirt above her head revealing youthful breasts. I confess that I have occasionally fantasized about the beauty of the female form, and now I was inclined to indulge this fantasy.

Maria knelt in front of me and lifted my shirt just slightly to kiss my midsection. Then she unbuttoned my shorts and pulled them down and off of my ankles. She left my red lace panties on me as she pulled my legs up and onto her shoulders. She planted soft kisses on me through the panties. I was mesmerized by this young woman. I arched my back and positioned myself lower in the chair to make myself more available to her. I opened my eyes and saw that Paul and my own husband had taken positions on either side of me. Paul extended the wine glass to me, and I took a small sip. My husband put his hand on my head and gently brushed his fingers through my hair. Then, with my eyes again closed, I felt Maria slide my panties off. I felt her warm, soft mouth between my legs. After several minutes, she pulled away and instructed the two husbands to carry me into the bedroom where they propped me upright against some pillows.

I looked up to see that Dave was standing in the room completely naked. His tall, thin form was laced with muscles and he had barely an ounce of fat on his body. His cock hung semi-hard between his legs. Maria knelt in front of him and placed his cock in her mouth. I could see his erection take shape as she wrapped her mouth around it. Then she stood behind him and placed her hand around the base of his erection. She was guiding him towards me and my waiting body. I dropped into position to receive him, and spread my legs invitingly. In an instant he was on top of me and pushing his cock inside of me. My husband kissed my forehead. I took his hand and told him to watch everything that was happening. I screamed to David to fuck me. I was an animal as his cock slammed in and out of me with no rhythm that I could decipher.

David taunted my husband. He rubbed his finger on my clit as he continued to penetrate me. He lifted his finger to my husband and asked him if he would like to taste how excited his wife was. My husband licked at David's fingers with a sweet affection that I knew belonged to me. I soon became lost in the powerful strokes of David's cock until finally, following a sustained pause in David's motions, he released his seed into my body. David pulled out and collapsed backwards on the bed.

By this time Maria had stripped off the remainder of her clothes. She pulled away the pillows against which I had been propped and climbed on top of me, positioning her pussy over my face. I tasted another woman for the first time ever. I was awash in lustful pleasure and could not even watch as my husband took his place between my legs to taste the warm potion that Dave and I had created for him. I could sense his enthusiasm as his tongue went deep into my body to swallow every drop of our fluids.

All Set

2006-06-09T10:57:00.000-07:00

We are all set for Maria, her husband, and their friend to join us for dinner this weekend.

Dinner Guests

2006-06-06T11:52:00.000-07:00

I spoke with "Maria", the woman to whom I had extended a dinner invitation to her and her husband, last night. She called to happily accept our invitation to dinner at our home for next Saturday evening.

I then told her that there was something she should know which might, although I certainly hoped it would not, cause her to reconsider. I explained that while we did not discuss it when we met this past weekend, my husband and I practice a female-led marriage. I described how he is completely submissive to me, and while the level to which he displays his submissiveness in front of others can be moderated in the interest of their comfort-level, certain limits are always in place. He will not, for example, be permitted to have sex with another woman.

Maria replied that this was incredibly interesting to her. Her and her husband have experimented with roleplaying, but they have taken turns in the dominant and submissive role and they turn these roles off completely outside of the bedroom. I asked her to discuss it with her husband and think about what roles they wanted to play if dinner on Saturday should turn into desert so to speak. I explained that I had cuckolded my husband in the past, but I would understand completely if Maria thought it selfish that I would have sex with her husband while she could not have sex with my own.

Maria has indicated that she will speak to her husband. One idea that she mentioned was involving yet another male friend with whom they have played in the past. This way both husbands could play the cuckold role and the additional guest could play the part of the Bull.

She has indicated she will call me later in the week with an update.

Weekend Cocktail Party

2006-06-05T19:04:00.000-07:00

Through circmstances I prefer not to discuss, my husband and I became aware of a group in our city which can best be described as a private swingers club. The group consists of about twenty couples, about half of which might show up at any given event. We were recently invited to a party at a lake home belonging to one of the member couples which was held this past weekend. I decided that we would attend this party, but this being our first time at an event such as this, we would absolutely not -- under no circumstances -- consider playing with another couple. We were told by the guests that invited us that this would not be an issue. In fact, the common areas of the home were off-limits to any sexual activity. Any sexual activity was to take place in one of the home's four bedrooms or the very private hot tub area on the downstairs patio.

My husband and I were both incredibly nervous in driving up to the party. While we had met the one couple that invited us, we did not know them well. We had very little idea of what to expect once we showed up.

Once inside, we were pleasantly surprised. The couples that stood around the kitchen and living room area were all very "normal", (at least reasonably) attractive looking people. Most of them were younger than us, but there were at least two other couples visible that seemed to be our age. We were greeted with welcoming smiles that seemed to hide the same curiousity about us that we certainly had for them. The conversations in which we quickly found ourselves provided no evidence as to what might be happening later that evening. We talked about work, music, and any number of very ordinary subjects. We had a very simple dinner of grilled chicken which we ate buffet style on the deck overlooking the lake.

As the evening wore on and drinks continued to flow, the conversations became increasingly less ordinary, and my husband and I ended up very much the center of attention. We were the only couple at the party who had never attended an event in the past. We both failed to answer as to whether or not we had been sexually active outside of our marriage, and apart from my husband's normally very high attentiveness to my needs, there was no overt indication of his submission to me.

As the evening continued, one younger couple was extremely attentive to the two of us. The woman asked my husband to walk out to the lake with her, but he declined. The husband sat very close to me and had his arms around me for much of the night. They finally asked us outright if we weren't up for spending some private time with them, but I explained that we had made a very serious commitment to looking and not touching at this initial party. I asked, however, if they would consider a dinner invitation from us. They replied eagerly that they would. With that, we told them we would call them this week and encouraged them to find some others with whom to spend the rest of the evening. Shortly afterwards we found the host for the party, thanked him very much -- assured him we would be more fun at the next party -- and went home. Needless to say, my husband spent some quality time between my legs that evening.

I called the couple and left a message for them this morning. On the message I asked if they would be available for dinner next weekend.

Amazing

2006-06-01T07:03:00.000-07:00

I take my privacy very seriously, and I am becoming quite paranoid at the level of effort that others are putting into "outing" me. I assure you that I am quite real, and I am very intent on remaining anonymous. I have taken and will continue to take steps to disguise my identity.

My husband and I are still together. We are still practicing a female-led marriage. I continue to keep all my options open as to how I control my husband, and these options certainly include cuckolding.

My absence can be explained, in part, by a very serious offer that I have from a large adult web business that wants to leverage the community that is building around this blog to produce a commercial entity. After serious discussions, we have put the plan on hold. However, I remain open to this issue so long as my privacy and my husband's privacy can be protected and that the tone and direction of the web content advances the cause of matriarchy. I will not merely play to the lowest common denominator of male sexual exploitation, but I have something to offer and may one day turn my passion into commerce.

I extend my thanks to all that have emailed me expressing concern and gratitude for this site. I certainly plan to continue posting.

I Regret Nothing

2006-05-03T13:25:00.000-07:00

Let me clarify my last post with this short, but hopefully edifying comment. I regret nothing. As I feel more competant in my ability to communicate my evolving thoughts and emotions on this topic, I will post a more comprehensive comment.

I Do Not Advocate Cuckolding

2006-05-02T12:09:00.000-07:00

Let me make something perfectly clear.

Please know that while I share my own experiences with cuckolding on this site, I do not advocate that anyone take this step. It has been more emotionally charged and complex than I ever realized. Yes, my husband and I have grown through our experience, but it has not been without consequences.

Everyone that reads this blog may arrive at your own conclusions and take whatever course you feel appropriate in your own relationship, but do not look to me to bless your decisions.

Starting Small

2006-04-29T11:51:00.000-07:00

While this site is not intended as a forum for those seeking to initiate loving female authority with their vanilla wives, I do have a generic recommendation. Start small.

Do the little things necessary to build towards a wife-led relationship. Do not expect to bring up cuckolding and to have her jump at the opportunity. For most women, the simple step of assuming the role of head of household requires a signficant shift in thinking.

In the end, it is the knowledge that she is in control and you are her obedient servant that is the true blessing to a submissive man. Cuckolding is only an intense demonstration of that reality.

Surprised

2006-04-26T06:14:00.000-07:00

I was surprised by the very large number of private emails I got seeking to bring submissives, dominants and bulls together. The following is a quick summary of those seeking others. I have excluded the largest category, which was submissives seeking dominant women, but I am maintaining a list privately. I may not reply to all the emails I get, but I will do my best to selectively forward emails to those with sincere and thoughtful comments.

Miami: Couple seeking Bull
Norther New Jersey: Dominant woman seeking submissive
Atlanta: Dominant couple seeking other dominant couples and females
Southern California: Couple seeking Bull and also dominant woman seeking submissive
Grand Rapids: Couple seeking Bull
Houston: Dominant woman seeking submissive
Cincinnati: Dominant woman seeking submissive

Men Seeking to Be Bulls

2006-04-25T12:44:00.000-07:00

Although I do not recall ever receiving a public post on the topic, I get email after email offering to be be the Bull in my cuckolding activities. I can tell you with absolute certainty that I would never entertain meeting up with a man that solicited his services to me on this blog.

On a related note, I have never received an email from a woman asking me to help connect her with a submissive man. While I might be more inclined to help in these cases, I think that those women that are self-aware of their dominant nature attract submissive men like moths to a flame and need no help from me.

Interesting Finding

2006-04-23T13:19:00.000-07:00

The following appeared in an on-line version of a UK paper. It suggests that giving a woman control of her sexuality is as strong an aphrodesiac as the newly discovered and much touted chemical compound, PT-141. I know that for me, our foray into LFA has awakened a level of sexual intensity that I had forgotten existed.

The funny thing is, it appears there's a certain humanlike subjectiveness to the sex life of lab animals as well. When Jim Pfaus tested PT-141 on his female rats, he based his experimental design partly on the work of Raul Paredes, a fellow rat sexologist testing the effects of something more elusive: personal autonomy. That's a tricky thing to measure, but it can be done. Paredes did it like this: first, he looked at rat couples living in standard, box-shaped cages and recorded the details of their sexual behaviour. Then, he altered the cages in only one particular: he divided them into two chambers with a clear wall broken only by one opening, too small for the males to get through but just right for the females. Architecturally it was a minor change, but what it did for the females was huge. It let them get away from the males whenever they chose to, and thereby made it entirely their choice whether to have sex. Paredes then observed the rats' behaviour in this altered setting. Here's what he found: the effects of giving a female rat greater personal control over her sex life are essentially the same as those of giving her PT-141. Autonomy, in other words, is as real an aphrodisiac as any substance known to science.

Femdom "Buzz-killers"

2006-04-21T08:11:00.000-07:00

My husband made an interesting comment to me last night. I asked him to bring me a snack from the kitchen, and when he returned, I very unconsciously thanked him. He told me that this was a real "buzz-killer" for him, and he preferred to told what to do (not asked) and receive no thanks for his service.

Generally, this is exactly what I do with him. However, in the outside world, I am conditioned to use my manners. Occasionally I will slip and use them inside the home. I found it interesting that he shared his observation that good manners are prone to take him out of subspace.

Touched and moved

2006-04-12T05:15:00.000-07:00

I am actually touched by the outpouring of emotion that my recent post elicited in some of you. It makes me realize that while I discuss my husband's frailties and the pleasure I take in playing upon them, I tend to leave my own off of these pages. I have grown in my role as a dominant woman, but I still have my own insecurities with which to deal. In fact, my dominance helps me deal with them in a way I am only starting to understand. I now need my husband's devotion - and it would seem that I need it expressed in ever intensifying acts of submission - just as he needs my authority.

The body worship, the massages, they still occur with the same frequency as they did when I originally started posting. Forgive me that I have not thought it important to continue to right about what is very much habit in our household. I think we need to spend time enjoying these simple and delightful pleasures and focus less on the emotional thunder of our recent adventures.

Other Outlets

2006-04-06T16:33:00.000-07:00

There are many of you who read my blog, and I am pleased that there is a dedicated group that posts comments. I assure you that I enjoy these comments and take them to heart.

If there are men out there that fantasize of being cuckolded, but have never experienced it, tell me what outlets do you have for your fantasies. You can read this blog, and there are other sites that discuss the topic, but is that enough? Are there videos that are intelligently made? It is not like you can "buy" a cuckolding experience like you can a sexual and even a femdom experience. By necessity cuckolding must be done by someone with whom you are close.

Your comments are welcome.

New Direction

2006-04-04T06:16:00.000-07:00

Forgive my rather abrupt conclusion to the story that I was telling. I have decided not to go further for the near future. While my husband and I are getting back to our old routines, I think it best to refrain from sharing the final details of our night with Jim.

Another opportunity for discussion, however, presents itself. Remember Mindy and Paul, the young couple that have recently begun leading a wife-led marriage? Mindy and I have again been emailing and talking on the telephone. It seems that there is a specific gentleman with whom she is acquainted that has awoken her own desire to cuckold her husband. While I have advised against it at length, I am considering a project where I script a cuckold scene that will serve as a proxy for the real thing. I doubt I would post it publicly (so do not consider your own selfish motives), but I am curious as to what you all might think of such an idea.

Clarification and Comment

2006-03-23T06:35:00.000-08:00

I would not describe my husband's post-cuckold experience as a melt-down. The experience, however, does create a very heightened state of emotional sensitivity in him that requires intense nurturing on my part. It connects us in a way that nothing else can substitute.

I certainly do not allow him to orgasm in the moments and days that follow the event, but rather will save his orgasm as a symbolic (and even bio-chemical) conclusion to the stage of emotional intensity in which we now find ourselves.

Delay for Good Cause

2006-03-22T05:14:00.000-08:00

While there is more story to tell, I am delaying the details. The after effects of the evening on my husband's emotions are as they were before, and he is always my priority.

An incredible evening continues...

2006-03-20T08:12:00.000-08:00

Jim's domineering tone with my husband continued. Had I become uncomfortable with it, I would certainly have acted, but as it was, I was enjoying it. He insisted that my husband strip down and kneel before refilling our wine glasses. Still laying atop Jim, I rolled onto my side and rested my head on one hand. The other hand danced across Jim's chest hairs. I smiled and kept my stare on my husband.

Jim very matter of factly informed my husband that he had already had his way with me. I somewhat whimsically apologized for not waiting until my husband returned. I ran my finger inside of my body and moistened it. I extended it to my husband's mouth and let him taste the warm cocktail that our passion had produced. His eyes closed as his mouth wrapped around my finger.

Jim repositioned me so that I lay flat against his body. I kissed him and raised my hips above his waist. My husband took my cue, and without waiting for permission, moved himself into position behind me. I felt his mouth explore the warmth between my legs as my own mouth was locked onto Jim's. I lowered my hips and I felt Jim's cock hardening against my abdomen. I pushed my body forward slightly so that I could feel his erection and my husband's mouth between my legs at the same time. I then felt my husband put his hand between my legs. He was pushing me open and guiding Jim's cock inside me. I moaned and began a rocking motion.I could feel my husband struggle to keep him mouth between my legs.

This was the wild abandon of inhibitions that when it finally ends, you cannot ever recall -- and certainly cannot articulate -- the experience exactly as it feels at the time.

Once a cuckold...

2006-03-19T09:49:00.000-08:00

As is my custom, I will extend the details over several posts. It begins here.

My dearest husband obsesses over my physical pleasure and the solace that he finds in his unconditional surrender to me. Whatever uncomfortable moments he had in the days and weeks that followed his initial cuckolding experience seem to have been forgotten in the grip of his insatiable desire to repeat his ultimate act of submission.

My husband had prepared a wonderful meal for us. However, being sensitive to the awkwardness of his presence, he left his wife and lover to enjoy the meal without him. This was at around 7:30 in the evening. He promised to return by 9:30, and bowed gracefully to both of us as he headed out the door. I certainly had every intention of waiting until my husband returned before initiating any intimacy with Jim. It was only a combination of the wine and Jim's warm breath on the back of my neck as he kissed me and played with hair that changed my plans. When my husband returned, as promised at 9:30, I was laying on the couch wearing only my special necklace, quite passionately ravaged, and stretched listlessly across the length of Jim's own naked body.

Jim surprised me by calling for my husband to bring us more wine. Jim's submissive curiousity, to which he had hinted in his email, did not seem so easily exploited as that of my husband's. I placed my hands between my legs. I could feel Jim's seed already leaking onto my thighs. I knew, however, that most of it was still inside me. I could feel Jim's cock start to harden again beneath me. Apparently he too was enjoying the presence of such precise power exchange.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

2006-03-16T10:31:00.000-08:00

My husband informed me that we will have a guest for dinner Saturday night. It should be quite an evening.

No Meaningful Update

2006-03-08T11:47:00.000-08:00

I am writing this post just to keep everyone on top of the situation relative to my husband's currently open invitation to call Jim.

He has not said anything else about since I first mentioned it to him. We have spent the last few evenings just enjoying each others company. We have played tennis, watched a movie with some friends, and lived a decidedly uneventful life. If not for my evening massages, there would be nothing out of the ordinary about our time together.

Invitation

2006-03-04T07:21:00.000-08:00

Last night, with a glass of wine in my hand and my husband nuzzled between my legs, I brought up the topic of Jim. I told him that I had recently been thinking about that evening. I asked my husband, now that some time has passed, what his thoughts were on the events that unfolded that night.

My husband was certainly quiet on the topic. However, I could see that it clearly aroused him. This was evident not only in the reappearance of his erection, but also a certain tenor that his body language takes as he drifts into subspace. I asked him to come up on the couch and kiss my breasts. This provided me an opportunity to hold his erection in my hand as we spoke more.

I asked him if he liked being my cuckold, even if it is something that we only occasionally practice. Of course he replied that he did. This, after all, is his nature... even if the actual activity takes some getting used to. I asked him if had ever fantasized about the night we spent with Jim and what specific activities might be the subject of his fantasies. He confessed that he often thought of the moment he first tasted Jim's seed from my body.

I told him that I had been in recent contact with Jim. However, I told him that I did not intend to speak with Jim again any time soon. The exception to this, however, would be if my husband took the initiative to call Jim and invite him to our home. This is where I left it. We will see what happens.

Reading Old Posts

2006-02-27T23:26:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here drinking my second... maybe third... (large) glass of wine. My dearest husband has given me a glorious massage and spent more than an adequate amount of time adoring me with even more glorious sexual attention. I have sent him to bed with a golden nightcap of my own making and a very well-deserved orgasm to end an evening of his perfect devotion.

I have spent the better part of the last thirty minutes re-reading old posts. I am quite aroused by my reminiscing. As I now look over at my husband sleeping so peacefully, I cannot help but recall with such vivid precision how he knelt before me and so lovingly drank my lover's seed from me.

I also confess that I have just emailed Jim. I have actually exchanged a number of emails since our first encounter. An unexpected consequence of that evening is that I have awakened a submissive side in Jim that he never knew he had. His emails to me are filled with a very sincere curiousity about the glory of serving as my submissive. If he were here now, I would have him worship me only as long as I could resist a command to ravage me. What a wonderful treat it would be to again be taken and adored.

Perhaps tomorrow I will awake and read old posts again... but without the rose colored tint of this third glass of wine.

A Night Out

2006-02-27T05:59:00.000-08:00

We went to the black-owned restaurant and club that I had mentioned in an earlier post. While we had a nice dinner, the entire evening seemed staged and awkward. It was as if we expected to walk into the building and become besieged by beautiful black men approaching us to play into some scripted scenario. It was nothing like this. Honestly, I am a little ashamed and was reluctant to even post this brief recap of the evening.

The best part of the night was going home to a wonderful massage and the pleasures of my husband's mouth on my body.

A Young Couple's New Beginning

2006-02-20T07:06:00.000-08:00

When I originally began this blog, it was intended as a forum for loving female authority in all of its many facets. I feel, however, that ever since I first mentioned cuckolding, that the focus has remained on this one very intense dimension of the lifestyle. For my own part, this has been therapeutic, and I am sure that for many of you it has been a great source of interest. However, let us not forget that there is more to life, and more to LFA, than mere cuckoldry.

To that end, I want to share the barest outline of a correspondence that I have entered into with a young woman who contacted me via the email address that I provided in an earlier post (kath_west "at" kittymail.com). While I have received a great many emails since first posting that address, and have appreciated most all of them, I have received nearly none from women. I should not say that this surprises me, but it is a fact worth noting.

The particular email exchange to which I now refer began about a month ago, and I post my comments on it now because I think it is exactly the sort of success story that many of you hope to achieve in your own relationships. Let me also add that I have confirmed that this story is not fabricated by a male who is corresponding with me and signing as a woman. I actually spoke to "Mindy" this weekend on the telephone.

Mindy met and married her husband Paul approximately three years ago. While Paul had been very aware of his desire to submit to women for a very long time, he never mentioned it to Mindy during their entire courtship and even the first year of their very happy marriage. It was only when Paul discovered the Around Her Finger site (www.aroundherfinger.com) and ended up buying Mindy some of the material that they sell on their Lulu page that Mindy learned about LFA. Mindy reacted quite positively to the material, and agreed to at least try out the dynamic of a female-led household. According to Mindy, it worked very well for several months, but soon Paul began to lose some of the enthusiasm that he demonstrated early in their new lifestyle choice.

Mindy pursued advice on the internet and ultimately decided on a course of action that went beyond the prescriptions offered by Emily Addison. It was on Elise Sutton's site (www.femalesuperiority.com) that she first learned about more advanced topics such as strap-on play, male chastity devices, and cuckoldry. For Mindy, the male chastity device and the strap-on play ended up being an incredibly effective combination in cementing authority in their home.

Mindy has indicated that her practical experience in LFA has been remarkably similar to my own. She receives the evening massages and oral/anal worship that I also enjoy. She has also made effective use of golden showers and had some of the same initial challenges with this activity that my husband and I experienced. She has not practiced cuckoldry, and says she is quite certain she never will, but she has discussed it with her husband. It is clearly a turn-on to him, but he also prefers that it never move beyond mere fantasy. We have discussed several ways that she can extend the fantasy without ever following through on the reality.

The message of Mindy's story is that LFA is within reach for many of you that seek it in your own lives. Do not continue to live a lie by keeping these feelings from your wife. Open, share and grow in your submission. She deserves your obedience and you know you will be happier under her guidance and control.

A Storm of Disconent

2006-02-17T10:01:00.000-08:00

I cannot say that I was surprised by the intensity of the reaction to my last post. The link unquestionably takes the viewer to material that is not in keeping with the purpose or tone of this blog. I do think, however, that many of you ignored my motivation in posting this link.

I do not for a moment suppose that the thoughtful readership of this site will benefit from the link that I posted. I was instead motivated by the notion of the reciprocal link on their site. My own husband confesses that he was a discreet consumer of femdom pornography before realizing the higher calling of true submission and service to me. I believe that many men's base instincts take them to visual and often demeaning imagery on the internet. I have something to offer these men, and I hope they will come to me find a more meaningful model of female authority.

This is not a commercial endeavor on my part. I am continually offended but increasingly less concerned with the naysayers and cynics who question not only my motives but indeed my very existence.

Links

2006-02-15T13:37:00.000-08:00

In the past, I have recommended sites such as www.aroundherfinger.com and www.femalesuperiority.com as good resources for aspiring male submissives. These are both sites which I very highly endorse.

However, I have been approached a number of times to participate in link exchanges with other sites. I have resisted the temptation to do so, but now have reconsidered. I believe that the reciprocal links that they offer will provide an opportunity to grow the community of active particpants in the discussion which I moderate. I have been very proud of the non-commercial nature of my blog, and wish to keep it this way for the forseeable future. If enough of you object to my participation in link exchanges, and provide good arguments to support your position, I will reconsider. For now, I am beginning my experiment with the following link:

FEMDOM
TGP -
Free Femdom tgp,
galleries and movies

Valentines Day Plans

2006-02-11T10:34:00.000-08:00

For valentines, my husband suggested a black-owned restaurant that we both know is frequented by young, upscale blacks. There is an adjacent club that attracts more singles than would the restaurant itself. We have never been to the club or the restaurant, but only know it by reputation. I thought it would be very fun, but our attempt to get reservations did not work out. I suppose others had the same idea.

Maybe some other time.

Does the fantasy of the black bull perpetuate a racist stereotype

2006-02-05T09:54:00.000-08:00

Tallchisub raises a very good point in his post to my last comment. Does the fantasy of the black bull perpetuate a rascist stereotype?

I find myself becoming sexually excited by the idea of being with a black man. Is there a racist origin to my fantasy? My husband, like many submissive men with an interest in cuckolding, has very special interest in being cuckolded by a black man. Is he a racist? Is it a reflection of "white social guilt" on his part for the crimes that society has perpetuated on the black race? Does he now want to submit to humiliation by a black man to repent for this history? Is my own interest a function of the same? Is my own perception (shared by my husband) of a black man's physical superiority in sexual matters a rascist stereotype?

Do most of my submissive readers imagine white or black bulls when considering cuckold fantasies? Please comment.

Wonderful Dialogue and Some Context

2006-02-03T05:48:00.000-08:00

I want to thank all of you have made the incredibly thoughtful posts to my last comment. I never imagined that this blog would be such a tremendous catalyst to my thinking. I encourage all of you to please continue to share your thoughts. I very much like the idea of leading a community with this blog rather than just publishing my own ideas.

I want you all to know that my husband and I have been enjoying our marriage in recent weeks in ways that I know we never could have done before the AHF dynamic began. The acceleration of that dynamic via the cuckolding experience has opened new doors into each others emotions and we are, with no doubt, closer than ever.

Last night he knelt in front of me worshipfully as he often does. I stroked my fingers through his hair and felt for maybe the first time that I was understanding him completely. His submission to me is his heart screaming a love poem to the woman he adores.

We have talked a little more about eventually re-initiating cuckolding. One of the suggestions that was made in a reader posts was to choose a man who might have less similarities to my husband than did Jim... perhaps a man of another race. This interests me greatly.

Insecurity vs. Jealousy

2006-01-24T12:40:00.000-08:00

I have read and value the comments posted to my last entry. It is interesting to me that they have focussed on my husband's insecurity rather than his jealousy. Are they the same? To me, envy is a more primal emotion and easier to understand. I am not so certain that insecurity has the same primitive ancestory.

I genuinely believes that my husband accepts his submission, therefore he is quite secure with who he is and how he relates to me. He should also be, by now, absolutely certain that my dominance is not a fleeting interest, but a core part of my personality. Therefore, he should be secure and comfortable with our established roles in the relationship My cuckolding him reinforced his submission and therefore should only have made him more secure.

One might respond by arguing that he thinks the relationship itself is in jeopardy as a result of what happened. I dismiss this. He understands and internalizes my commitment to him. I think instead that his issues stem from the fact that on a certain level, almost an evolution-driven, chemical level, he cannot bear to see his mate with another. Intellectually he desires it, but the animal that remains in all of us will not permit it.

Perhaps I am rambling. As a rule, I try not to think out loud in this forum. However, I am still formulating by final thoughts on the topic. I am interested in more feedback from all of you.

More than Subspace

2006-01-20T04:56:00.000-08:00

My husband did indeed receive an intense subspace experience from cuckolding. He also subsequently experienced triggered events that I described in my posts. The intiial experience, as well as the subsequent events, irrespective of his ability to continue to make use of them, were a postive outcome of cuckolding. My newfound sense of irrevocable and absolute control over my husband counts as another positive from the experience.

We are, however, dealing with some of the peripheral emotional issues that many of you on this blog and professionals such as Elise Sutton have told us to expect. My husband and I have not yet fully digested the emotional impact that the event has had on our relationship. At the core of it seems to be newfound insecurity on his part. While he does have an intellectual understanding and acceptance that I am absolutely committed and devoted to him, he has what I can only describe as very primal fears that my devotion is in jeopardy.

I will guide him through these issues and we will be more perfectly bonded as a result. Yet to omit these aftershocks from the ballad that I am unfolding would be an injustice to all of you, and that is why I mention them now.

Cuckolding: Latency Issues

2006-01-17T13:24:00.000-08:00

Enough time has passed since cuckolding my husband that we are detached from the emotional and sexual intensity of the event. We are able to look back and truly evaluate how it has made us feel.

I had written shortly after the cuckolding occured how incredibly empowering the experience was for me. I stand by this earlier statement. However, I could not then and cannot now detach myself from the impact that the experience has had on my husband.

Initially, my husband viewed the experience in light of the intensity to which it drove him into the hypnotic, endorphin-charged state of mind that is commonly called subspace. Cuckolding, like no other activity, triggered subspace episodes that were incredibly powerful. This is undeniable, and I think that both of us, as well as many of you, anticipated this outcome. Furthermore, it provided an experiential trigger which allowed him to re- initiate the endorphin rush by consciously recalling the experience. Similarly, it allowed me to trigger this same release by either overtly referring to his cuckold status or wearing, as I have several times since that night, the special necklace that I purchased for the occasion.

My husband's journeys into subspace have represented spiritually and emotionally satisfying events for both of us, and as such, are regarded as a positive outcome of the total experience. However, as of recently, my husband has confessed that they have begun to lose their efficacy. It is both harder for him to self-trigger the state of mind, and when he does, it seems less intense.

I asked him what he felt the solution to this problem might be and whether he felt that it might involve me spending another evening with my lover. My husband was very quick to answer that he did not know the answer, but that he was not yet ready for another cuckolding experience. He was deferential and acknowledged that he would take whatever course of action I felt appropriate, but at this time he hoped I would not involve Jim. Of course I am respecting his wishes.

I think my husband and I have much to deal with after the thrill of our experience continues to dissolve into the fabric and pattern of our memories. We will continue to grow through this what has hapened, but let our current struggle to come to terms with that evening serve as a caution to all that read this blog.

Contacting Me Privately

2006-01-10T10:56:00.000-08:00

It has come to my attention that there are some that view my blog that would like to contact me privately. I cannot promise that I will respond to each message, but I have decided to publish the following email address. I ask that you please be respectful when you contact me.

I am masking the address because I believe it will minimize the quantity of spam that I will receive. You should, however, have no trouble deciphering my code.

kath_west (at) kittymail (dotcom)

Married Men and Professional Dommes

2006-01-09T09:05:00.000-08:00

I have often wondered if married men have found that their need to submit is sated by a visit to a professional dominatrix. Can a man truly surrender to a woman he barely knows and who he only serves for brief period of time.

Are there men out there who have explored this avenue of release and can you comment on how it did or did not satisfy your expectations?

New Year's Eve

2006-01-02T07:52:00.000-08:00

All is not cuckolding.

My husband and I went out to dinner with a group of friends on New Year's Eve. As you know, we generally keep our lifestyle as a very private matter, and while my husband is always particularly attentive to me in public, most of our social circle would never suspect the extent to which I truly control him.

After dinner, we sat and drank wine and all became very tipsy and giddy. One of the men at the table very light-heartedly mentioned that my husband was by far the most pussy-whipped in the group and truly showed no signs of even wanting to wear the pants in our relationship. While this was a very astute observation, the comment had the potential to bring an uncomfortable moment to what was otherwise a very pleasant evening. My husband, however, good naturedly concurred with our friend's observation and ultimately opened the door to more revelations than had heretofore come to pass.

My husband confessed that I was clearly the Alpha-spouse in the home and that he would have it no other way. In fact, he went on, all marriages would be better off if men were the submissive partners in the marriage. He described how in our own home, he does the laundry, the house-cleaning and the cooking. His most important job is "chief pamperer", and he is always at my beck and call with foot rubs, massages, or whatever might please me. A this point I intervened as I thought he might be on the verge of going to far with personal details. I rubbed my hand on the back of his neck and told the group that my husband is the perfect man, and with a smile, explained that he was always rewarded for his efforts. Besides a few friendly giggles, really, nothing more was said about it that night.

Last night, I went to the mall with one of the women that we had been to dinner with on New Year's. Apparently the conversation did not pass quickly from her thoughts. She prodded me for more details and wanted to know if my marriage was really like my husband described. I did my best to deflect her questions. We will see if she brings them up again, but for now, I was not ready to share any more than had already been confessed. While I believe in this lifestyle, I realize that loving female authority - even far short of the level to which we practice it in our home - represents a powder keg of prejudices and perceptions. I am not quite sure that I am ready to have a partner in crime with a woman to whom I am so close.

Again, I will wait and see if she continues to press the matter.

Cuckolding Takes Place

2005-12-27T09:31:00.000-08:00

Jim and I returned from dinner at around 10:30 and found that my husband had prepared our home for our arrival. There was music playing that I did not recognize. It was very dark piano music, a jazz artist that he had discovered on the internet. The only lights in the house were candles. There was a trail of white rose petals that led to the door of the bedroom. As Jim and I followed the trail into the bedroom, we could not help but notice that the trail of white petals led to red rose petals that surrounded the bed in an imperfect, scattered ring. My husband knelt beside the bed and inside the ring. His head was bowed and in his upstretched hands he held a single glass of red wine. Jim took the glass from him and took a sip. He handed the glass to me and I finished it, placing it back on the nightstand beside our bed.

Jim took me in his arms and kissed me. He began undressing me, but I stopped him. I asked him to go into the bathroom to get undressed and told him that my husband would remove my clothes. This gave my husband an opportunity to spend a few private, intimate moments with me before his transformation would occur. He undressed me with great care. He planted small kisses on my feet and my thighs. I ran my fingers through his hair. When he was completely done, he pulled back the covers of the bed and I lay down perfectly beautiful before him, wearing only the necklace that I had chosen to serve as a tangible reminder of the new life that I was ushering in for him.

Jim then walked back into the room. His naked body was very impressive. He had an athletic chest. His penis hung semi-hard between his legs. It was not enormous, but it was larger than my husbands and it was very beautiful. He matched my stare as he approached me, and he put one knee on the bed as leaned over me to kiss me. His one leg remained on the floor as he moved his mouth over my neck and down to taste my chest. I was extraordinarily aroused and I closed my eyes and moved my own hand betweeen my legs where I allowed it to massage and moisten me. He moved his own hand over mine and manipulated my fingers so that I had the best of both worlds, both the softness of my own feminine touch and the strength of his hands working together for my pleasure.

I opened my eyes to see that Jim had grown fully erect. It had been a very long time since I had put a penis in my mouth. I had abandoned long ago and forever the notion of servicing my husband. At this occasion, however, I was suddenly struck with a desire to put all of Jim's cock into my mouth. Again, with one leg on the floor and one on the bed, he positioned himself in such a way as to accomodate my hunger. With my eyes again closed I put my mouth on his balls, ran my toungue up the length of him and finally swallowed the head of his cock. My eyes opened to see my husband gazing intently at my lust. I pulled my mouth off of Jim only long enough to smile wickedly at my husband. When I returned to sucking my lover's cock, I kept my eyes affixed on my husband's eyes. He was at once transfixed and far away.

When I had warmed Jim to his satisfaction, he pulled his hard cock from my mouth and for the first time committed himself to the bed. He lifted my outstretched legs and postioned his knees in front of my body. He pointed the head of his cock at my warm opening with military precision. He paused, knowing I had a very clear plan on how we would proceed at this point.

I held out my hand for my husband to take. I had him rise from his knees and I deliverd his hand to my lovers cock. I suspected that he might do so very gingerly, as if he was holding something he found offensive to touch. He surprised me by wrapping his fingers around the base of Jim's cock and holding it with an almost erotic grasp. With his other hand, he held the tip of Jim's cock just below the head. He guided it to my waiting body and positioned it on the warm, wet lips that had so long been reserved only for matrimonial pleasures shared between husband and wife. I watched his gaze go from Jim's cock to Jim's eyes.

"Tell him," I said.

"I want you inside her," he told Jim.

"So be it," said Jim, "I'm going to fuck your wife."

With that, Jim's cock slipped inside me. Guided only at first by my husband's hand. Then my husband stepped back and watched my flesh give way as Jim took me as his lover. He let his one leg fall back to the floor so that he could gain greater leverage as he rhythmically stroked his heavily veined, magnificent cock in and out of my body. I allowed myself to forget about my husband as I became a vixen bitch for this powerful man. My fingers pulled at his chest hairs, my breasts shook as my body was rocked by his thrusting hips. I arched my back and pointed my toes to the ceiling. I was having orgasm after orgasm and my desire for it to go on forever was only matched by my need to feel his warm ejaculation inside me. Ultimately, Jim gritted his teeth, dug his nails into my shoulders, and exploded.

It was then, with my eyes still closed and my breath short, that I noticed a warm kiss on my forehead. It was not Jim. Jim had pulled his heavy body off of me and was standing beside the bed facing me. It was my cuckold husband. He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead again.

"I love you," I whispered to him.

He closed his eyes and kissed me deeply on the mouth. I put my hand between my legs. I could feel Jim's warm seed leeking from my body. I touched it and brought it up to my husband's lips. He closed his eyes and sucked it off of my finger with an animal hunger that reminded me that his own passions were not spent. I opened my legs for him and he climbed onto the bed to position his mouth on my dripping pussy. And with this mystical potion of my lust and my lover's seed, he completed his metamorphosis into cuckoldry.

Jim stepped out of the room and into the bathroom to freshen up. It seemed like an eternity before Jim returned. I was enjoying new orgasms from my husband's mouth, and I was losing track of time. Jim took my hand to announce his return.

"Cuckold, my lover is back. Sleep on the floor beside us. We will need you again in the morning."

With that I slept. I am sure that my cuckold did not.

Impact of Cuckolding

2005-11-22T07:01:00.000-08:00

I will very likely return to post the details of the cuckolding experience. I have written much of that post, but I am saving it for a later date. Let me talk a little bit about the aftermath of the experience as I feel that many of you may be interested in what is happening since the dust has settled.

Let me first say that we have not repeated the activity since the first encounter. Even I underestimated the intensity of this experience on my husband's submissive psyche. I do not say this to mean that the impact was negative. It certainly had the desired effect of creating a new high water mark in regard to his sub-space experience. However, I do not want this to be commonplace and jeopardize the opportunity to again hit or even exceed the emotional depth charge that it was.

I look at him differently. This is a beautiful man that has now made the ultimate surrender to me. In an evening, he layed ego, centuries of tradition, and any pretext for returning to a mainstream life at my feet. In exchange he received the perfect knowledge that he is completely and irrevocably mine.

He looks at me differently as well. It is as though I control a chemical release into his brain that he will forever need in order to feel happy and complete. Some might say the same about love, but I have known both, and I prefer this.

I have not lost interest

2005-11-10T14:12:00.000-08:00

I have not lost interest. However, while many of the posts on this blog have been very supportive, I have been adequately offended by enough of them that I have had many second thoughts about continuing this blog. I will likely return to posting, but I am not yet ready to do so.

Cuckold Adventure Continues

2005-10-28T13:23:00.000-07:00

My husband opened the door and welcomed my new lover into the home.

He had of course seen Jim before at the charity party where Jim and I first met. However, these were very different circumstances. I had coached Jim to be very matter of fact with my husband. Apparently all that transpired prior to my husband returning to the bathroom to announce Jim's arrival was a very non-descript introduction and hand-shake.

I gave myself one final look in the mirror and headed out to meet Jim. My husband followed behind me. We greeted each other with a small kiss and Jim was quick to compliment me. He looked very good also. He wore a pair of wool dress slacks with a tight-fitting black shirt and autumn-colored sport coat.

I instructed my husband to pour Jim and I a glass of wine. Then, at the risk of making Jim a little uncomfortable, I asked both of the boys to join me in the living room for a quick chat. I sat next to Jim on the couch and my husband took a seat in the high-backed chair opposite the two of us. I put one arm around Jim and held my wine in my other hand.

I told my husband that I had explained our marital arrangement with Jim. However, to make sure that there was perfect clarity on the matter, I asked my husband to again explain our situation. My husband was clearly nervous. He started by saying that our marriage is female-led. He chooses to submit to me because this is what makes both of us happiest. Part of that submission, he went on, includes my absolute right to take on additional sex partners. While I had never done this before, my right to do so was not to be questioned. Furthermore, my husband conceded that he very much wanted this to happen. To the extent that it was ok with the two of us, he would like to watch, and if possible, assist in any way that we required.

At this point, I asked my husband to kneel in front of me. I told Jim that my husband's involvement would be totally his (Jim's) call. In truth, I had already discussed this with Jim and we had agreed that my husband would participate. I leaned into Jim and we kissed each other passionately. For a moment, Jim's hands slid up my skirt and warmed the space between my legs. I asked Jim if he was still ok with our plans to go out to dinner and return afterwards. Jim was indeed very enthusiastic.

Now I very dramatically licked the rim of my wine glass. Then I put the glass in my two hands and extended it down to my husband. I told my husband that he has one last chance to express any concerns. Or, by taking a sip of the wine, he would seal his fate and forever be my cuckold. He took my cue and sipped the wine that I offered him. I told him to stay on his knees and watch us as we rose to leave the house. The last thing I told him as we headed out the door was that when we returned, Jim was going to fuck me.

Cuckold's Evening: Part 1

2005-10-24T14:43:00.000-07:00

I am going to have to do this in pieces or I will never get around to finishing it. I have not yet decided what level of detail I will get into as the story progresses.

Friday afternoon, I had gone out and had my nails done while my husband was at work. He got home early, around 5:30, and I came in the door from the nail salon right after him. He greeted me at the door with a friendly peck on the cheek. I embraced him and turned his friendly peck into a deep, romantic kiss. Then I asked him to go off into the bathroom and run me my bath. When I came back to the bathroom, he was naked and kneeling beside the tub waiting for me to arrive. He helped me out of my clothes, but before getting in the water, I asked him to neatly trim the patch of hair between my legs with the clippers. He did this and then cleaned up the mess while I sat in the tub to soak.

He washed my entire body including my hair. He helped me out and wrapped me in two plush towels. I asked him to get into my bath water and clean himself up while I got started getting myself ready. He was not in the tub long. He was cleaned up, out and straightening things up as quickly as he possibly could. He definately wanted to participate in the rest of my preparations for the evening. I did my own hair and started on my make-up while he sat behind me planting soft kisses on my bottom. I told him to keep his tongue in his mouth as I did not think it would be fair to Jim otherwise.

My husband helped me into my hose, my skirt, my top, and my shoes. I told him to go get himself ready while I finished primping. He put on a pair of simple dress khakis and a starched, white button-down shirt. He returned to the bathroom and stood beside me just staring at me. He told me I looked beautiful. I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. I kissed him very softly on the lips. I told him I loved him very much. I told him that I was doing all of this because I wanted to do it, but I was doing it with the understanding that it was also what he wanted. I asked him if this was correct, and he nodded. He told me he loved me also. Then he told me that in submitting to me he feels intensely loved in a way that overwhelms him and satisfies him in a way that he could only describe as primal... as spiritual and physiological at the same time. He said he knew that he would feel that love on this night and in fact said he felt it as he spoke. I handed him the necklace that we had bought on our shopping trip and asked him to put it on me. I told him that I was wearing it for this occasion, and I wanted it to always remind him of this evening. He held it to his lips and kissed it before fastening it around my neck.

I told him to go into the kitchen and open a bottle of wine while I finished up. I asked him to set out two glasses, but not to pour anything just yet. I was still primping in front of the mirror when I heard the doorbell ring.

Breakfast

2005-10-22T12:20:00.000-07:00

My husband served breakfast to Jim and me before Jim left late this morning. I will post a more detailed update when time and energy permit. For now let me just advise any of you fantasizing about submission to your wives and not living the joys that it has to offer, please do yourselves a favor and buy the Around Her Finger book immediately!

My 50th Post

2005-10-21T07:53:00.000-07:00

Well, tonight's the night.

At dinner, I plan on discussing my very detailed expectations for the "after dinner show" with Jim. He already has a high-level understanding and buy-in as to what will be happening. I want to take it a step further and to some extent script the evening to maximize my husband's sub-space intensity and my own personal enjoyment.

Stay tuned.

Cuckold Shopping Trip

2005-10-20T05:12:00.000-07:00

My husband has been absolutely on edge for the past several days. While he has spent a lot of time nibbling between my legs, he has remained chaste and has spent every night sleeping on the floor beside my bed.

Last night we took a little shopping trip to get ready for my date. He helped me pick out stockings, shoes, a new skirt, a very elegant top (much too hip to refer to as a blouse) that shows off my breasts beautifully. All night long there was "Jim is really going to like this" and "Jim will love ripping this off me" sort of chatter. Taking a cue from Elise Sutton, I had him walk just slightly behind me and carry all of the bags.

We stopped in an artsy little store after going to the mall where I purchased an inexpensive necklace. It was a small, white square amulate on a thin, black leather strand. It is not particularly symbolic of anything on its own, but I just wanted something unique to wear for the evening.

Before we went to sleep I sat on the end of the bed and let my husband kneel in front of me sucking on my toes. I talked about what I wanted Jim to do to me and how I knew that in pleasuring me it would also please my husband. I want to feel Jim's hands on my body. I want to know his breath on my neck and on my mouth. I want his weight on me. I want him to lift my legs apart by pushing up my thighs with his strong forearms. I want a long pause as the head of his cock gets in position to penetrate me. At the moment he slides inside of me - as I feel that first slow stroke pushing his warm flesh into my body - I want to be staring at my husband. I want him to know that I love him, but not to expect my look to convey this. My look will convey our mutual realization that in this moment he is being humiliated... cuckolded... all because he has allowed it to happen and only in part for his own good (my pleasure is at stake here as well). He will instantly fall into sub-space. My eyes will fall off of my husband and onto my deserving lover. As Jim takes me he deserves and will receive my attention.

With that, I pulled my toes from his mouth and got under the covers to sleep.

My Husband's Request

2005-10-17T05:55:00.000-07:00

My husband has requested that I not share the details of my upcoming date with Jim on this blog. He claims that it is too intimate an experience to be shared in this format. I have not yet decided how I feel about this request. My husband asks so little of me that I am inclined to honor his wishes as they relate to this matter. I am only making you all aware of this now so that your expectations might be tempered in advance.

Feel free to comment on this issue because as of now I remain undecided, and I could possibly be swayed by feedback from this community.

Discussed Cuckolding with My Husband

2005-10-16T12:59:00.000-07:00

Last night my husband and I went to a very low-key dinner at an Italian restaurant with the sort of corny red and white checked tablecloths you see in movies. We had a long talk about everything that is happening. He is quite frankly scared to death about my date next week. I too am incredibly nervous.

As scared as both of us are, we are both determined to go through with the whole affair. I have promised my husband that I will never see "Jim" without my husband being involved in the evening in some way. I have also committed that I will cease to see him at all if my husband becomes uncomfortable with the process. This is not an abdication of my dominance in any way. I choose to give my husband this decision-making authority because the authority is mine to give. The very act of granting him this veto power is evidence of my dominance. It also will add an element of involvement on my husband's part that he could not otherwise have. When he watches Jim's cock push against the lips of my vagina, and watches my body open to receive him, he will watch knowing that he could have stopped it by simply speaking up.

My husband and I drank a bottle of wine and talked about a thousand subjects. We have so much in common. He is a wonderful man and I love him dearly. I am fortunate that he serves me, but more fortunate yet that he loves me.

Cuckolding Scheduled

2005-10-13T04:21:00.000-07:00

My husband had just fixed me a cup of herbal tea and was on his knees rubbing my feet with lotion when the phone rang. It was Jim, the new man in our lives.

We chatted like old friends and I smiled often as I listened to him flirt with me on the telephone. Shortly into the call, I allowed my own hand to find its way between my legs, and I began pleasuring myself as I continued to speak with Jim. My husband mistakenly took this as a cue to start going down on me, but I silently scolded him and intimated that he needed to continue to focus his attention on my feet.

I continued to chat as my husband returned to his duties. Soon Jim got around to asking me out. He initially suggested a trendy new restaurant not far from my home. I told him that I was too likely to see people I knew there, and I preferred something more discreet. We settled on a restaurant in a very artsy part of town where I am unlikely to know anybody. The date is set for next Friday night. He will pick me up at 7:00, we will go eat, and we will return to my house where my husband will have desert and wine ready for us. Jim and I concluded our call by saying we would definately talk again before next Friday night.

After I hung up the phone, I asked my husband to go and get my pinky ring off of the nightstand. Recall that this ring is a tool that I use as a surrogate chastity device. (When I'm not wearing the ring he knows that while he will still be expected to serve me orally prior to intercourse, he also knows that he may consumate his intercourse by ejaculating inside of me. When I have the ring on, he is not to orgasm.) Having removed the ring earlier in the evening, I am certain that my husband was expecting to orgasm later in the night. When I instructed him to go get the ring so that I could put it back on, I made it very clear that he would remain chaste that night. I am certain that he also assumed, correctly, that I am inclined to leave that ring on until afer the cuckolding session next week.

I went to bed that night, but before doing so used a very large dildo to pleasure myself. My husband, at my command, slept beside the bed on the floor.

Phone Call

2005-10-10T12:37:00.000-07:00

He called me today.

My husband was working, but I was home. The phone rang, and when I picked it up it was the man that I met at the party this weekend. For the purpose of this blog, let's call him Jim.

Jim and I spoke for some time. It began as the sort of giddy small talk that two teenagers might have. Soon, he asked me to share a little more detail about the openness of my marriage. I told him that my husband and I have an understanding; I tell him what to do and he does it. I explained that I am the dominant spouse in our marriage, and my husband accepts and furthermore embraces his submissive role. I went on to explain that as a result of our roles, I am permitted to sleep with other men and my husband must only be intimate with me. I also told Jim that if he and I ended up sleeping together, it would be the first time that I took advantage of my freedom. I also explained, as best I could to a man unfamiliar with femdom marriages how this would benefit my husband. I told Jim that I would like to involve my husband in any affair in which we might decide to engage, and that he would need to indulge me in this requirement if he wanted to pursue me.

We talked about all of this in some detail. I am rushed right now trying to get to the gym before the crowds arrive, but I will continue to update all of you on the progress I am making.

I can't help but thinking that I have come a long way from aroundherfinger.com!

New Cuckold Candidate

2005-10-09T14:26:00.000-07:00

I definatley like the prospect of the current candidate to cuckold my husband better than I like the idea of my ex-fiance. As many of you suggested, bringing my ex-fiance back into my life would have a great deal of baggage associated with it. This new man was a complete stranger prior to this weekend.

I am still a long way from moving forward with this. I had given him my phone number, but he is yet to call. That has not stopped my husband from being completely on edge since the other night. Every time the phone rings my husband has been running to get it so that he can hand it to me to answer. Those that have cautioned against me moving forward with these plans must really consider how badly my husband seems to want this.

Cuckolding Interest Resurfacing

2005-10-09T05:51:00.000-07:00

My husband and I were at party last night for a charitable organization in which I am involved. It was a large event at a downtown hotel. My husband had gone to get us drinks at the bar, and while he was away, a very attractive man approached me and started speaking to me. After some time, my husband returned with the drinks, handed me mine with a polite smile, and then quickly darted away to allow me to continue my conversation with this man.

I could see my husband across the room keeping an eye on us. As much out of an interest in teasing my husband as anything else, I began to flirt with this man with physical cues that would even be evident even from a distance. I ended up spending most of the party talking to him, and we spent quite a bit of time on the dance floor. He is single, but I explained to him that I am married to a man with whom I share an understanding. His eyes lit up as he had never been involved with a woman in an open relationship, but it was clearly of interest to him.

At the end of the evening he asked me to go home with him. I declined the invitation, but I did give him my cell phone number. He left before I did, and he kissed me on the cheek when he left, in full view of my husband. We left shortly thereafter. I could not wait to get home and get my husband's tongue between my legs.

I told my husband that I expected to see this gentleman again and that I expected him to be supportive. I will absolutely post the developments on this blog.

Time with the In-laws

2005-10-01T04:37:00.000-07:00

We hosted my husband's parents recently for several days in our home. As I have indicated before, we choose to keep our femdom lifestyle very private. Therefore, it was relatively difficult to live our typical day to day lives given the guests in our home.

By the time they left, I would have to think that my in-laws would at least have to consider that our marriage is, at the very least, not typical. Despite the fact that we were very restrained this week, my husband still continued to do an enormous amount of the household work soley on the basis of habit alone. The one meal that we had at home, he cooked and served.

The only escape that we had the entire time was when we retired to our bedroom. I spent more than one night penetrating him with my strap-on. His tongue danced between my legs from the minute the bedroom door was closed. It was as if we had both been in a desert deprived of water the entire time that we entertained his parents. On the final day, it occured to me that I could remind him of the strap-on session the night before by having him discreetly wear a plug for the last afternoon that the two of them were with us.

While it was a delightful visit, by the time they left, my husband and I were both exhausted. It is funny how you become comfortable with a certain set of daily routines and find yourself at ill ease when they are not present in your life. If nothing else, the visit from the in-laws served as an excellent reminder that we are both - my husband and I - happiest when he is in unhampered service to me.

One But Not the Other

2005-09-26T14:53:00.000-07:00

I really am more and more convinced that most (maybe all) men have an innate need to submit to women. I think that an individual's circumstances may suppress that need in some cases and may exagerate it in others, but I think it exists nonetheless.

While I would like to believe that all women have an innate desire to dominate men, I just have not seen enough evidence of this to convince me. Within certain subcultures, women seem to take on roles. In traditional Southern communities, women often seem passive and submissive. On the other hand, in the African American community, dominance seems to be the prevailing female nature. I remember watching the show Wife-Swap where a black wife was clearly dominant to her white submissive husband. She laid in bed and rang a little bell every time she needed something.

In general, however, dominance does not seem to as ubiquitous in the American woman (I am not qualified to speak in regard to other countries/societies). I still maintain that the potential to self-actualize via submission is in the eyes of almost every man I see.

Breaking Him Down Slowly

2005-09-24T11:05:00.000-07:00

I regret in some ways that my husband has always been aware that he is submissive. How lucky you women are that have husbands completely out of touch with what I (more and more) believe is the male's innate need to submit.

You could break him down slowly by using your feminine sexuality to tease, torment and ultimately conquer him. You can take credit for introducing him to the pleasure of loving female authority. You can watch him evolve and grow under your constant nurturing. Before and after snapshots will reveal quite a story. The before profile is a man with no direction, no focus. The after profile is a man committed to your service and free in a way that he never was before.

Women owe the introduction of femdom to their men. Anything less is almost cruel.

Training Regime

2005-09-15T04:43:00.000-07:00

I was asked in a comment to my last post to discuss whether or not I have a formal training regime in place with my husband. I thought a little about it, but I have to say that the answer is no. There is no training involved with him beyond his getting used to certain activities (e.g. see my post on golden showers). The rules are very simple... I tell him what I expect him to do, and he does it. On occasions where he is slacking off, I remind him of what I expect and he reacts. I really am not a masochist and have no desire to inflict pain to perfect his ability to perform a given task.

If training is required in a femdom relationship, it seems to me that the wife is the one that needs it most. Remember -- this is a 24/7 relationship with a man that I love -- I have to learn when to back off and when to put my foot down. There are occasions when he needs a little down time, and I am growing in my ability to recognize these occasions and moderate my expectations accordingly. Any woman living this lifestyle over time that tells you he is always "on" is, in my opinion, just not being honest.

Perhaps I should spend more time on this topic as it is of more practical value than my musings on cuckolding, etc. I think the topic is well-addressed in Around Her Finger, but I would enjoy sharing my insight on it here in this forum.

More on Forced Bi

2005-09-09T05:04:00.000-07:00

Further consideration has given me some new thinking on the notion of having my husband suck another man's cock. I have thought about how many times in the early years of our marriage I put my mouth on his cock, and I think of the forced bi experiment as an opportunity to wash away his past transgression for putting me in this position of juxtaposed authority.

When giving my husband blowjobs in the past, I did it because I felt it was an unselfish means of providing him pleasure. Of course I recognized the aura of humility that it brought to me, but never gave it a second thought given that it was occuring in a loving relationship. However, now I look back at it with an enlightened perspective. My husband knew at the time that we first married that he was submissive. Even if I didn't know it, he did. He also knew that I was superior to him and demanded reverence in the relationship beyond what I even comprehended at the time. Yet knowing all this, he still allowed me to kneel before him and to place my mouth on his penis.

He tells me now that he never really enjoyed receiving oral sex. While it produces physical pleasure for him, it never engendered a sense of closeness to me. This sense of closeness - of emotional intimacy - was always a decent if not perfect substitute for the sense of intimate surrender to me that he now has via our open practice loving female authority. So, knowing that the blowjobs represented some sense of temporary submission on my part, and knowing that he did not really want them in the first place, I am left thinking of a remedy for what he allowed to happen.

Perhaps to have him know the humility of sucking a cock is entirely appropriate.

Forced Bi Fantasies

2005-09-08T06:55:00.000-07:00

I have never given much thought to the idea of forcing my husband to participate in bi-sexual activities. I have always known that if I cuckold him, I would like him to clean the other man's cum from between my legs, but that's not quite the same as putting his mouth, for example, on another man's cock.

Much of the cuckold erotica involves an evolution in the sexual play to a point where the alpha male is dominating at least the cuckolded husband and forcing him to suck on his cock or in some cases open his legs to receive anal sex. Some of the cuckold erotica goes a step beyond this and the alpha male ends up dominating both the submissive male and the wife. I know that the latter has no appeal to me as my authority in my own home is not to be questioned. The former, however, has some appeal, but I would not envision participating in this sort of activity in any initial cuckold experiment that I may undertake.

I want the centerpiece of the experience to be a surrender of his jealousy to his submission. I want the animal need to gaurd one's mate to be overcome by the intellectual, spiritual and perhaps equally innate need to put my pleasure above his own emotions. I want the void of humiliation to be washed away by the power of his devotion to me. This all seems better afforded by a cock between my legs as opposed to one in his mouth.

My husband denies any forced-bi fantasies. I wonder if these fantasies are common or not among submissive men.

Cuckolding Close to Home

2005-09-01T04:52:00.000-07:00

Please excuse my recent absence from the blog. I am going to have to resort to less frequent posts as time constraints and writer's block are making the daily commitment impossible.

I have thought a great deal lately about the pleasure I would take from cuckolding. This is separate from the impact it would have on my husband altogether. I have found myself thinking that I would like to be with another man just for the sheer hedonistic pleasure of it. This seems important.

I was at an outdoor party in my neighborhood this weekend. There was a gentlemen who perhaps had too much to drink who was going just a little beyond neighborly chit-chat and flirting with me with quite blatently. He is an attractive man, and I will confess to having been very charmed by his actions.

I mentioned this to my husband later. My husband doesn't know this man very well, but for some reason is not very fond of him. He asked that I please not entertain any thoughts of cuckolding him with this man. I would never cuckold him with this particular man as 1) he is married, and 2) I do not want a reputation in the neighborhood that results in hushed whispers every time I go for a walk. However, I have been teasing my husband a bit with the idea.

The whole thing gets both of us extremely hot.

Instructions for my Male Readers

2005-08-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

For the most part, people are not stumbling across sites that preach the virtues of loving female authority. Most of the people that come to sites like this do so because they have an active interest in the topic.

I think that the best way to generate awareness and enthusiasm for wife-led households is to push for mentions of the topic in general audience media outlets. Send letters and emails to magazines, post on forums related to marriage advice, call your local radio talk shows. Do anything that allows people that are completely unaware of femdom marriages to hear about the topic. You can mention your favorite sites if you want, but just mentioning the subject in general will at least make people aware of the fact that sites like this even exist. People can then do their own research with a search engine if they wish.

Male visitors to this blog are encouraged to reach out to the media at least once a month with some sort of plea to cover this topic. Please post comments against this post to indicate what you are doing to honor this request and what, if any, response you might get. If you send emails to sites, include a copy of the email and the address to which you sent it in your post. The Around Her Finger Movement begins with individuals just like yourselves.

The Missing Link of Loving Female Authority

2005-08-27T15:32:00.000-07:00

Men have definately accounted for the majority of individuals that have commented on this site. This is no accident. I am absolutely sure that there are countless more men than women that know they are interested in female dominaiton as a lifestyle. I think that dominant women are generally content to be so without analyzing and fantasizing about it. Submissive men, however, have a near obsession with it and seek forums such as this for kindred souls and genuine advice for developing a femdom dynamic in their own relationships.

The real irony is that women could more easily benefit from forums such as this because the message to potential dominant wives is so simple and easily understood. They need only understand the "great missing link" of loving female authority. That missing link is that it is not enough for men to submit to a woman. They need her to acknowledge his submission and communicate their dominance over him. Men are willing to serve any woman that actively dominates him for as long as it pleases her. They can only serve in secret for so long. I think this is the central message of the Around Her Finger movement.

The Politics of Femdom

2005-08-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

I have heard the growing consciousness of male interest in loving female authority described as the Around Her Finger Movement. It is an interesting term as it is easily and quickly described and has the convenient follow on monicker that men are happiest when wrapped around the finger of the woman they love. The purpose of this post, however, is to explore how a man's submissive nature translates into a political disposition and a broader political movement.

My husband and I are both basically libertarians. We are socially liberal and economically conservative. In the voting booth that has generally translated into me voting Democrat and my husband voting Republican. There is no question that my husband would cast his vote however I tell him, but I also have no desire to rob him of this right. What will be interesting is how he will vote if Hillary is running against a man. I asked him what he would do in this situation and he was genuinely undecided. Frankly we would both be scared by the threat to our rights by someone as liberal as Hillary in office, but I for one know that I will vote for her. I like the way matriarchy works in my own home and I want to see it expanded in society in general. I suspect that he does as well.

I welcome your thoughts on this topic. However... I have one caveat. While I shared my own political views to set up my story, I am not interested in arguing politics on this site. You are of course welcome to share your own views to introduce your comments, but men especially, don't dare challenge my conclusions regarding politics. I will delete your posts at once. If you want to argue politics go to Little Green Footballs or one of the countless blogs devoted to general political discussion.

Pushing Him

2005-08-25T12:13:00.000-07:00

One thing that becomes evident as a wife-led relationship progresses is that his work in completing routine chores does not provide him the same endorphin rush that it did in the beginning. Submission is an all encompassing relationship dynamic, but after years of doing my laundry (for example), I am certain that ironing my blouses does not have the same sexual edge it once did. In one very real sense this is irrelevant. He will do my personal bidding as I see fit regardless of the pleasure he takes from it. In another sense, however, I am obligated to continue to stimulate his submission simply because I love him and I want to see him take pleasure from his service.

I am constantly showering him with reminders of my control in the relationship. Sexual teasing during the day and erotic activities in the evening go a very long way in keeping him motivated. However, at least one visitor to this blog implied in his post that my interest in cuckolding my husband represents another step in intensifying my domination over him -- a step I take only because I am becoming bored with all the steps we have taken so far. I wondered if perhaps there was some truth to this. Cuckolding would probably be the last step I would ever take, and I hate to think that I go there because I am addicted to intensifying my relationship. This would mean that after cuckolding there would be nothing else left to explore.

After much thought I have decided that this is not the case. I am not on a linear path in my relationship with my husband that would ultimately have an end-game. I am in a relationship with my husband that was wonderful before femdom, and will be wonderful if we do or do not explore activities that we have so far avoided.

An Obvious Purchase

2005-08-24T05:42:00.000-07:00

If you have ever had a massage in an upscale spa, you know that they typically offer no comparison to what most husbands, submissive or otherwise, might offer at home. I want to share with you some of the elements of the home massages that my husband gives me that make them a truly escapist experience.

To begin with, he purchased a moderately priced massage table off the internet. The entry-level models range in price from $250 to $500. Be certain to get one that has an extended head-rest and that can support the combined weight of the two of you. The same online stores that sell these also sell massage aromatherapy equipment, massage stones and warmers, linens, etc. Be sure to purchase the massage oil in quantity. Another thing that separate the home massage from the spa massage is the quantity of oil or creme that they use in the massage. Do not let him be stingy. Have him use a generous amount of the oil and spend a lot of time on each muscle area working it in.

Also, setting the mood is important. We do our massages in a loft area off of our den so that we do not constantly have to set up and break down. We have about fifteen candles, a cd player that plays custom mixes that I put together (lasting about an hour each), an aromatherapy vaporizer, and towels, linens, etc.

I tell him to go set up the massage and he runs up to get it ready before I go up. When I come up, it is in nothing but a robe. He is waiting next to the table, candles lit and music playing, on his knees completely naked. I lay down on the table as I would at a spa, except for the fact that I place a small pillow below my hips so that as the massage comes to a conclusion, he will have better access to my anus and vagina for oral service. He covers me with a sheet and proceeds to massage one part of my body at a time until the CD comes to a conclusion. Then, and only then, do I allow him permission to go down on me from behind. This lasts for about another twenty minutes until I decide how I want our intimacy to conclude for the evening.

We have been doing this -- I would estimate -- three to five times a week for over two years. Therefore I look at the several hundred dollar investment in the massage table as pennies given the value it represents. By my rough math, my average cost per massage to date is below $1.00 per instance. A massage at the high end spas in my own area cost over $100 per hour and they don't include the twenty minutes of delightful tongue dancing on my bottom!

For men that are already living in femdom marriages, buying this table is a duty. For those that want to nurture their wife's dominance, I would say there could be no better first step than this.

My Husband's Views on Cuckolding

2005-08-23T04:56:00.000-07:00

Quite a number of the comments posted by viewers of this site have appropriately urged caution concerning any plans I might have to cuckold my husband. My husband and I had a lengthy and candid conversatoin on this topic last night, and I thought I would post some of his thoughts here on the blog.

He confesses that cuckolding scares him to death. Just as I have confided in all of you that he is the most important person in my life, I am also the most important person in his. Any cuckolding experience holds the potential to unleash emotional energy beyond what we can imagine going into it. Also, the idea of me developing an attachment to my new lover that transcends mere physical pleasure is not something either one of us would want to happen. This is a very real fear for him.

So between the two of us, we share a mutual knowledge that cuckolding is dangerous. We also,however, share a mutual understanding that it is incredibly powerful. He knows that there is nothing that will more acutely stimulate his submission than to assist me as I am taken by another man. He described his fantasies to me in this regard with great detail. Whether or not I ever go through with it, I absolutely must leave open the possibility that I will. We both need to know, for our own reasons, that I am the sovereign in our marriage. My limits are my limits, but his limits are whatever I decide that they are.

Last night, after our conversation, I took him with my strap-on with an intensity I seldom have brought to our lovemaking. I ultimately collapsed on his body in exhaustion. I saw afterwards that he was crying. I kissed his tears then ordered him to sleep on the floor at the foot of my bed.

My Husband's Role in this Blog

2005-08-22T04:44:00.000-07:00

When I first started this blog, my husband was among the first to read every post. It was only when I began to plot out the details of my cuckolding plan that I restricted him from viewing this blog. He is once again reading these posts.

To my husband, this blog is a mechanism for appealing to his desire to be publicly outed as a submissive without the consequences of our family and friends having access to the intimate details of our personal life. I think that many submissive men want the world to know that they serve their wife, but also recognize that the world immediately around them may not be quite ready for that reality.

I may again decide to take another look at cuckolding. If I do, I will likely think of another way of sharing the details of my intentions outside of this blog yet still involve the growing community of readers interested in our relationship. The idea of having a large number of strangers knowing more about my intentions than my husband has a great appeal to me -- despite what anyone else might feel about it.

For Those Who Find this Site Objectionable

2005-08-20T07:42:00.000-07:00

I received a very respectful, but disapproving post that was critical of the relationship that I have with my husband.

I understand that many, even most, people that would happen across this blog would be quite shocked by the nature of our wife-led household. My most sincere regret, however, is that anyone's initial introduction to loving female authority come from this blog. While many men that have been suppressing their inner desire to submit to women might immediately realize what wife worship has to offer them from reading through these posts, many other men and certainly most women would consider the advanced nature of my own relationship as much too extreme.

As I have done in previous posts, I encourage anyone reading this blog to go and read through the Addison's www.aroundherfinger.com site. They describe a much more genteel approach to loving female authority that I do here. Nobody that reads through their site with an open mind could deny that their approach is both realistic and satisfying for all those that choose to embrace it.

Are All Women Candidates for Wife-led Marriages?

2005-08-19T12:31:00.000-07:00

Clearly there are some women for whom cultural, religous and even psychological reasons are going to be extremely reluctant to embrace what loving female authority can offer them. Maybe there are some women that will never embrace their dominant side. However, I honestly believe that most women can be coaxed into assuming a position of more authority in their home and, over time, can become more dominant. They may not have their husbands kneeling in front of them while they pee in your mouth, but they can and will get used to the idea of telling them what they expect and want.

In a recent comment to one of my posts 'Quiet Guy' complains that his wife refuse to believe that he'll start doing more housework. Well, Quiet Guy, prove it to her. Get up at 4:00 a.m. and have it done before she's out of bed if that's what it takes. Submission is very serious business. It is not a game. Until she's received her 52nd foot rub from you, until you've made some token confession of your submission, until you have made every effort to prove to her that you are there to serve her, then don't give up.

You belong kneeling at her feet, and she deserves to dominate you. Take your seduction of her dominant nature as seriously as you take your fantasies of sexual submission.

Mainstreaming the Wife-led Household

2005-08-19T05:11:00.000-07:00

I would imagine that the community of couples participating in relationships where both woman and man openly acknowledge her dominance is very small. I would be relatively certain that it is fewer than 5,000 households, maybe fewer than 1,000 (please challenge me on this if you have evidence to the contrary). However, I believe that the number of households is enormous where 1) the man is a closet submissive and would LOVE to be controlled by his wife, and 2) the wife would be open to the idea if it were appropriately presented to her.

I am certain that this blog is not particularly helpful to drive a movement of mainstreaming the femdom relationship. I have already crossed barriers in sharing my own experiences that detract from the poignancy of an initial introduction.

I think the two key selling points for a woman are that first and foremost, submission is an expression of a man's love for his wife. Men have trouble expressing themselves. My husband's submission to me is love just as my nurturing of his submission is also love. The second selling point is that it will make a woman's life more comfortable. He works hard to keep me happy. In doing so, it makes him happy. Incidentlally, his happiness is not beside the point.

I have rambled even though I try to avoid doing so in this blog. Anyone that chooses to build on these points and/or can offer suggestions for mainstreaming femdom, please do so.